# I speak English. Know why? Because I live in America! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 9, 2007, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-speak-english-know-why-because-i-live-in-america/411060 "2007-07-09T17:41:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![bryanmaguire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/d07c76/32.png) [@bryanmaguire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bryanmaguire)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2007, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-speak-english-know-why-because-i-live-in-america/411060/41 "2007-07-09T19:07:40Z")
[QUOTE=Ludovic] I will not buy this rant. It is scratched. [/QUOTE] Uh, no, no, no. This is a tobacconist’s. ---
**Author:** ![etgaw1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ed655f/32.png) [@etgaw1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/etgaw1)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2007, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-speak-english-know-why-because-i-live-in-america/411060/42 "2007-07-09T19:12:38Z")
I recently moved to Germany and most people speak English over here, but I don’t get pissed off if they can’t. In most cases between my bad German (It’s getting better) and their bad English we can get things done, if not I find someone to translate for me. I understand I have no right to be pissed off because I am living in their country and in most cases I want something from them. The only people these people can justifiably get mad at is themselves. etgaw1 ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2007, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-speak-english-know-why-because-i-live-in-america/411060/43 "2007-07-09T19:14:18Z")
For Spanish-speakers to want an American customer service rep to speak Spanish is perfectly reasonable. Og knows, when I lived in the Netherlands, I wanted Dutch CSRs to speak English! (Although I always did my best to communicate in Dutch.) Any society with a large population of minority-language speakers had better be prepared for the expectation that companies attempting to sell their services to the public will have representatives who are able to communicate in the minority language. However, **demanding** that an American CSR **must** speak Spanish, not to speak of screaming or swearing at him/her if s/he doesn’t, is completely unreasonable and unacceptable. Nobody has the right to cuss **Otto** out for not being able to communicate in Spanish (except perhaps **Otto** ’s boss if s/he tells **Otto** to learn Spanish and he doesn’t do it). ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2007, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-speak-english-know-why-because-i-live-in-america/411060/44 "2007-07-09T19:15:21Z")
[QUOTE=bryanmaguire] Uh, no, no, no. This is a tobacconist’s. [/QUOTE] Aaaah, I will not buy this tobacconist. It is scratched. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2007, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-speak-english-know-why-because-i-live-in-america/411060/45 "2007-07-09T19:21:16Z")
日本語しゃべませんか？ﾊﾞｶ！ Although I’ve never met a Japanese person in America who gets angry at somebody for not speaking Japanese. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2007, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-speak-english-know-why-because-i-live-in-america/411060/46 "2007-07-09T19:24:14Z")
[QUOTE=gigi] I was with you up until you related an anecdote of someone speaking Spanish. With so many businesses offering bilingual services, Spanish-speakers may begin to expect it. \ [/QUOTE] From the OP, it sounds like there isn’t any “may” about it. You know, it occurs to me that we always say that we wouldn’t expect other countries to accommodate our English if we moved to a country that didn’t speak a lot of English, that we would expect to learn the language of the country we moved to, but is this actually true? (I also did not find the OP racist, bigoted, or xenophobic. Not liking being yelled at for an unreasonable expectation is not racist, bigoted or xenophobic.) ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2007, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-speak-english-know-why-because-i-live-in-america/411060/47 "2007-07-09T19:27:46Z")
