# I refuse to wash my car **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 30, 2001, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-refuse-to-wash-my-car/84668 "2001-09-30T22:24:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Jeremy\_s\_Evil\_Twin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Jeremy\_s\_Evil\_Twin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jeremy_s_Evil_Twin)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2001, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-refuse-to-wash-my-car/84668/1 "2001-09-30T22:24:39Z")
All right, so I haven’t washed my car in awhile. I’m lazy about that. I really didn’t think much about it until a few weeks ago, when an anonymous stranger wrote “WASH ME” in big bold letters on the trunk. A few days later, another “WASH ME” was written into the inch-thick dirt that I’m sure is preserving the paint. Well, I can take a hint. So I went to the gas station to get it washed, but their car wash was out of order. I didn’t want this mysterious dust-tagger to think I was ignoring him, so underneath one of the “WASH” messages on my trunk, I wrote, “I WILL!” But that wasn’t enough to placate this guy. The next morning, I found “WASH WASH WASH” written ALL OVER my car, on the doors, the fenders, the roof, the hood. He must have taken off at least half the dirt with his fingers alone! Well, that tears it. I’m having my car dedicated as a National Historic Landmark as the Dirtiest Car in America. It really is a work of art, man. Someday I’ll have it buried in a time capsule so it can be put on display in a museum sometime in 2300. ANYONE HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THAT??? ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2001, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-refuse-to-wash-my-car/84668/2 "2001-09-30T22:27:40Z")
Here in the UK, an ‘artist’ sold her bed as a piece of art. For a LOT of money. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2001, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-refuse-to-wash-my-car/84668/3 "2001-09-30T22:30:18Z")
I think you should refuse to wash your car simply on the basis that the guy who wrote in the dirt was painfully uncreative. When I wanted to entice my friend into washing his car, I wrote “I masturbate to goat porn” in big letters on his back window (he has a hatchback). Suffice to say, the next time I saw him, his car was a bit cleaner… ---
**Author:** ![Kamandi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5daacb/32.png) [@Kamandi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamandi)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2001, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-refuse-to-wash-my-car/84668/4 "2001-09-30T22:40:52Z")
Dirtiest car in the world, **Jeremy**? I don’t think so. You could plant potatoes in the dirt on my car. ---
**Author:** ![Czaoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Czaoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czaoth)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2001, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-refuse-to-wash-my-car/84668/5 "2001-09-30T23:56:48Z")
\<--------Lazy I never wash my car either 🙂 (1982 Volvo Wagon baby!). Once a month I hose it down in the morning. Let it air dry on my way to school. ---
**Author:** ![ladyfoxfyre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ad7895/32.png) [@ladyfoxfyre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ladyfoxfyre)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2001, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-refuse-to-wash-my-car/84668/6 "2001-10-01T00:18:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SPOOFE \* > \*\*When I wanted to entice my friend into washing his car, I wrote “I masturbate to goat porn” in big letters on his back window (he has a hatchback). Suffice to say, the next time I saw him, his car was a bit cleaner… \*\* Oh god. I read this and learned just how disgusting potato salad looks on my monitor. Seriously, that’s not cool at all, even if it is horrendously funny. Thanks **SPOOFE** :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![AwSnappity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a3d4f5/32.png) [@AwSnappity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AwSnappity)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2001, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-refuse-to-wash-my-car/84668/7 "2001-10-01T00:39:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ladyfoxfyre \*\*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by SPOOFE \* > > **When I wanted to entice my friend into washing his car, I wrote “I masturbate to goat porn” in big letters on his back window (he has a hatchback). Suffice to say, the next time I saw him, his car was a bit cleaner…** > > Oh god. I read this and learned just how disgusting potato salad looks on my monitor. Seriously, that’s not cool at all, even if it is horrendously funny. > > Thanks **SPOOFE** :rolleyes: \*\* **SPOOFE** ’s post was so disgusting it made **ladyfoxfyre** vomit! :eek: 😉 ---
**Author:** ![The\_Red\_Menace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/82dd89/32.png) [@The\_Red\_Menace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Red_Menace)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2001, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-refuse-to-wash-my-car/84668/8 "2001-10-01T00:42:44Z")
My high school friends once wrote “Go back to Russia” on my car (there’s some context there that’s not really worth the time to explain). I thought it was pretty funny, until of course my mom noted that some people might think that _I_ wanted the Russians living within the community to go back home, not that someone wanted _me_ to go back to Russia. Fortunately this was during winter so a new layer of dirt settled over the vehicle quick enough before I was forced to bite the bullet and get a car wash. ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2001, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-refuse-to-wash-my-car/84668/9 "2001-10-01T00:59:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by glee \* > \*\*Here in the UK, an ‘artist’ sold her bed as a piece of art. > For a LOT of money. :rolleyes: \*\* You forgot to mention the value added used condoms, soiled linens and empty vodka bottle she included at no extra charge in the five or six digit price. As an artist, please excuse me while I go vomit. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2001, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-refuse-to-wash-my-car/84668/10 "2001-10-01T01:10:38Z")
Can’t you just drive through a carwash-they still have those, right? When I was little, my parents used to do that, and I was terrified of them. When we went through the carwash, I would scream and scream. ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2001, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-refuse-to-wash-my-car/84668/11 "2001-10-01T01:34:43Z")
> [@](#): > > SPOOFE’s post was so disgusting it made ladyfoxfyre vomit! And it was one of my least-disgusting posts, too. I imagine if she ever read the TMI thread, she would explode… ---
**Author:** ![Rogue1stclass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ea666f/32.png) [@Rogue1stclass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rogue1stclass)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2001, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-refuse-to-wash-my-car/84668/12 "2001-10-01T01:39:02Z")
I finally just took the Dirk Gently way out and bought a new car… Basically, I got tired of battling the spiders over who was really supposed to sit in the front seat… ---
**Author:** ![gtzaskar00](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e9c0ed/32.png) [@gtzaskar00](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gtzaskar00)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2001, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-refuse-to-wash-my-car/84668/13 "2001-10-01T02:13:09Z")
I can’t wash my car. I am pretty certain the dirt is all that is holding it together. ---
**Author:** ![chique](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4491bb/32.png) [@chique](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chique)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2001, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-refuse-to-wash-my-car/84668/14 "2001-10-01T02:15:50Z")
Wash my **car**?? Isn’t that what rain is for? ---
**Author:** ![saepiroth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5ac83/32.png) [@saepiroth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saepiroth)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2001, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-refuse-to-wash-my-car/84668/15 "2001-10-01T02:17:33Z")
spoofe, i think i am going to use that… ohh, i love it… ---
**Author:** ![ladyfoxfyre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ad7895/32.png) [@ladyfoxfyre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ladyfoxfyre)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2001, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-refuse-to-wash-my-car/84668/16 "2001-10-01T03:45:31Z")
I didn’t quite vomit on the moniter, thankyouverymuch **FUB**. You get the idea 😛 Apparantly **Zenster** ’s vomiting as we speak. This is a truly grotesque thread :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![pesch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pesch/32/4925_2.png) [@pesch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pesch)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2001, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-refuse-to-wash-my-car/84668/17 "2001-10-01T04:07:35Z")
Well, talking about vomiting is better than talking about shoving things up the ole poop-chute. [sub]I guess[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2001, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-refuse-to-wash-my-car/84668/18 "2001-10-01T05:06:08Z")
Shaddap, Pesch. ---
**Author:** ![MrVisible](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/46a35a/32.png) [@MrVisible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrVisible)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2001, 6:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-refuse-to-wash-my-car/84668/19 "2001-10-01T06:05:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Guinastasia \* > \*\*Can’t you just drive through a carwash-they still have those, right? > > When I was little, my parents used to do that, and I was terrified of them. When we went through the carwash, I would scream and scream. \*\* You’re supposed to put the top up. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2001, 11:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-refuse-to-wash-my-car/84668/20 "2001-10-01T11:31:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Guinastasia \* > \*\*Can’t you just drive through a carwash-they still have those, right? > > When I was little, my parents used to do that, and I was terrified of them. When we went through the carwash, I would scream and scream. \*\* Look, if you hadn’t made such a fuss at bathtime, your parents wouldn’t have had to strap you to the hood… [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-refuse-to-wash-my-car/84668.md?page=2)