Now what on earth would make me defensive? I mean, it’s not like people try to dictate my life, get condescending, assume I’m not trying, and figure it’s some kind of personal flaw that I’m poor. It’s not like people who live across the world from me try to tell me that I’m a bad person for having a steak dinner once in a while.
I’m sorry your experiences suck. But let me make a recommendation in the future: stuff 'em. I know the tales of welfare lifers. Really, I do. You know why? Because people always bring them up, every time the subject comes up. Every. Single. Time. I get tired of it. I get tired of people telling me (always in as “nonjudgmental a way as possible” not to let it become permanent.
It’s condescending, it’s rude, and it’s unnecessary. And it can be perceived as downright patronizing.
Doubtful. Both total income tax liability and income tax rate increase with income in almost every case. Many people don’t make enough money to owe any income tax at all, and more still are net recipients of transfer payments from the government when government assistance is factored in. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
That’s actually been proven as a myth. They’ve done studies, and have found no discernible difference in the amount or quality of sleep. In fact, if given too soon, it can cause gas and increased fussiness. Not to mention it’s a choking hazard if given in a bottle.
Thanks, Kalhoun! Good suggestion…I’ve been trying to give him cereal, but he just doesn’t seem interested. It’s weird, because his sister took right to it at about 4 1/2 months, but he is 6 months and it’s still practically impossible to get him to swallow it down. Little stinker is just trying to make my life more difficult.
I guess another reason I’m a little crabby about this stuff these days is that money’s getting much tighter now that I have 2 kids in daycare. We’re in such a catch-22. I make just enough that it wouldn’t be smart for me to quit, and we’ll be in much better shape in a few years if I keep working now, but most of my income is going to pay for daycare. It just makes it a little tougher to get out of bed every morning and deal with organizing myself & the kiddos off to where we need to be!
I’d just like to throw in that I worked as a manager at a store that took WIC checks for a few years in Pennsylvania, and the rules are substantially similar to the stuff from Massachussetts that was posted:
Users of the vouchers got NO choice in what they could buy–brands and sizes were exactly specified. A typical WIC check would have a list like:
The cereal and juice lists were clearly posted with specific brand names–no lucky charms, only bran flakes, etc. The formula was ALWAYS specified EXACTLY by brand. They would do secret-shopper tests every so often to ensure compliance.
It used to drive my dad (the owner) nuts, because the limits on pricing on the formula meant he was making 0 profit selling formula to WIC customers.
And having seen people check out with their WIC baby food, and spend all their cash on cigarettes and steaks for their boyfriend while their school-age kids are gaunt, well…dammit, it IS for the babies, not the mothers, and it’s structured in such a way that you can’t really buy snacky or terribly appealing foods on it as a form of cheating, unless you want to go on a frozen orange juice bender.
She already said that she incomed out on other forms of assistance. Most people use assistance as a stepping stone to a better life. Life is not “good” on welfare. Life is considerably more controlled and you barely scrape by (if in fact you do make it from month to month on what they give you). I don’t know anyone who would choose that “free ride” over the freedom of making their own choices and living their own life. Those who do generally don’t know how to break the cycle.
I don’t envy you at all. Bill Cosby said that you’re not really a parent until you have the second child (which I never did). The sitch is completely different.
Try the smallest bit of cereal in his bottle and increase it as he gets the hang of it. Every little bit helps!!
I still remember going to the house of a guy I worked with. They had just gotten a load of wood with the the last of his work check, so they could heat the house in winter. They had two or three kids, and the surplus government food items had been given out to low income families. They had gotten a nice big block of cheese that I’d have loved to have, but that’s all they had at the time in the house. They didn’t even have bread. All of them were eating the block of cheese for meals until it was gone. That’s the type of scene I think of every time Congress says we can’t afford to raise the minimum wage or have a guaranteed level of health care for all citizens.
Well, I guess the guys doing the study didn’t call enough people. It worked for me and it’s worked for other people I know. The amount of cereal in the bottle does not change it from a liquid to a solid. It just thickens it somewhat. I gave it to my son at 4 months and the fussiness stopped and he slept longer.
Thanks, hon. I’m sorry I’m so cranky. I really do consider myself to be lucky…the kids are both healthy and the baby really is a cute, smiley little guy. I just have to get through this rough spot, and it’s taking me longer than I thought it would this time around.
You’re absolutely right. The Reagan-esque welfare queen doesn’t exist. And the stories you hear of people living in the projects driving Cadillacs? Doesn’t happen. Do you know what happens to an expensive car at night in a bad part of town?
The worst thing about it all is that there is no transition program. When you hit the income limits, you’re out, with no chance for preparation. Do it like we did, and you make an extra $100 a month, but lose $300 in grocery budget. We’re managing, but it’s hard. $20 might not seem like a lot to some, but you know something? that’s a tank of gas I can drive around on for a week to make doctor’s appointments, or a week’s worth of groceries.
Too many people, rather than deal with that hardship (or having to choose between feeding their kids and themselves and paying the bills) simply choose not to advance at all.
There are so few means for someone living in poverty to clamber up. Education? But you have to work to pay your bills. Buy a home? You need credit for that. If you have children, it gets exponentially harder. When childcare costs as much or more than a person’s earning potential, there’s not a lot of incentive to GET a better job.
Oh, and Sarahfeena… have you ever tasted that stuff? YUCK. I wouldn’t eat it either. At 6 months, he’s old enough to try other stuff. My daughter’s first food was sweet potatoes and avocados. We never did the infant cereal. I’d try him on something else.
I can only speak from my own experience and that of which I see daily. I know that life is not “good” on welfare. I never said it was. Never. In fact, I said that I and my sister tried to make sure that we wouldn’t be in the same circumstances that my mother placed us in because we hated it.
My mother DID choose it. She did one semester of college and then quit. She chose to stay on welfare. She chose to fuck up one job after another. She chose to make our lives harder than they needed to be.
I do think that some people use assitance as a stepping stone. I don’t know if it’s MOST people though. I see an awful lot of people dependent on the system for a very long time. There are choices. Some make poor ones, some make great ones. I know that where I live, there is a lot of help for people that want it, and for women that want better for their family.
Now that he’s 6 months, I’ll probably do that…thanks for the suggestion. I don’t think the cereal is that bad, though…it just tastes a little bland. In fact, I made a bowl for him the other day which he didn’t want to eat. His sister, who is 3, asked if she could try it. I said “sure,” and she polished the whole thing off! Of course, she takes after me…she loves anything starchy…bread, cereal, pasta, etc.
If you do decide to go with the cereal route, it’s never wise to put it in a bottle without a doctor’s recommendation (sometimes they recommend it for reflux babies) - it can be a choking hazard. Bowl with spoon works much better, and doesn’t provide the same problem.
They’ve done studies, and have found no discernible difference in the amount or quality of sleep. In fact, if given too soon, it can cause gas and increased fussiness. Not to mention it’s a choking hazard if given in a bottle.