[QUOTE=Kimstu] For Spanish-speakers to want an American customer service rep to speak Spanish is perfectly reasonable. Og knows, when I lived in the Netherlands, I wanted Dutch CSRs to speak English! (Although I always did my best to communicate in Dutch.) Any society with a large population of minority-language speakers had better be prepared for the expectation that companies attempting to sell their services to the public will have representatives who are able to communicate in the minority language. However, **demanding** that an American CSR **must** speak Spanish, not to speak of screaming or swearing at him/her if s/he doesn’t, is completely unreasonable and unacceptable. Nobody has the right to cuss **Otto** out for not being able to communicate in Spanish (except perhaps **Otto** ’s boss if s/he tells **Otto** to learn Spanish and he doesn’t do it). [/QUOTE] I think that’s an important distinction, and it’s unclear whether the customers are getting upset at \*\*Otto \*\*or are just upset that they can’t communicate. Here in CA, anyway, you’d have to be a very small company to not have anyone who speaks Spanish within earshot. Maybe \*\*Otto \*\*can take some classes in Spanish and convince his employer to give him a raise once he can add that skill to his resume. 🙂 When life deals you lemons, make lemonade. ---
**Author:** ![Reepicheep](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ed655f/32.png) [@Reepicheep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reepicheep)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2007, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-speak-english-know-why-because-i-live-in-america/411060/48 "2007-07-09T19:28:41Z")
[QUOTE=Otto] California is first, Texas is second. [/QUOTE] Florida is third. ---
**Author:** ![LucyInDisguise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucyindisguise/32/18064_2.png) [@LucyInDisguise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LucyInDisguise)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2007, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-speak-english-know-why-because-i-live-in-america/411060/49 "2007-07-09T19:42:21Z")
**{Computer}** Thank you for calling _American Megamonolithic Corporation_\*. If you have any idea how to get through this menu without listening to it you may key ahead at any time. However, since we change the menu every 30 minutes you’ll probably find it easier to listen just in case. **{Computer}** For English, press 1 [Beep] **{Computer}** To place an order, press 1 **{Computer}** To pay your bill, press 2 **{Computer}** To use our totally useless automated customer service menu, get depressed by pushing 3 **{Computer}** To actually speak with a live customer service representative, pray to your preferred deity and a couple of others that you may have heard about then press 4 [Beep] **{Computer}** Please enter your birth date, social security number, your 128 digit account number, your astrological sign, and anything else you think we might need to help identify you, then press the pound button. [Beep, beep, boop, bip, boop, boop, yang, etc, ad infinitum, #.] **{Computer}** I’m sorry, I did not understand your input. Please hold while I transfer you to someone who only understands 14 words of English. (Click, Click, Click - marginally annoying elevator music - one really good song, just getting to the good bit and …) **{Customer Service Rep with almost unintelligible accent}** This Rajasvick, can I please have your great-grandmother’s niece’s first cousin’s husband’s maiden name? [Mental note to self: that was all fourteen of the words. If you say anything else not related to his script you’re gonna regret it!] Smith. **{CSR}** Is this Mr. Smith? [Told ya!] No, this is Mr. Jones. Please let me talk to someone in your complaint department. **{CSR}** I don’t seem to have you in the computer. That’s because I wouldn’t fit. I been dieting, but it hasn’t helped much. [Cricket, Cricket, Cricket, Cricket, Cricket] **{CSR}** Can you please give me your account number, Mr. Jones? You don’t need it for the purposes of this call. Besides, I just spent 10 minutes using the touch tone pad on my phone to give all of that to your computer. It’s not my fault if your software is inadequate. Please let me talk to someone in your complaint department. **{CSR}** We don’t have one. No one ever complains about _American Megamonolithic Corporation_. Right. Then let me speak with your supervisor. **{CSR}** Why? Because I want to. I know this is a totally unrealistic reason but it’s the only one I think you’ll understand. **{CSR}** Hold please. [Now that was ominously way too easy …] (Click, Click, Click - marginally annoying elevator music - hey! I recognize this pattern! Here comes that one really good song! - Hey! Shit! It was just getting to the good bit again …) **{CSRSupervisor}** This is Yawnbitchin. How can I help you? I don’t think you can, but I’m willing to give it a shot if you are. What was your name again? Von-who-lin? **{CSRSupervisor}** Yawnbitchin. V-o-n-b-i-n-j-i-n. What seems to be the problem? Well, I really curious. Is _American Megamonolithic Corporation_ actually a U. S. Corporation? **{CSRSupervisor}** Yes. Located on U. S. soil? **{CSRSupervisor}** Of course. We’re located in Ohio. You, personally, are at present physically located in Ohio? **{CSRSupervisor}** Well, no. I’m in India. That explains more