# I raped my fiancée. In her nightmare. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 2, 2011, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-raped-my-fiancee-in-her-nightmare/573175 "2011-03-02T05:58:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2011, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-raped-my-fiancee-in-her-nightmare/573175/21 "2011-03-02T19:56:08Z")
> [@Ferret\_Herder](#): > > My wild-ass guess is that if you start having any ‘ambulatory’/hallucinatory events, you’re supposed to stop taking it, which stops any side effects from happening again. Much better than drugs with a potential side effect of a heart attack or something similar. Meanwhile for those it doesn’t produce bad side effects in, they’re much better off getting a good night’s sleep than not getting one. Ambien is just notable in the type of side effects it can produce, and in that many people can improve their chances of not getting them by pretty much literally taking the pill in bed and laying down immediately for sleep. As I understand it, people have hallucinations because they dream whether they’ve fallen asleep or not. I stopped taking it after I had really bad hallucinations the only time I took a full dose (5’ spider on the ceiling, muppets wouldn’t let me leave my room, it snowed inside, and my deceased grandfather’s photo waved at me…). It took until I threw up a couple of times about an hour later for it to stop. No fun. OTOH, I’ve read an article that said virtually every police report of “sleep driving” includes the admission by the driver that s/he took it on the way home (!!) from somewhere so it’s hard to blame the company for such “ambulatory events” when they warn you repeatedly in the literature not to do that. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2011, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-raped-my-fiancee-in-her-nightmare/573175/22 "2011-03-02T20:15:27Z")
> [@Heckity](#): > > The reason I’m suggesting this is that although I don’t take Ambien or any other sleep-aid, if I have a dream that my husband cheated on me or upset me in any way I can stay angry for several hours after I wake up. Somehow those emotions when triggered can last a long, long, time - even in the face of rational evidence to the contrary. I have always had very vivid dreams, and once dreamed that my husband suffocated me with my own t-shirt. I kept trying to signal to him that I couldn’t breathe and he kept screaming, ‘‘Shut up! Shut up!’’ and I realized that I was going to die and there was nothing I could do to stop him. Really bizarre stuff, considering the fact that IRL he’s an incredibly mild-mannered, slow-to-anger, impossibly calm sort of person. But it felt so real that I had a hard time even talking about it, and wasn’t back to normal until the end of the day. Anyway, **commasense** , it sounds like a terrible ordeal and I am glad for both of your sakes that your fiancee was able to come back down to earth. You handled it incredibly well and I wish you two all the greatest happiness together. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2011, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-raped-my-fiancee-in-her-nightmare/573175/23 "2011-03-02T20:29:18Z")
Wow, **commasense** … just… wow. I’m glad you handled it so well and so calmly, and that it turned out OK after all. By all means get your sleep patterns and apnea checked out by a doc, and you might also want to consider separate bedrooms, if that’s feasible on your budget. ---
**Author:** ![commasense](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/commasense/32/3017_2.png) [@commasense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/commasense)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2011, 7:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-raped-my-fiancee-in-her-nightmare/573175/24 "2011-03-03T07:44:33Z")
> [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > … and you might also want to consider separate bedrooms, if that’s feasible on your budget. She made it clear to me tonight that that’s not an option, that sleeping with me is worth putting up with the snoring. What can I say? She \*really \*loves me. ---
**Author:** ![TimeWinder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bcef8e/32.png) [@TimeWinder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TimeWinder)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2011, 8:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-raped-my-fiancee-in-her-nightmare/573175/25 "2011-03-03T08:08:37Z")
> [@Ferret\_Herder](#): > > My wild-ass guess is that if you start having any ‘ambulatory’/hallucinatory events, you’re supposed to stop taking it, which stops any side effects from happening again. I wish. My wife had amnesiac periods for months after stopping it – and getting her to stop it in the first place was almost impossible, because she would never remember the weird stuff she’d do when she took it, just that it helped her sleep. I’d never wish this drug on anyone. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2011, 9:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-raped-my-fiancee-in-her-nightmare/573175/26 "2011-03-03T09:51:45Z")
> [@commasense](#): > > I’m going to suggest that she try earplugs again, which we had half-heartedly tried once before. Her ear canals are small and somewhat oddly shaped, which makes getting them to fit correctly a little tricky. I’ve got the same problem: I used to use silicon plugs (I had to cut up a piece and shape it), but the last time I asked for “children’s plugs” per the ear technician’s recommendation and those are working a lot better. Do you know what causes the snoring? My mother used to snore hellishly, but losing 10lb got us saved from that: you could hear her through one regular and one steel-paned closed doors, now she only snorts occasionally if she falls asleep in the armchair (not at all in the bed). ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2011, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-raped-my-fiancee-in-her-nightmare/573175/27 "2011-03-03T16:37:57Z")
> [@commasense](#): > > It was scary. Although while it was still going on I was pretty sure she’d be okay in the morning, I briefly thought about what would have happened if she weren’t. It would have been hard to prove to her, or anyone else, that I _hadn’t_ raped her, unless I had taken her to the hospital for an examination. Well, I think the part in the police report where she describes how you then pulled off your face and turned into Abraham Lincoln while the walls melted might help your case.😉 It also occurs to me your fiancee might have been “incepted”. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Miskatonic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mr.miskatonic/32/310_2.png) [@Mr.Miskatonic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Miskatonic)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2011, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-raped-my-fiancee-in-her-nightmare/573175/28 "2011-03-03T16:43:02Z")
> [@Starving\_Artist](#): > > Yep, Ambien is notorious for hallucinations, strange behavior, and sometimes amnesia for what happened the previous night. Wasn’t aspects of dreams part of the their advertising campaign at one point? ---
**Author:** ![Registered\_at\_Last](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bc79bd/32.png) [@Registered\_at\_Last](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Registered_at_Last)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2011, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-raped-my-fiancee-in-her-nightmare/573175/29 "2011-03-03T17:15:29Z")
> [@commasense](#): > > Thanks for your concern, but I’m pretty sure I don’t have sleep apnea. I don’t have the fatigue that is the most telling symptom – I sleep quite well – and although I’m not a sleep specialist, the recordings show quite regular breathing, not the irregular breathing that is characteristic of apnea. > > I could stand to lose some weight, which is the top recommendation to reduce snoring, and I’m working on that. But I know that I snored pretty badly about 20 years ago when I was somewhat thinner. You know, my mum was a really bad snorer (could wake me from a sound sleep through 2 closed doors) and she was never overly tired. And as far as being a “typical apnea” patient … she was not. She was thin as a rake (120lb at 5’8"), had her tonsils & adenoids removed as a child, no other medical conditions at all. And the sleep test showed that she had quite severe apnea. So get it checked out anyway. She found that while she had never felt tired before, she had SOOOO much more energy after dealling with the problem that it was amazing. And Dad and I also had more energy (and the dog didn’t get kicked off the bed in the middle of the night when I blamed her for the snoring) ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2011, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-raped-my-fiancee-in-her-nightmare/573175/30 "2011-03-03T17:15:41Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > …It also occurs to me your fiancee might have been “incepted”. Heh heh. I bet you think you thought that up all by yourself. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-raped-my-fiancee-in-her-nightmare/573175.md?page=1)