# I pit workplace fundies. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 12, 2005, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-workplace-fundies/298895 "2005-04-12T01:27:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-workplace-fundies/298895/41 "2005-04-12T04:52:15Z")
I used to work with a couple of fundies, one of whom was the manager. All in all, they were OK guys. Not the most fun, but OK guys. ---
**Author:** ![Excalibre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@Excalibre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Excalibre)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-workplace-fundies/298895/42 "2005-04-12T04:53:10Z")
> [@Duke of Rat](#): > > I always get the biggest kick when a bunch of mutherfuckers who are supposed to be tolerant of other people’s views, heritage, and lifestyle start pitting them for it. > > I guess “Shut the fuck up” doesn’t get the point across? I love this notion that if liberals (assuming the OP is one, of course) are tolerant of other viewpoints, it means we’re hypocritical whenever we don’t tolerate utter rudeness from anyone who wishes to offer it. I love it because it does such a perfect job of illustrating the complete intellectual bankruptcy of our opponents. > [@Lord Ashtar](#): > > You’re right, that made no sense. What I meant was I was wondering how upset the OP would be if I were blasting my music in my car in the parking lot? I play brutal death metal, and I blast it real loud. Would that bother him more or less than his coworker’s music? Even if it’s music I like (neither sort here qualifies, as it happens) I don’t like it when it’s blasted into a public space where I might be trying to enjoy some peace and quiet, or a pleasant conversation. What’s the style of the music have to do with anything? No one here is Godophobic. > [@Sampiro](#): > > Try being openly gay around these people. Saying "I went to a movie with male name " when specifically asked “What’d you do this weekend” is essentially the same thing as saying “I like hot steaming cock” to some of them. But you _do_ like hot steaming cock, don’t you? Yeah, I have noticed a curious tendency on the part of these folks not to have much tolerance for us cockgobblers. ---
**Author:** ![BabaBooey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/dfb087/32.png) [@BabaBooey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BabaBooey)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-workplace-fundies/298895/43 "2005-04-12T05:02:47Z")
> [@Duke of Rat](#): > > But in case I’m wrong, just peruse the plethora of fundie pittings and ask yourself, “Wouldn’t a “Shut the fuck up” have solved a LOT of theatrics and gnashing of teeth?”. I submit that it would. Telling someone to “shut the fuck up” at any of my previous workplaces may have made me feel much better, but it could also endager my job, so may simply not be an option for myself or others. And in my experience, telling a fundie off simply gets them riled up more, leading to more bullshit spewing from their mouths. ---
**Author:** ![furt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/439d5e/32.png) [@furt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furt)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-workplace-fundies/298895/44 "2005-04-12T05:10:26Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > You have to give this to Fundies: their hypocrisies can be really fun in retrospect. Sweet merciful damn, that seals it. **Sampiro** , you just have too many good stories. You are officially the doper I’d most like to have a beer with. Only one though, because after two or three I get horny, and I worry that you might try to seduce me into your godless homosexual lifestyle. ---
**Author:** ![Ca3799](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9f8e36/32.png) [@Ca3799](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ca3799)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-workplace-fundies/298895/45 "2005-04-12T05:26:52Z")
Well, I have a new fundie friend, too! They are a new family to the neighborhood… her daughter is in my sons class at school. We were friendly at the park a couple of times, so I invited them over after school one day. It turns out she drops her child off at school and watches Christian shows all day on cable. I heard it all…“Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve” (She really did say that! I feel like I won a distasteful prize.), the coming apocalypse, atheists are the devil in disguise, and she sees demon shadows from time-to-time, too. Last week, I saw her daughter and mine near a boy on the bench at the playground. This womans daughter looked at the book cover and said “Ooohh! Harry Potter” and then slapped the book out of the boy’s hand knocking it to the ground! This girl is 7 years old (the boy was about 11-12). I told the daughter that she was rude, to apologise, and to not do that again, then told the mom that we liked HP at our house. The mom said she didn’t like it because it had magic in it. I pointed out that most children’s stories contain magic. She said she thought it might be violent. I asked her if she has actually read the Bible. I guess were not friends anymore. (yay) ---
