# I saw Jesus on the bus today **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 12, 2001, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-saw-jesus-on-the-bus-today/72272 "2001-07-12T21:20:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![ChoosyChipsAndCeilingWhacks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c77e96/32.png) [@ChoosyChipsAndCeilingWhacks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChoosyChipsAndCeilingWhacks)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2001, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-saw-jesus-on-the-bus-today/72272/1 "2001-07-12T21:20:36Z")
He was a lot smaller than I thought he’d be. ---
**Author:** ![Amp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Amp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amp)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2001, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-saw-jesus-on-the-bus-today/72272/2 "2001-07-12T21:32:07Z")
Yeah, celebrities are like that. I’ve heard Tom Cruise is a lot shorter in person than he is made out be in the movies. ---
**Author:** ![Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bad_News_Baboon)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2001, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-saw-jesus-on-the-bus-today/72272/3 "2001-07-12T23:20:07Z")
proof positive that it was Jesus: I saw him on a bus here today, too. How else could he be in two places at once? ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2001, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-saw-jesus-on-the-bus-today/72272/4 "2001-07-12T23:40:37Z")
Maybe Jesus is like Santa Claus? ---
**Author:** ![Geobabe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/geobabe/32/3908_2.png) [@Geobabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geobabe)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2001, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-saw-jesus-on-the-bus-today/72272/5 "2001-07-12T23:41:25Z")
Last time I saw him, he was getting arrested for assaulting a federal officer. Be careful, he’s a dangerous man. ---
**Author:** ![ChoosyChipsAndCeilingWhacks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c77e96/32.png) [@ChoosyChipsAndCeilingWhacks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChoosyChipsAndCeilingWhacks)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2001, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-saw-jesus-on-the-bus-today/72272/6 "2001-07-12T23:53:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Bad News Baboon \* > \*\*proof positive that it was Jesus: > > I saw him on a bus here today, too. > > How else could he be in two places at once? > \*\* My Jesus was wearing jeans and a t-shirt with brown loafers and carrying a green backpack. What was your wearing? He didn’t perform any miracles, but he did give a kid who had no money 75 cents for bus fare. I thought that was a pretty nice thing for Jesus to do. -L ---
**Author:** ![ChoosyChipsAndCeilingWhacks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c77e96/32.png) [@ChoosyChipsAndCeilingWhacks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChoosyChipsAndCeilingWhacks)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2001, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-saw-jesus-on-the-bus-today/72272/7 "2001-07-12T23:56:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Geobabe \* > \*\*Last time I saw him, he was getting arrested for assaulting a federal officer. Be careful, he’s a dangerous man. \*\* Man, that’s just wrong. I mean, what kind of a meanie arrests JESUS for crying out loud!? ---
**Author:** ![dubs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d6d6ee/32.png) [@dubs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dubs)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2001, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-saw-jesus-on-the-bus-today/72272/8 "2001-07-13T00:03:20Z")
My Jesus was wearing jeans and a t-shirt with brown loafers and carrying a green backpack. What was your wearing? He didn’t perform any miracles, but he did give a kid who had no money 75 cents for bus fare. I thought that was a pretty nice thing for Jesus to do. -L \*\* [/QUOTE] I’d say that qualifies as at least a little miracle. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![TheLoadedDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/35a633/32.png) [@TheLoadedDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheLoadedDog)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2001, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-saw-jesus-on-the-bus-today/72272/9 "2001-07-13T00:10:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SexyWriter \* > \*\*Man, that’s just wrong. I mean, what kind of a meanie arrests JESUS for crying out loud!? > \*\* Hey, he’s got a _record_! The judge will probably go hard on him too. See what he copped last time? ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2001, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-saw-jesus-on-the-bus-today/72272/10 "2001-07-13T00:28:32Z")
Jesus is just a slob, like one of us. Well, not _me_. ---
