# I swiftly herewith consign to the pit, the ignorant clowns who misconstrue "its" **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 11, 2012, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-swiftly-herewith-consign-to-the-pit-the-ignorant-clowns-who-misconstrue-its/627871 "2012-07-11T05:44:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![greenslime1951](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e9bcb4/32.png) [@greenslime1951](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/greenslime1951)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-swiftly-herewith-consign-to-the-pit-the-ignorant-clowns-who-misconstrue-its/627871/1 "2012-07-11T05:44:38Z")
Specifically, those who don’t understand the difference between “it’s” and “its” and use them interchangeably. Lynne Truss wants such people to be killed by lightning and then buried in unmarked graves. I think that’s too good for them. I propose that they be rounded up and sent to a remote Canadian island currently only inhabited by rabid polar bears. I feel a visceral rage whenever I see a sign proclaiming, “Its our going-out-of-business sale!” or “The best in it’s class!” The only reason I’m not in prison is that I kill the offenders very discreetly. Is anyone else moved to a state of homicidal fury by bad spelling and grammar, from individuals who during their four years in third grade, should have learned better? ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-swiftly-herewith-consign-to-the-pit-the-ignorant-clowns-who-misconstrue-its/627871/2 "2012-07-11T05:46:53Z")
Generic agreement, extended to all apostrophe abuses. My commute used to take me past a store with a big sign that said “Drug’s.” I can’t tell you how many times I wished for the courage to spray-paint it out some lonely night. ---
**Author:** ![Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df705f/32.png) [@Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maggie_the_Ocelot)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-swiftly-herewith-consign-to-the-pit-the-ignorant-clowns-who-misconstrue-its/627871/3 "2012-07-11T05:56:37Z")
Florists who offer “Bokays”. What. The. Hell. ---
**Author:** ![Molotok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecd19e/32.png) [@Molotok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Molotok)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-swiftly-herewith-consign-to-the-pit-the-ignorant-clowns-who-misconstrue-its/627871/4 "2012-07-11T05:58:01Z")
You burn they’re dog? ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 6:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-swiftly-herewith-consign-to-the-pit-the-ignorant-clowns-who-misconstrue-its/627871/5 "2012-07-11T06:13:26Z")
> [@greenslime1951](#): > > I feel a visceral rage whenever I see a sign proclaiming, “Its our going-out-of-business sale!” or “The best in it’s class!” The only reason I’m not in prison is that I kill the offenders very discreetly. Remind me never to send you to the grocer’s. ---
**Author:** ![greenslime1951](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e9bcb4/32.png) [@greenslime1951](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/greenslime1951)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 6:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-swiftly-herewith-consign-to-the-pit-the-ignorant-clowns-who-misconstrue-its/627871/6 "2012-07-11T06:36:49Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > Remind me never to send you to the grocer’s. Yes. I would be a real danger to the grocers who work at the grocer’s. Especially the ones who write the signs saying “WATERMELON’S $5”; I would feel insulted that they thought that I would just take the five bucks without first ascertaining if it belonged to the watermelon. ---
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 6:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-swiftly-herewith-consign-to-the-pit-the-ignorant-clowns-who-misconstrue-its/627871/7 "2012-07-11T06:58:01Z")
Hey, at least it doesn’t say “Apple’s .89¢ each.” ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 7:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-swiftly-herewith-consign-to-the-pit-the-ignorant-clowns-who-misconstrue-its/627871/8 "2012-07-11T07:07:32Z")
A few days ago, during a late night session of Starcraft II, I typed out “you’re” when grammar actually called for “your” and my friend pointed it out. I blamed it on me being tired and distracted by the game, but I hereby submit myself for ridicule and the appropriate punishment. ---
**Author:** ![bldysabba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecccb3/32.png) [@bldysabba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bldysabba)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 7:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-swiftly-herewith-consign-to-the-pit-the-ignorant-clowns-who-misconstrue-its/627871/9 "2012-07-11T07:12:40Z")
While I understand the difference and take care to use appropriately, my desire to heap opprobrium upon those who do not reduced markedly when I noticed that it’s a really easy mistake to make if you’re not being careful, or if you haven’t slept at night. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 7:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-swiftly-herewith-consign-to-the-pit-the-ignorant-clowns-who-misconstrue-its/627871/10 "2012-07-11T07:26:38Z")
> [@greenslime1951](#): > > Yes. I would be a real danger to the grocers who work at the grocer’s. Especially the ones who write the signs saying “WATERMELON’S $5”; I would feel insulted that they thought that I would just take the five bucks without first ascertaining if it belonged to the watermelon. Oh, it’s [even worse](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=258VgUmnZzY&t=31m49s) than you know. ---
**Author:** ![MEBuckner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mebuckner/32/2896_2.png) [@MEBuckner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MEBuckner)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 7:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-swiftly-herewith-consign-to-the-pit-the-ignorant-clowns-who-misconstrue-its/627871/11 "2012-07-11T07:29:02Z")
Also, people who misuse quotation marks in bizarre and laughable ways: > [@](#): > > FOR SALE > “FRESH” > PRODUCE :dubious: So…not actually so “fresh”, then? ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 7:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-swiftly-herewith-consign-to-the-pit-the-ignorant-clowns-who-misconstrue-its/627871/12 "2012-07-11T07:52:52Z")
And restaurants claiming to have homemade pies! What the hell do we do about them? ---
