# I pit you, asshole houseguest! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 25, 2004, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-you-asshole-houseguest/256836 "2004-07-25T19:41:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![malkavia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malkavia/32/5621_2.png) [@malkavia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/malkavia)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2004, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-you-asshole-houseguest/256836/21 "2004-07-26T04:07:15Z")
> [@FinnAgain](#): > > **Malkavia** : Sharing a house with lesbians wouldn’t have helped, as this was an invited guest. Be wary! This could happen to you! ~ominous music and thunder~ > > On a side note, is your screenname from Clan Malkavian? True. I just can’t imagine them inviting a male houseguest over. They have a hard enough time dealing with the fact that my fiance’ lives here. “BLECH, BOY COOTIES!” Heh. If it DID happen to me, however, I’d definitely fling the snotbag right at his filthy, sleeping face. And yeah, it’s taken from V:tM. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2004, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-you-asshole-houseguest/256836/22 "2004-07-26T05:37:51Z")
> [@FinnAgain](#): > > **CanvasShoes** : Yes… ewwwwwwwwwww indeed. Did I mention that the condom was discolored by blood along with his filthy idiot seed? Oh blech, that is just, raised by wolves, heinously stupid and rude. ---
**Author:** ![AngelicGemma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/439d5e/32.png) [@AngelicGemma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelicGemma)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2004, 10:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-you-asshole-houseguest/256836/23 "2004-07-26T10:22:22Z")
That’s just _nasty_! ---
**Author:** ![MidnightRadio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecd19e/32.png) [@MidnightRadio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MidnightRadio)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2004, 11:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-you-asshole-houseguest/256836/24 "2004-07-26T11:52:30Z")
> [@NurseCarmen](#): > > That’s just nasty. Anyone else hear this said with Cleveland’s (from “Family Guy”) voice? ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2004, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-you-asshole-houseguest/256836/25 "2004-07-26T20:01:17Z")
**malkavia** : That may be the solution… maybe if I can convince my bi roommate to become a lesbian, then she too will become scared of boy cooties. (And I’ve always liked the Lasombra, Gangrel, and Assamites) **CanvasShoes** : That’s part of what I don’t get… my mom never told me not to leave used condoms on my hosts’ counters… I didn’t need to be told… How on earth is that not just common sense? I mean, surely even wolves would kick your ass for soiling their domain. **AngelicGemma** : I think that’s pretty much the definition of nasty… 1. a. Disgustingly dirty. b. Physically repellent. 2. Morally offensive; indecent. See Synonyms at offensive. 3. Malicious; spiteful: “Will he say nasty things at my funeral?” (Ezra Pound). 4. Very unpleasant or annoying: nasty weather; a nasty trick. **MidnightRadio** [Cleveland]that’s what the french call le terrible [/cleveland] ---
**Author:** ![Martiju](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e8c25b/32.png) [@Martiju](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martiju)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2004, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-you-asshole-houseguest/256836/26 "2004-07-27T13:30:42Z")
My guess is that he went in to take a piss, started, then realised he had it on still. Only thing to do was whip it off and put it on the counter (after all, he wouldn’t want to block your toilet with a used cocksack would he?). Of course, that probably means that apart from some blood and cum, you might well have had the unique opportunity of mopping some piss too… sweet dreams… ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2004, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-you-asshole-houseguest/256836/27 "2004-07-27T16:58:24Z")
> [@Martiju](#): > > My guess is that he went in to take a piss, started, then realised he had it on still. Only thing to do was whip it off and put it on the counter (after all, he wouldn’t want to block your toilet with a used cocksack would he?). Seeing as how there is a garbage can no more than six inches to the right of our toilet, I’d have to quetsion the counter as the prefered place to deposit his snotbag. > [@Martiju](#): > > Of course, that probably means that apart from some blood and cum, you might well have had the unique opportunity of mopping some piss too… > > sweet dreams… Well… at least urine is sterile. ---
**Author:** ![Cerri](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3bc359/32.png) [@Cerri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cerri)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2004, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-you-asshole-houseguest/256836/28 "2004-07-27T22:28:28Z")
I’d have put dishwashing gloves on, picked it up and force-fed it to him after he ignored the note, but then again, I’m well known to be a vindictive bitch when you (figuratively) shit on me or my hospitality repeatedly. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2004, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-you-asshole-houseguest/256836/29 "2004-07-29T02:15:48Z")
And to think that someone actually had sex with this guy. . . ---
**Author:** ![Sinshine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f04885/32.png) [@Sinshine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sinshine)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2004, 7:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-you-asshole-houseguest/256836/30 "2004-07-29T07:12:54Z")
Ick. Just … ick. Good on you for kicking his ass outta town. I’m impressed that you said nothing over the bragging started, too. My big mouth would have called his whole manliness into question over that. But then, my mouth goes into Bitch Gear a lot faster than my brain goes into Damage Control. ---
