# I spent a week living with a racist birther **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 28, 2013, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-spent-a-week-living-with-a-racist-birther/654147 "2013-03-28T01:24:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![phouka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c5a1d2/32.png) [@phouka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phouka)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2013, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-spent-a-week-living-with-a-racist-birther/654147/21 "2013-03-28T15:49:49Z")
I feel for you, **prr**. I have a (former) friend who I actually rented a room from for nearly four years. She’d always been a little conservative, and by the time I lived with her and her husband, she was moreso, but between me moving out and going to another state, she went full on Teahadist-homophobe-fundamentalist-zealot. It used to be that whenever she’d start up about how the liberals were terrible people or wanted to do some terrible thing or were sooooo stupid, she’d always pause and say “except for you, phouka. You’re different.” She went from about 1/3 derp in her conversations to 190 proof artisan bottled whargarble with full on conspiracy theories, Limbaugh quotes, references to “the lavender mob”, and an utter inability to comprehend that Muslims want anything other than the fiery death of all Americans. Even the ones who are American. So, yeah. I’d invited her over to my new apartment for dinner. It was the conversational equivalent of having a firehose turned on me. I finally managed to change the topic to cats and what’s up with how awesome they are. So, yeah. Don’t really know what to tell you other than at some point our friends stopped accepting any view other than their own and stopped questioning anything that might align with their views. It’s damn sad to see, because she’s otherwise a good person, but both she and her husband - who I used to admire - are incapable of sustaining a conference without reference to crypto-muslims. ---
**Author:** ![Kevbo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e47774/32.png) [@Kevbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kevbo)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2013, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-spent-a-week-living-with-a-racist-birther/654147/22 "2013-03-28T16:05:44Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > It seems pointless and like wrestling with a pig to me…especially in the case of the OP. A friend of mine claims the trick is to be the pig. Don’t expect to change any beliefs or opinions, just take pleasure in the sheer joy of getting all muddy, and laugh when your opponent complains about the mud! I think on the intertubes they call this trolling. ---
**Author:** ![Troppus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a587f6/32.png) [@Troppus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troppus)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2013, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-spent-a-week-living-with-a-racist-birther/654147/23 "2013-03-28T16:12:07Z")
> [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](#): > > (His wife prepared the food–I never had Jewish dishes prepared by a non-Jew before, and hope I never do again.) But did she shop at Trader Joe’s? ---
**Author:** ![Tollhouse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e99b99/32.png) [@Tollhouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tollhouse)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2013, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-spent-a-week-living-with-a-racist-birther/654147/24 "2013-03-28T16:47:35Z")
op, why does it matter to you so much that his family was having a seder, or that his wife is Catholic etc. It makes you sound like the religion police ---
**Author:** ![pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pseudotriton_ruber_ruber)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2013, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-spent-a-week-living-with-a-racist-birther/654147/25 "2013-03-28T17:02:13Z")
Because he didn’t know what the fuck he was doing at the Seder (he literally mispronounced his way through ONE brocha, and skipped the entire Haggadah) yet spent the week lecturing me on his standing as a Jew opposing Obama on Israel. By my estimation, Obama is a better Jew than this fellow. And if you know anything at all about me (Jan. 2013? Probably not), I AM the fucking religion police 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2013, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-spent-a-week-living-with-a-racist-birther/654147/26 "2013-03-28T17:39:56Z")
> [@Kevbo](#): > > A friend of mine claims the trick is to be the pig. Don’t expect to change any beliefs or opinions, just take pleasure in the sheer joy of getting all muddy, and laugh when your opponent complains about the mud! I think on the intertubes they call this trolling. Nah, it would be trolling if it wasn’t voluntary on both parts. Like **Alessan** , the paternal side of my family views arguing/debate as a sport; we find it a good way to clean rust out of the brain. Sometimes we argue on opposite sides, sometimes we even argue on the same side. From what I can tell it’s a cultural thing. Occasionally you get someone who doesn’t enjoy it but they don’t even say “I’m not going to argue” - they just don’t. You tell them “dude, you’re weird” and they shrug and say “must be”. ---
**Author:** ![a35362](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@a35362](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/a35362)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2013, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-spent-a-week-living-with-a-racist-birther/654147/27 "2013-03-28T18:11:03Z")
I had a roommate in college who used to pick fights with me to make me defend some stupid, tiny issue that I hadn’t really thought much about. I think she regarded it as a kind of mental exercise that she needed. Over time I came to realize that she thought she was helping me to learn to debate and to learn to assert myself. I came to hate her, and that was the end of the friendship. ---
