# I promised and I meant it **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 19, 2002, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-promised-and-i-meant-it/119842 "2002-07-19T17:31:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![kung\_fu\_lola](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f4b2a3/32.png) [@kung\_fu\_lola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kung_fu_lola)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2002, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-promised-and-i-meant-it/119842/1 "2002-07-19T17:31:21Z")
On Wednesday of last week, you left a message on my answering machine telling me how much you loved me and missed me. On Friday, you slept with someone else. On Sunday, I called you and you told me that you didn’t love me anymore and that you were now committed to Your Girl Friday. I still love you. I promised to be your wife when you asked me to marry you, and I take that promise seriously. I swore to you that I would love you for the rest of your life. And I will. If you ever want to be with me again, I will be here. I will want to marry you when you are 35, when you are 40, when you are 70, when you are 100. All you have to do is ask. ---
**Author:** ![zev\_steinhardt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/97f17d/32.png) [@zev\_steinhardt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zev_steinhardt)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2002, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-promised-and-i-meant-it/119842/2 "2002-07-19T17:33:57Z")
Does that mean that you won’t ever ever considering marrying anyone else **kung fu lola** , even if what’s-his-name takes up with Girl Friday permenantly? Zev Steinhardt ---
**Author:** ![kung\_fu\_lola](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f4b2a3/32.png) [@kung\_fu\_lola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kung_fu_lola)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2002, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-promised-and-i-meant-it/119842/3 "2002-07-19T17:39:22Z")
Zev, I doubt I’ll have the opportunity. ---
**Author:** ![Eonwe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eonwe/32/240_2.png) [@Eonwe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eonwe)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2002, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-promised-and-i-meant-it/119842/4 "2002-07-19T17:58:14Z")
{{{ **kung fu lola** }}} That’s really too bad. I do hope (and don’t doubt) that eventually you will find someone else. My thoughts go out to you. ☹☹ ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2002, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-promised-and-i-meant-it/119842/5 "2002-07-19T18:37:08Z")
_cue the George Jones music_ \*He said I’ll love you 'til I die She told him you’ll forget in time As the years went slowly by She still preyed upon his mind (Chorus) He stopped loving her today They placed a wreath upon his door And soon they’ll carry him away He stopped loving her today \* As one of many divorced dopers (mine just happened this year after 7 years of marriage), I can assure you that it will get better. You’ll get over this and, hopefully, you’ll find someone better. ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2002, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-promised-and-i-meant-it/119842/6 "2002-07-19T19:11:28Z")
_{sigh}_ Yeah, I’m still waiting for mine, too. I figured it’ll take him about 5-10 years before he figures out we’re the best thing together since french fries and BBQ sauce, but I’m an extraordinarily patient fellow… Esprix ---
**Author:** ![Daowajan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3bc359/32.png) [@Daowajan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daowajan)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2002, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-promised-and-i-meant-it/119842/7 "2002-07-19T19:33:11Z")
I may have you confused with someone else, but is this the same girl who got really mad at you because you weren’t gay enough? If she is, I’d like to be the first poster to be an asshole and say you’re probably better off. (If she’s not, or you’re someone else, I’m sorry and I know you’ll find someone else, who’ll treat you right. {{{{{kung fu lola}}}}}) ---
**Author:** ![Serendipity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f17d59/32.png) [@Serendipity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Serendipity)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2002, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-promised-and-i-meant-it/119842/8 "2002-07-19T21:29:56Z")
((((((( **kung fu lola** ))))))) I’m thinking good thoughts for you, in hopes that they might ease the heartache. Take care of yourself. ---
**Author:** ![kung\_fu\_lola](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f4b2a3/32.png) [@kung\_fu\_lola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kung_fu_lola)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2002, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-promised-and-i-meant-it/119842/9 "2002-07-20T03:54:40Z")
> [@](#): > > _originally posted by Daowajan_ > **I may have you confused with someone else, but is this the same girl who got really mad at you because you weren’t gay enough?** Yes, that was us. All I can think is that I want her back. And thanks everyone for the hugs. I know the SD frowns on cyber PDAs. ---
