# I saw Mommy punching Santa Claus . . . A Xmas story **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 19, 2006, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-saw-mommy-punching-santa-claus-a-xmas-story/384828 "2006-12-19T20:36:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Pixiesnix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/898d66/32.png) [@Pixiesnix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixiesnix)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2006, 6:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-saw-mommy-punching-santa-claus-a-xmas-story/384828/21 "2006-12-23T06:12:08Z")
Did you ask him nicely? ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2006, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-saw-mommy-punching-santa-claus-a-xmas-story/384828/22 "2006-12-23T16:17:45Z")
[QUOTE=Otto] My last trip to Santa’s lap was in my late 20s, with my best friend. Never too old for a campy picture on Santa’s lap. Santa didn’t call us bitches, though. [/QUOTE] Yeah, but “Ho, ho, ho!” could be interpreted differently if there were three of you. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2006, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-saw-mommy-punching-santa-claus-a-xmas-story/384828/23 "2006-12-23T17:18:55Z")
[QUOTE=Pixiesnix] What were two young-teen girls doing sitting on Santa’s lap in the first place? Isn’t that age a bit too old? [/QUOTE] That is the only job benefit of being a Santa. ---
**Author:** ![Moe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moe/32/2972_2.png) [@Moe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moe)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2006, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-saw-mommy-punching-santa-claus-a-xmas-story/384828/24 "2006-12-23T21:54:23Z")
[QUOTE=Billdo] Last weekend there was some sort of event where dozens of guys in Santa suits were running around the City. I saw a whole flock of them by Lincoln Center in the afternoon, dashing into Barnes & Noble to use the bathrooms. Later, in the early evening there were several of the Santas stumbling around 14th Street, obviously well into the Christmas cheer. The most amusing was this drunken Santa was arguing with this girl in striped elf hose about whether or not she was going to go home with him, she adamantly insisting that he had promised that he would, and he contending that even if he had said he would earlier, he was under no obligation to do so now. After seeing several rounds of this as we were picking up flowers in the deli they were battling outside, we left before the final resolution, picking our way about the weaving red suits. [/QUOTE] Yep, saw it too. It was Santa Con (or at least that’s what one of the Santas told me when I asked), setting new standards of geekiness for subcultural conventions. I saw them hanging out on W. 44th at around 2pmish. I actually have a bad cellphone pic, but I don’t know yet how to get data off my phone. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2006, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-saw-mommy-punching-santa-claus-a-xmas-story/384828/25 "2006-12-23T22:50:20Z")
Methinks we should be provided with pictures of the two girls such that an independent judgement can be reached regarding whether or not they will be nice bitches. Purely in the interest of objectivity. What? ---
**Author:** ![Pixiesnix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/898d66/32.png) [@Pixiesnix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixiesnix)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2006, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-saw-mommy-punching-santa-claus-a-xmas-story/384828/26 "2006-12-24T04:26:00Z")
Well, shows what I know. FWIW, I still think this story came out of Santa’s reindeer stalls. ---
**Author:** ![Tazmanian\_Devil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cc9497/32.png) [@Tazmanian\_Devil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tazmanian_Devil)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2006, 12:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-saw-mommy-punching-santa-claus-a-xmas-story/384828/27 "2006-12-24T12:13:37Z")
[QUOTE=swampbear] **Eve** if you can script this, I foresee next Christmas’s blockbuster Lifetime Movie. You even have the perfect title! [/QUOTE] And you can use [this song](http://www.amiright.com/parody/misc/jimmyboyd1.shtml) as the movie’s theme song… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Griffin-Kentzel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_griffin-kentzel/32/14787_2.png) [@Larry\_Griffin-Kentzel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Griffin-Kentzel)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2006, 7:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-saw-mommy-punching-santa-claus-a-xmas-story/384828/28 "2006-12-25T07:45:15Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by **swampbear** _ > > . . . You even have the perfect title! She always does. 🙂 \*\* \*\* ---
**Author:** ![Geobabe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/geobabe/32/3908_2.png) [@Geobabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geobabe)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2006, 11:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-saw-mommy-punching-santa-claus-a-xmas-story/384828/29 "2006-12-25T11:41:00Z")
[QUOTE=Moe] I actually have a bad cellphone pic, but I don’t know yet how to get data off my phone. [/QUOTE] You should be able to email it to yourself–tell the phone to send the picture, but put it into abc instead of number entry mode and put in your email address. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2006, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-saw-mommy-punching-santa-claus-a-xmas-story/384828/30 "2006-12-25T16:40:52Z")
**Eve** , did you get the name of the mall it happened at? Its possible some of us may be able to dig deeper than others to get the details. It was a NJ mall, yes…? PS- If you want to use first initial, fine, but in the case of ‘W’, please at least give us a ‘Wi’ or a ‘Wo’. (Why oh why am I thinking it was ‘Wi’…?) ---
**Author:** ![Don26](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/edb3f5/32.png) [@Don26](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don26)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2006, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-saw-mommy-punching-santa-claus-a-xmas-story/384828/31 "2006-12-26T05:39:03Z")
After a dozen phone calls asking what I was doing that Christmas Eve, with me responding each time with: “Taking the kid to see the fat bastard” I took my adorable 4 yr old to the mall, after an hour and a half in line, he climbed up on Santa’s lap and in full voice exclaimed, “You are a FAT BASTARD” Santa said he hadn’t laughed that hard in years ---
**Author:** ![Celyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9dc877/32.png) [@Celyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Celyn)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2006, 7:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-saw-mommy-punching-santa-claus-a-xmas-story/384828/32 "2006-12-26T07:36:54Z")
But did he eat all the pies? 🙂 > [@](#): > > ``` > Who ate all the pies? > Who ate all the pies? > You fat bastard, > You fat bastard, > You ate all the pies! > > ``` > **[Who Ate All the Pies?](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Who_ate_all_the_pies%3F)** > > "Who Ate All the Pies?" is a football chant sung by fans in the UK. It is usually sung to the tune of "Knees Up Mother Brown" and is aimed at overweight footballers, officials or other supporters. The chant was first sung in 1894 by Sheffield United supporters, and directed at the club's goalkeeper William "Fatty" Foulke, who weighed over 300 lb (140 kg). In his early career he played for Blackwell Colliery, subsequently playing for Sheffield United and Chelsea FC. If the tune used was Knees up ... ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2006, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-saw-mommy-punching-santa-claus-a-xmas-story/384828/33 "2006-12-26T19:02:05Z")
I grilled my coworker (“Wouldn’t they have called the mall cops?” “How could they have known that quickly she had outstanding warrants?” “I’ll bet it’s an urban legend.”) and he swears up and down it really happened and says after the holiday season is over it might get some press. I remain dubious. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-saw-mommy-punching-santa-claus-a-xmas-story/384828.md?page=1)