# I pit you, customers that think money fraud is funny. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 7, 2006, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-you-customers-that-think-money-fraud-is-funny/351660 "2006-04-07T01:46:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Surbey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4491bb/32.png) [@Surbey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Surbey)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2006, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-you-customers-that-think-money-fraud-is-funny/351660/1 "2006-04-07T01:46:18Z")
I am so tired of customers coming into my gas station and joking about currency fraud. They will pay with a 50 or a 100 dollar bill. Naturally I do the ink test and the watermark check. Almost everytime, without fail, they say something along the lines of **"Its good. I just printed it this morning."** When the hell did it become so funny to tell cashiers that you just printed a bunch of fake money and they are about to accept it. People really do that. I don’t write a check and yell “boiiing, bounce bounce bounce!” If you do this to cashiers, you should be stop. The joke isn’t appreciated. ---
**Author:** ![Muad\_Dib](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/35a633/32.png) [@Muad\_Dib](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muad_Dib)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2006, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-you-customers-that-think-money-fraud-is-funny/351660/2 "2006-04-07T02:06:39Z")
What are you really griping about? The joke, or that you hear the same damned joke so often? ---
**Author:** ![Cheesesteak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheesesteak/32/3694_2.png) [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2006, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-you-customers-that-think-money-fraud-is-funny/351660/3 "2006-04-07T02:09:36Z")
You’re really missing out on a chance to screw with them. “You printed it? I’m sorry sir, I can’t take counterfeit money, you’ll need to pay with a credit card or take fresh money from our $2 per transaction ATM.” Wait for the pissed off / ashen look. “Gotcha Ya!” Don’t forget the wink and pistol action with the hand, kapow! ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2006, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-you-customers-that-think-money-fraud-is-funny/351660/4 "2006-04-07T02:17:20Z")
If I were to pay with a $50 or $100, I expect them to test it. What happens to me is, I take some twenties out of the ATM which is located about six feet from the register, and the clerk does the ink test on the nice crisp bills she just saw me take out of the ATM. In that case sorry, but you have to put up with my “it’s ok, I just printed it” joke. ---
**Author:** ![Surbey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4491bb/32.png) [@Surbey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Surbey)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2006, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-you-customers-that-think-money-fraud-is-funny/351660/5 "2006-04-07T02:21:59Z")
I’m mad about the joke. I’m mostly mad because people think they are being funny with something that really isn’t humourous anyway you look at it. Trust me, my sense of humor is huge. I appreciate a broad variety, from dry British to blue color. But this joke, I just dont get. It would be different if I only heard it once in a life time. But for a joke that isn’t funny, it sure gets told alot. ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2006, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-you-customers-that-think-money-fraud-is-funny/351660/6 "2006-04-07T02:23:04Z")
Oh man, I hate this joke. It only takes hearing it a couple times a day to make you hate it. It’s right up there with “I get that free, right” when prices don’t come up or the scanner doesn’t work right. ---
**Author:** ![Surbey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4491bb/32.png) [@Surbey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Surbey)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2006, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-you-customers-that-think-money-fraud-is-funny/351660/7 "2006-04-07T02:23:47Z")
[QUOTE=levdrakon] If I were to pay with a $50 or $100, I expect them to test it. What happens to me is, I take some twenties out of the ATM which is located about six feet from the register, and the clerk does the ink test on the nice crisp bills she just saw me take out of the ATM. In that case sorry, but you have to put up with my “it’s ok, I just printed it” joke. [/QUOTE] Some places its policy to mark 20’s as well. She might get in trouble if she doesn’t mark them, even though she saw you at the atm. But that might be an explanation for her actions. She might just be stupid too, who knows. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2006, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-you-customers-that-think-money-fraud-is-funny/351660/8 "2006-04-07T02:29:21Z")
[QUOTE=Cheesesteak] You’re really missing out on a chance to screw with them. “You printed it? I’m sorry sir, I can’t take counterfeit money, you’ll need to pay with a credit card or take fresh money from our $2 per transaction ATM.” Wait for the pissed off / ashen look. “Gotcha Ya!” Don’t forget the wink and pistol action with the hand, kapow! [/QUOTE] That is the way to go. All it takes is a deadpan stop and a very serious look. Reply “This here bill is conterfeited and you say you did it yourself?” Just stop and stare at the bill and scrutinize it more and more no matter what they say. Go crazy with the conterfeit detector pen and draw odd little shapes while yelling “Ah Hah” and then do it again. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2006, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-you-customers-that-think-money-fraud-is-funny/351660/9 "2006-04-07T02:37:29Z")
It could be worse. They could be asking you if you’re working hard or hardly working. ---
**Author:** ![askeptic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eb9ed0/32.png) [@askeptic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/askeptic)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2006, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-you-customers-that-think-money-fraud-is-funny/351660/10 "2006-04-07T02:53:17Z")
It could be worse they could be humorless counter monkeys who get surley when you attempt to make polite chit chat. That would really suck. ---
