At least he told you what’s on his mind. Transparency is a good thing.
Casket and all? At least you know he’s really single.
There’s another thread I’ve read somewhere, where someone posted that they never reply to guys who claim to be widowers. Because they’re all scammers.
I suppose that depends on their age. 25yos? Probably scamming. 70 yos? Much more likely to be real.
The fish is especially weird.
And I don’t get the fuzzy picture taken from the front seat of the car where they’re glaring in angry confusion at the camera. What the hell is that? It’s a first impression, get out of the car and smile.
IME, the sites all suck. It is mostly people who have long since left the site, a few bots (eHarmony was far and away the worst for fake profiles), and a lot of scammers. At least the swiping apps are fast.
A not small percentage of the guys I see on the apps claim to be “ethically non-monogamous” so don’t let the happy marriage stop you.
That’s a good one. Ethically non-monogamous. How can my girlfriend argue with that? It’s ethics!
I suppose if you both agree, then it’s ethical. As opposed to the typical way non-monogamous happens: him doing it anyhow without her knowledge against her tacit disapproval. Or her doing it anyhow over his tacit objection, but that’s not the genders @amarinth is reporting on.
This has been my experience.
Other tell tale signs: Way over the top expressions of how beautiful I am, and what a fascinating profile I have! On a good day I am cute. I am not lovely beautiful gorgeous. Plus real men do not talk like that.
English that is just not quite right. It’s not easy to describe this, but you will know it when you read it.
There’s always something hinky going on with their location. Or an accent that should not be there. The first one I talked to back in the day. Said he was born and raised in California. Lived in San Francisco. When I talked to him, he had an accent. When I questioned that, it was because his parents were born in Switzerland. Yeah, that explains it.
One I came across last week. His profile says he lives in Los Angeles. But he his home is someplace in Oregon. BUT he is working in Morocco. Dude, if I need to graph it out, I’m not playing.
And a recent trend, there are four profiles I see that are verbatim identical, but the pictures, ages and locations are different. I challenged one of these guys, “hey you are the 3rd person with the exact profile I have seen today, what’s up?” He blocked me.
I don’t know who falls for these. Someone must, because they keep doing them.
If I ever join one of these sites, it’ll be because I became a widower. Bummer to know that’s a scam sign. SO not mentioning that little biographical fact would be better? How/when would a guy do the reveal without blowing their credibility. Not like that’s a minor life change they were “overlooking” or “forgot to mention”.
As to the 4 profiles, I assume they’re expecting different people to see different ones of them, based on tight search criteria. OTOH a chick like you who says “any age, anywhere, I just want me a MAN!” (
) will be shown all 4.
I will assume you meant that as a joke.
I would not put the widow thing in your profile. And not just for the reason mentioned above. But on a dating site, you need to be past that to a certain degree. I also don’t want to deal with the fallout from your divorce or last nasty breakup. What I want to know is what are you looking for (are we a match?) and to know about more you (are we a match?)
Yes I was joking about your profile; hence the wink.
But at the same time, if indeed the scamsters used one profile with 4 widely varying ages they might reasonably expect that most seekers would have a narrow enough age range to skip most of those and only see1 or maybe 2. And that for the few folk shown multiple copies of the profile, well … most people are lousy at details. Whether that’s seekers or scammers.
Agree anyone needs to write their profile to 90% sell what they offer and 10% explain what they want. Not to deliver a biography of how they got to wherever they are.
But knowing how many people have a really nasty view of the opposite sex conditioned by their own horrible divorce, I had always assumed that being a (genuine) widower meant something like “Unlike all those other guys with ex- wives, I’m not pre-conditioned to view all women as scheming crazy she-devils like the divorced men do.”
Seems a shame to have had scammer appropriate all that benefit for themselves. Then again, criminals have been ruining waay too much of human society since forever. It stand to reason (or at least to statistics) that they’d wreck this too.
Nah, over certain age, true widowers aren’t unusual. Still have to read the ads carefully though, to be sure.