# I really hate big paper clips **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 27, 2004, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-really-hate-big-paper-clips/271563 "2004-10-27T23:33:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![VenusProbe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/e495f1/32.png) [@VenusProbe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VenusProbe)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2004, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-really-hate-big-paper-clips/271563/21 "2004-10-28T14:13:15Z")
I, for one, welcome our new big paper clip overlords. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![StarvingButStrong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/starvingbutstrong/32/335_2.png) [@StarvingButStrong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StarvingButStrong)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2004, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-really-hate-big-paper-clips/271563/22 "2004-10-28T14:20:29Z")
Big, small, in between: I can deal. I can even take the HUMONGOUS (like EIGHT INCHES LONG) yellow plastic one a coworker keeps on her desk. But what about the MUTANT paper clips? We got a whole box of them last month, shaped into little circles! Disgusting, what? Okay, it’s not their fault they were born mutated, but at least they should be ashamed enough to throw themselves back into the molten vat and try for rebirth as, oh, maybe a coat hangar. Just saying. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2004, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-really-hate-big-paper-clips/271563/23 "2004-10-28T15:25:02Z")
Paper clips are the larval stage of wire clothes hangers. Think about it! You can never find a paper clip when you really need one, and you always end up with more wire clothes hangers than you could ever possibly use. Occam’s Razor, the Scientific Method, and Pretty People Who Don’t Sweat DEMAND that you accept this half assed theory as a Universal Axiom! ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2004, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-really-hate-big-paper-clips/271563/24 "2004-10-28T15:42:20Z")
> [@NoClueBoy](#): > > Paper clips are the larval stage of wire clothes hangers. > > Think about it! > > You can never find a paper clip when you really need one, and you always end up with more wire clothes hangers than you could ever possibly use. > > Occam’s Razor, the Scientific Method, and Pretty People Who Don’t Sweat DEMAND that you accept this half assed theory as a Universal Axiom! Interesting hypothesis. But to be a true theory, it must have **predictive validity**. **So what happens to the Missing Socks?** ---
**Author:** ![bdgr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a87d85/32.png) [@bdgr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bdgr)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2004, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-really-hate-big-paper-clips/271563/25 "2004-10-28T15:46:39Z")
> [@NoClueBoy](#): > > Paper clips are the larval stage of wire clothes hangers. > > Think about it! > > You can never find a paper clip when you really need one, and you always end up with more wire clothes hangers than you could ever possibly use. > > Occam’s Razor, the Scientific Method, and Pretty People Who Don’t Sweat DEMAND that you accept this half assed theory as a Universal Axiom! If this is true, where are the transitional forms? Out in glenrose near here they have examples of both big paper clips and wire hangers togeather. That proves…something… ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2004, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-really-hate-big-paper-clips/271563/26 "2004-10-28T15:48:11Z")
> [@Polycarp](#): > > **So what happens to the Missing Socks?** have you noticed the resurgence of ponchos lately . . . . ---
**Author:** ![bdgr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a87d85/32.png) [@bdgr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bdgr)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2004, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-really-hate-big-paper-clips/271563/27 "2004-10-28T15:48:24Z")
I esprecially hate the paper clips that tell me how to write my word documents. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2004, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-really-hate-big-paper-clips/271563/28 "2004-10-28T16:00:02Z")
The pupal stage looks just like dust bunnies and/or pennies. Depends on the species. **Eve** already explained the missing socks / pancho link. Check your dryers! Keep watching the laundery! ---
**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2004, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-really-hate-big-paper-clips/271563/29 "2004-10-28T16:02:13Z")
I hate teeny tiny safety pins. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2004, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-really-hate-big-paper-clips/271563/30 "2004-10-28T16:05:20Z")
> [@vanilla](#): > > I hate teeny tiny safety pins. Well now, that’s just weird. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![GraphicsGal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e0b2c6/32.png) [@GraphicsGal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GraphicsGal)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2004, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-really-hate-big-paper-clips/271563/31 "2004-10-28T16:38:29Z")
> [@Polycarp](#): > > Interesting hypothesis. > > But to be a true theory, it must have **predictive validity**. > > **So what happens to the Missing Socks?** Every so often the washer spits out a sweater of unknown origin. At least, it does at my house. ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2004, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-really-hate-big-paper-clips/271563/32 "2004-10-28T16:50:04Z")
