# I seem to be invisible to men **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 27, 2006, 12:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-seem-to-be-invisible-to-men/366251 "2006-07-27T12:35:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Zahava424](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/76d3ee/32.png) [@Zahava424](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zahava424)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2006, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-seem-to-be-invisible-to-men/366251/101 "2006-08-01T20:21:57Z")
Men may not notice that you changed your hair or your outfit, but\* you\* will. When I feel pretty or I’ve just gotten a great haircut, I walk differently and make more eye contact with people. If you do something to your external self, like a style change or a new haircut, men may not care but they will notice the confidence and happiness you’re putting out there. Not that I’m pushing this, because I don’t think it’s that important, but many people have suggested a bit longer hair. I think your face shape looks great with the haircut you have, but if you’re looking to go longer, [this style](http://hairstyles.free-beauty-tips.com/sh4.shtml) would look good on you. Don’t go too long, though. Your face is a nice heart shape that work better with short hair or a style that frames your chin. Also, you’ve gotten so many compliments on your eyes that you might want to emphasize them with slightly stronger eye makeup. Those are just suggestions, but I really don’t think they’re that important. Just do something that makes you feel strong and confident, because that will project and attract people. I also think the point about participating in guy-friendly activities is good. Join a hiking group or go rock climbing or join a writers’ group or something that works with your interests and would be a good mingling activity. ---
**Author:** ![Kevbo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e47774/32.png) [@Kevbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kevbo)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2006, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-seem-to-be-invisible-to-men/366251/102 "2006-08-01T20:26:20Z")
[QUOTE=RickJay] The short hairstyle looks good on you, I’d agree, but guys disproportionately like long hair. [/QUOTE] I popped back in to mention that. Personally I like it. It is risky however…a lot of women who prefer other women tend to have short, low maintainace hair. Not talking absolutes, but there is a coralation. Since guys are expected to do the asking, and getting shot down never feels good regardless the reason. A flirty girl who obviously prefers men can get away with short hair easilly…in fact it can be an asset. ---
**Author:** ![Declan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecae2f/32.png) [@Declan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Declan)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2006, 6:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-seem-to-be-invisible-to-men/366251/103 "2006-08-02T06:17:35Z")
[QUOTE=RickJay] She’s trying to attract men, not other women. Guys are disproportionately predisposed to liking long hair. Let’s remember what she’s trying to do here. Mrs. RickJay’s best friend has very curly reddish hair; when she straightens it and let it go long, she looks ten times prettier. The difference is remarkable; it really changes the whole appearance. Indeed, it was her straightening her hair for a party that attracted the attention of her new beau. Long, pretty hair; it works. [/QUOTE] Rick Re read what she said about her hair. She wants to grow it longer , but when she does so it tends to become a maitenance nightmare [QUOTE=Promethea] I didn’t want to bore people about the ins and outs of my hair, but yes I entirely agree that it would suit my face and body if it were a longer length.\*\* Unfortunately, it grows very slowly and due to the very tight curls, the “inbetween” stage of short to long hair that every woman dreads, if for me, about two - three years.\*\* Having said all of this, the last pic shows my hair after the ghd straightening tongs were put through it and I’m wondering if this hasn’t opened up some new possibilities. Previously, letting it grow long gave me a 'do somewhat reminiscent of The Stylistics circa 1976. Interesting, but probably not all that hot. Maybe the march of science will finally lead to me having the long lustrous locks I have always craved! [/QUOTE] Personally i do prefer women with minimum shoulder length hair and its just a personal preference, but her question was to get noticed by guys as you helpfully tried to remind me. If she cant go one way, she does have the option of going shorter and wearing wigs or extensions. With the right woman , that punky spikey look will stand out. It may not be your cup of tea, but it is an option for her Declan ---
**Author:** ![CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crankyasanoldman/32/11670_2.png) [@CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrankyAsAnOldMan)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2006, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-seem-to-be-invisible-to-men/366251/104 "2006-08-02T13:46:55Z")
At the risk of being completely and utterly shallow, I recommend occasionally wearing clothes that show off the cleavage. I’m not only fat and invisible myself, I reveal boobcrack about once a blue moon. But my husband has, over a decade or so, finally made me realize that men (or some men) notice–and enjoy noticing–a nice rack that isn’t wholly hidden under clothes. He could tell me what I was wearing the night he fell for me (this is a man who notices nothing–I doubt he could accurately recall my wedding dress) because I was wearing a scoop-neck t-shirt and an apparently flattering bra (daring and unusual for schoolmarm me). You don’t have to dress like a floozy, but being even a little more daring may have some payoffs in people noticing. I feel sheepish now. especially after all this fine advice from other sensible dopers about hobbies and your approach to people. But sometimes, apparently, you need decolletage too. If you haven’t already, give it a try. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2006, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-seem-to-be-invisible-to-men/366251/105 "2006-08-03T00:38:39Z")
[QUOTE=Declan] Rick Re read what she said about her hair. She wants to grow it longer , but when she does so it tends to become a maitenance nightmare [/QUOTE] I know it’s harder to keep. Like I said, I’m not giving orders, just stating a fact. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2006, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-seem-to-be-invisible-to-men/366251/106 "2006-08-03T01:26:16Z")
[QUOTE=CrankyAsAnOldMan] At the risk of being completely and utterly shallow, I recommend occasionally wearing clothes that show off the cleavage… …sometimes, apparently, you need decolletage too. If you haven’t already, give it a try. [/QUOTE] Please do this. Especially if you happen to be visiting Toronto. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2006, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-seem-to-be-invisible-to-men/366251/107 "2006-08-03T14:29:32Z")
[QUOTE=RickJay] \hair-faced, stank-ass grump\ [/QUOTE] I just have to say it - BAND NAME!!! Sorry. **cranky** , I asked my husband what would make me less invisible to men, and he said the same thing - cleavage. He said the same thing when I asked him if there was a way to get men to do stuff. I plan to use it on him to my advantage in the future. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Malienation](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4af34b/32.png) [@Malienation](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malienation)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2006, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-seem-to-be-invisible-to-men/366251/108 "2006-08-03T18:55:26Z")
Have your female friends poll the male friends that know you and report back what they say (no names). Emphasize that you want undiluted male opinion, not what the women think. See what happens… ---
**Author:** ![NinetyWt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/cc9497/32.png) [@NinetyWt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinetyWt)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2006, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-seem-to-be-invisible-to-men/366251/109 "2006-08-05T20:35:10Z")
**Promethea** - I didn’t want to bump this old thread, so I started another requesting opinions about curly hair cuts [here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=382695). ---
**Author:** ![Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8c91f0/32.png) [@Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bam_Boo_Gut)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2006, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-seem-to-be-invisible-to-men/366251/110 "2006-08-06T01:53:54Z")
I think you look gorgeous, lovely eyes and lips - a sensous face and blokes like big breasts too. Why are you invisible? Something in your personality must be pulling a curtain over your many attractive features. I don’t get the feeling that you’re shy either. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-seem-to-be-invisible-to-men/366251.md?page=5)