# I Screwed Up And I Apologize **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 25, 2004, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-screwed-up-and-i-apologize/271104 "2004-10-25T20:05:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Metacom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecae2f/32.png) [@Metacom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Metacom)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2004, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-screwed-up-and-i-apologize/271104/21 "2004-10-25T20:47:33Z")
Funny, and not really that gross by my standards. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2004, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-screwed-up-and-i-apologize/271104/22 "2004-10-25T20:48:54Z")
> [@ParentalAdvisory](#): > > … to take the stick out of their ass. Is this a good time to mention kabobs? ---
**Author:** ![Rufus\_Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@Rufus\_Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rufus_Xavier)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2004, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-screwed-up-and-i-apologize/271104/23 "2004-10-25T20:53:29Z")
I echo most of what has been said already: funny, but too much detail. You need an editor. After a while I was reminded uncomfortably of the hideous real-life Albert Fish, a man who I promise is not someone you would ever want brought to mind. ---
**Author:** ![Helen\_s\_Eidolon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Helen\_s\_Eidolon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helen_s_Eidolon)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2004, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-screwed-up-and-i-apologize/271104/24 "2004-10-25T20:59:45Z")
Thanks for the apology, **Doc**. I know you didn’t mean it in any offensive way, but I do appreciate that you can see how others would be offended, whether or not you meant it that way. ---
**Author:** ![shamrock227](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@shamrock227](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shamrock227)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2004, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-screwed-up-and-i-apologize/271104/25 "2004-10-25T21:01:18Z")
Another “me too” post. Gross and way too detailed. However, _obviously_ a joke. That was a give out an “eeewwwwww” and move on moment. ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2004, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-screwed-up-and-i-apologize/271104/26 "2004-10-25T21:01:19Z")
> [@lieu](#): > > Is this a good time to mention kabobs? Any time’s a good time to mention people-kabobs. If it’s good enough for Vlad, it’s good enough for me! ---
**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2004, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-screwed-up-and-i-apologize/271104/27 "2004-10-25T21:09:26Z")
> [@Ponder Stibbons](#): > > Any time’s a good time to mention people-kabobs. If it’s good enough for Vlad, it’s good enough for me! Christ, you people are disgusting! Next thing you know, someone will be talking about eating children or something! ---
**Author:** ![UrbanChic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9dc877/32.png) [@UrbanChic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UrbanChic)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2004, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-screwed-up-and-i-apologize/271104/28 "2004-10-25T21:15:58Z")
I thought it was funny and disturbing and creative. Anyone who wouldn’t want you playing with their kids after reading that post is way to overprotective and needs to grow a sense of humor. I can understand, what with the level of detail and all, why someone wouldn’t find it funny but I can’t understand how someone wouldn’t get that it was a joke. ---
**Author:** ![Geobabe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/geobabe/32/3908_2.png) [@Geobabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geobabe)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2004, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-screwed-up-and-i-apologize/271104/29 "2004-10-25T21:17:09Z")
**Doc** , I don’t think you need to worry about parents thinking you actually want to eat their children, but thank you for offering the apology. I’m pretty sure everyone recognized that it was a joke, it was just that it was a bit too over-the-top for some people. You don’t have to think that something is serious to be offended or disgusted by it. ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2004, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-screwed-up-and-i-apologize/271104/30 "2004-10-25T21:20:42Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > You can hang out with my kids at Dopefest any time. > > Except if you’re in charge of the BBQ! 😃 Don’t worry about it. People are treif. Doc keeps kosher. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2004, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-screwed-up-and-i-apologize/271104/31 "2004-10-25T21:44:04Z")
Look at the context. The other posters in the thread came in expecting a thread full of nurturing and support, and a place where they could share the feelings that having children have brought out in them. In that mood, detailed cannibalism of children is especially shocking, and provokes a strong defensive reaction from their parental instincts. Additionally, the post was more disturbing than I had intended. Most people find the last paragraph especially disgusting. The combined effect of that and the context of the thread means that I went too far. I don’t think that any Dopers seriously believe that I will kill and eat their kids at a Dopefest. But, I am worried that they may believe I am unfit to be around them-that I will terrify them so badly that they will have nightmares for weeks, that I may discuss inappropriate things with them, or simply that my judgement and conduct will be unsafe (‘Why, of course it’s safe to eat lightbulbs Timmy. Didn’t you see a guy do it on tv?’). ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2004, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-screwed-up-and-i-apologize/271104/32 "2004-10-25T21:46:50Z")
> [@DocCathode](#): > > Reviews have been unanimous in that I overdid it Well, not unanimous. But I’m pretty hard to offend. ---
**Author:** ![SkipMagic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skipmagic/32/20706_2.png) [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2004, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-screwed-up-and-i-apologize/271104/33 "2004-10-25T22:03:08Z")
If it helps: [How to prepare kittens](http://www.livejournal.com/community/sdmb/270611.html?thread=2570259#t2570259). ---
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2004, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-screwed-up-and-i-apologize/271104/34 "2004-10-25T22:03:21Z")