**Author:** ![Geobabe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/geobabe/32/3908_2.png) [@Geobabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geobabe)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2001, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-saw-jesus-on-the-bus-today/72272/11 "2001-07-13T00:43:55Z")
[QUOTE] \*Originally posted by SexyWriter \* \*\* > [@](#): > > Man, that’s just wrong. I mean, what kind of a meanie arrests JESUS for crying out loud!? > > \*\* Well, I talked to the cop later, and he was a little traumatized by the whole experience, but he was just doing what he had to do. Then again, it’s not every day you get to take down Jesus, so it was kind of cool in a way. ---
**Author:** ![lno](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a8b319/32.png) [@lno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lno)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2001, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-saw-jesus-on-the-bus-today/72272/12 "2001-07-13T01:05:23Z")
Wait, is this the same Jesus shown [here](http://www.theonion.com/onion3417/abortion_clinic_attack.html) being escorted by a US Marshal after killing two and injuring seven in an abortion-clinic attack? If he got out of jail already, he clearly does move in mysterious ways. ---
**Author:** ![Lady\_Juliet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/cc9497/32.png) [@Lady\_Juliet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lady_Juliet)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2001, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-saw-jesus-on-the-bus-today/72272/13 "2001-07-13T01:05:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Guinastasia \* > \*\*Maybe Jesus is like Santa Claus? > \*\* Maybe Jesus _is_ Santa Claus. I mean, come on, Christmas is supposed to be his birthday after all. And when he’s not delivering presents, he can be commiting felonies, and riding the buses (ya know, considering it wouldn’t be very subtle of him to ride around with reindeer sometime other than xmas) It all just works out… ---
**Author:** ![Finagle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@Finagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Finagle)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2001, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-saw-jesus-on-the-bus-today/72272/14 "2001-07-13T01:50:14Z")
Did he get off at the crosswalk? ---
**Author:** ![Searching\_For\_Truth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4da419/32.png) [@Searching\_For\_Truth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Searching_For_Truth)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2001, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-saw-jesus-on-the-bus-today/72272/15 "2001-07-13T01:52:26Z")
Ack! That is so weird! I just left **Shogun Haircut** ’s house a while ago, and Jesus was there. **Catalyst** was there too, he’ll back me up. He piled in the hot tub with us (we filled it with an obscene amount of people) and he likes to do cannonballs in the shallow end. The saddest thing is I’m not even kidding. ---
**Author:** ![Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bad_News_Baboon)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2001, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-saw-jesus-on-the-bus-today/72272/16 "2001-07-13T02:09:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > What was your Jesus wearing? > \*\* (blushes) he was NEKKID! ---
**Author:** ![Searching\_For\_Truth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4da419/32.png) [@Searching\_For\_Truth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Searching_For_Truth)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2001, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-saw-jesus-on-the-bus-today/72272/17 "2001-07-13T02:11:53Z")
No, he had on black swim trunks! Silly! _shaking head_ Isn’t it neat? That be-anywhere-anytime thing? ---
**Author:** ![Tenar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/35a633/32.png) [@Tenar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tenar)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2001, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-saw-jesus-on-the-bus-today/72272/18 "2001-07-13T03:27:37Z")
You know that old Zen koan, “If you meet the Buddha on the road, kill him”? Does that apply to Jesus, too? ---
**Author:** ![Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bad_News_Baboon)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2001, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-saw-jesus-on-the-bus-today/72272/19 "2001-07-13T03:59:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Searching For Truth \* > \*\*No, he had on black swim trunks! Silly! > \*\* no. believe me. I know nekkid. and this was it. ---
**Author:** ![Nefarious\_Chipmunk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nefarious_chipmunk/32/1045_2.png) [@Nefarious\_Chipmunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nefarious_Chipmunk)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2001, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-saw-jesus-on-the-bus-today/72272/20 "2001-07-13T04:04:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SexyWriter \* > My Jesus was wearing jeans and a t-shirt with brown loafers and carrying a green backpack. What was your wearing? > > \*\* Man, you were gyped. When I saw Jesus on the bus, he was wearing a toga and a Burger King crown. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-saw-jesus-on-the-bus-today/72272.md?page=2)