# I say, Doorhinge, old chap... **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 7, 2016, 11:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-say-doorhinge-old-chap/751420 "2016-04-07T11:29:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2016, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-say-doorhinge-old-chap/751420/41 "2016-04-08T13:43:54Z")
I say, Stainless, old sod, I had no idea that you were bilingual. Simply too ripping for words! ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2016, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-say-doorhinge-old-chap/751420/42 "2016-04-08T13:49:56Z")
Riveting tale, sir. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2016, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-say-doorhinge-old-chap/751420/43 "2016-04-08T14:24:59Z")
> [@Princhester](#): > > Now ladies and gentleman; please! > > I did not start this thread to see you all blackguard poor Mister **Doorhinge** so. That was not my purpose at all. Dear oh dear what have I started. I never for a moment thought that by opening a thread here merely to give that good man a tiny hint - from one gentleman to another - of how he might be able to improve himself a little, he would find himself set upon from all sides by you _insufferable_ cads. > > How am I ever going to look Mister **Doorhinge** in the eye again? Will he be able to forgive me? You won’t, and he won’t, for your egregious and repeated failure to lower-case the ‘d’ in his screen name. Gets right shirty about that, he does. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2016, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-say-doorhinge-old-chap/751420/44 "2016-04-08T19:36:05Z")
> [@Princhester](#): > > How am I ever going to look Mister **Doorhinge** in the eye again? Will he be able to forgive me? I do believe, old son, that you two can amicably reconcile were you to undress and bask yourself in honey beforehand. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2016, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-say-doorhinge-old-chap/751420/45 "2016-04-08T19:58:58Z")
> [@Knowed\_Out](#): > > I do believe, old son, that you two can amicably reconcile were you to undress and bask yourself in honey beforehand. I say, Old Chap, is that sort of thing truly called for? It simply isn’t the English Thing, you know. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2016, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-say-doorhinge-old-chap/751420/46 "2016-04-08T20:03:52Z")
Yeah, use treacle instead. ---
**Author:** ![Lobohan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobohan/32/79_2.png) [@Lobohan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobohan)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2016, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-say-doorhinge-old-chap/751420/47 "2016-04-08T20:08:57Z")
Have we not a burden, imposed upon from divine providence, to uplift the Doorhinges among us, and provide them gainful employ sweeping the gutters, or as a warm and welcoming pucker, ready to provide succor to sailors just back from sea? ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2016, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-say-doorhinge-old-chap/751420/48 "2016-04-08T20:24:28Z")
> [@Lobohan](#): > > Have we not a burden, imposed upon from divine providence, to uplift the Doorhinges among us, and provide them gainful employ sweeping the gutters, or as a warm and welcoming pucker, ready to provide succor to sailors just back from sea? Were you desirous of learning something, Old Sod, or did you arrive to harangue the present company at length? ---
**Author:** ![Lobohan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobohan/32/79_2.png) [@Lobohan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobohan)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2016, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-say-doorhinge-old-chap/751420/49 "2016-04-08T20:30:17Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > Were you desirous of learning something, Old Sod, or did you arrive to harangue the present company at length? Uh, if you were my wife, I’d drink it! ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2016, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-say-doorhinge-old-chap/751420/50 "2016-04-08T22:37:52Z")
> [@Lobohan](#): > > Uh, if you were my wife, I’d drink it! “I wish I’d said that.” “Don’t worry, Winston, you will!” ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2016, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-say-doorhinge-old-chap/751420/51 "2016-04-08T23:10:01Z")
INsufferable. That means more than sufferable, right? ---
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2016, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-say-doorhinge-old-chap/751420/52 "2016-04-08T23:12:28Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > He’s very strange. His debating style is to keep repeating whatever it is he’s saying. The gentlemen at my club all being devotees of P.G. Wodehouse, we well know the tale of the distraught lover who seeks to rid himself of the mementos of his shattered dreams. Having assembled the painful photographs, letters, and trinkets all into a tidy parcel, he ventures forth to the beach and flings the loathsome objects forever out to the sea. Into this simple finality there now appears the very personification of **Doorhinge** , in the form of a large and hairy dog. The dog bounds out to sea, retrieves the parcel, and deposits it once more in the possession of our distraught hero. And as the parcel is flung out again and again, it is returned with equal speed, and the resemblance to\*\* Doorhinge\*\* is unmistakable in the hairy dog’s expression of genial imbecility as he once again proffers the parcel to the anguished victim of his adoring ministrations, a repetition that the dog seems willing to undertake in perpetuity, having no other thoughts to occupy him. > [@Frank](#): > > “I wish I’d said that.” > > “Don’t worry, Winston, you will!” Madam, tomorrow I shall be sober, but **Doorhinge** will still be pontificating that climate science has fooled no one. ---
