# I Screwed Up And I Apologize **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 25, 2004, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-screwed-up-and-i-apologize/271104 "2004-10-25T20:05:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Brainiac4](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/brainiac4/32/3534_2.png) [@Brainiac4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brainiac4)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2004, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-screwed-up-and-i-apologize/271104/61 "2004-10-26T00:22:48Z")
I wasn’t in the original thread, but the post was disturbing out of context. Then again, it’s more literary but no more gruesome than the stuff my son (age 6) makes up now. The apology makes up for it, though. I am confident that your internal editor will act a bit faster next time. Buck up, Doc. You’re okay. If I am at a Dopefest near you, you can play with my kids. I bet my son would love to hear you do a dramatic reading of that post, in fact. ---
**Author:** ![Standup\_Karmic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@Standup\_Karmic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Standup_Karmic)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2004, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-screwed-up-and-i-apologize/271104/62 "2004-10-26T00:30:09Z")
> [@DocCathode](#): > > How did this end up a love-in? I started this thread so people could give me a stern talking to. Seriously. I’m sorry, but who put you in charge of when you do and do not deserve a stern talking to? Delusions of grandeur much? Let me be clear. When you are deserving of a stern talking to, we will so advise you. At that point, you will take your stern talking to like a man. Now, near as I can tell, while there is a small minority that deems a minor admonishment to be appropriate, the vast majority seems to be sending you love. Again, let me be clear. You will take this love and you will enjoy it. Should you fail to do so, we may need to resort to tough love. As I understand it, some among the group, **urbanchic** perhaps most of all, tend to focus more on the tough and less on the love, when all comes to bear. I suggest you acquiesce. In the future, if there is any question, you may appeal to the broad opinion of the Karmic Kouncil to determine whether stern talkings to are a necesseary measure. What, they can have a freakin Brat Pack, but I can’t have a Karmic Kouncil? ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2004, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-screwed-up-and-i-apologize/271104/63 "2004-10-26T01:03:17Z")
**Doc** , you probably ran on a bit too long. W.C. Fields had it about right: \*“Do you like children, Mr. Twillie?” “Yes, if they’re properly cooked.”\* Brevity is indeed the soul of wit. ---
**Author:** ![Lucretia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/13edae/32.png) [@Lucretia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucretia)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2004, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-screwed-up-and-i-apologize/271104/64 "2004-10-26T01:06:10Z")
> [@DocCathode](#): > > I don’t think that any Dopers seriously believe that I will kill and eat their kids at a Dopefest. But, I am worried that they may believe I am unfit to be around them-that I will terrify them so badly that they will have nightmares for weeks, that I may discuss inappropriate things with them, or simply that my judgement and conduct will be unsafe (‘Why, of course it’s safe to eat lightbulbs Timmy. Didn’t you see a guy do it on tv?’). Snort. Please. In the unlikely even that you and my kids where to meet at a dopefest, you would have to get way wayyyyy more over the top than that to scare them. In fact, they would probably have you running away in abject terror at the end of the night. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2004, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-screwed-up-and-i-apologize/271104/65 "2004-10-26T01:33:36Z")
Doc, I’ve read too many of your posts to have anything but a good perception of you and count me as another sick bastard who laughs at that kind of humor. I think it’s good of you to apologize to the handful of people who were genuinely upset but your over all reputation is still in good standing and I seriously doubt that more than a couple of people saw it as anything more than a dark joke. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2004, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-screwed-up-and-i-apologize/271104/66 "2004-10-26T01:58:42Z")
You’re a better, and funnier, man than I, **DocCathode**. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2004, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-screwed-up-and-i-apologize/271104/67 "2004-10-26T02:34:28Z")
The apology was classy but wholly unnecessary. The post in question was funny and well written. Truly first rate humor. ---
**Author:** ![Berkut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a88e57/32.png) [@Berkut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Berkut)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2004, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-screwed-up-and-i-apologize/271104/68 "2004-10-26T02:50:19Z")
I’m going to have to go against the other opinions posted in this thread. I found that post very offensive. Mainly, this part: > [@DocCathode](#): > > They have never crunched on children’s eyes coated in coconut and caramelized sugar. I’m sorry, but coconut is fucking _nasty_. ---
