# I Prepare to Kill. So Much for ''Never Again'' **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 10, 2008, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-prepare-to-kill-so-much-for-never-again/455934 "2008-07-10T02:56:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2008, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-prepare-to-kill-so-much-for-never-again/455934/41 "2008-07-10T16:23:04Z")
[QUOTE=Scylla] After thousands of years men still sing songs of Achilles and what his wrath wrought. I will give the groundhogs something to sing about. [/QUOTE] Sic the blimp on 'em. Or go get one of the larger remote control helicopters. Attach razor blades to the ends of the rotors. Dive, swoosh, shave their hairy little butts all the way up to their ears. ---
**Author:** ![gonzomax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e8c25b/32.png) [@gonzomax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gonzomax)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2008, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-prepare-to-kill-so-much-for-never-again/455934/42 "2008-07-10T16:26:33Z")
My beagles have wiped out a bunch of groundhogs. I live across from a huge park. We have no rodent problems. Well except my young beagle killed and swallowed a large mouse a couple days ago. She gets plenty of food. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2008, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-prepare-to-kill-so-much-for-never-again/455934/43 "2008-07-10T16:30:53Z")
Can’t you get some ASE-certified badgers or something? ---
**Author:** ![WolfpackJeep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpackjeep/32/2921_2.png) [@WolfpackJeep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WolfpackJeep)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2008, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-prepare-to-kill-so-much-for-never-again/455934/44 "2008-07-10T16:31:04Z")
Sweet Eris, this is funny. 😃 I like the idea of water in the tunnels plus kids with bats and/or dogs. If you opt for dogs, I wouldn’t recommend a retriever. Despite their speed and accuracy, many of them will retrieve their prey live. Then they will try to sneak into the house with the live prey, occasionally making it all the way into the kitchen before Mom sees it and starts screaming. (I had a fun childhood!) Of course, if you want to dispatch the rodents personally – especially after what they did to your car – then go for retrievers. They’ll bring the nasty little furballs right back and drop them at your feet. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2008, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-prepare-to-kill-so-much-for-never-again/455934/45 "2008-07-10T16:31:15Z")
I wish you the best, fellow Holy-Warrior! I am nearing the end of a Jihad against the dreded ground squirrel that chew up my irrigation lines. Poison, traps, BB guns and even _CATS_\* have been employeed to date in the quest for thier eradication. I am nearly there. No large-scale leaks in nearly 2 seasons! I did see one of the little bastards the other day however, so there is still work to be done! To Arms! Fight the good fight! \*I hate cats. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2008, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-prepare-to-kill-so-much-for-never-again/455934/46 "2008-07-10T16:37:26Z")
I’m starting to get worried. \*\* Scylla\*\* went out last night to do battle, and we haven’t heard from him yet. You don’t suppose…? ---
**Author:** ![ignis\_glaciesque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/5f8ce5/32.png) [@ignis\_glaciesque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ignis_glaciesque)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2008, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-prepare-to-kill-so-much-for-never-again/455934/47 "2008-07-10T16:43:23Z")
:eek: Is it too late to negotiate for his release? ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2008, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-prepare-to-kill-so-much-for-never-again/455934/48 "2008-07-10T16:46:06Z")
[QUOTE=Scylla] I will drown every one that I catch. [/QUOTE] Drown them, or just make them THINK you are going to drown them? d&r ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2008, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-prepare-to-kill-so-much-for-never-again/455934/49 "2008-07-10T16:47:42Z")
[QUOTE=ignis\_glaciesque] :eek: Is it too late to negotiate for his release? [/QUOTE] Groundhogs don’t negotiate with [del]terrorists[/del] humans. Matter of policy, you know. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2008, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-prepare-to-kill-so-much-for-never-again/455934/50 "2008-07-10T16:50:57Z")
[QUOTE=Really Not All That Bright] Can’t you get some ASE-certified badgers or something? [/QUOTE] Badgers? \*Badgers?! \* We don’t need no _steeeeeenking_ badgers! ---