**Author:** ![samclem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9a28c/32.png) [@samclem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samclem)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2002, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-promised-and-i-meant-it/119842/10 "2002-07-20T04:18:56Z")
> [@](#): > > I may have you confused with someone else, but is this the same girl who got really mad at you because you weren’t gay enough? Uh, non-gay doper here. Do you guys have to take a test and come up with a score? Do they need a blood sample or is is multiple choice? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Daowajan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3bc359/32.png) [@Daowajan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daowajan)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2002, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-promised-and-i-meant-it/119842/11 "2002-07-20T05:35:00Z")
Sigh, okay then. Then I’d _really_ like to be the first person to be an @sshole and say that you are most definitely better off. And some day you will meet someone who will treat you the way she hasn’t. I really would like to believe you when you say she was wonderful, but all I know about her is that your bisexual tendencies offended her on some level and that she’s now run off with Girl Friday two days after professing her love for you. I’m sorry, but I’m having a hard time understanding how you could want her back. ---
**Author:** ![Daowajan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3bc359/32.png) [@Daowajan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daowajan)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2002, 6:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-promised-and-i-meant-it/119842/12 "2002-07-20T06:37:53Z")
…oh yeah, and I do realize that you’re going through rough times. If you want me to shut up and go away, just say so. ---
**Author:** ![kung\_fu\_lola](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f4b2a3/32.png) [@kung\_fu\_lola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kung_fu_lola)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2002, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-promised-and-i-meant-it/119842/13 "2002-07-21T03:48:05Z")
I like having people give me feedback about this. It helps to distract me from calling her up crying like a baby begging her to take me back. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2002, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-promised-and-i-meant-it/119842/14 "2002-07-21T13:12:55Z")
You deserve someone who feels the same way about you as you feel about them. Keep your options open, someone might come along. ---
**Author:** ![Geobabe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/geobabe/32/3908_2.png) [@Geobabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geobabe)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2002, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-promised-and-i-meant-it/119842/15 "2002-07-21T16:03:12Z")
I’m with **Daowajan** on this one. You would be far better off getting on with your life than waiting around for someone who is so callous as to tell you she loves you, then sleep with someone else two days later. That’s not loving behavior. I know it hurts, and my heart hurts for you, but please try to forget this girl, because someone who could do that to you doesn’t deserve that kind of devotion. Love should be shared with someone who will treat your heart as if it were their own. {{{kung fu lola}}} ---
**Author:** ![kung\_fu\_lola](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f4b2a3/32.png) [@kung\_fu\_lola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kung_fu_lola)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2002, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-promised-and-i-meant-it/119842/16 "2002-07-21T16:09:09Z")
[Carrie Fisher]“You’re right, I know you’re right.”[/Carrie Fisher] Wow. Two years, gone. Two years of friendship and devotion down the drain in an instant. I feel like I’ve been hit in the chest with a major league pitch. ---
**Author:** ![Eonwe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eonwe/32/240_2.png) [@Eonwe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eonwe)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2002, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-promised-and-i-meant-it/119842/17 "2002-07-21T21:29:38Z")
My philosophy in regards to this sort of thing is that if the time in the relationship was well spent, just because it’s over doesn’t mean that you wasted two years of your life. ---
**Author:** ![Zyada](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zyada/32/3028_2.png) [@Zyada](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zyada)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2002, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-promised-and-i-meant-it/119842/18 "2002-07-22T03:00:43Z")
{{{kung fu lola}}} You can’t erase love in a minute (which makes it painfully obvious that this person was lying to you), but I join Daowajan in asking you to grieve for a relationship that is over, instead of clinging to a relationship that would destroy you. True love is not just about giving love, but also about growing love together - if you love someone who doesn’t love you back, you aren’t experiencing the true heights that love can acheive.