# I should get a giraffe... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 26, 2011, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-should-get-a-giraffe/604177 "2011-11-26T19:45:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![booklover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/85f322/32.png) [@booklover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/booklover)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2011, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-should-get-a-giraffe/604177/1 "2011-11-26T19:45:15Z")
I have been periodically drifting in and out of the house today to inspect the large quantity of dead leaves covering our yard. This is our first autumn in this house, and I admit that I failed to realize the sheer volume of leaves produced by five mature oak trees. Therefore, I have decided to get a giraffe. My stepdaughter pointed out that our winters are not exactly hospitable for a giraffe, to which I replied that her middle school is very close and the gym could surely accommodate one or two medium-sized giraffes. My only though is that we may need some sort of elevated platform for the giraffes to climb upon. Wikipedia claims the tallest giraffes get to about 20 feet, and I think our oaks are taller than that. Perhaps, though, we can get some goats to deal with the fallen foliage. Anything to get out of raking the damn leaves… ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/22080_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2011, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-should-get-a-giraffe/604177/2 "2011-11-26T19:52:52Z")
Or you could just declare your yard to be a nature preserve and not do anything to it. 😃 Our house sits on 3 acres, and the couple we bought it from used to rake and prune it to within an inch of insanity, including the 2 acres that are pretty much just trees. Yes, they kept that part raked and groomed. We decided before the first leaf fell that the treed areas would do just fine without our intervention. And for the rest of the yard, we got a mulcher/vac that attaches to and is towed behind our riding mower. A couple of hours riding around in circles, and the yard looks reasonable. I just dump the mulched leaves back in the woods. Raking leaves sucketh the big weenie! ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2011, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-should-get-a-giraffe/604177/3 "2011-11-26T20:08:43Z")
[Diplodocus](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:DiplodocusDB.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Cap\_n\_Obvious](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e56c9b/32.png) [@Cap\_n\_Obvious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cap_n_Obvious)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2011, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-should-get-a-giraffe/604177/4 "2011-11-26T20:27:11Z")
A week of dry weather, a couple of matches, and you wouldn’t have to worry about leaves for at least a couple of seasons. Of course your neighbors, the fire department, various state agencies, your spouse, and your step-daughter might be mad at you for awhile. Seriously though, get a leaf blower if you can afford it, and use it at least once a week. Your arms and back will thank you. ---
**Author:** ![Lacunae\_Matata](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lacunae\_Matata](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lacunae_Matata)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2011, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-should-get-a-giraffe/604177/5 "2011-11-26T20:46:26Z")
Step one: get thee a jobless teenager. Preferably one who wants an expensive newly-released video game. Step two: buy the game. Lock in safe. Tell teenager that he can have his game when the yard and driveway are raked. Step three: Hi Opal!\* Step four: Profit!\*\* \*My first “Hi Opal!” It’s lame, but I feel so at home here now! \*\*“Profit” isn’t exactly the right word. Have you seen what those critters eat?! But CPS says I have to feed him anyway, so I might as well take advantage of the slave labor. ---
**Author:** ![Ashes\_Ashes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/db5fbb/32.png) [@Ashes\_Ashes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ashes_Ashes)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2011, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-should-get-a-giraffe/604177/6 "2011-11-26T20:53:57Z")
Maybe a [tree goat](http://webecoist.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/tree-climbing-goats.jpg) is in order. Besides, giraffes aren’t real. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2011, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-should-get-a-giraffe/604177/7 "2011-11-26T20:57:21Z")
One of the very few benefits of renting our house is that our landlord does a “fall cleanup” of the property which includes raking all the leaves and so on. Since we’re partially surrounded by woods, this is not insignificant. The landlord also comes in the spring and cleans up any limbs that fell due to snow, etc. The only yard work we’re responsible for is mowing the lawn. ---
**Author:** ![chiroptera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@chiroptera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chiroptera)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2011, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-should-get-a-giraffe/604177/8 "2011-11-26T21:50:33Z")
I ditto a goat (although giraffes have an exotic appeal - but do they eat dead leaves?) I have a very large yard (basically three city lots) and everything in the back and wooded bits are currently unraked and will remain that way. So all I have to do is the front and the two driveways. I considered hiring a person to rake for me, but have been doing it incrementally for the last month and have a stack of leaf bags waiting for the final township leaf pick-up of the year this Monday. I’m serious about the goat though, sort of. I spent many years growing up with family goats and am very fond of them. Plus they are useful, and with Michigan’s Right to Farm Act, I could legally own a goat or two even in a sort of urban setting. ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2011, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-should-get-a-giraffe/604177/9 "2011-11-26T22:10:50Z")
> [@FairyChatMom](#): > > Or you could just declare your yard to be a nature preserve and not do anything to it. 😃 Yes, the ‘god put them there, let him take them away approach.’ Effective, except for when the driveway is covered in wet leaves. Here, we had a freak Halloween snowstorm that brought down all the leaves (and a lot of trees). I can’t rake what’s under the snow, but I did have to shovel that wet, heavy crap. ---
