# I pit workplace fundies. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 12, 2005, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-workplace-fundies/298895 "2005-04-12T01:27:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Caricci](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Caricci](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caricci)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-workplace-fundies/298895/61 "2005-04-12T15:02:23Z")
> [@Abbie Carmichael](#): > > I agree that it’s inappropriate to talk religion in the workplace. > > However I’m wondering why it’s ok for you and your coworkers to discuss porn, drinking, etc., but this lady can’t mention God. 😕 > > Doesn’t everyone where you work have, um, work to do? I wonder if those people who are talking about porn and stuff make a point of interrupting people who are talking about God? Fundie 1: Dude, Jesus is so cool. Fundie 2: I’ll say! He’s the man! Porn Fan: Guys, guys! Enough about Jesus, you should be talking about how great Tabitha Stevens looks now that she’s had the anal bleaching [I heard about this on Howard; I don’t know it for a fact.] Fundie 1: We’re not interested in that. Porn Fan: Well, you should be! Bad things will happen if you don’t watch porn, I’m warning you! ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mermaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-workplace-fundies/298895/62 "2005-04-12T15:20:10Z")
Try working in a hospital. All the nurses have an average of 4-6 years of college, the doctors maybe twice that. Not to mention the continuing education and combined centuries of practice. Medical plans of care are formulated based on scientific principles. Antibiotics are prescribed based on their specific germ killing properties. Lab work is reviewed and medications, treatments, iv fluids, etc are constantly adjusted. But when someone gets better as a result of all this accumulated knowledge and expertise people still have the nerve to say “Thank God it’s a miracle”. ---
**Author:** ![SteveG1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@SteveG1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SteveG1)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-workplace-fundies/298895/63 "2005-04-12T15:38:21Z")
> [@Rhubarb](#): > > Whenever anyone tells me that I’m going to hell because I don’t subscribe to their particular flavor of god, I just smile engagingly and say “That’s great! Save a seat on the bus for me.” And then walk away. I need to think of a catchy tune to whistle while I stroll off. Any suggestions? Highway to Hell. It’s a perfect fit 😃 ---
**Author:** ![SteveG1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@SteveG1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SteveG1)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-workplace-fundies/298895/64 "2005-04-12T15:45:28Z")
> [@Polycarp](#): > > Actually, the Parable of the Two Sons (Matt. 21:28-32) is a useful tool to have. It’s Jesus Himself saying that what matters is not whether you talk the talk, but whether you walk the walk. Problem is, according to some of these space cases, all you have to do is mouth the magic words and claim you believe, and that saves you - no matter how much of a bilious, scabrous, scurvy, filth eating, bottom dweller you continue to be. They must have missed the walk the walk part. ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-workplace-fundies/298895/65 "2005-04-12T15:48:52Z")
> [@SteveG1](#): > > Problem is, according to some of these space cases, all you have to do is mouth the magic words and claim you believe, and that saves you - no matter how much of a bilious, scabrous, scurvy, filth eating, bottom dweller you continue to be. They must have missed the walk the walk part. “Ah ain’t perfect, jest forgiven.” ---
**Author:** ![Siege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Siege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siege)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-workplace-fundies/298895/66 "2005-04-12T15:55:38Z")
> [@Polycarp](#): > > Actually, the Parable of the Two Sons (Matt. 21:28-32) is a useful tool to have. It’s Jesus Himself saying that what matters is not whether you talk the talk, but whether you walk the walk. Oh, come on, brother! Why stop there? Matthew’s got all kinds of useful stuff, including the parable of the sheep and the goats and that line about not all who say, “Lord! Lord!” will enter the kingdom of heaven. Where’s that piece I quoted in the Praise-a-Thon thread the other day? Oh yes, here it is. It’s Jesus speaking in Matthew 15:15. > [@](#): > > Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You travel over land and sea to win a single convert, and when he becomes one, you make him twice as much a son of hell as you are. Anyone for leaving a copy of that verse on the Fundamentalist’s desk? CJ ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-workplace-fundies/298895/67 "2005-04-12T16:02:12Z")
