# I tend to "grow" when I get in water...
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-tend-to-grow-when-i-get-in-water/481741
**Category:** Factual Questions
**Created:** [January 17, 2009, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-tend-to-grow-when-i-get-in-water/481741 "2009-01-17T13:59:54Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@czarcaztic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/czarcaztic)
#### Post date: [January 17, 2009, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-tend-to-grow-when-i-get-in-water/481741/1 "2009-01-17T13:59:54Z")
I’ve noticed that my penis gets longer when I’m in a pool. Normally, I’m a “one fister with a bit of room left over”, but when I get in the pool, I become a definite “two fister”. My girlfriend is the one that really noticed this first.
Any explanation?
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### Author:  [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)
#### Post date: [January 17, 2009, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-tend-to-grow-when-i-get-in-water/481741/2 "2009-01-17T14:01:50Z")
Hee hee hee! He said ‘penis’!
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### Author:  [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)
#### Post date: [January 17, 2009, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-tend-to-grow-when-i-get-in-water/481741/3 "2009-01-17T14:26:47Z")
> [@czarcaztic](#):
>
> My girlfriend is the one that really noticed this first.
If you’re in the water with your girlfriend, and she’s measuring your penis, that may explain the growth.
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### Author:  [@Dilton\_Doiley\_Philosopher\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dilton_Doiley_Philosopher_King)
#### Post date: [January 17, 2009, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-tend-to-grow-when-i-get-in-water/481741/4 "2009-01-17T14:28:32Z")
It grows? “Like an angry turtle!”
Srsly: What is the water temperature? Do your testicles retract or protract?
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### Author:  [@Cuckoorex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cuckoorex)
#### Post date: [January 17, 2009, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-tend-to-grow-when-i-get-in-water/481741/5 "2009-01-17T14:28:37Z")
deleted because it was rude
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### Author:  [@WF\_Tomba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WF_Tomba)
#### Post date: [January 17, 2009, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-tend-to-grow-when-i-get-in-water/481741/6 "2009-01-17T14:35:09Z")
Try swimming with the old people and see if it still happens.
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### Author:  [@Fake\_Tales\_of\_San\_Francisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fake_Tales_of_San_Francisco)
#### Post date: [January 17, 2009, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-tend-to-grow-when-i-get-in-water/481741/7 "2009-01-17T14:47:59Z")
I’m putting my money on Optical Illusion Caused By Pool Surface Ripples. :rolleyes:
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### Author:  [@Tangent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tangent)
#### Post date: [January 17, 2009, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-tend-to-grow-when-i-get-in-water/481741/8 "2009-01-17T17:21:58Z")
It’s called an erection.
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### Author:  [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)
#### Post date: [January 17, 2009, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-tend-to-grow-when-i-get-in-water/481741/9 "2009-01-17T18:04:06Z")
> [@](#):
>
> I’m putting my money on Optical Illusion Caused By Pool Surface Ripples.
That was my first thought, but given that he’s using “fists” as his unit of length, I suspect that the measurement is being made tactilely, not optically.
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### Author:  [@Chief\_Pedant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chief_Pedant)
#### Post date: [January 17, 2009, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-tend-to-grow-when-i-get-in-water/481741/10 "2009-01-17T18:09:00Z")
> [@Chronos](#):
>
> That was my first thought, but given that he’s using “fists” as his unit of length, I suspect that the measurement is being made tactilely, not optically.
But if he’s touching himself to take the measurement, would not the Observer’s Paradox account for the length difference? (Assuming the Package works correctly when it’s cuddled tenderly in a fist.)
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### Author:  [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)
#### Post date: [January 17, 2009, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-tend-to-grow-when-i-get-in-water/481741/11 "2009-01-17T18:44:47Z")
Schrodenger’s Penisdox?
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### Author:  [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)
#### Post date: [January 17, 2009, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-tend-to-grow-when-i-get-in-water/481741/12 "2009-01-17T18:46:34Z")
Penile equivalent of pruney skin?
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### Author:  [@notfrommensa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/notfrommensa)
#### Post date: [January 17, 2009, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-tend-to-grow-when-i-get-in-water/481741/13 "2009-01-17T18:51:50Z")
Maybe hand shrinkage?
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### Author:  [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)
#### Post date: [January 17, 2009, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-tend-to-grow-when-i-get-in-water/481741/14 "2009-01-17T18:52:53Z")
> [@notfrommensa](#):
>
> Maybe hand shrinkage?
_goes off to get Q-tips to remove coffee from nooks and crannies on keyboard_
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### Author:  [@MOIDALIZE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MOIDALIZE)
#### Post date: [January 17, 2009, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-tend-to-grow-when-i-get-in-water/481741/15 "2009-01-17T19:16:42Z")
ATTN: Internet
I HAEV BIG PENiS
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### Author:  [@Mr.Slant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Slant)
#### Post date: [January 17, 2009, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-tend-to-grow-when-i-get-in-water/481741/16 "2009-01-17T19:24:53Z")
WAG: Your body increases blood volume and blood flow in an effort to regulate the temperature, and keep your dong from freezing off.
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### Author:  [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)
#### Post date: [January 17, 2009, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-tend-to-grow-when-i-get-in-water/481741/17 "2009-01-17T19:28:24Z")
Maybe it’s your fists that are shrinking. Ever think of that?
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### Author:  [@Tangent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tangent)
#### Post date: [January 17, 2009, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-tend-to-grow-when-i-get-in-water/481741/18 "2009-01-17T20:20:02Z")
> [@The\_Second\_Stone](#):
>
> Ever think of that?
**notfrommensa** thought of that just four posts ago. 🆒
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### Author:  [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)
#### Post date: [January 17, 2009, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-tend-to-grow-when-i-get-in-water/481741/19 "2009-01-17T21:00:24Z")
> [@](#):
>
> But if he’s touching himself to take the measurement, would not the Observer’s Paradox account for the length difference?
Not if the other experimental variables are kept consistent. When he takes his penis in hand while on dry land, it takes only a little more than one hand to do the job, but when he does the same, with presumably all else being equal other than the immersion in water, it takes two hands. So apparently the water is making a difference somehow.
Then, too, while the size of the penis does respond to measurement, it does not do so instantaneously. It seems that it should take long enough that one could get a very good sense of its size in both the flaccid and turgid states.
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### Author:  [@Antigen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antigen)
#### Post date: [January 17, 2009, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-tend-to-grow-when-i-get-in-water/481741/20 "2009-01-17T21:08:28Z")
> [@Chronos](#):
>
> Not if the other experimental variables are kept consistent. When he takes his penis in hand while on dry land, it takes only a little more than one hand to do the job, but when he does the same, with presumably all else being equal other than the immersion in water, it takes two hands. So apparently the water is making a difference somehow.
>
> Then, too, while the size of the penis does respond to measurement, it does not do so instantaneously. It seems that it should take long enough that one could get a very good sense of its size in both the flaccid and turgid states.
This. This is the sort of stuff that makes me love this place.
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