> [@](#): > > I don’t think that any Dopers seriously believe that I will kill and eat their kids at a Dopefest. But, I am worried that they may believe I am unfit to be around them-that I will terrify them so badly that they will have nightmares for weeks, that I may discuss inappropriate things with them, or simply that my judgement and conduct will be unsafe ('Why, of course it’s safe to eat lightbulbs Timmy. Didn’t you see a guy do it on tv? I’m not nearly as nice as you are. Firstly, I like sick humor, so I got a chuckle out of your post. Secondly, people nead to unpucker. Thirdly, I would have told people sorry, it was a joke, do try to get over it; and if they hassled me further, to kiss my ass. But like I said, I’m not nearly as nice as you are. ---
**Author:** ![Standup\_Karmic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@Standup\_Karmic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Standup_Karmic)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2004, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-screwed-up-and-i-apologize/271104/35 "2004-10-25T22:05:57Z")
**Doc** , I agree with your post of today that the filthy, disgusting post about children as food was way over the top, and I am deeply offended, hurt, and brought to revulsion. You are clearly the most disgusting poster that exists on this Board. How would you like it if we talked about eating your eyes? That’s right, pal; your eyes…braised…tossed in a lovely tarragon cream sauce peppered ever so lightly with a mere hint of fresh mint leaves. Yeah, and on the side, maybe we’ll have mashed buttocks…with roasted garlic…and…and…and we’ll drink that clear fluid (I forget what it’s called) that comes out when you pinch a zit too hard. Yeah, we’ll drink that stuff. Huh? How do you feel about that!! Anyway…I thought your post was amusing. Geez…so they were terribly offended and revulsed, but read through to the very end so that they could be especially revulsed by the last paragraph about dessert? Bullshit, people. You had a sick compulsion to read through the entire thing, _just so_ you could be offended by the last paragraph. You’re the offensive ones, ya filthy bastards! ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2004, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-screwed-up-and-i-apologize/271104/36 "2004-10-25T22:06:03Z")
> [@DocCathode](#): > > I don’t think that any Dopers seriously believe that I will kill and eat their kids at a Dopefest. But, I am worried that they may believe I am unfit to be around them-that I will terrify them so badly that they will have nightmares for weeks, that I may discuss inappropriate things with them, or simply that my judgement and conduct will be unsafe (‘Why, of course it’s safe to eat lightbulbs Timmy. Didn’t you see a guy do it on tv?’). I don’t see us being a Dopefest at the same time anytime soon, but I’d let you make funny faces at my boy. I can’t conclude from that post that you’d hurt a child or teach them anything inappropriate, and I can’t imagine that anyone else would either. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2004, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-screwed-up-and-i-apologize/271104/37 "2004-10-25T22:13:40Z")
> [@Standup Karmic](#): > > Anyway…I thought your post was amusing. Geez…so they were terribly offended and revulsed, but read through to the very end so that they could be especially revulsed by the last paragraph about dessert? Bullshit, people. You had a sick compulsion to read through the entire thing, _just so_ you could be offended by the last paragraph. You’re the offensive ones, ya filthy bastards! I disagree. I think the folks in that thread saw most of the post as ranging between bordeline to mildly offensive and disgusting. But, the last paragraph is more detailed than the others. So, it changed their views to ranging between offensive and disgusting to very offensive and disgusting. ---
**Author:** ![kimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f0a364/32.png) [@kimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kimera)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2004, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-screwed-up-and-i-apologize/271104/38 "2004-10-25T22:17:38Z")
I thought it was hilarious, but to each their own. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2004, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-screwed-up-and-i-apologize/271104/39 "2004-10-25T22:22:12Z")
> [@GingerOfTheNorth](#): > > Don’t worry about it. People are treif. Doc keeps kosher. Really? (Checks) Hmmm, no split hooves, no scales or shells, skin peels cleanly off (at least it does while skateboarding). Are you sure people aren’t kosher? I mean, if it was toddler avec fromage, you’d be absolutely correct. But what about a nice gefilte babe? (Yes, for those of you pre-stickectomy, I’m still kidding!) And sorry, DocCathode, I still refuse to allow you the daily allowance of guilt and penance on my behalf…but I’m glad you’re offering an apology to those who feel entitled to one. As other posters have said, you’re a better man than I. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2004, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-screwed-up-and-i-apologize/271104/40 "2004-10-25T22:24:45Z")
Bullshit. Your post was hilarious, and I don’t think you should be apologizing. Maybe, just _maybe_ your last paragraph was a little OTT, but has some serious parallels with the genius who went before you: > [@](#): > > I have been assured by a very knowing American of my acquaintance in London, that a young healthy child well nursed is at a year old a most delicious, nourishing, and wholesome food, whether stewed, roasted, baked, or boiled; and I make no doubt that it will equally serve in a fricassee or a ragout. > … > A child will make two dishes at an entertainment for friends; and when the family dines alone, the fore or hind quarter will make a reasonable dish, and seasoned with a little pepper or salt will be very good boiled on the fourth day, especially in winter. > … > I believe no gentleman would repine to give ten shillings for the carcass of a good fat child, which, as I have said, will make four dishes of excellent nutritive meat, when he hath only some particular friend or his own family to dine with him. Thus the squire will learn to be a good landlord, and grow popular among his tenants; the mother will have eight shillings net profit, and be fit for work till she produces another child. > … > Those who are more thrifty (as I must confess the times require) may flay the carcass; the skin of which artificially dressed will make admirable gloves for ladies, and summer boots for fine gentlemen. Anyone who was offended didn’t have their Satire-O-Meter™ powered up, nor any appreciation of [literary history](http://darkwing.uoregon.edu/~rbear/modest.html). [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-screwed-up-and-i-apologize/271104.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-screwed-up-and-i-apologize/271104.md?page=3)