**Author:** ![picunurse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2011, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-should-get-a-giraffe/604177/10 "2011-11-26T23:20:42Z")
You do know that [oak leaves are poisonous](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oak) right? Poor giraffes. Well, giraffes aren’t goats, cattle, horses or sheep, but, I wouldn’t risk it. > [@](#): > > The leaves and acorns of the oak tree are poisonous to cattle, horses, sheep, and goats in large amounts due to the toxin tannic acid, and cause kidney damage and gastroenteritis. Additionally, once livestock have a taste for the leaves and acorns, they may seek them out. Symptoms of poisoning include lack of appetite, depression, constipation, diarrhea (which may contain blood), blood in urine, and colic. The exception to livestock and oak toxicity is the domestic pig, which may be fed entirely on acorns in the right conditions, and has traditionally been pastured in oak woodlands (such as the Spanish dehesa and the English system of pannage) for hundreds of years. Acorns are also edible to humans in processed form, after leaching of the tanins. They are a staple part of the forage consumed by wildlife, including squirrels and jays. Now, YOU could eat them after the tanins are removed. They don’t taste very good, I’m told. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![booklover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/85f322/32.png) [@booklover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/booklover)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2011, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-should-get-a-giraffe/604177/11 "2011-11-26T23:42:30Z")
I love the tree goats, though it has also occurred to me that perhaps I could strap the acorn-eating pigs to the backs of the giraffes. If we were not renting and our city did not fine homeowners for unkempt yards, I would certainly embark on the “nature preserve” approach. Sadly our landlord does not rake as part of the deal. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2011, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-should-get-a-giraffe/604177/12 "2011-11-27T19:54:26Z")
The SDMB got a **giraffe** years ago. They’re very annoying and once you get one you can never seem to get them to go away. Even when they get their own MB. (I kid :D) ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/22080_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2011, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-should-get-a-giraffe/604177/13 "2011-11-27T20:43:07Z")
I spent 2 hours today riding around on the mower with the mulcher/vac in tow. I dumped 5 loads of leaves, so it was not as much as last week. I might have to do give the yard one more going-over this season, but most of our trees are nekkid already, so yay! ---
**Author:** ![missinformation](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d07c76/32.png) [@missinformation](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missinformation)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2011, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-should-get-a-giraffe/604177/14 "2011-11-27T20:48:00Z")
Leaves falling off trees? Winter? What is this you speak of? LOL I have been in Florida for 8 nice winters now…we don’t lose too many leaves, just need the palm trees trimmed. Our lawn man mulches what leaves fall from the pecan tree… You can also invest in a leaf blower that has a vacuum attachment. My stepfather loved his when we lived in NY…of course, we had no trees on our property, but every leaf in a 5 mile radius came to our house to visit! ---
**Author:** ![Kuboydal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecb155/32.png) [@Kuboydal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kuboydal)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2011, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-should-get-a-giraffe/604177/15 "2011-11-28T21:12:36Z")
The SDMB seems to be a haven of foliphobia. ---
**Author:** ![Bumbershoot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bumbershoot/32/3428_2.png) [@Bumbershoot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bumbershoot)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2011, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-should-get-a-giraffe/604177/16 "2011-11-28T21:20:24Z")
I’ll bet you could get some 50 ft. tall giraffes if you buy a male and a female and do a few generations of selective cross-breeding. ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2011, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-should-get-a-giraffe/604177/17 "2011-11-28T21:48:45Z")
I’m with Miss Matata. Leaves are why God gave you a teenager. ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2011, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-should-get-a-giraffe/604177/18 "2011-11-28T21:59:35Z")
We rent a house. A house with a massive, leaf-shedding tree in the front yard. I’ve been looking at the piles falling from it for weeks now, but I’ve been determined that I wasn’t going to pick up that rake until the tree was bare – no sense going through that hell twice. Finally, on Saturday, it was clear – it was de-leafing time. Ok, fine…I wasn’t interested in the 1:00 football game being shown yesterday anyway, so I figured I’d go out there Sunday morning and spend the better part of the day drudging through that mess. Sunday morning comes, I’m gearing up to head outside, when a truck and trailer pull in front of the house, laden with leaf removal tools. Out hop a work crew, and they start in on my yard. “Woah woah woah…what’s this about?” I ask the guy running the show. “Oh, Mike, your landlord, hired us to clean up his property. He has us do this every year”. Woot! Thanks much, Mike! ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2011, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-should-get-a-giraffe/604177/19 "2011-11-28T22:18:08Z")
> [@NoClueBoy](#): > > [Diplodocus](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:DiplodocusDB.jpg) But could the OP house a pair of diplodoci in stepdaughter’s school gym? ---
**Author:** ![minionkat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f05b48/32.png) [@minionkat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/minionkat)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2011, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-should-get-a-giraffe/604177/20 "2011-11-29T02:17:56Z")
> [@Ashes\_Ashes](#): > > Maybe a [tree goat](http://webecoist.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/tree-climbing-goats.jpg) is in order. Besides, giraffes aren’t real. I think I love you. Giraffes don’t exist. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-should-get-a-giraffe/604177.md?page=2)