> [@The Mermaid](#): > > Try working in a hospital. All the nurses have an average of 4-6 years of college, the doctors maybe twice that. Not to mention the continuing education and combined centuries of practice. > > Medical plans of care are formulated based on scientific principles. Antibiotics are prescribed based on their specific germ killing properties. Lab work is reviewed and medications, treatments, iv fluids, etc are constantly adjusted. > > But when someone gets better as a result of all this accumulated knowledge and expertise people still have the nerve to say “Thank God it’s a miracle”. _Ding Ding Ding!!!_ Oh, YES! And it drives me crazy. Oh-never mind the balloon pump and dismiss the skill of the surgeon and team that did that open heart. Disocunt the titration of those drips or the watchful eyes of well-_me_and those like me, 24/7 --yep, go ahead, give all that glory to Jesus and to _your_ prayers–he needs more good PR. (yes, a very snarky comment, but this chaps my ass) Studies have been done that show that prayer does indeed impact positively on pt outcomes–good, we need the help. But this is directed at those folks who ignore reality and care. But worse than that…Ye, worse than the dismissal of all the people care that went into the improved prognosis… are the nurses who evangelize! Yep-happens all the time–though not where I work, thank God(hee). See, we crazy people who care for folks, we’re supposed to be non-partisan/non-judgemental etc. We’re supposed to **meet the patient or client where s/he is** --not a difficult concept, really. So, to all those HCP who insist on spreading the “gospel”–you are NOT practicing according to the principles laid out by your education/license. Just sayin’ ---
**Author:** ![peasea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/bc79bd/32.png) [@peasea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/peasea)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-workplace-fundies/298895/68 "2005-04-12T16:28:04Z")
> [@Siege](#): > > It’s Jesus speaking in Matthew 15:15. > > > [@](#): > > > > Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You travel over land and sea to win a single convert, and when he becomes one, you make him twice as much a son of hell as you are. Must be [Matthew 23:15](http://bible.gospelcom.net/passage/?search=matthew+23:15) ---
**Author:** ![asterion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4da419/32.png) [@asterion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/asterion)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-workplace-fundies/298895/69 "2005-04-12T16:37:44Z")
> [@SteveG1](#): > > Highway to Hell. It’s a perfect fit 😃 Highway to Hell isn’t a bad choice, but I think Personal Jesus is a pretty good one as well. It’d confuse them, at the very least. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-workplace-fundies/298895/70 "2005-04-12T17:47:57Z")
> [@asterion](#): > > Highway to Hell isn’t a bad choice, but I think Personal Jesus is a pretty good one as well. It’d confuse them, at the very least. Didn’t Marilyn Manson cover that? ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-workplace-fundies/298895/71 "2005-04-12T18:25:12Z")
> [@Abbie Carmichael](#): > > I agree that it’s inappropriate to talk religion in the workplace. > > However I’m wondering why it’s ok for you and your coworkers to discuss porn, drinking, etc., but this lady can’t mention God. 😕 > > Doesn’t everyone where you work have, um, work to do? Crack!!! Yeah, get back to work, ya lazy shiftless workers! Put those Abbie Carmichael brand ballgags back in place too! whaddya think we hired you for, your witty repartee! You stupid scum should be working not talking! ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-workplace-fundies/298895/72 "2005-04-12T19:56:01Z")
Reminds me of that famous phrase…something about idle hands and the devil. ---
