# I Pit You Pregnant Lady **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 18, 2006, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-you-pregnant-lady/345034 "2006-02-18T00:19:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2006, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-you-pregnant-lady/345034/61 "2006-02-19T01:38:45Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > “Excuse me, but would you stop rubbing your fertility in our faces?” Ew, did anyone else just go to a really nasty mental place? ---
**Author:** ![Susie\_Derkins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47774/32.png) [@Susie\_Derkins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Susie_Derkins)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2006, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-you-pregnant-lady/345034/62 "2006-02-19T01:44:33Z")
Yes, yes I did (victory fist). ---
**Author:** ![FaerieBeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e95f7d/32.png) [@FaerieBeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FaerieBeth)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2006, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-you-pregnant-lady/345034/63 "2006-02-19T02:00:33Z")
Just thinking out loud here, but perhaps on the last night of class, in celebration of completion, you could make a (victory fist), too…and “accidentally” punch her in the mouth? Bonus points if you can manage to cover your fist in melted chocolate and coffee grounds. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2006, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-you-pregnant-lady/345034/64 "2006-02-19T02:36:06Z")
> [@furnishesq](#): > > (The Pregnant woman\* actually sang\* I don’t have to do this, I don’t have to do this!") (victory fist)\ Oh, that is so not cool. If it makes you feel any better, if there is any justice/karma in the world, she is sowing big time. Actually, if she says something like that again, you could very calmly and politely say, “Well, we do, so would you mind sitting down and letting the instructor continue?” ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2006, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-you-pregnant-lady/345034/65 "2006-02-19T02:59:06Z")
> [@](#): > > 1. The infertile couples in our class had to fill out a special form in which they basically were testing if we were going to freak out and treat adopted kids like shit because they were not our biological kids > > (The Pregnant woman actually sang I don’t have to do this, I don’t have to do this!") (victory fist) See, this makes no sense to me—of any of you–SHE and her spouse should be the ones having to do this–they are the ones having a biological child. IMO, either talk to her after class soon or when she goes off, have some snarky remark ready to share with the whole class. Can’t say what that would be, but dayum–she needs bitch slapping, bad! ---
**Author:** ![TVeblen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@TVeblen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVeblen)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2006, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-you-pregnant-lady/345034/66 "2006-02-19T03:36:43Z")
> [@eleanorigby](#): > > IMO, either talk to her after class soon or when she goes off, have some snarky remark ready to share with the whole class. Can’t say what that would be, but dayum–she needs bitch slapping, bad! Since she’s made such a public production of her callousness, I’d recommend going for a public response. It doesn’t have to bitchy. In fact, icy politeness often cuts deeper. How about something like, “We congratulated you decently on your pregnancy. Since the rest of this group still struggles with the effects of infertility, perhaps you might show simple decency in return by not causing us additional pain.” Say it with a cold, dead-level stare right in her eyes. Don’t let up; if she squirms, good. If she tries to bluster or make excuses, just clip off something like, “You have already said entirely too much.” Then forcibly change the subject. Smile and ask another group member something. If she tries to return to it, pointedly ignore that she’s even speaking. As far as you’re concerned, she’s not even in the room so you couldn’t possibly hear her running her mouth. If she tries another gloat, just cut her off with, “That remark wasn’t helpful or kind.” If she’s embarrassed, good. She acted like a bitch. She doesn’t have some weird right to make everyone else uncomfortable. Good luck and give her hell. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2006, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-you-pregnant-lady/345034/67 "2006-02-19T03:48:56Z")
Memo to self: NEVER piss off **TVeblen**. \ Going on contraception as we speak… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2006, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-you-pregnant-lady/345034/68 "2006-02-19T03:56:43Z")
I’m not even female, and I just put in an IUD out of fear. ---
**Author:** ![shamrock227](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@shamrock227](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shamrock227)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2006, 6:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-you-pregnant-lady/345034/69 "2006-02-19T06:32:07Z")
> [@furnishesq](#): > > (The Pregnant woman\* actually sang\* I don’t have to do this, I don’t have to do this!") (victory fist) What. An. Asshole. Hopefully, this woman will NEVER be able to adopt so much as a puppy for the rest of her life and her child (victory fist) is an absolute hellion. I am not very good at confrontation and probably wouldn’t be able to say anything directly to her. This, however, does not stop me from being a totally evil bitch. Right now, I’d pulling out my chocolate cookbook. I think chocolate chocolate chip brownies with mocha frosting sounds good for this week, right? Bring it in singing “I’m a chocoholic” (victory fist) (for the final week I’d suggest you go to your local party shop and rent one of those chocolate fountains)… ---
**Author:** ![zoogirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b9bd4f/32.png) [@zoogirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoogirl)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2006, 7:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-you-pregnant-lady/345034/70 "2006-02-19T07:36:58Z")
Here’s a thought, just for the heck of it. I’m probably totally wrong, of course… She’s not real. “Huh?!” you say? I mean she’s a plant. Planted. Dropped into class to test your reactions. Not adopting, not even pregnant. I think the folks running the class dreamed her up to see how you all would deal with someone waving a biological child in your face. Would you freak out? Have a crying fit? Make it obvious that her “real” child was better than your prospective adopted child? She’s a test. Possible? ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2006, 9:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-you-pregnant-lady/345034/71 "2006-02-19T09:10:31Z")