**Author:** ![Rhubarb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/59ef9b/32.png) [@Rhubarb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhubarb)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-workplace-fundies/298895/46 "2005-04-12T05:27:25Z")
Whenever anyone tells me that I’m going to hell because I don’t subscribe to their particular flavor of god, I just smile engagingly and say “That’s great! Save a seat on the bus for me.” And then walk away. I need to think of a catchy tune to whistle while I stroll off. Any suggestions? ---
**Author:** ![Gorsnak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gorsnak/32/7587_2.png) [@Gorsnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorsnak)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 5:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-workplace-fundies/298895/47 "2005-04-12T05:41:39Z")
> [@Rhubarb](#): > > I need to think of a catchy tune to whistle while I stroll off. Any suggestions? Always Look on the Bright Side of Life? ---
**Author:** ![VampyChick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/5daacb/32.png) [@VampyChick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VampyChick)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 6:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-workplace-fundies/298895/48 "2005-04-12T06:13:17Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > We have one of those on my campus. How calling girls “whores” and guys “sodomites” isn’t harassment (sexual or otherwise) I don’t quite understand. There’s actually a betting pool going on whether the first person to turn around and knock the hell out of him will be male or female, how old, what race, etc… (I have white female, 25 or older). Ooh! Ooh! How can I get in on the betting? I say white female, Catholic, under 21. ---
**Author:** ![Odesio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/odesio/32/20003_2.png) [@Odesio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odesio)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 6:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-workplace-fundies/298895/49 "2005-04-12T06:16:53Z")
Many years ago I worked in an office with two Muslim women. Every day they’d go into an unoccupied conference room, close the blinds, and commence with their daily prayers. They didn’t make a big production out of it and it wasn’t disturbing anyone. If their usual conference room was occupied they’d go find another one. For some reason these little prayers really bugged the hell out of one of the other women working there. She’d give them evil stares as they went into the conference room and when they were done she’d make a big deal out of opening up the blinds and complaining that they shouldn’t be using the conference room for their own needs. Some people just need to complain I guess. Marc ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 7:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-workplace-fundies/298895/50 "2005-04-12T07:19:49Z")
Pshaw. Amateurs. [Jesus? No… but have you let “Bob” into your walle, er, heart?](http://www.subgenius.com/pam1/pamphlet_p1.html) ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 11:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-workplace-fundies/298895/51 "2005-04-12T11:54:39Z")
So, the next time someone says, “WWJD”, we should reply, “STFU?” ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_Tonya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/4491bb/32.png) [@Queen\_Tonya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Tonya)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-workplace-fundies/298895/52 "2005-04-12T12:27:00Z")
> [@Duke of Rat](#): > > And I’m sure as hell not telling anybody that they have to be tolerant, just to say “Shut the fuck up” now and then and quit fucking bitching. Sure, sometimes that works, but sometimes it doesn’t. > [@Queen Tonya](#): > > Yet, I’m the heathen ‘bad guy’ if I complain I’m out of stock while he’s sitting in the corner reading his bible instead of doing his job. :rolleyes: See, I really meant this. The Powers That Be at my workplace encourage random proselytizing, they open and shut meetings with a public prayer, our coffee vending machines are programmed with a “God bless” message in the digital price display for Og’s sake! I got into it a few years back with one of the “preachers” at work, he consistently didn’t pull his weight and had the balls to try and spread the gospel in everyone’s face on top of it, one day I just snapped. Screamed at him to STFU before I invoked the demons at the ACLU on his ass, informed him I would rather get written up for stopping production before I’d do any of his work ever again, good