than you know. Could you answer a simple question for me? **{CSRSupervisor}** I’ll certainly try … IF _American Megamonolithic Corporation_ IS a U. S. Corporation that is ACTUALLY located on U. S. soil, why must I “_ **push 1 for English** _” when I call your corporation from my home in America in a vain attempt to do business? **{CSRSupervisor}** Ahhhhh … You see, here’s what I think a lot of your American customers would really like. They’d really appreciate it if you’d have the non-English speaking people push all the extra buttons and let us get on with the business at hand. By the way, your phone menu sucks and your software is definitely not up to the task. Until the guys and gals who are actually _in_ Ohio figure that out, I will be taking my business to your competitor. Have a nice day. **{CSRSupervisor}** Ahhhhhh … * * * I appologize for the length. I get sorta passionate about this … and, I know I’m probably trying to nail 3 rants in this one, but my main point is that I really should not have to “Push 1 for English” when calling from the United States. “To hear this menu in another language, Press one to hear your options”. That, I can live with. Lucy \*Not, to the best of my knowledge, the name of any real U. S. corportation. Insert standard disclaimers [here](http://www.trashcandepot.com/). 😃 ---
**Author:** ![CBEscapee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b19c9b/32.png) [@CBEscapee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CBEscapee)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2007, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-speak-english-know-why-because-i-live-in-america/411060/50 "2007-07-09T19:48:54Z")
I can’t recall how many times I’ve heard Americans here demand that we speak English. _“What is wrong with these damn people? I mean, you know, if they want our tourist buck they should godadamn learn to speak English.”_ Next time someone expects me to speak English I think in the spirit of the OP I’ll “mandarlo a la chingada”. ---
**Author:** ![Bridget\_Burke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7cd45c/32.png) [@Bridget\_Burke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bridget_Burke)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2007, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-speak-english-know-why-because-i-live-in-america/411060/51 "2007-07-09T20:08:12Z")
[QUOTE=LonesomePolecat] Ah, yes, _racism!_ Any American who resents the intrusion of other cultures must be morally flawed instead of a perfectly normal human being. Why try to understand us when you can just pretend you are morally superior to us and despise us? [/QUOTE] The OP was not very clear. Then he explained that he was complaining about angry phone calls in other languages. I can see being upset by angry phone calls. That is, phone calls to one’s place of business. These people are infringing upon his space–& he does not want their patronage. He is well within his rights. But–“intrusion of other cultures” can simply mean that another language than English might be heard in the USA. Many businesses have multilingual signs. Radio & TV shows are not 100% English. I can understand that kind of resentment–not the situation described in the OP. And I do despise it. ---
**Author:** ![Sean\_Factotum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Sean\_Factotum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sean_Factotum)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2007, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-speak-english-know-why-because-i-live-in-america/411060/52 "2007-07-09T20:13:25Z")
[QUOTE=CBEscapee] I can’t recall how many times I’ve heard Americans here demand that we speak English. _“What is wrong with these damn people? I mean, you know, if they want our tourist buck they should godadamn learn to speak English.”_ Next time someone expects me to speak English I think in the spirit of the OP I’ll “mandarlo a la chingada”. [/QUOTE] Those are the Ugly Americans, famous the world over. For every pair your country agrees to host for a short time, we will send two pair who will try to learn enough to get by. They will at least learn how to say, “thank you,” “please,” and “I’m sorry, but your cheese is now in my shoe.” ---
**Author:** ![NurseCarmen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5daacb/32.png) [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2007, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-speak-english-know-why-because-i-live-in-america/411060/53 "2007-07-09T20:15:21Z")
[QUOTE=Beware of Doug] The more I look at this, the more it looks like _Kalihari Bushman Tongue **d** ick_. Which I guess is the language of luuuuuuuv. [/QUOTE] You haven’t had oral sex until you’ve had oral sex from a Kaliharian tongue klicker. ---
