# I saw a drunk old man masturbate at Friday's! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 22, 2003, 8:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-saw-a-drunk-old-man-masturbate-at-fridays/163338 "2003-03-22T08:56:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![JavaMaven1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/cab0a1/32.png) [@JavaMaven1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JavaMaven1)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2003, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-saw-a-drunk-old-man-masturbate-at-fridays/163338/61 "2003-03-25T01:41:43Z")
Wow. A **SPOOFE** thread turns into a TMI fest. Who’d a thunk? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2003, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-saw-a-drunk-old-man-masturbate-at-fridays/163338/62 "2003-03-25T02:24:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SPOOFE \* > \*\*The clincher, however, was seeing a guy grab ahold of the bar, a minute later, to lean on it… only to pull his hand away a second later, stare at the fluid on his fingers in confusion, and then wipe his hand on his pants. People kept touching or leaning against this railing for the rest of the night. \*\* And you \just watched\. :smack: Man, that’s shameful. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2003, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-saw-a-drunk-old-man-masturbate-at-fridays/163338/63 "2003-03-25T02:26:06Z")
And I _just mis-coded_. gah. ---
**Author:** ![Monster104](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Monster104](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monster104)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2003, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-saw-a-drunk-old-man-masturbate-at-fridays/163338/64 "2003-03-25T02:36:45Z")
> [@](#): > > Maybe if I changed my user name to “Monster105”… Absolutely not! > [@](#): > > And you \ust watched\. This is Spoofe. He probably contributed to it. ---
**Author:** ![miamouse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ad7895/32.png) [@miamouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/miamouse)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2003, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-saw-a-drunk-old-man-masturbate-at-fridays/163338/65 "2003-03-25T15:16:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by juji\_mojo \* > \*\* (And I know the word for the particular stink. Melena… who googled it?) \*\* I did! I did! (well yahoo’d it anyway) And I got this: \* 1. Melena \_- Cuban percussionist … 2. Melena \_- Hace mucho tiempo, … 3. Mary Melena \_- MARY MELENA Something Passing Through… 4. melena - [AnsMe.com](http://AnsMe.com) Dictionary (define) \_- … Dictionary - melena. … Definition for melena. melena (noun) -. 1. abnormally dark tarry feces containing blood (usually from gastrointestinal … [define.ansme.com/words/m/melena.html](http://define.ansme.com/words/m/melena.html) \* I think I’d change my name. Also the “Something Passing Through” cracked me up. ---
**Author:** ![FaerieBeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e95f7d/32.png) [@FaerieBeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FaerieBeth)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2003, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-saw-a-drunk-old-man-masturbate-at-fridays/163338/66 "2003-03-25T15:49:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by juji\_mojo \* > \*\*_Momma dont let your babies grow up and wench donuts…_) > > \*\* You absolutely must add that to your sig line 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Ruby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/13edae/32.png) [@Ruby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruby)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2003, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-saw-a-drunk-old-man-masturbate-at-fridays/163338/67 "2003-03-25T17:52:29Z")
Does anyone else think it odd (in a good sort of way) that **dorkusmalorkusmafia** can concentrate well enough to pee whilst standing next to a homeless man jacking off? You are amazing, my friend! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![dorkusmalorkusmafia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dorkusmalorkusmafia/32/7266_2.png) [@dorkusmalorkusmafia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dorkusmalorkusmafia)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2003, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-saw-a-drunk-old-man-masturbate-at-fridays/163338/68 "2003-03-25T19:16:00Z")
Why thank you Ruby. I did peek but then again if someone is that blatant and obvious I always do. 😉 For what it is worth, I am not pee shy at all and that probably helped. I noticed many more people roaming into the stalls rather than the urinals than normal but I wasn’t the only one who was in the restroom with this creep. ---
**Author:** ![teela\_brown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d9b06d/32.png) [@teela\_brown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teela_brown)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2003, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-saw-a-drunk-old-man-masturbate-at-fridays/163338/69 "2003-03-25T19:28:34Z")
Once, when I was a young single woman and went out dancing a lot with friends, a group of us were crossing the lobby of a big hotel on our way to a nightclub. A young man was standing next to an escalator watching us, but only as we passed did we realize he was pressing his crotch onto the moving rubber handrail as he eyed nearby women. Ewww! I had forgotten all about that until I opened this thread. Unlike the old guy at Friday’s, though, I’m sure this guy did not rinse off the results of his humping. I pity the guests who came along and put their hands on that rail throughout that evening . . . ---
**Author:** ![juji\_mojo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7ea924/32.png) [@juji\_mojo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/juji_mojo)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2003, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-saw-a-drunk-old-man-masturbate-at-fridays/163338/70 "2003-03-25T19:31:10Z")
MMMMM…TMI…mmmmmm The old TMI thread was completely sick. I cant possibly compete, but as I once told my brother “You can’t gross me out. I see more disgusting things before nine a.m. than most people do all year.” ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2003, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-saw-a-drunk-old-man-masturbate-at-fridays/163338/71 "2003-03-25T19:35:36Z")
more sequential fun **I saw a drunk old man masturbate at Friday’s** _Time to start planning Chi-Dope again!_ ---
**Author:** ![El\_Marko](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/58956e/32.png) [@El\_Marko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Marko)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2003, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-saw-a-drunk-old-man-masturbate-at-fridays/163338/72 "2003-03-25T21:20:15Z")
Blaaaaaarrrggggg!!! _El Marko has just set the record for longest recorded on-line vomit_ I think I okay now… wait… Blaaaaaarrrggggg!!! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-saw-a-drunk-old-man-masturbate-at-fridays/163338.md?page=3)