# I saw Jesus on the bus today **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 12, 2001, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-saw-jesus-on-the-bus-today/72272 "2001-07-12T21:20:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![mdf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/dbc845/32.png) [@mdf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mdf)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2001, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-saw-jesus-on-the-bus-today/72272/21 "2001-07-13T05:03:58Z")
…but he’s bound for New Orleans. **[sub]If ya gotta have one stuck in yer head, that’s a good one[/sub]** -mdf ---
**Author:** ![11811](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/1/9d8465/32.png) [@11811](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/11811)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2001, 10:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-saw-jesus-on-the-bus-today/72272/22 "2001-07-13T10:44:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by mdf \* > \*\* …but he’s bound for New Orleans. > > **[sub]If ya gotta have one stuck in yer head, that’s a good one[/sub]** > > -mdf \*\* Have mercy, been waitin’ for the bus all day. ---
**Author:** ![ChoosyChipsAndCeilingWhacks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c77e96/32.png) [@ChoosyChipsAndCeilingWhacks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChoosyChipsAndCeilingWhacks)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2001, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-saw-jesus-on-the-bus-today/72272/23 "2001-07-13T12:55:11Z")
[QUOTE] \*Originally posted by heraldgwena \* \*\* > [@](#): > > Man, you were gyped. When I saw Jesus on the bus, he was wearing a toga and a Burger King crown. \*\* Dang. How come _I_ had to have the boring Jesus. Mine didn’t do canonballs or wear a crown or anything. He did SAY something interesting though, in response to a strange man telling a strange story behind me: “Ahhhh…the garden of rightiousness, where to weep is to learn.” I’m not making this up either. -L ---
**Author:** ![Geobabe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/geobabe/32/3908_2.png) [@Geobabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geobabe)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2001, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-saw-jesus-on-the-bus-today/72272/24 "2001-07-13T15:07:37Z")
Well, my Jesus was wearing bright orange pants, much like in the photo in the link **LNO** provided. He was wiry and scrappy. Dangerous yet somehow alluring, that’s my Jesus. ---
**Author:** ![manhattan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manhattan/32/7_2.png) [@manhattan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manhattan)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2001, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-saw-jesus-on-the-bus-today/72272/25 "2001-07-13T15:21:13Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Bad News Baboon_ > \*\*he was NEKKID! > \*\* > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SexyWriter \* > \*\*He was a lot smaller than I thought he’d be. \*\* This was a _lot_ more than I needed to know. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2001, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-saw-jesus-on-the-bus-today/72272/26 "2001-07-13T15:23:03Z")
Just wonderful – I read the subject line, and immediately the little tune starts up in my head: _Oh the Jesus on the bus goes “Bless, bless, bless.” “Bless, bless, bless.” “Bless, bless, bless.” The Jesus on the bus goes “Bless, bless, bless.” All over town._ I need to go take my medication now… ---
**Author:** ![mrblue92](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@mrblue92](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mrblue92)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2001, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-saw-jesus-on-the-bus-today/72272/27 "2001-07-13T15:26:50Z")
I was ridin’ back from Lubbock, I saw Jesus on the plane. Or maybe it was Elvis; you know they kinda look the same… ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2001, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-saw-jesus-on-the-bus-today/72272/28 "2001-07-13T15:42:55Z")
[QUOTE] \*\* > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by heraldgwena \* > “Ahhhh…the garden of rightiousness, where to weep is to learn.” > \*\* Wow, what a sig! Do any of your Jesuses, er Jesusi? post on the SD? ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2001, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-saw-jesus-on-the-bus-today/72272/29 "2001-07-13T15:50:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by manhattan \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > _Originally posted by Bad News Baboon_ > > \*\*he was NEKKID! > > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by SexyWriter \* > > \*\*He was a lot smaller than I thought he’d be. \*\* > > This was a _lot_ more than I needed to know. \*\* I assume he was circumcised… ---
**Author:** ![Albert\_Rose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9de053/32.png) [@Albert\_Rose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Albert_Rose)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2001, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-saw-jesus-on-the-bus-today/72272/30 "2001-07-13T16:13:42Z")
Blasphemers! The lot of you! Abomination! ---