**Author:** ![XT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xt/32/456_2.png) [@XT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/XT)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2008, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-prepare-to-kill-so-much-for-never-again/455934/51 "2008-07-10T17:02:07Z")
I think one of his neighbors put peanut butter on his brake lines and let nature take it’s course. Either that or Scylla is dealing with a race of super intelligent groundhogs…which won’t bode well for his war. If that’s the case, I’m reminded of a vivid scene in the book Armor, when the troops, thinking they were all secure in their base, suddenly heard noises coming from below… Well, ok…I’m also reminded of the scene in Monty Python’s Holy Grail when the English attempted to roll up a giant wooden hedgehog (sort of like a groundhog I suppose) and take the French completely by surprise. If a giant wooden ground hog materializes in your front yard Scylla, my advice is to toss in your hog bomb and run the other way… -XT ---
**Author:** ![Antigen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/848f3c/32.png) [@Antigen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antigen)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2008, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-prepare-to-kill-so-much-for-never-again/455934/52 "2008-07-10T17:25:11Z")
[QUOTE=xtisme] I’m also reminded of the scene in Monty Python’s Holy Grail when the English attempted to roll up a giant wooden hedgehog (sort of like a groundhog I suppose) and take the French completely by surprise. [/QUOTE] Nitpick: it was a wooden rabbit. Rabbits, you can grab by the ears and fling 'em off your property. Don’t have that option with groundhogs. Bastards are _evolved_ for warfare. ---
**Author:** ![XT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xt/32/456_2.png) [@XT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/XT)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2008, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-prepare-to-kill-so-much-for-never-again/455934/53 "2008-07-10T17:28:54Z")
:smack: That’s right. But weren’t they then discussing building a giant wooden hedgehog (since they forgot to get inside so they could leap FROM the rabbit and take the French completely by surprise)? -XT ---
**Author:** ![TroubleAgain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e480ec/32.png) [@TroubleAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroubleAgain)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2008, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-prepare-to-kill-so-much-for-never-again/455934/54 "2008-07-10T17:29:49Z")
I’d much rather hear that the groundhogs were shot than drowned. ::shudder:: Drowning seems truly inhumane to me, as it’s one of my phobias. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2008, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-prepare-to-kill-so-much-for-never-again/455934/55 "2008-07-10T17:43:18Z")
Scylla, give the sanctions time to take effect. ---
**Author:** ![THespos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8c91f0/32.png) [@THespos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/THespos)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2008, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-prepare-to-kill-so-much-for-never-again/455934/56 "2008-07-10T17:47:47Z")
[QUOTE=xtisme] :smack: That’s right. But weren’t they then discussing building a giant wooden hedgehog (since they forgot to get inside so they could leap FROM the rabbit and take the French completely by surprise)? -XT [/QUOTE] Badger. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2008, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-prepare-to-kill-so-much-for-never-again/455934/57 "2008-07-10T17:51:09Z")
Mushroom. ---
**Author:** ![freekalette](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/50afbb/32.png) [@freekalette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/freekalette)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2008, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-prepare-to-kill-so-much-for-never-again/455934/58 "2008-07-10T18:09:28Z")
Snaaake! Snaaake! Ohhh, it’s a snake!! ---
**Author:** ![Dumbguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2bfe46/32.png) [@Dumbguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dumbguy)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2008, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-prepare-to-kill-so-much-for-never-again/455934/59 "2008-07-10T18:12:19Z")
Play some Kenny Loggins really loud and wait for them to come out of hiding. They can’t resist the Loggins. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2008, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-prepare-to-kill-so-much-for-never-again/455934/60 "2008-07-10T18:24:46Z")
Where can you see groundhogs? Only in [del]Kenya[/del] Ancient Greece! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-prepare-to-kill-so-much-for-never-again/455934.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-prepare-to-kill-so-much-for-never-again/455934.md?page=4)