All paper clips suck. Staples are too permament and paper clips are too wimpy. [http://www.halconet.com/store/default.php?cPath=6](http://www.halconet.com/store/default.php?cPath=6) Stoid, happy Clam Clip user since 1985. ---
**Author:** ![Shrinking\_Violet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@Shrinking\_Violet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shrinking_Violet)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2004, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-really-hate-big-paper-clips/271563/33 "2004-10-28T16:50:52Z")
> [@bdgr](#): > > If this is true, where are the transitional forms? Right [here](http://www.dowahdiddy.com/kids/slinky.jpg). ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2004, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-really-hate-big-paper-clips/271563/34 "2004-10-28T16:59:42Z")
The purpose of big paper clips is the manual ejection of CDs when your CD drive goes wonky. It all dates back to the Macintosh floppy emergency eject pinhole, of course. Things like CDROM drives just followed suit when they came along. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2004, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-really-hate-big-paper-clips/271563/35 "2004-10-28T17:18:32Z")
As an afficianado of sproing, I agree with the OP. What? You’ve never heard of sproing? Could that have anything to do with the fact that I invented it? Sproing is the most fun you can have in an office where you’re really really bored. Here’s how you play: Take one paperclip, preferably of the small variety. Unbend it, then rebend it into a circle. One end should be about 1/2 inch from the other, in the Z dimension. Adjust it so that you can hook the top end under the bottom end in such a way that the smallest vibration will unhook it. This is known as the “locked”, or “ready” position. Hold it about 1/2 inch over a desk, and release. The impact with the desk will cause the ends to unhook with force, thus launching the sproing to very respectable altitudes. Sport launching is very popular, but competition sproinging has its own rewards. Here is how you score: Sproing lands in a coworker’s coffee cup - 1 point Coworker is unwilling to participate or unaware of the game - add 2 points Coffee cup is full, fresh, and piping hot - add 3 points Sproing lands in unaware coworker’s hair and stays there for the rest of the day - 10 points The reason large paperclips are bad for this is that they don’t have enough springiness, or “thrust”, and there is too much dead weight. Usually they don’t clear the rim of the coffee cup. ---
**Author:** ![Billdo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/billdo/32/315_2.png) [@Billdo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Billdo)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2004, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-really-hate-big-paper-clips/271563/36 "2004-10-28T17:29:53Z")
I think that this is the appropriate place to confess my unnatural attraction to butterfly clips. Those giant size paper clips that are shaped like opposed triangles. They are the ultimate apex of office supplies. ---
**Author:** ![Wilson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/96bed5/32.png) [@Wilson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wilson)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2004, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-really-hate-big-paper-clips/271563/37 "2004-10-29T04:00:51Z")
> [@Billdo](#): > > I think that this is the appropriate place to confess my unnatural attraction to butterfly clips. Those giant size paper clips that are shaped like opposed triangles. > > They are the ultimate apex of office supplies. You, sir, are a man with Exceedingly Good Taste. I would go a little further and claim that they may be the ultimate apex of Western Civilization. Well, them or [Sqyntz!](http://www.myntz.com/store/MyntzProducts/Products.asp?Category=Sqyntz!) I buy my own butterfly clips and bring them into the office. People like them so much they steal them from my desk. The horror, the horror. ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/46a35a/32.png) [@Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_T-Bonham.net)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2004, 9:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-really-hate-big-paper-clips/271563/38 "2004-10-29T09:35:03Z")
> [@Otto](#): > > I like little paper clips. I hate, hate, _hate_ big paper clips. Well, now we know that Otto isn’t a size queen. ---
**Author:** ![furlibusea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aca169/32.png) [@furlibusea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furlibusea)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2004, 11:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-really-hate-big-paper-clips/271563/39 "2004-10-29T11:30:10Z")
_originaly posted by_ **NoClueBoy** > [@](#): > > Paper clips are the larval stage of wire clothes hangers. > > Think about it! > > You can never find a paper clip when you really need one, and you always end up with more wire clothes hangers than you could ever possibly use. No I am sorry the larval stage is missing socks. There are not near enough ponchos in the world. Unless perhaps socks are the pupal stage… hmmm. Ok that works, but what is the egg stage? ---
**Author:** ![ZebraShaSha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/eada6e/32.png) [@ZebraShaSha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZebraShaSha)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2004, 11:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-really-hate-big-paper-clips/271563/40 "2004-10-29T11:40:57Z")
My nipples are aroused around large paper clips. Just saying… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-really-hate-big-paper-clips/271563.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-really-hate-big-paper-clips/271563.md?page=3)