**Author:** ![bryanmaguire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/d07c76/32.png) [@bryanmaguire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bryanmaguire)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2007, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-speak-english-know-why-because-i-live-in-america/411060/54 "2007-07-09T20:16:57Z")
[QUOTE=Autolycus] Aaaah, I will not buy this tobacconist. It is scratched. [/QUOTE] Lets just skip to the best line “Drop your panties, Sir William; I cannot wait 'til lunchtime.” ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2007, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-speak-english-know-why-because-i-live-in-america/411060/55 "2007-07-09T20:18:14Z")
[QUOTE=Sean Factotum] Those are the Ugly Americans, famous the world over. For every pair your country agrees to host for a short time, we will send two pair who will try to learn enough to get by. They will at least learn how to say, “thank you,” “please,” and “I’m sorry, but your cheese is now in my shoe.” [/QUOTE] Bwahahaha! ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2007, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-speak-english-know-why-because-i-live-in-america/411060/56 "2007-07-09T20:23:20Z")
[QUOTE=CBEscapee] Next time someone expects me to speak English I think in the spirit of the OP I’ll “mandarlo a la chingada”. [/QUOTE] And unless you’re running a bar or souvenir shop in, say, Tijuana, Acapuclco or Cancun, you would be perfectly within your rights to do so. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2007, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-speak-english-know-why-because-i-live-in-america/411060/57 "2007-07-09T20:27:59Z")
What I don’t understand is why don’t they want to learn English? I would think that living in a country and having no means to communicate would be like some weird form of invisible prison. I’d HATE that! I have no problem with them using their native language when it’s not a business transaction. But c’mon! make an effort already! Work with me here! ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2007, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-speak-english-know-why-because-i-live-in-america/411060/58 "2007-07-09T20:31:34Z")
[QUOTE=Bridget Burke] The OP was not very clear. [/QUOTE] Actually, the OP was perfectly clear. You, OTOH, have been very unclear in your attempt to explain why something as obviously ironical as “Kalihari Bushman Tongueclick” caused you to instantly vomit up the “racism” canard. And make no mistake: Accusations of racism are to some of us extremely serious and deeply insulting. You’re lucky the OP’er was tolerant of it; I would have told you to go fuck yourself. ---
**Author:** ![Zakalwe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zakalwe/32/270_2.png) [@Zakalwe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zakalwe)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2007, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-speak-english-know-why-because-i-live-in-america/411060/59 "2007-07-09T20:32:18Z")
[QUOTE=Bridget Burke] The OP was not very clear. [/quote] Bullshit. (Please indicate your native language and I’ll look up how to say that in your preferred language). How much clearer than this can he get? “incident one billion of someone who hasn’t bothered to learn to speak enough English to make a telephone call getting pissed off at me because I don’t speak their language.” > [@](#): > > But–“intrusion of other cultures” can simply mean that another language than English might be heard in the USA. Many businesses have multilingual signs. Radio & TV shows are not 100% English. I can understand that kind of resentment–not the situation described in the OP. And I do despise it. How interesting. You went straight from “don’t get mad at me because I don’t speak your language” to “how dare other businesses offer services in a language other than English”. Can you explain why? Can you possibly explain where the OP indicated anything of the sort? Thanks ever so much. Tool. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2007, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-speak-english-know-why-because-i-live-in-america/411060/60 "2007-07-09T20:33:31Z")
[QUOTE=Kalhoun] What I don’t understand is why don’t they want to learn English? I would think that living in a country and having no means to communicate would be like some weird form of invisible prison. I’d HATE that! [/QUOTE] But if you live among friends and family and business owners who all speak Spanish, you’re not imprisoned at all. Again, this wouldn’t be true for other languages, but I am going with the example provided. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-speak-english-know-why-because-i-live-in-america/411060.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-speak-english-know-why-because-i-live-in-america/411060.md?page=4)