ol’ rousing argument. He went to management and the union, claiming I bodily threatened him and he was afraid. Management was more than happy to let the union handle it, their handling consisted of telling me I needed to show respect since he’s a minister after all. They sympathized with my complaints about his work style, but insisted that I should suck it up, being younger and a mere heathen female after all. I was shunned by the rest of the workers in my zone for a few monthss, whether they agreed he’s an ass or not, they all agreed I shouldn’t have yelled at a preacher. Worked for me though, preacher-man was so very threatened by me that he traded work zones with someone else to get away from me. Two years of working with this guy daily, telling him to STFU, complaining to supervisors about him not pulling his share and being told to suck it up and quit being disrespectful, two fucking years man. Sometimes STFU works, sometimes it doesn’t. ---
**Author:** ![Zabali\_Clawbane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/ecd19e/32.png) [@Zabali\_Clawbane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zabali_Clawbane)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 12:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-workplace-fundies/298895/53 "2005-04-12T12:30:58Z")
Sounds like the fundie is creating a hostile work environment, and violating the you( and the other workers) creeds. I’d report him to HR. Especially document things, like when he put his hand on you and prayed as you walked. Stand up to him, and let him know he’s in the wrong and you won’t put up with it. It seems from what you’ve said, that no one’s taken a stand and held their ground, which is why he keeps pushing the boundaries. ---
**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-workplace-fundies/298895/54 "2005-04-12T14:18:10Z")
I truly believe that when some of these fundamentalists die and go to Heaven, they’re gonna get a good bitchslap from Jesus or Peter or somebody. They’re doing way more harm than good in many instances. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-workplace-fundies/298895/55 "2005-04-12T14:20:35Z")
> [@Ca3799](#): > > The mom said she didn’t like it (Harry Potter) because it had magic in it. I pointed out that most children’s stories contain magic. She said she thought it might be violent. I asked her if she has actually read the Bible. > > I guess were not friends anymore. (yay) I wonder if she be okay with HP if he turned water into wine or raised the dead? ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-workplace-fundies/298895/56 "2005-04-12T14:26:01Z")
Buy [these Jesus & Mary dolls](http://money.cnn.com/2005/04/12/news/midcaps/jesus_dolls/index.htm?cnn=yes), and arrange them in vulgar poses on your desk. When the fundie in question pops in, make the dolls quote scripture. ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-workplace-fundies/298895/57 "2005-04-12T14:34:46Z")
Better yet, buy him these [Jesus Dress-Up fridge magnets](http://www.normalbobsmith.com/store/magnets.html) so he can play with his Savior all day long! ---
**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-workplace-fundies/298895/58 "2005-04-12T14:37:08Z")
Personally, I wonder how Jesus would do against Giant-Sized Cobra Commander (from GI-Joe)action figures. > [@Kyla](#): > > If you, the person reading this post right now, have ever felt the need to tell a non-Christian about Jesus, let me just say: we know. WE KNOW. Okay? It’s not like we’re not going to go “What? Jesus who?” You know, if I was a more patient person, it would be funny to respond as if you had never heard of Jesus before. The hank suggestion is one way to do so. It would also be funny, in my own twisted little mind to take phrases and claims literally. Stare at them like they are crazy, speak to them like they are a little child and ask why you would ever want to put your next door neighbor into the organ that pumps blood. “Now, wait, you are trying to say there is something that happens **after** you die?” The minute they start talking about taking things on faith, pretend that the concept means willfully lying to yourself and threaten to call a sanitarium. Oh, wait, these are co-workers, people you see every day. Never mind. ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-workplace-fundies/298895/59 "2005-04-12T14:49:11Z")
Actually, the Parable of the Two Sons (Matt. 21:28-32) is a useful tool to have. It’s Jesus Himself saying that what matters is not whether you talk the talk, but whether you walk the walk. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-workplace-fundies/298895/60 "2005-04-12T14:53:45Z")
Or, one could go to the Men’s Room, fill a paper cup with urine, & “baptise” his desk & chair. Start a club among your fellow employees. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-workplace-fundies/298895.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-workplace-fundies/298895.md?page=4)