> [@zoogirl](#): > > Here’s a thought, just for the heck of it. I’m probably totally wrong, of course… > > She’s not real. > > “Huh?!” you say? I mean she’s a plant. Planted. Dropped into class to test your reactions. Not adopting, not even pregnant. I think the folks running the class dreamed her up to see how you all would deal with someone waving a biological child in your face. Would you freak out? Have a crying fit? Make it obvious that her “real” child was better than your prospective adopted child? She’s a test. > > Possible? I had the same thought actually **zoogirl**. This woman’s behaviour is just so outrageously over the top (coupled with the fact that the class-facilitators have not nipped it in the bud) that I feel she can only be some sort of warped _plant_…but exactly what function it fulfills, I’m not quite sure. Either that or you are part of some sort of weird new reality show that you didn’t sign up for. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Carrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f0a364/32.png) [@Captain\_Carrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Carrot)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2006, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-you-pregnant-lady/345034/72 "2006-02-19T17:57:28Z")
> [@Birdmonster](#): > > May I say “fuck that bitch”? See, that’s what started this whole thing in the first place… ---
**Author:** ![furt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/439d5e/32.png) [@furt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furt)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2006, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-you-pregnant-lady/345034/73 "2006-02-19T18:20:28Z")
This may be seen as sexist by some, but if I were your husband, I’d say something to her husband. If you speak to her about it, the claws will come out. ---
**Author:** ![PinkMarabou](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ec9cab/32.png) [@PinkMarabou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PinkMarabou)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2006, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-you-pregnant-lady/345034/74 "2006-02-19T19:04:40Z")
> [@TVeblen](#): > > Since she’s made such a public production of her callousness, I’d recommend going for a public response. It doesn’t have to bitchy. In fact, icy politeness often cuts deeper. > > How about something like, “We congratulated you decently on your pregnancy. Since the rest of this group still struggles with the effects of infertility, perhaps you might show simple decency in return by not causing us additional pain.” > > Say it with a cold, dead-level stare right in her eyes. Don’t let up; if she squirms, good. If she tries to bluster or make excuses, just clip off something like, “You have already said entirely too much.” Then forcibly change the subject. Smile and ask another group member something. If she tries to return to it, pointedly ignore that she’s even speaking. As far as you’re concerned, she’s not even in the room so you couldn’t possibly hear her running her mouth. > > If she tries another gloat, just cut her off with, “That remark wasn’t helpful or kind.” If she’s embarrassed, good. She acted like a bitch. She doesn’t have some weird right to make everyone else uncomfortable. > > Good luck and give her hell. This is the absolute best way to handle this. Swallow your pride and do this. And record it please, I would love to see the look on her face. I also third (or fourth, or however many it is) bringing in the most rich, chocolate dessert you can find. Maybe a 7-layer chocolate cake drizzled with chocolate sundae sauce. Then with each bite, groan loudly how good it is, maybe throw in the victory fist every now and then (but you have to mock the way she does it exactly for the best effect). You could also ask the entire class to go out with you and your husband for espresso afterwards. Keep us updated on what you do. ---
**Author:** ![TVeblen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@TVeblen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVeblen)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2006, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-you-pregnant-lady/345034/75 "2006-02-19T19:30:54Z")
> [@eleanorigby](#): > > \ 😃 Never could abide a bully. To _really_ cut this wench right at the knees, **furnishesq** could always go the Dorothy Parker route: at the next baby-gloat, “Give the poor child up for adoption to wolves. They’d be better role models.” More seriously, whether she’s a plant or just spectacularly bitchy, she needs to shut up. The contents of her womb don’t give her a license to be obnoxious. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2006, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-you-pregnant-lady/345034/76 "2006-02-19T19:46:32Z")
> [@zoogirl](#): > > She’s not real. > > “Huh?!” you say? I mean she’s a plant. Planted. Dropped into class to test your reactions. Not adopting, not even pregnant. I think the folks running the class dreamed her up to see how you all would deal with someone waving a biological child in your face. Would you freak out? Have a crying fit? Make it obvious that her “real” child was better than your prospective adopted child? She’s a test. That’s an interesting thought. Is this something you can bring up with the facilitators at the end? Either she was a plant, or the facilitator didn’t have the balls to stop her obnoxious behavior. I’d be curious to hear their explanation. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2006, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-you-pregnant-lady/345034/77 "2006-02-20T02:03:41Z")
I never had to go through this stuff when adopting a Labrador puppy (victory fist)! Seriously, any comeback to this woman that is not calm and polite has the potential to rebound on the confronter. A firm but polite one-time response followed by ignoring the person completely is the best idea. And if it is any consolation, all the negative vibrations being beamed her way by the rest of the group should ensure that her eventual offspring resembles something out of a Hieronymus Bosch painting. ---
**Author:** ![lisacurl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/41988e/32.png) [@lisacurl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lisacurl)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2006, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-you-pregnant-lady/345034/78 "2006-02-20T03:10:33Z")
> [@furnishesq](#): > > 1. She is in the very early (month to two month) stage of her pregnancy She’s \*really \* tempting fate, isn’t she? ---
**Author:** ![xcheopis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/bc8723/32.png) [@xcheopis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xcheopis)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2006, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-you-pregnant-lady/345034/79 "2006-02-20T03:55:35Z")
> [@TVeblen](#): > > 😃 > > Never could abide a bully. > > To _really_ cut this wench right at the knees, **furnishesq** could always go the Dorothy Parker route: at the next baby-gloat, “Give the poor child up for adoption to wolves. They’d be better role models.” > . Cave-dwelling wolves from Mars, even. ---
**Author:** ![furnishesq](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/977dab/32.png) [@furnishesq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furnishesq)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2006, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-you-pregnant-lady/345034/80 "2006-02-21T00:30:12Z")
Great advice guys! I will let everyone know how week 7 of this class goes. Good theory about her being a plant used by the teachers to gauge our reactions – but it is painfully obvious she is not. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-you-pregnant-lady/345034.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-pit-you-pregnant-lady/345034.md?page=5)