**Author:** ![ChoosyChipsAndCeilingWhacks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c77e96/32.png) [@ChoosyChipsAndCeilingWhacks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChoosyChipsAndCeilingWhacks)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2001, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-saw-jesus-on-the-bus-today/72272/31 "2001-07-13T16:54:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by AlbertRose \* > \*\*Blasphemers! The lot of you! Abomination! \*\* What, now it’s MY fault Jesus was on the bus? You want I should kick him off next time I see him? ---
**Author:** ![magdalene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@magdalene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/magdalene)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2001, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-saw-jesus-on-the-bus-today/72272/32 "2001-07-13T20:56:33Z")
[QUOTE] \*Originally posted by TheLoadedDog \* \*\* > [@](#): > > Hey, he’s got a _record_! The judge will probably go hard on him too. See what he copped last time? \*\* Ha! And people think that the death penalty is supposed to discourage repeat offenders. Jesus lives in my neighborhood. He’s at least 3 of the 5 Latino kids who set off firecrackers in the alley behind my house. ---
**Author:** ![gooti](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/eb8c5e/32.png) [@gooti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gooti)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2001, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-saw-jesus-on-the-bus-today/72272/33 "2001-07-13T21:10:36Z")
If he didn’t look something like [this](http://www.bbc.co.uk/birmingham/news/032001/27/jesus.shtml), then it wasn’t really him…Sorry if I burst your bubble. ;j ---
**Author:** ![Catalyst](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e47774/32.png) [@Catalyst](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catalyst)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2001, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-saw-jesus-on-the-bus-today/72272/34 "2001-07-13T21:14:52Z")
> [@](#): > > Ack! That is so weird! > > I just left **Shogun Haircut’s** house a while ago, and Jesus was there. **Catalyst** was there too, he’ll back me up. He piled in the hot tub with us (we filled it with an obscene amount of people) and he likes to do cannonballs in the shallow end. > > The saddest thing is I’m not even kidding. Yes, we did indeed have a pool party with Jesus. He enjoys doing cannonballs over people’s heads and dumping bags of ice into full (when I say full I mean eleven people in a two-seater) hot tubs. I tried to get him to do the walking on water trick, but it wasn’t in His Plan[sup]TM[/sup]. ---
**Author:** ![Katisha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bcef8e/32.png) [@Katisha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Katisha)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2001, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-saw-jesus-on-the-bus-today/72272/35 "2001-07-13T21:21:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lady Juliet \* > \*\*Maybe Jesus _is_ Santa Claus. I mean, come on, Christmas is supposed to be his birthday after all. \*\* He celebrates His birthday Hobbit-style! That’s my happy thought for the day. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2001, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-saw-jesus-on-the-bus-today/72272/36 "2001-07-13T21:29:11Z")
[King Missle] Jesus was way cool. He walked on the water and swam on the land. [/King Missle] ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2001, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-saw-jesus-on-the-bus-today/72272/37 "2001-07-13T21:55:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jarbabyj \* > \*\*[King Missle] > > Jesus was way cool. He walked on the water and swam on the land. > > [/King Missle] \*\* King Missle! jarbay, I knew I loved you for some reason. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Searching\_For\_Truth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4da419/32.png) [@Searching\_For\_Truth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Searching_For_Truth)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2001, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-saw-jesus-on-the-bus-today/72272/38 "2001-07-14T15:54:47Z")
EW! Ew! Did anyone go to that link **gooti** had? Oh my God! I think I’ll stick my with mental pictures of Jesus instead. He looked like a caveman in that picture! Yikes! A little bit of Jesus goes a long way. It’s good to know he gets around. ---
**Author:** ![wayward](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a87d85/32.png) [@wayward](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wayward)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2001, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-saw-jesus-on-the-bus-today/72272/39 "2001-07-15T15:55:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lady Juliet \* > Maybe Jesus _is_ Santa Claus. I mean, come on, Christmas is supposed to be his birthday after all. \*\* Pfff. Why would Jesus want to give everyone else presents on his birthday? If I was Jesus I’d sit on my fat holy ass and demand that everyone in the world gives _me_ presents, or else burn in hell for all eternity. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-saw-jesus-on-the-bus-today/72272.md?page=1)