# I put my wife in jail today. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 18, 2011, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-put-my-wife-in-jail-today/571839 "2011-02-18T19:19:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Darth\_Nader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Darth\_Nader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Nader)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2011, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-put-my-wife-in-jail-today/571839/1 "2011-02-18T19:19:21Z")
So it was a normal fucking morning at the **Nader** homestead. After I took my son to school, I had to deal with a crazy woman waving a knife around. Done with that. Walked over to the gas station and called the cops. They picked her up, in my car, passing through the next town over, a little later. I don’t know what to do now. PD were very nice to me. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2011, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-put-my-wife-in-jail-today/571839/2 "2011-02-18T19:22:15Z")
Yikes. Is she mentally ill? I’m thinking yes? I’m torn between “you have an obligation to stand by her in sickness and in health, for better and for worse” and “get the fuck out of there!” And I’m sure you are, too. Whatever you decide to do, good luck with that. Counseling is good. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2011, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-put-my-wife-in-jail-today/571839/3 "2011-02-18T19:22:33Z")
Lawyer. Lawyer lawyer lawyer. When men go up against women in domestic abuse, you’re lucky they didn’t put YOU in a police car. Edited for clarification: I mean that the systems are weighted heavily in favour of women, not that you did anything to warrant being arrested. I’m so sorry to hear that this is going on in your life. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2011, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-put-my-wife-in-jail-today/571839/4 "2011-02-18T19:24:23Z")
That’s pretty rough on you and the boy. Sorry, friend. You say this or something akin to it happens fairly regularly now? Has she seen a doctor, been diagnosed, taking medication or anything? ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Nader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Darth\_Nader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Nader)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2011, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-put-my-wife-in-jail-today/571839/5 "2011-02-18T19:30:33Z")
I was in a police car. I walked over to the station to see if I could talk to her, and they gave me a ride home. ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2011, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-put-my-wife-in-jail-today/571839/6 "2011-02-18T19:43:42Z")
Well, okay, that beats me crappy day by a mile. ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2011, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-put-my-wife-in-jail-today/571839/7 "2011-02-18T19:48:05Z")
Jesus. Sorry to hear this, **Darth Nader**. (Well, that’s just a pathetically lame understatement.) I hope ultimately this leads to a better situation for you. It sounds like things must have been pretty miserable for a while. ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Nader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Darth\_Nader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Nader)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2011, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-put-my-wife-in-jail-today/571839/8 "2011-02-18T19:49:02Z")
We live one block away from our town’s jail. I can look out my living room window and see the building she’s in right now. That’s EXACTLY why they gave me a ride home. argh. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2011, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-put-my-wife-in-jail-today/571839/9 "2011-02-18T19:53:17Z")
Wow, how long has this been going on? ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Nader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Darth\_Nader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Nader)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2011, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-put-my-wife-in-jail-today/571839/10 "2011-02-18T19:55:27Z")
> **[I need a hug.](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=590583)** > > No, this isn’t a plea for {hugs}. Just goddamnit. Not having a good day today. I’m going to get very drunk, and maybe break a lot of shit. Le sigh. ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2011, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-put-my-wife-in-jail-today/571839/11 "2011-02-18T19:56:31Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Wow, how long has this been going on? Yep - that’s the first thing that comes to mind: what is the context? Is this another thread in a line of threads where you’ve outlined the challenges you have been facing? Either way, it sounds awful for you - and, depending on what led her to waving a knife around, it sounds awful for her, too, let alone your son. I hope you see a path to a better place from here. ---
**Author:** ![lorene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/65b543/32.png) [@lorene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorene)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2011, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-put-my-wife-in-jail-today/571839/12 "2011-02-18T20:04:43Z")
Damn. I thought this was one of those light-hearted fundraiser things where you can have someone “jailed” for stupid things and they have to pay money to get out, etc. I hope you are safe and able to formulate some next steps to keep yourself safe. What do you suppose you will tell your son? ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2011, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-put-my-wife-in-jail-today/571839/13 "2011-02-18T20:14:25Z")
Do they do mandatory 72 hour psych holds where you’re at? It’s called the Baker Act here and is often used as a verb. It sounds like that might be more helpful than having her sit in jail. My brother had similar issues with his ex, she’d attack and abuse him but it took the cops a few calls to believe that she was the problem. When she turned on the cops they finally Baker Acted her and that led to a longer commitment where she got help for her mental issues. It also enabled my brother to get out of the marriage and get custody of the kids. Good luck. ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2011, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-put-my-wife-in-jail-today/571839/14 "2011-02-18T20:16:44Z")
Damn. What an awful day. I’m missing some history here I’m sure; in the Christmas day thread I got the impression that she might be bipolar? While you absolutely do need to protect yourself and your son, if she’s got a doctor it’d be a decent idea to phone the doctor to notify him/her of this. I hope your wife is able to get the help she needs to live a more sane life, and I hope you’re able to get a more sane life yourself. Hugs and well wishes from us. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2011, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-put-my-wife-in-jail-today/571839/15 "2011-02-18T20:19:24Z")
I’m going to be nosy. So what are you going to do? Are you going to divorce her and take the children? Are you going to stick through the abuse for the children? Is the marriage salvageable? Am I asking too many questions? ---
**Author:** ![lorene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/65b543/32.png) [@lorene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorene)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2011, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-put-my-wife-in-jail-today/571839/16 "2011-02-18T20:25:55Z")
Well, **MOL** , those are the same questions I have. Plus: I looked at the othre thread and a few related ones, and it seems like this has been relatively recent behavior. Is that true? has she received any psychiatric treatment? Have you received any support? ---
**Author:** ![C3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/c3/32/3108_2.png) [@C3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C3)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2011, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-put-my-wife-in-jail-today/571839/17 "2011-02-18T20:40:01Z")
It’s interesting that mental illness is where many people are going with this. If **Darth Nader** was a woman posting this about her husband, I don’t think that would be the case. Anyway, I hope that you can fine safety and peace, Darth, and that you get a fair outcome out of this. Also, I think you did the right thing, especially for your child. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Devil_s_Grandmother)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2011, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-put-my-wife-in-jail-today/571839/18 "2011-02-18T20:48:30Z")
I dunno **C3** , we might be asking more about a brain tumor if MrsNader was a MrNader. But given that she’s not always like this, I think it’s more mental illness than systematic abuse. The bit about the knife does make me want to scream “_get the kid and get out you idiot_!” like **Darth Nader** ’s a co-ed about to take a night time hike to look at the lake, but there’s not much I can make him do over the internet. ---
**Author:** ![lavenderviolet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/cdc98d/32.png) [@lavenderviolet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lavenderviolet)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2011, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-put-my-wife-in-jail-today/571839/19 "2011-02-18T20:50:33Z")
> [@C3](#): > > It’s interesting that mental illness is where many people are going with this. If **Darth Nader** was a woman posting this about her husband, I don’t think that would be the case. Are you suggesting that abusive men aren’t mentally ill? It’s hard to tell exactly what is going on here since Darth is being very vague about it, but most of the time when people pick up a knife in a domestic situation without any apparent provocation, I would feel comfortable assuming the problem is either mental illness or alcohol/drugs. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2011, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-put-my-wife-in-jail-today/571839/20 "2011-02-18T20:54:10Z")
The “stop being crazy moments” line in the other thread was what made me assume that it’s possibly/quite likely mental illness. Considering that she’s broken his foot by running over it with the car already, I’d say that calling the cops is a good step but not sufficient. Something has to happen, and it ought to involve a lawyer and/or a doctor - and quickly, before she’s released from jail. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-put-my-wife-in-jail-today/571839.md?page=2)