# I suck and I blow; also, Communist Little Girls and Their Communisty Lemonade Stand! \[Fixed title\] **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 8, 2010, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-suck-and-i-blow-also-communist-little-girls-and-their-communisty-lemonade-stand-fixed-title/545976 "2010-07-08T16:35:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Gangster\_Octopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a8b319/32.png) [@Gangster\_Octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gangster_Octopus)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2010, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-suck-and-i-blow-also-communist-little-girls-and-their-communisty-lemonade-stand-fixed-title/545976/1 "2010-07-08T16:35:58Z")
Check it out [here.](http://www.suntimes.com/business/savage/2464546,CST-NWS-savage05.savagearticle) > [@](#): > > Then my brother asked how much each item cost. > > “Oh, no,” they replied in unison, “they’re all free!” > > I sat in the back seat in shock. Free? My brother questioned them again: “But you have to charge something? What should I pay for a lemonade? I’m really thirsty!” > > His fiancee smiled and commented, “Isn’t that cute. They have the spirit of giving.” > > That really set me off, as my regular readers can imagine. > > “No!” I exclaimed from the back seat. “That’s not the spirit of giving. You can only really give when you give something you own. They’re giving away their parents’ things – the lemonade, cups, candy. It’s not theirs to give.” > > I pushed the button to roll down the window and stuck my head out to set them straight. > > “You must charge something for the lemonade,” I explained. “That’s the whole point of a lemonade stand. You figure out your costs – how much the lemonade costs, and the cups – and then you charge a little more than what it costs you, so you can make money. Then you can buy more stuff, and make more lemonade, and sell it and make more money.” Yes, by all means set these communists straight from their generous, charitable ways. it is important to teach them the TRUTH. Which is of course, that this lemonade stand is “all that is wrong with America” in microcosm. This lemonade stand represents the liberal, creeping socialism where we expect to have things given to us on a silver platter by the government…or someone. Little girls, HOW DARE YOU!! It isn’t enough to maybe let them know that they could charge something, it is important to make sure that they know that giving away the lemonade is flat-out wrong and UN-AMERICAN!! You must, and I quote…“make more money”. Douchy McDouchinstein, thank you for fighting the good fight against the insidiousness of happy, cheerful, generous little girls. Next stop puppies and rainbows. TO THE DOUCHEMOBILE!! ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2010, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-suck-and-i-blow-also-communist-little-girls-and-their-communisty-lemonade-stand-fixed-title/545976/2 "2010-07-08T16:39:14Z")
I think your title is a bit too descriptive. Could you vague it up just a bit? ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2010, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-suck-and-i-blow-also-communist-little-girls-and-their-communisty-lemonade-stand-fixed-title/545976/3 "2010-07-08T16:42:34Z")
??? ETA: I wanted this to be my whole post, but I’m too loquacious for that. Okay, _someone_ needs to unbunch his panties. But I’m not saying who. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Gangster\_Octopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a8b319/32.png) [@Gangster\_Octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gangster_Octopus)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2010, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-suck-and-i-blow-also-communist-little-girls-and-their-communisty-lemonade-stand-fixed-title/545976/4 "2010-07-08T16:43:15Z")
Wow, how did that happen? I had a REAL title. “Terry Savage Savages Communist Little Girls and Their Coumministy Lemonade Stand” I must of done something wonky. I’ll ask for some moderator help. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2010, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-suck-and-i-blow-also-communist-little-girls-and-their-communisty-lemonade-stand-fixed-title/545976/5 "2010-07-08T16:44:56Z")
Maybe get them to fix your spelling while you’re at it. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Gangster\_Octopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a8b319/32.png) [@Gangster\_Octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gangster_Octopus)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2010, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-suck-and-i-blow-also-communist-little-girls-and-their-communisty-lemonade-stand-fixed-title/545976/6 "2010-07-08T16:47:31Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > Maybe get them to fix your spelling while you’re at it. 🙂 Such as? ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2010, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-suck-and-i-blow-also-communist-little-girls-and-their-communisty-lemonade-stand-fixed-title/545976/7 "2010-07-08T16:49:35Z")
“Coumministy” - well, unless that’s how you mean to spell it. I would have gone with “Communisty,” but it’s not my thread. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Ravenman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ravenman/32/2929_2.png) [@Ravenman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ravenman)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2010, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-suck-and-i-blow-also-communist-little-girls-and-their-communisty-lemonade-stand-fixed-title/545976/8 "2010-07-08T16:49:38Z")
Charity begins at home. I mean, _profit_ begins at home. ---
