# I stood next to the Emperor of the World at McDonald's! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 26, 2002, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-stood-next-to-the-emperor-of-the-world-at-mcdonalds/145043 "2002-12-26T22:39:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2002, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-stood-next-to-the-emperor-of-the-world-at-mcdonalds/145043/41 "2002-12-27T18:28:55Z")
> [@](#): > > Is Sauron a girl? Thank you, **Mighty\_Girl.** You have singlehandedly brought me to my knees with horrid flashbacks of ninth-grade gym class. If anyone needs me, I’ll be curled in a fetal position over here in the corner, whimpering. Cupping my extremely large and manly testicles. Which, by the way, are just jam-packed with loads of testosterone. **Loads** , I tell you! ---
**Author:** ![jonpluc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/fbc32d/32.png) [@jonpluc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jonpluc)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2002, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-stood-next-to-the-emperor-of-the-world-at-mcdonalds/145043/42 "2002-12-27T18:33:36Z")
Wonderful story! At the very least consider it a threadspotting nomination. Well done! ---
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2002, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-stood-next-to-the-emperor-of-the-world-at-mcdonalds/145043/43 "2002-12-27T18:36:04Z")
Sauron. Thank you. I love the emperor’s peaceful repetitions of various versions of his mantra: “We have been waiting in line. No one has taken our order.” Beautiful! Emperors must be calm and serene given their power and authority. In other words, “Society and the universe persist in refusing to restructure themselves in a manner to accomodate my ignorance. But if I simply wait and persist in pointing it out, something will be done.” ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2002, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-stood-next-to-the-emperor-of-the-world-at-mcdonalds/145043/44 "2002-12-27T18:48:07Z")
I finally read this, and I liked it. Well done! ---
**Author:** ![Olentzero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/90ced4/32.png) [@Olentzero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Olentzero)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2002, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-stood-next-to-the-emperor-of-the-world-at-mcdonalds/145043/45 "2002-12-27T18:57:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mighty\_Girl \* > **I vote we make Sauron Empress (Emperor) of the World. I for one am willing to worship her (his) royal intelligence. Wow!** “And to think I wasted all this time over that damn Ring,” Sauron muttered to himself… ---
**Author:** ![Mighty\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7bcc69/32.png) [@Mighty\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mighty_Girl)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2002, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-stood-next-to-the-emperor-of-the-world-at-mcdonalds/145043/46 "2002-12-27T21:23:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by **Sauron** \* > Thank you, **Mighty\_Girl.** You have singlehandedly brought me to my knees :eek: What have I done? I’ve offended the next Emperor of the World! :smack: I beg Your Royal Bovine Highness for forgiveness. I hadn’t known thee before and therefore didn’t know that Thy Merciful Majesty is a man… er, I mean a bull. I humbly beg thee to spare my worthless bovine self. I am not worthy of thy pardon, but if you do spare my life I will dedicate my life to swatting your flies with MY tail. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2002, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-stood-next-to-the-emperor-of-the-world-at-mcdonalds/145043/47 "2002-12-27T21:33:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mighty\_Girl \* > I am not worthy of thy pardon, but if you do spare my life I will dedicate my life to swatting your flies with MY tail. > > 😉 Okay, quick, somebody hide this thread from my wife. ---
**Author:** ![lothos2002](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/df788c/32.png) [@lothos2002](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lothos2002)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2002, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-stood-next-to-the-emperor-of-the-world-at-mcdonalds/145043/48 "2002-12-27T22:40:05Z")
Sauron, that was a great OP! Congratulations! I second the threadspotting nomination! BRAVO. ---