**Author:** ![suranyi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e36b37/32.png) [@suranyi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/suranyi)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2013, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-spent-a-week-living-with-a-racist-birther/654147/28 "2013-03-28T18:19:34Z")
> [@Alessan](#): > > Why would I joke about that? I mean, I argue politics with my friends, I argue politics with my parents, I argue politics with my wife. It’s just politics. You’re \*supposed \*to argue about it. > > Plus, if it starts getting ugly, people usually change the subject and are hesitant to raise it again. Which means that if \*\*PRR \*\*had had a good row the first day it was there, chances are his host wouldn’t have brought the subject up again. As it was, he saw \*\*PRR’s \*\*lack of argument as tacit consent. I don’t like arguing with people in real life in general, and I especially don’t like arguing about politics. I always end up depressed or angry. I have to live with these people. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2013, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-spent-a-week-living-with-a-racist-birther/654147/29 "2013-03-28T19:01:20Z")
> [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](#): > > And if you know anything at all > about me (Jan. 2013? Probably not), I AM the fucking religion police 🙂 :eek: \ 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Red\_Wiggler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/red_wiggler/32/13190_2.png) [@Red\_Wiggler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Red_Wiggler)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2013, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-spent-a-week-living-with-a-racist-birther/654147/30 "2013-03-28T19:54:47Z")
> [@a35362](#): > > I had a roommate in college who used to pick fights with me to make me defend some stupid, tiny issue that I hadn’t really thought much about. I think she regarded it as a kind of mental exercise that she needed. Over time I came to realize that she thought she was helping me to learn to debate and to learn to assert myself. > > I came to hate her, and that was the end of the friendship. That’s one charitable possibility. Could be, too, that she was just an asshole. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2013, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-spent-a-week-living-with-a-racist-birther/654147/31 "2013-03-28T20:16:47Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > Ah. See, I never argue politics with anybody in real life, especially not my SO. I don’t argue much in real life or on the boards. Some of us actually don’t enjoy it, amazingly enough. It seems pointless and like wrestling with a pig to me…especially in the case of the OP. Same here. I generally despise talking politics and make an effort to avoid talking about it at all, especially when it comes to the more militant types, left or right, as the OP describes. I tend to be a bit left of center, but there’s friends I have well to the left of me that I avoid political discussion with as much as friends well to the right of me because there’s simply no non-emotional discussion to be had. I will discuss politics with more moderate personalities. In fact, I used to be a right-winger until I met a “New York liberal” in college who challenged my beliefs in an intellectual and relatively non-confrontational manner. So there is room for dialogue. But not when one begins by dismissing the other side as morons from the get-go, as in **prr** ’s case. In those situations, I just nod my head and change the subject. It’s as futile as trying to get into a rational discussion with moon landing hoaxers or hollow earthers. And I’m not limiting it to a conservative/Tea Party/Fox News thing, either. My extreme socialist friends who are just as irritating. ---
**Author:** ![Tollhouse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e99b99/32.png) [@Tollhouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tollhouse)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2013, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-spent-a-week-living-with-a-racist-birther/654147/32 "2013-03-29T05:51:38Z")
> [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](#): > > Because he didn’t know what the fuck he was doing at the Seder (he literally mispronounced his way through ONE brocha, and skipped the entire Haggadah) yet spent the week lecturing me on his standing as a Jew opposing Obama on Israel. By my estimation, Obama is a better Jew than this fellow. > > And if you know anything at all about me (Jan. 2013? Probably not), I AM the fucking religion police 🙂 oh, sorry, I didnot realize you were the official spokesperson for Judaism. Are you the guy whom all Rabbis refer to when they need to know how to be a better Jew and lead their synagogues more like how you think they should (in your humble opinion)? ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2013, 8:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-spent-a-week-living-with-a-racist-birther/654147/33 "2013-03-29T08:12:32Z")
> [@Tollhouse](#): > > oh, sorry, I didnot realize you were the official spokesperson for Judaism. Are you the guy whom all Rabbis refer to when they need to know how to be a better Jew and lead their synagogues more like how you think they should (in your humble opinion)? I think you were whooshed. We used to have a moderator named **manhattan** who became legendary for telling a poster, [“As it happens, _I_ am the fucking hall monitor.”](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=2744558&postcount=26) Dopers have been quoting him for the last 11 years. ---
