# I really hate big paper clips **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 27, 2004, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-really-hate-big-paper-clips/271563 "2004-10-27T23:33:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Liz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/liz/32/17737_2.png) [@Liz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liz)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2004, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-really-hate-big-paper-clips/271563/41 "2004-10-29T18:56:10Z")
> [@bdgr](#): > > I esprecially hate the paper clips that tell me how to write my word documents. **Fuck** Clippit. I hate that annoying little bastard, especially when he gets all smarmy and taps on the screen to remind you he’s there. I _know_ you’re there, asshole! I didn’t ask you to pop up in the first place! ---
**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2004, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-really-hate-big-paper-clips/271563/42 "2004-10-29T18:58:13Z")
The Office Assistant! I love him! ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2004, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-really-hate-big-paper-clips/271563/43 "2004-10-29T19:05:41Z")
I hope you guys aren’t talking about paper clips in terms of clipping actual PAPERS. Because paper is so 1999, ya know. **tdn** has the right idea. I am gonna make a SPROING right now. Unfortunately I have no co-workers, so I will have to try to land it on my dog. ---
**Author:** ![Proudest\_Monkey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/proudest_monkey/32/13257_2.png) [@Proudest\_Monkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Proudest_Monkey)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2004, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-really-hate-big-paper-clips/271563/44 "2004-10-30T00:21:15Z")
Dear Abby, I love all paper clips–big ones, regular sized, coated, bulldog, mutant, plastic, talking. . . In fact, every day when I come home from school, I find that I have unconsciously stolen 3 or 4 paper clips by safely secreting them in my pocket. I place them lovingly in the tray on my dresser (where they multiply), vow to return them to my desk the following day, conveniently forget, rinse and repeat. In this way, I have singlehandedly bankrupted my school district’s office supply fund. I’ve considered counseling, but I could never get the paper clips to agree to attend the sessions with me. They just ignore me, happily collecting dust and mocking me with the occasional escape to the floor and vacuum cleaner tussle. My friends say our relationship is dysfunctional. Is it time to move on? Sign me . . . **Clipped and Questioning in ME** ---
**Author:** ![Ignatz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/3be4f8/32.png) [@Ignatz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ignatz)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2004, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-really-hate-big-paper-clips/271563/45 "2004-10-30T01:54:07Z")
I use only the large ones. I throw away all the small ones. But ridges, I don’t need no stinking ridges. BTW, I once worked for a boss (3-star military) who insisted that the smaller end of the paperclip be on the front of the clipped papers. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2004, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-really-hate-big-paper-clips/271563/46 "2004-10-30T02:32:19Z")
> [@Ignatz](#): > > . > > BTW, I once worked for a boss (3-star military) who insisted that the smaller end of the paperclip be on the front of the clipped papers. Why, that’s ridiculous! Eveyone knows you break the small end of the egg. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Shrinking\_Violet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@Shrinking\_Violet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shrinking_Violet)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2004, 8:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-really-hate-big-paper-clips/271563/47 "2004-10-30T08:24:28Z")
> [@Ignatz](#): > > BTW, I once worked for a boss (3-star military) who insisted that the smaller end of the paperclip be on the front of the clipped papers. There’s any other way? Small part of clip on the front = easier to flick through sheaf of papers, without losing too much of the top corner. C’mon … you can tell us … you been using them back-asswards all this time? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Ignatz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/3be4f8/32.png) [@Ignatz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ignatz)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2004, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-really-hate-big-paper-clips/271563/48 "2004-10-30T20:55:58Z")
> [@Shrinking Violet](#): > > There’s any other way? Small part of clip on the front = easier to flick through sheaf of papers, without losing too much of the top corner. > > C’mon … you can tell us … you been using them back-asswards all this time? 😃 No, I actually did adopt that system for the reasons you stated. Trust me, would I lie? ---
**Author:** ![easy\_e](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/eb8c5e/32.png) [@easy\_e](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/easy_e)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2004, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-really-hate-big-paper-clips/271563/49 "2004-10-30T23:47:35Z")
> [@NoClueBoy](#): > > Paper clips are the larval stage of wire clothes hangers. > > Think about it! > > You can never find a paper clip when you really need one, and you always end up with more wire clothes hangers than you could ever possibly use. > > Occam’s Razor, the Scientific Method, and Pretty People Who Don’t Sweat DEMAND that you accept this half assed theory as a Universal Axiom! That’s actually the basis of a sci-fi short story, “Or All the Seas with Oysters” by Avram Davidson. Except it’s safety pins rather than paper clips. It won the 1958 Hugo award for best short story. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2004, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-really-hate-big-paper-clips/271563/50 "2004-10-31T00:01:27Z")
> [@easy e](#): > > That’s actually the basis of a sci-fi short story, “Or All the Seas with Oysters” by Avram Davidson. Except it’s safety pins rather than paper clips. It won the 1958 Hugo award for best short story. Somewhere along the way, in my so called life as a Sci-Fi fanboy, I must have read that and had it leave a lasting impression. I knew I was taking it from somewhere, I just knew not where. ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2004, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-really-hate-big-paper-clips/271563/51 "2004-10-31T00:54:42Z")