**Author:** ![Hedda\_Rosa](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hedda_rosa/32/1204_2.png) [@Hedda\_Rosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hedda_Rosa)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2004, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-screwed-up-and-i-apologize/271104/69 "2004-10-26T04:40:38Z")
I recognized the post as humor but after the first line or two stopped reading it because I knew I’d find it offensive and disturbing. I just don’t find damaging children to be funny, and I don’t need that kind of imagery taking up space in my head. Of course I had to get up and walk out of _Blade 2_ because I was so disturbed by that movie so… Maybe I do have a big ol’ stick up my butt. I could give a shit if anyone thinks I’m uptight. Still the apology is lovely and I doubt anyone thinks you’d actually hurt real live kids. Twiddle ---
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2004, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-screwed-up-and-i-apologize/271104/70 "2004-10-26T05:00:37Z")
> [@Twiddle](#): > > Maybe I do have a big ol’ stick up my butt. Mmmmmmmm. Corn dogs. ---
**Author:** ![Hedda\_Rosa](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hedda_rosa/32/1204_2.png) [@Hedda\_Rosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hedda_Rosa)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2004, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-screwed-up-and-i-apologize/271104/71 "2004-10-26T05:25:02Z")
> [@Loopydude](#): > > Mmmmmmmm. Corn dogs. You are one sick puppy. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2004, 10:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-screwed-up-and-i-apologize/271104/72 "2004-10-26T10:02:48Z")
Gotta agree that coconut is nasty. It’s like eating hair. Adult hair, I mean, of course. I’m decent about _my_ cannibalism. ---
**Author:** ![Oy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bc8723/32.png) [@Oy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oy)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2004, 12:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-screwed-up-and-i-apologize/271104/73 "2004-10-26T12:14:49Z")
> [@lavenderlemon](#): > > IMHO his original post was still very disgusting and way over the top. I’ve worked with abused children and I am the mother of a toddler so maybe it hit just a little too close to home for me. > > But his apology is very, very classy. Ah, you run into a lot of children who are the victims of gourmet cannibalism, do you? ---
**Author:** ![Uncommon\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Uncommon\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncommon_Sense)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2004, 12:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-screwed-up-and-i-apologize/271104/74 "2004-10-26T12:36:39Z")
If you’re worried about the next Dopefest then just tell everyone there that your **The Cooler of Death** , or **handy** , or something…maybe no-one will notice. 😉😃 ---
**Author:** ![SkeptiJess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea666f/32.png) [@SkeptiJess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkeptiJess)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2004, 12:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-screwed-up-and-i-apologize/271104/75 "2004-10-26T12:46:21Z")
Well, _I_ thought it was funny, too. But then, I’m an extremely twisted individual. That said, I think the apology was called for (and classily executed.) Not because the post wasn’t funny, but because it was inappropriate (hijacky, off-topic) to the thread. ---
**Author:** ![Elysian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c77e96/32.png) [@Elysian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elysian)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2004, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-screwed-up-and-i-apologize/271104/76 "2004-10-26T13:27:27Z")
> [@jjimm](#): > > they need a walk and they’re doing big poos all over Elysium. What the fuck did I ever do to you? ---
**Author:** ![Trunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/87869e/32.png) [@Trunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trunk)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2004, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-screwed-up-and-i-apologize/271104/77 "2004-10-26T14:32:06Z")
Funny original post. Lame self-pitting. I only hope that the primary motive of the pitting was to point people towards the original joke who might not have been reading the thread. Like me. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2004, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-screwed-up-and-i-apologize/271104/78 "2004-10-26T14:38:18Z")
> [@Elysian](#): > > What the fuck did I ever do to you? Nothing. You’re an adjective. I was talking about the noun. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2004, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-screwed-up-and-i-apologize/271104/79 "2004-10-26T14:40:29Z")
> [@](#): > > You’re an adjective. _Bing_ ---
**Author:** ![Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/50afbb/32.png) [@Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duck_Duck_Goose)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2004, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-screwed-up-and-i-apologize/271104/80 "2004-10-26T14:53:21Z")
One more vote here for “apology not necessary”, and “it would have been funnier if it had been more condensed”. “When to have children? Why, for breakfast, of course!” would have been better. You need an editor, Doc, not a keeper. Relax. 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-screwed-up-and-i-apologize/271104.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-screwed-up-and-i-apologize/271104.md?page=5)