**Author:** ![Yeticus\_Rex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/a698b9/32.png) [@Yeticus\_Rex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yeticus_Rex)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-workplace-fundies/298895/73 "2005-04-12T20:21:46Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > Yes, and that is all they are allowed to do at work. Eight hours, only work. No talking with each other. No breaks. No lunch hour. No fraternizing after work, either. When the shifts over, they have to walk out the door with their heads down, and not speak a word to each other. That’s where I’ve been going wrong with my employees…thanks for the tip. _Breaking out the whip_ Hey **Gabe** , has the fundie talked you out of our Thursday Night SDMB Poker Tournament? ---
**Author:** ![Duke\_of\_Rat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Duke\_of\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke_of_Rat)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-workplace-fundies/298895/74 "2005-04-12T20:34:05Z")
> [@Yeticus Rex](#): > > Hey **Gabe** , has the fundie talked you out of our Thursday Night SDMB Poker Tournament? Who was it last week that kept ending up on $666?? Nanook? But we might have seen a miracle, x-ray won a game 🙂 So come cast your lots with us sinners! Play along as we hurl epithets at each other! ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-workplace-fundies/298895/75 "2005-04-12T20:35:31Z")
Back when I was working for the company I’ll only identify as [EDS](http://www.eds.com/index.aspx), an anonymous complainant sent word through the grapevine that she was offended by the Satanic literature I had on my desk. The book in question was [The Demon Haunted World](http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0345409469/qid=1113337511/sr=8-1/ref=pd_csp_1/103-4154039-6538246?v=glance&s=books&n=507846), which is no more Satanic than _Cosmos_ or any of Sagan’s other works (I’m guessing she saw the word Demon and what she thought was Sa[t]an as the author). My boss, who was not a Fundie but was such an asskissing mongoloid that he kept a picture of himself holding his boss’s baby son on his desk, reminded me of the policy that “we aren’t supposed to have any books on our desk”, to which I responded calmly that there were books ranging from Bibles to Grisham to Harry Potter everywhere in the center- employees kept them there for their lunch and coffee breaks and nobody had ever enforced the policy and that if I were to be made privy to it then by God everyone was. He basically dropped it, and of course I brought in my copy of _The Encyclopedia of Witchcraft and Demonology_ shortly after. There was a _Multicultural Fair_ at one point (like most companies EDS wanted to have their name connected with _diversity_ whenever possible, showing that they were equally accessible to Southern Baptists, Missionary Baptists, Hardshell Baptists, etc.). A Hindu employee (who was a super sweet lady and spoke English better than most of the native Alabamians) set up a booth with various idols from her religion, and while nobody complained they conspicuously avoided the exhibit like they were bypassing Samaria, one making a comment about how she thought “Bhuddy-ism and Hindy-ism was illegal”. (If you ever had major problems with your Federal student loans [which is what this account processed], you may now know why). Several males loved to talk about their membership in Promise Keepers and would try to proselytize to other married men; they were unbelievably self-righteous about it. They began some type of workplace chapter or whatever of that. One day they were semi=harassing an older Hispanic man (who was Christian and who usually wore a cross) about joining them and he responded something to the effect of “I have never once needed any organization to _remind_ me that I am supposed to love and respect my wife and kids and I think anybody who does need it’s not much of a husband and a father”. Major silence, though the ovation in my mind must surely have been audible. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-workplace-fundies/298895/76 "2005-04-12T20:41:53Z")
Oh oh oh… forgot to mention- a petition went around via e-mail when EDS elected to offer same-sex partners medical benefits. Sentences included “Do you know how much it would cost our medical funds to have to pay for AIDS treatments?” Other gay employees and I quickly edited the copy we received with statistics for costs associated with childbirth, children’s illnesses, and other items that we queers paid for just as much as those with families paid for our “AIDS treatments” (nobody there was HIV+ or had a partner who was to my knowledge, and in fact the only employees I know of who took advantage of the same sex benefits were lesbians [the lowest risk group for HIV infection]). To the credit of EDS, they sent out an e-mail memo stating that the decision was final, it would not be changed by a petition\*, and any further furthering of the “stop same sex benefits” e-mail would result in disciplinary action. \*At the time EDS was opening several accounts in San Francisco and extending the benefits throughout the company was part of an agreement with the city (these were megabucks accounts). ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-workplace-fundies/298895/77 "2005-04-12T20:42:02Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > Several males loved to talk about their membership in Promise Keepers and would try to proselytize to other married men; they were unbelievably self-righteous about it. They began some type of workplace chapter or whatever of that. One day they were semi=harassing an older Hispanic man (who was Christian and who usually wore a cross) about joining them and he responded something to the effect of “I have never once needed any organization to _remind_ me that I am supposed to love and respect my wife and kids and I think anybody who does need it’s not much of a husband and a father”. Major silence, though the ovation in my mind must surely have been audible. _Sniff_ That was…beautiful. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-workplace-fundies/298895/78 "2005-04-12T20:44:30Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > and of course I brought in my copy of _The Encyclopedia of Witchcraft and Demonology_ shortly after. > \ > > “I have never once needed any organization to _remind_ me that I am supposed to love and respect my wife and kids and I think anybody who does need it’s not much of a husband and a father”. Major silence, though the ovation in my mind must surely have been audible. I think you and this Hispanic guy are my new heroes…way to go! ---
**Author:** ![Lissa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lissa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissa)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-workplace-fundies/298895/79 "2005-04-12T21:50:56Z")
> [@eleanorigby](#): > > _Ding Ding Ding!!!_ > > Oh, YES! And it drives me crazy. Oh-never mind the balloon pump and dismiss the skill of the surgeon and team that did that open heart. Disocunt the titration of those drips or the watchful eyes of well-_me_and those like me, 24/7 --yep, go ahead, give all that glory to Jesus and to _your_ prayers–he needs more good PR. (yes, a very snarky comment, but this chaps my ass) > Studies have been done that show that prayer does indeed impact positively on pt outcomes–good, we need the help. But this is directed at those folks who ignore reality and care. > > But worse than that…Ye, worse than the dismissal of all the people care that went into the improved prognosis… are the nurses who evangelize! > > Yep-happens all the time–though not where I work, thank God(hee). > > See, we crazy people who care for folks, we’re supposed to be non-partisan/non-judgemental etc. We’re supposed to **meet the patient or client where s/he is** --not a difficult concept, really. > > So, to all those HCP who insist on spreading the “gospel”–you are NOT practicing according to the principles laid out by your education/license. > > Just sayin’ The next time a hospital is being sued for malpractice they should invoke the “will of God” defense and claim the family just did not pray hard enough. I have always found it odd that God is praised with all the good stuff, but never blamed for the bad. ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-workplace-fundies/298895/80 "2005-04-12T21:51:11Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > My boss, who was not a Fundie but was such an asskissing mongoloid that he kept a picture of himself holding his boss’s baby son on his desk, reminded me of the policy that “ **we aren’t supposed to have any books on our desk** ”, Er, what? I will be dipped in s\*\*t. This just boggles my mind. This is worse than the time when I was sent to the principal’s office for “reading during Reading”. We’ve got them here, and they’re thicker than November molassas. We’ve got Adventists from Loma Linda, Church of Christers from Riverside, and whoknowswhat Pentacostalist splinter faction from places I don’t even want to think about. We have a guy who sounds and acts like Bernico Del Toro’s character from _21 Grams_, including the entire line of Jesusware and auto accessories. The worst, though, are the born-again proselytizers who keep bugging me to come to their lunch Bible study. “Hey, you coming to study? God loves you, you just need to find him in your heart. You don’t want to go to Hell a sinner, do you?” It’s so bloody condenscending its makes me ill. It doesn’t help that I grew up in redneck Pentacostalist paradise (Hi, John Ashcroft) and was excluded for rejecting the fundie attitudes and beliefs of my mother and our neighbors. It just brings all that crap back every time someone starts haranging me about religion. Look, at work, you keep your witnessing to yourself, and I won’t disabuse you of your ignorance on evolution. 'Kay? Stranger [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-workplace-fundies/298895.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-workplace-fundies/298895.md?page=5)