IIRC Jerry Seinfeld had a routine about the whole paper clip/unidentified widget in the junk drawer/wire hanger life cycle, and also the odd sock life cycle (sometimes they don’t make it, ever see that abandoned sock on the side of the road?). ---
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2004, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-really-hate-big-paper-clips/271563/52 "2004-11-10T20:19:43Z")
> [@blowero](#): > > Wow, the OP could have been written by my boss, who also has a completely irrational aversion to big paper clips. When I first started my job, the office manager said not to use big paper clips, but to use those stupid black thingies, because the boss was “afraid” of big paper clips. No other explanation was given; just the nonsensical statement that he was “afraid” of them. The office manager seemed rather upset when I laughed. I want to sneak into this guy’s house while he’s sleeping and dump a huge bag of big paperclips onto his bed. 😃 [QUOTE=AHUNTER3] The purpose of big paper clips is the manual ejection of CDs when your CD drive goes wonky. It all dates back to the Macintosh floppy emergency eject pinhole, of course. Things like CDROM drives just followed suit when they came along. [QUOTE] Wow! I never noticed that little hole there before. You put it there didn’t you? (Looks around suspiciously.) Medium-sized Paperclips are Da Bomb. ---
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2004, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-really-hate-big-paper-clips/271563/53 "2004-11-10T20:21:49Z")
> [@blowero](#): > > Wow, the OP could have been written by my boss, who also has a completely irrational aversion to big paper clips. When I first started my job, the office manager said not to use big paper clips, but to use those stupid black thingies, because the boss was “afraid” of big paper clips. No other explanation was given; just the nonsensical statement that he was “afraid” of them. The office manager seemed rather upset when I laughed. I want to sneak into this guy’s house while he’s sleeping and dump a huge bag of big paperclips onto his bed. 😃 [QUOTE=AHUNTER3] The purpose of big paper clips is the manual ejection of CDs when your CD drive goes wonky. It all dates back to the Macintosh floppy emergency eject pinhole, of course. Things like CDROM drives just followed suit when they came along. [QUOTE] Wow! I never noticed that little hole there before. You put it there didn’t you? (Looks around suspicously.) Medium-sized Paperclips are Da Bomb. ---
**Author:** ![gotpasswords](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c57346/32.png) [@gotpasswords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gotpasswords)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2004, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-really-hate-big-paper-clips/271563/54 "2004-11-10T20:26:11Z")
> [@AHunter3](#): > > The purpose of big paper clips is the manual ejection of CDs when your CD drive goes wonky. And let’s not forget resetting confused Palms. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [November 10, 2004, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-really-hate-big-paper-clips/271563/55 "2004-11-10T20:41:42Z")
Some of best friends are big paper clips. Ok that is a little on the sad side. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Scrivener](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@The\_Scrivener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Scrivener)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2004, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-really-hate-big-paper-clips/271563/56 "2004-11-11T00:46:09Z")
> [@](#): > > Stoid, happy Clam Clip user since 1985. Oh my, that doesn’t sound kosher. Are those things removable? Reusable? ---
**Author:** ![TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tellmei_mnotcrazy/32/3419_2.png) [@TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TellMeI_mNotCrazy)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2004, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-really-hate-big-paper-clips/271563/57 "2004-11-11T02:00:25Z")
> [@gotpasswords](#): > > And let’s not forget resetting confused Palms. What sucks is when you don’t have one, and you start looking at the clip part of a ballpoint pen cap thinking… Suuure, that can fit in there no problem! ::maneuvers cap to an angle where just the very tip of the chiseled end is headed towards the reset button. In frustration, then uses thumbnail to try to whittle down the tip. Then realizes the stylus fits there fine. Smacks self upside head.:: ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2004, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-really-hate-big-paper-clips/271563/58 "2004-11-11T03:01:54Z")
The French call them “trombones.” That makes 'em seem _really_ big. ---
**Author:** ![Hoopy\_Frood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hoopy_frood/32/8452_2.png) [@Hoopy\_Frood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hoopy_Frood)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2004, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-really-hate-big-paper-clips/271563/59 "2004-11-11T03:38:22Z")
> [@furryman](#): > > I want to sneak into this guy’s house while he’s sleeping and dump a huge bag of big paperclips onto his bed. 😃 Easier and cheaper than a horse head. You could probably sprinkle some blood around the area for added effect. ---
**Author:** ![Dancing\_Fool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/59ef9b/32.png) [@Dancing\_Fool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dancing_Fool)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2004, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-really-hate-big-paper-clips/271563/60 "2004-11-11T03:42:15Z")
You’re all missing part of the life-cycle. It goes Paper-clips to wire coathangers as suggested. But then once the hangers have built up to critical mass, they merge and form a shopping trolley, which tries to migrate to the nearest shopping area to be with it’s mates. Unfortunately that’s a hard journey, and if you keep your eyes open you’ll see the sad remains of many a trolley that didn’t make it on the side of the road, in creeks, etc. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-really-hate-big-paper-clips/271563.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-really-hate-big-paper-clips/271563.md?page=4)