**Author:** ![dasmoocher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dbc845/32.png) [@dasmoocher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dasmoocher)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2016, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-say-doorhinge-old-chap/751420/53 "2016-04-08T23:14:27Z")
> [@Princhester](#): > > And besides which, Hitler wasn’t such a bad chap. That’s right! He did kill Hitler, after all. ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2016, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-say-doorhinge-old-chap/751420/54 "2016-04-08T23:49:18Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > Is THAT what he was going for? > > My fault, I guess, for thinking it’s supposed to be pronounced _d’erple_. Roses are red, Violets are purple; He says Doorhinge, But we know him as D’erple. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2016, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-say-doorhinge-old-chap/751420/55 "2016-04-09T02:47:07Z")
> [@Lobohan](#): > > Uh, if you were my wife, I’d drink it! That is rather confusing, Old Chap. Have you perhaps been imbibing? We all make mistakes when we are in our cups, Old Man. Nothing to be ashamed off, very strong coffee in the morning, Old Boy! ---
**Author:** ![oft\_wears\_hats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/7993a0/32.png) [@oft\_wears\_hats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/oft_wears_hats)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2016, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-say-doorhinge-old-chap/751420/56 "2016-04-09T04:04:13Z")
> [@wolfpup](#): > > The gentlemen at my club all being devotees of P.G. Wodehouse, we well know the tale of the distraught lover who seeks to rid himself of the mementos of his shattered dreams. Having assembled the painful photographs, letters, and trinkets all into a tidy parcel, he ventures forth to the beach and flings the loathsome objects forever out to the sea. > > Into this simple finality there now appears the very personification of **Doorhinge** , in the form of a large and hairy dog. The dog bounds out to sea, retrieves the parcel, and deposits it once more in the possession of our distraught hero. And as the parcel is flung out again and again, it is returned with equal speed, and the resemblance to\*\* Doorhinge\*\* is unmistakable in the hairy dog’s expression of genial imbecility as he once again proffers the parcel to the anguished victim of his adoring ministrations, a repetition that the dog seems willing to undertake in perpetuity, having no other thoughts to occupy him. > Madam, tomorrow I shall be sober, but **Doorhinge** will still be pontificating that climate science has fooled no one. I say, what a vivid picture, old bean. I was rather thinking the same thing, though I doubt that I could have expressed it quite as adeptly as you have. One change, though: I see the Honorable Mister Doorhinge as more of a tiny, yippy dog. The kind that never goes away after you start playing fetch with it. Adorably overflowing with pride that it has found and returned the tiny ball so effortlessly thrown by its master, yet gargantuan compared to the size of its little jaws. Do you all think, perhaps, we could just stop throwing the ball and Good Boy Doorhinge would eventually wander off in search of a new master? ---
**Author:** ![Irishman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b487fb/32.png) [@Irishman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Irishman)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2016, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-say-doorhinge-old-chap/751420/57 "2016-04-09T04:25:46Z")
> [@El\_Kabong](#): > > This. He seems to think that if he pretends to not understand what people are talking about, then he somehow wins the argument. > > Or maybe he really doesn’t have a clue what people are talking about. Whatever. Troll is as troll does. > [@dasmoocher](#): > > That’s right! He did kill Hitler, after all. Good one! ---
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2016, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-say-doorhinge-old-chap/751420/58 "2016-04-09T22:11:36Z")
> [@oft\_wears\_hats](#): > > I say, what a vivid picture, old bean. I was rather thinking the same thing, though I doubt that I could have expressed it quite as adeptly as you have. > > One change, though: I see the Honorable Mister Doorhinge as more of a tiny, yippy dog. The kind that never goes away after you start playing fetch with it. Adorably overflowing with pride that it has found and returned the tiny ball so effortlessly thrown by its master, yet gargantuan compared to the size of its little jaws. Do you all think, perhaps, we could just stop throwing the ball and Good Boy Doorhinge would eventually wander off in search of a new master? Quite so, old sport, and a capital idea, that. I see now that in characterizing Mr. **Doorhinge** ’s _persona_ as one of genial imbecility I’ve made something of a floater. Imbecility, yes, we find that in abundance. But you are quite correct in surmising that **Doorhinge** is no more genial than one of those malevolent yipping little ankle-biters, turned sullen and vicious by years of being scorned and kicked about by their masters, and taunted with impunity not only by their refined canine betters but by the neighbourhood stray cats. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2016, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-say-doorhinge-old-chap/751420/59 "2016-04-09T22:56:12Z")
> [@wolfpup](#): > > no more genial than one of those malevolent yipping little ankle-biters, turned sullen and vicious by years of being scorned and kicked about by their masters, A Frenchman then, Old Sport? ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2016, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-say-doorhinge-old-chap/751420/60 "2016-04-10T01:59:21Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > A Frenchman then, Old Sport? Were he French, the gentleman’s moniker would be pronounced dor-AHNZH. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-say-doorhinge-old-chap/751420.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-say-doorhinge-old-chap/751420.md?page=4)