**Author:** ![Gleena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b3f665/32.png) [@Gleena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gleena)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2013, 8:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-spent-a-week-living-with-a-racist-birther/654147/34 "2013-03-29T08:13:42Z")
> [@Tollhouse](#): > > oh, sorry, I didnot realize you were the official spokesperson for Judaism. Are you the guy whom all Rabbis refer to when they need to know how to be a better Jew and lead their synagogues more like how you think they should (in your humble opinion)? Poke **PRR** again, please, and I’ll go make some popcorn. You’re outmanned and outclassed here, son. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2013, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-spent-a-week-living-with-a-racist-birther/654147/35 "2013-03-29T15:45:48Z")
Good on ya, PRR. I work along the same lines. I’m not going to argue with or insult someone in their own house over their personal beliefs, especially when I am a stay-over guest. If their behavior or commentary becomes too offensive, then I will simply leave. I expect the same in my own house. You will not insult me or my beliefs. I won’t challenge yours for the most part, because I don’t want that shit under my roof. If your commentary becomes offensive to me, you will receive warnings long before you are disinvited. But on Neutral Ground, I’m going to layeth the smackdown. ---
**Author:** ![Tollhouse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e99b99/32.png) [@Tollhouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tollhouse)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2013, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-spent-a-week-living-with-a-racist-birther/654147/36 "2013-03-29T15:53:20Z")
> [@Gleena](#): > > Poke **PRR** again, please, and I’ll go make some popcorn. You’re outmanned and outclassed here, son. I dont understand your comment..? Have no idea what ‘prr’ is either ..The only comment I made was regarding the op who felt his friend was not Jewish enough, critiquing his Seder observance, and marriage to a non jew I hate that kind of thing, someone acting as the religion police feeling they are the spokesperson for the religion to decide whats Jewish enough ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2013, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-spent-a-week-living-with-a-racist-birther/654147/37 "2013-03-29T16:19:28Z")
This story reminds me of the episode of _Curb Your Enthusiasm_ – “The Seder” – in which Stephen Tobolowsky plays a conservative Republican who goes on an on about how great “Dubya” is and the “Rule of 77.” ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2013, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-spent-a-week-living-with-a-racist-birther/654147/38 "2013-03-29T16:37:56Z")
> [@Tollhouse](#): > > I dont understand your comment..? Have no idea what ‘prr’ is either > > ..The only comment I made was regarding the op who felt his friend was not Jewish enough, critiquing his Seder observance, and marriage to a non jew > > I hate that kind of thing, someone acting as the religion police feeling they are the spokesperson for the religion to decide whats Jewish enough He wasn’t saying his friend wasn’t Jewish enough, for goodness sakes. He was saying it’s hypocritical to give the barest nod to your own religion and then to rail on your President for not doing a good enough job for Israel, basing your right to complain on what a great Jew you are. You’re entitled to your own opinion if that’s a valid complaint, but as a Jew myself, I’d be kind of bemused by the scene myself. And **PRR** is the OP. ---
**Author:** ![Tollhouse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e99b99/32.png) [@Tollhouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tollhouse)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2013, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-spent-a-week-living-with-a-racist-birther/654147/39 "2013-03-29T16:54:12Z")
> [@IvoryTowerDenizen](#): > > He wasn’t saying his friend wasn’t Jewish enough, for goodness sakes. > > He was saying it’s hypocritical to give the barest nod to your own religion and then to rail on your President for not doing a good enough job for Israel, basing your right to complain on what a great Jew you are. You’re entitled to your own opinion if that’s a valid complaint, but as a Jew myself, I’d be kind of bemused by the scene myself. > > And **PRR** is the OP. Ok, so this just basically reinforced my observation…the op somehow feels he can define what makes a person Jewish ‘enough’ In his post he belittles the familys seder observance, his marriage to a non Jew, and comment on his children who are being raised in an interfaith family The father of someone I am close to refuses to go to this one synagogue anymore, after another member made a snarky comment about the fact his mother isnt Jewish, and afterall he is dating a reform Jew, as if this somehow adds an added layer of nominal Jewishness Of course this happens in other religions too, if you havent had confession in x amount, then you must not be a ‘serious Catholic’ etc I hate that kind of religious policing by others who seem to feel they are in a position to define what is Jewish, or Catholic, or Baptist or etc enough ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2013, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-spent-a-week-living-with-a-racist-birther/654147/40 "2013-03-29T17:11:40Z")
And you feel the need to hijack this entire thread for something you should take to the pit? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-spent-a-week-living-with-a-racist-birther/654147.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-spent-a-week-living-with-a-racist-birther/654147.md?page=3)