**Author:** ![ouryL](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ouryl/32/6067_2.png) [@ouryL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ouryL)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2004, 7:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-you-asshole-houseguest/256836/31 "2004-07-29T07:26:55Z")
> [@whiterabbit](#): > > Damn. I wouldn’t leave a used condom on my own counter, let alone someone else’s. How disgusting! :rolleyes: Yes, they should be left under the bed. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![ouryL](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ouryl/32/6067_2.png) [@ouryL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ouryL)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2004, 7:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-you-asshole-houseguest/256836/32 "2004-07-29T07:29:37Z")
> [@FinnAgain](#): > > **CanvasShoes** : Yes… ewwwwwwwwwww indeed. Did I mention that the condom was discolored by blood along with his filthy idiot seed? > > **trandallt** : I’m generally a very easy going kinda guy, and in part due to a rough childhood I really hate getting angry. There’s also the fact that when I _do_ get angry, I freakin’ loose it, big time. > > I was ready to drag his ass out of bed at four in the morning, hand him some cleaning supplies, then throw him out and his belongings after him. As it is, I just had **Nevermore** , whose friend he is, call him and tell him to get out of our home by 9:00 am, sharp. > > I couldn’t even stay in the apartment because I knew I’d end up screaming my head off at him and physically throwing his ass out if he resisted leaving. I went to UT campus till 8:30 am at which point I returned and pointedly ignoring him, went into my room, and locked the door. > > He had the good sense not to knock on my door. > (and I think he has the good sense not to even try asking to stay in my home again) > > **NurseCarmen** Yes, yes it is. > > **whiterabbit** I don’t even understand _how_ it could have happened. I assume he wasn’t smart enough to keep some tissues in ‘his’ room in order to wad up any used condoms before immediately throwing them away… (not to mention the used condoms he left on the floor of ‘his’ room, oh-so-cleverly tucked into their wrappers. ) > > ~shivers~ Good gods… now I’ve got a mental picture of him walking down the hallway, naked except for a condom and, leisurely, removing his condom and placing it on the counter for safe keeping, or maybe a midnight snack if he needed more protein… or maybe he just thought that ‘stale cum and blood’ is a decorating choice I’d have made on my own. > > Why the fuck didn’t he throw it out! We do keep a garbage in the bathroom. He must be an anal compulsive 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2004, 8:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-you-asshole-houseguest/256836/33 "2004-07-29T08:14:56Z")
Maybe he meant it as installation art. I took a couple of art classes in college, and I could totally see some of the grad students I worked with thinking such an installation was _brilliant_. ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2004, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-you-asshole-houseguest/256836/34 "2004-07-29T21:28:16Z")
**Cerri** : Funny you should mention that… I see about as much justification for leaving a used condom on my counter as taking a shit in my living room. And interesting… stuffing his snotbag in his face seems to be a very popular theme. **Muffin** : I suppose that even loudmouthed obnoxious rude inconsiderate 20 year old virgins get lucky every now and again… (if it helps, her eyes were downright bovine) **Sinshine** : It was more subtle bragging… like asking where-oh-where could one buy condoms when there are no fewer than two all night convenience stores no less than a block from my front door. Or oh-were-we-making-too-much-noise-last-night? That sorta thing… I just kinda rolled my eyes. And thanks… I don’t know why I deserve ‘props’ though… it was just a natural “throw the dumb fuck, who abused my hospitality, out of my home.” reaction. **ouryL** : at the risk of sounding dumb… anal compulsive? I don’t get it… **CrazyCatLady** Thank you. Now at least I know never to invite any art grad students into my home P.S. Installation art? What’s that? ---
**Author:** ![GaWd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f08c70/32.png) [@GaWd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GaWd)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2004, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-you-asshole-houseguest/256836/35 "2004-07-29T21:51:50Z")
Installation art? LoL As someone who just completed an excruciatingly painful art course in college, Installation art is art that is permanently(more or less) installed in the viewing site. Like murals, and architecture and like, huge, ugly-ass paintings on walls, or wooden blocks bolted to a wall. Sam ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2004, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-you-asshole-houseguest/256836/36 "2004-07-30T03:42:13Z")
**GaWd** : Thanks Sam… I guess I should be glad that he wasn’t an art student, and didn’t have crazy glue :eek: ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2004, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-you-asshole-houseguest/256836/37 "2004-07-30T17:42:12Z")
Yes, installation is something that’s not meant to be moved around easily. The statues that they put up in the local park, that’s installation art. The ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, that’s installation art. Once you get into modern art, installations can get pretty weird. There’s one really famous bit of installation that we discussed in my sculpture class that was a urinal bolted to the gallery wall. (I don’t even pretend to understand, although it was explained at great length. Something about forcing us to look at what we consider private or something, I dunno.) In that vein, I could certainly see some of them proclaiming the brilliance of a blood-smeared condom on the countertop. ---
**Author:** ![Spiff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiff/32/9852_2.png) [@Spiff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiff)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2004, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-you-asshole-houseguest/256836/38 "2004-08-02T17:26:17Z")
If you were \*laying \* in bed, then you were doing the nasty, too. 🙂 \*Lying \* is what you were shooting for, I suspect … [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-you-asshole-houseguest/256836.md?page=1)