**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2002, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-stood-next-to-the-emperor-of-the-world-at-mcdonalds/145043/49 "2002-12-27T23:16:02Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Sauron **Eutychus** : By all means, feel free to use the post as you see fit. I e-mailed you, as well._ [Done, Thanks!](http://www.teemings.com/extras/sauron01.html) ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2002, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-stood-next-to-the-emperor-of-the-world-at-mcdonalds/145043/50 "2002-12-28T00:31:05Z")
That was an outstanding piece or writing!! Wear the gold lame and bejeweled muu-muu in all it’s glory. The story reminded me of when I worked in an electronics store and a lazy oaf insisted on parking in the fire lane when half the lot was open. I refused to serve him until he parked properly. When he complained to my boss, the boss called the police. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![I\_can\_t\_believe\_that\_s\_butter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8edcca/32.png) [@I\_can\_t\_believe\_that\_s\_butter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_can_t_believe_that_s_butter)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2002, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-stood-next-to-the-emperor-of-the-world-at-mcdonalds/145043/51 "2002-12-28T00:37:49Z")
I must say that even your posts after your OP are exquisitely written, Sauron. You can learn so much from just hanging in the 'Pit, for crying out loud. ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2002, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-stood-next-to-the-emperor-of-the-world-at-mcdonalds/145043/52 "2002-12-28T02:44:03Z")
\*\*sauron, \*\* that was amazing. But yeah, you should have gored him. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2002, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-stood-next-to-the-emperor-of-the-world-at-mcdonalds/145043/53 "2002-12-28T03:58:01Z")
I think he works out at my gym too! He’s GOT to be the guy who leaves weights on the machines. DESPITE all the fluorescent pink signs saying “REPLACE YOUR WEIGHTS, WHEN FINISHED WITH MACHINE”!!! ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2002, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-stood-next-to-the-emperor-of-the-world-at-mcdonalds/145043/54 "2002-12-28T04:10:56Z")
**Sauron…** Yeay, tho thou stoodest in the presence of the Emperor of the World (_EotW_), thou havest a superior position before The One Who Made All (_TOWMA_). Thou art mighty and fell, beautiful in your power over the minds of men. Henceforth, shall ye be knowneth as: **God of the Pit** (_Gotp_) …tho not **Satan** , because that user name is already taken. ---
**Author:** ![racinchikki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@racinchikki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racinchikki)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2002, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-stood-next-to-the-emperor-of-the-world-at-mcdonalds/145043/55 "2002-12-28T04:38:13Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by **Sauron** _ > Finally! I get to the counter. I place my order. I look again to my left after I order. Guy’s still there. Three kids are still there. Woman is still there. Now a sixth person has joined the group, standing behind the woman. Doesn’t seem to be part of their _karass_; looks like a construction worker of some sort. What’s a _karass_? ---
**Author:** ![djf750](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ea666f/32.png) [@djf750](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/djf750)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2002, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-stood-next-to-the-emperor-of-the-world-at-mcdonalds/145043/56 "2002-12-28T04:46:03Z")
I have always hated the way MC D’s WILL NOT make one line like every other fast food place and every bank does. Now, after reading that MASTERPIECE, I will never bitch about it again. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2002, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-stood-next-to-the-emperor-of-the-world-at-mcdonalds/145043/57 "2002-12-28T04:57:40Z")
Pure genius. May I touch you? ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2002, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-stood-next-to-the-emperor-of-the-world-at-mcdonalds/145043/58 "2002-12-28T05:01:30Z")
> [@](#): > > Cupping my extremely large and manly testicles. Which, by the way, are just jam-packed with loads of testosterone. Loads, I tell you! This is a sig line if ever I saw one. ---
**Author:** ![lezlers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@lezlers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lezlers)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2002, 7:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-stood-next-to-the-emperor-of-the-world-at-mcdonalds/145043/59 "2002-12-28T07:19:13Z")
Awesome rant **Sauron**. Simply awesome. ---
**Author:** ![Fugazi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f08c70/32.png) [@Fugazi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fugazi)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2002, 10:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-stood-next-to-the-emperor-of-the-world-at-mcdonalds/145043/60 "2002-12-28T10:17:30Z")
Now I’ve got this picture stuck in my head of the Secret Cow Level from Diablo II. I see about 100 cows standing on hind legs, weapons in hand, at McDonald’s. moo… moo… moo… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-stood-next-to-the-emperor-of-the-world-at-mcdonalds/145043.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-stood-next-to-the-emperor-of-the-world-at-mcdonalds/145043.md?page=4)