**Author:** ![greenslime1951](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e9bcb4/32.png) [@greenslime1951](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/greenslime1951)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 8:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-swiftly-herewith-consign-to-the-pit-the-ignorant-clowns-who-misconstrue-its/627871/13 "2012-07-11T08:01:24Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > And restaurants claiming to have homemade pies! What the hell do we do about them? I don’t think we can bring the Grammar Hammer down on them, though, as most restaurants are indeed home to hundreds if not thousands of cockroaches. ---
**Author:** ![Cheesesteak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheesesteak/32/3694_2.png) [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 9:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-swiftly-herewith-consign-to-the-pit-the-ignorant-clowns-who-misconstrue-its/627871/14 "2012-07-11T09:14:07Z")
> [@MEBuckner](#): > > Also, people who misuse quotation marks in bizarre and laughable ways: Ahhh yes, the quotation mark as highlighter routine. My mother does this, in birthday cards. I know she’s just trying to accentuate the words but > [@](#): > > You are a “wonderful” son just doesn’t play out quite right when I read it. ---
**Author:** ![kferr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/71e660/32.png) [@kferr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kferr)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 11:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-swiftly-herewith-consign-to-the-pit-the-ignorant-clowns-who-misconstrue-its/627871/15 "2012-07-11T11:15:52Z")
The one that winds me up is using ‘breaks’ for ‘brakes’. ---
**Author:** ![Locrian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/locrian/32/14146_2.png) [@Locrian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Locrian)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 11:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-swiftly-herewith-consign-to-the-pit-the-ignorant-clowns-who-misconstrue-its/627871/16 "2012-07-11T11:22:54Z")
> [@greenslime1951](#): > > Specifically, those who don’t understand the difference between “it’s” and “its” and use them interchangeably. > > Lynne Truss wants such people to be killed by lightning and then buried in unmarked graves. I think that’s too good for them. I propose that they be rounded up and sent to a remote Canadian island currently only inhabited by rabid polar bears. > > I feel a visceral rage whenever I see a sign proclaiming, “Its our going-out-of-business sale!” or “The best in it’s class!” The only reason I’m not in prison is that I kill the offenders very discreetly. > > Is anyone else moved to a state of homicidal fury by bad spelling and grammar, from individuals who during their four years in third grade, should have learned better? I work in captions and subtitles. You have NO idea how many times I’ve had to type the word “funner” in recent days. When I do, that’s exactly how it looks on screen, with quotes around it, so people know, yes, that’s REALLY the fucking, dumbshit word the actor uttered. Not a real word. Most likely it will be a word in a month or so. Just like “till.” I can’t get used to someone saying, “I’ll be here 'til Monday,” and having it spelled as “till.” That is now acceptable. Laziness abound. How hard is it to make an apostrophe with a computer? KILL THE WRITERS! Also, the “two”, “too”, and “to” is always a problem. Admittedly, I’ll make mistakes with that. I’ll also admit making mistakes with “our” and “are”. Hey, I’ve got deadlines. Unfortunately, QC is a thing of the past. ---
**Author:** ![clairobscur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/839c29/32.png) [@clairobscur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clairobscur)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 11:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-swiftly-herewith-consign-to-the-pit-the-ignorant-clowns-who-misconstrue-its/627871/17 "2012-07-11T11:37:50Z")
> [@greenslime1951](#): > > Is anyone else moved to a state of homicidal fury by bad spelling and grammar, from individuals who during their four years in third grade, should have learned better? I’m typically simply appaled. That would be on French-speaking boards, since I usually don’t notice spelling and grammar mistakes in English, and even when I do (like in your its/it’s example), I’m certainly not proficient enough in English to correct someone else. However, I thought recently that it might be one of the reasons why I keep hanging out on English-speaking boards rather than on French speaking ones. I often leave a French board after reading the first page because I feel like I’m dealing with a collection of illiterate idiots (they probably aren’t really idiots, but having every other word grossly misspelt certainly gives this impression). On English boards, I don’t notice so I feel like like I’m talking with intelligent people. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 11:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-swiftly-herewith-consign-to-the-pit-the-ignorant-clowns-who-misconstrue-its/627871/18 "2012-07-11T11:49:37Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > And restaurants claiming to have homemade pies! What the hell do we do about them? At least they’re not “HO-MADE” pies, although that might be more accurate. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 12:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-swiftly-herewith-consign-to-the-pit-the-ignorant-clowns-who-misconstrue-its/627871/19 "2012-07-11T12:13:49Z")
> [@clairobscur](#): > > However, I thought recently that it might be one of the reasons why I keep hanging out on English-speaking boards rather than on French speaking ones. I once saw a mention of a Spanish-language message board where SMS-Spanish (_semesero_) is not accepted and proper grammar and spelling are required: it’s ok to use dialectal variations, it is not ok to spell _queso_ as “keso”, much less _cultura_ as “kultura” (it isn’t even shorter, just dumber!). It was in an article about how texting and IM are changing language. Sadly I couldn’t write the address down and I never found the reference again… ☹ l33tspeak I tolerate badly; _semesero_ makes me want to gouge eyes out. ---
**Author:** ![Ulf\_the\_Unwashed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Ulf\_the\_Unwashed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ulf_the_Unwashed)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-swiftly-herewith-consign-to-the-pit-the-ignorant-clowns-who-misconstrue-its/627871/20 "2012-07-11T12:32:07Z")
I think what the OP _meant_ to write is: I “swiftly” herewith consign to the pit’s, The ignorant clown’s who misconstrue “it’s.” Lets see some “genuine” rhyme’s here, not this slant rhyme that was in the OP. I mean, if your gonna write in a nice poetic “meter” with poeticle feet’s, do it rite, amiwrite? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-swiftly-herewith-consign-to-the-pit-the-ignorant-clowns-who-misconstrue-its/627871.md?page=2)