**Author:** ![Harborwolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Harborwolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harborwolf)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2006, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-you-customers-that-think-money-fraud-is-funny/351660/11 "2006-04-07T03:04:45Z")
Sounds like somebody has a case of the Mondays. What’s really scary is that they’ve got it on a Thursday. ---
**Author:** ![Nanoda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ce73a5/32.png) [@Nanoda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nanoda)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2006, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-you-customers-that-think-money-fraud-is-funny/351660/12 "2006-04-07T03:16:28Z")
[QUOTE=askeptic] It could be worse they could be humorless counter monkeys who get surley when you attempt to make polite chit chat. That would really suck. [/QUOTE] No kidding; I had no idea I was being such a bore. ☹ I only worked a gas station counter for two weeks, but customers like that wouldn’t rate even a mention compared to the others. If I _did_ eventually get tired of it, I’d just look really close and say “Oh yes! See this here?” Customer: :eek: :dubious: 😕 Me: “Oh wait, that’s nothing.” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2006, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-you-customers-that-think-money-fraud-is-funny/351660/13 "2006-04-07T03:20:21Z")
[QUOTE=Cheesesteak] Don’t forget the wink and pistol action with the hand, kapow! [/QUOTE] That’s not funny. Too many people are needlessly killed everyday with handguns. ---
**Author:** ![Surbey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4491bb/32.png) [@Surbey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Surbey)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2006, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-you-customers-that-think-money-fraud-is-funny/351660/14 "2006-04-07T03:25:12Z")
[QUOTE=askeptic] It could be worse they could be humorless counter monkeys who get surley when you attempt to make polite chit chat. That would really suck. [/QUOTE] I’m not a humorless counter monkey. I appreciate all humor. I just don’t think this is funny. I don’t know how anyone ever got the idea that was a funny joke. Or atleast good chit chat material. I love chit chat. Ask **The Surb** , I can’t shut my mouth sometimes. I can talk to customers about all kinds of things. I just don’t like this kind of joke. I would suppose its the same kind of thing when a Cop is searching a guy and the guy playfully says “Yeah, go ahead, stick your hand in my pocket. I bet you won’t get poked” or if you ask a woman at a club “Hey, are you going to be walking out to your car alone tonight?” ---
**Author:** ![Otanx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Otanx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otanx)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2006, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-you-customers-that-think-money-fraud-is-funny/351660/15 "2006-04-07T03:34:58Z")
[QUOTE=Surbey] I don’t write a check and yell “boiiing, bounce bounce bounce!” [/QUOTE] Now I got to do this next time I use a check. Too bad I don’t use checks. Will have to make an exception so I can say this. Do I get bonus points for jumping up and down too? -Otanx ---
**Author:** ![askeptic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eb9ed0/32.png) [@askeptic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/askeptic)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2006, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-you-customers-that-think-money-fraud-is-funny/351660/16 "2006-04-07T03:36:13Z")
BTW, a good word for “money fraud” at least in the way you meant it is coun·ter·feit ---
**Author:** ![Surbey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4491bb/32.png) [@Surbey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Surbey)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2006, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-you-customers-that-think-money-fraud-is-funny/351660/17 "2006-04-07T03:42:17Z")
[QUOTE=askeptic] BTW, a good word for “money fraud” at least in the way you meant it is coun·ter·feit [/QUOTE] Thank you Mr. Rogers. Glad someone is here to make me a better person. ---
**Author:** ![askeptic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eb9ed0/32.png) [@askeptic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/askeptic)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2006, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-you-customers-that-think-money-fraud-is-funny/351660/18 "2006-04-07T03:54:27Z")
[QUOTE=Surbey] Thank you Mr. Rogers. Glad someone is here to make me a better person. [/QUOTE] Hey, at least I’m not a grouchy asshole. ---
**Author:** ![Go\_You\_Big\_Red\_Fire\_Engine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/eada6e/32.png) [@Go\_You\_Big\_Red\_Fire\_Engine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Go_You_Big_Red_Fire_Engine)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2006, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-you-customers-that-think-money-fraud-is-funny/351660/19 "2006-04-07T03:55:22Z")
Enlighten a foreigner here, why do you have to check the money? Is it easily/commonly counterfeited? ---
**Author:** ![Surbey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4491bb/32.png) [@Surbey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Surbey)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2006, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-you-customers-that-think-money-fraud-is-funny/351660/20 "2006-04-07T04:05:25Z")
[QUOTE=Go You Big Red Fire Engine] Enlighten a foreigner here, why do you have to check the money? Is it easily/commonly counterfeited? [/QUOTE] Very much so. Some people print their own, thus the ink will show if its fake. Others will was out a 5 dollar bill and put a 100 on it. Thus the water mark. No matter how well you wash out a 5 dollar bill, Abe Lincoln’s picture just won’t go away. well, if we are just gonna resort to name calling , **askeptic** , then you’re a poop head. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-you-customers-that-think-money-fraud-is-funny/351660.md?page=2)