**Author:** ![woodstockbirdybird](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/woodstockbirdybird/32/7905_2.png) [@woodstockbirdybird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/woodstockbirdybird)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2010, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-suck-and-i-blow-also-communist-little-girls-and-their-communisty-lemonade-stand-fixed-title/545976/9 "2010-07-08T16:53:28Z")
> [@Gangster\_Octopus](#): > > I must of done something wonky. I’ll ask for some moderator help. “Must _have_ done something wonky”. “Must of” literally makes no sense. End of grammar Nazi post. ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2010, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-suck-and-i-blow-also-communist-little-girls-and-their-communisty-lemonade-stand-fixed-title/545976/10 "2010-07-08T16:54:02Z")
> [@](#): > > If we can’t teach our kids the basics of running a lemonade stand, how can we ever teach Congress the basics of economics? I know, right?? I mean, that’s the standard of education, isn’t it? What you yell to some little girls who are, admittedly, still wearing their optimist glasses and haven’t yet been steeled for the big cold world of reality is _clearly_ analogous to how our lawmakers perceive the needs of the people. Thank you, Terry Savage! You’re clearly _not_ a shit-for-brains loudmouth who, say, hears a second-hand story about things like kids giving away lemonade and then makes up story about “how _I_ would’ve reacted!” if you had been there just to prove how less OMG_ **SOCIALIST!!!** _ you are than the rest of us. ---
**Author:** ![Gangster\_Octopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a8b319/32.png) [@Gangster\_Octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gangster_Octopus)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2010, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-suck-and-i-blow-also-communist-little-girls-and-their-communisty-lemonade-stand-fixed-title/545976/11 "2010-07-08T16:56:40Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > “Coumministy” - well, unless that’s how you mean to spell it. I would have gone with “Communisty,” but it’s not my thread. 🙂 Noted and you are correct, it is a typo. I was just defensive because I have in the past hit the submit button too quickly only to realize that I had written a garb led mess of misspellings and typos that my cat could have improved upon. ---
**Author:** ![njtt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecd19e/32.png) [@njtt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/njtt)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2010, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-suck-and-i-blow-also-communist-little-girls-and-their-communisty-lemonade-stand-fixed-title/545976/12 "2010-07-08T17:05:45Z")
Wow, I bet he’s fun at Christmas and birthdays! ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2010, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-suck-and-i-blow-also-communist-little-girls-and-their-communisty-lemonade-stand-fixed-title/545976/13 "2010-07-08T17:07:41Z")
You US Americans and your fear of the dreaded socialism are really getting funny with it. Maybe someday you’ll realize that a little socialism in the right places actually frees up your society. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2010, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-suck-and-i-blow-also-communist-little-girls-and-their-communisty-lemonade-stand-fixed-title/545976/14 "2010-07-08T17:11:57Z")
That guy is a pussy. “I rolled down the window and yelled at them.” He is clearly not to be trusted with teaching our children about the evil of communism. I would have got out of the car roundhouse kicked the girls in their heads and taken ALL of their lemonade and said, “That, bitches, is how communism is supposed to work.” It makes me sad some days that not everyone is awesome like me. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2010, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-suck-and-i-blow-also-communist-little-girls-and-their-communisty-lemonade-stand-fixed-title/545976/15 "2010-07-08T17:12:52Z")
> [@Gangster\_Octopus](#): > > Such as? He’s talking about your misspelling of “!”. ---
**Author:** ![Buck\_Godot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/buck_godot/32/6573_2.png) [@Buck\_Godot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Buck_Godot)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2010, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-suck-and-i-blow-also-communist-little-girls-and-their-communisty-lemonade-stand-fixed-title/545976/16 "2010-07-08T17:14:12Z")
I bet they used fluoridated water in making the lemonade. That’s how the commies get you, they sap and impurify all of your precious bodily fluids. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2010, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-suck-and-i-blow-also-communist-little-girls-and-their-communisty-lemonade-stand-fixed-title/545976/17 "2010-07-08T17:17:31Z")
Not that it matters, but Terry Savage is female. She’s the financial columnist for the Chicago Sun-Times, and shows up on the local NBC affiliate occasionally as well. Apparently she’s just a little **too** into her work… :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2010, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-suck-and-i-blow-also-communist-little-girls-and-their-communisty-lemonade-stand-fixed-title/545976/18 "2010-07-08T17:19:21Z")
Ms. Savage appears to be guilty of a strained analogy. She’s not wrong about TANSTAAFL, but even Admiral Bob woulda given a pass to the little girls and their lemonade stand. ---
**Author:** ![Bosstone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@Bosstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstone)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2010, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-suck-and-i-blow-also-communist-little-girls-and-their-communisty-lemonade-stand-fixed-title/545976/19 "2010-07-08T17:22:53Z")
That is a psychotic article. And if true, you can bet those kids will never do charity work. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2010, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-suck-and-i-blow-also-communist-little-girls-and-their-communisty-lemonade-stand-fixed-title/545976/20 "2010-07-08T17:23:38Z")
Remarkable that the article contains neither the word “socialism” nor “Obama.” Today’s readers may lack the skills needed to read between the lines. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-suck-and-i-blow-also-communist-little-girls-and-their-communisty-lemonade-stand-fixed-title/545976.md?page=2)