# I think anti-bullying programs are a bunch of crap. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 10, 2013, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-anti-bullying-programs-are-a-bunch-of-crap/673587 "2013-11-10T18:17:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2013, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-anti-bullying-programs-are-a-bunch-of-crap/673587/21 "2013-11-11T01:48:48Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > Something along the lines of the Spartan _agoge,_ perhaps. Toughens 'em up. That which does not kill us makes us stronger, but first, it hurts a lot. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2013, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-anti-bullying-programs-are-a-bunch-of-crap/673587/22 "2013-11-11T02:24:36Z")
> [@Ethilrist](#): > > That which does not kill us makes us stronger, but first, it hurts a lot. That which does not kill us just postpones the inevitable. ---
**Author:** ![Simplicio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c37758/32.png) [@Simplicio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simplicio)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2013, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-anti-bullying-programs-are-a-bunch-of-crap/673587/23 "2013-11-11T03:16:00Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > I was just saying what I thought, and felt this was the best forum to do so. I didn’t plan on being mocked. > > :rolleyes: :smack: I think if we had some sort of program that taught Dopers not to mock people just for making dumb OP’s, you probably would’ve been spared the mocking. ---
**Author:** ![MEBuckner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mebuckner/32/2896_2.png) [@MEBuckner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MEBuckner)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2013, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-anti-bullying-programs-are-a-bunch-of-crap/673587/24 "2013-11-11T03:22:22Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > I was just saying what I thought, and felt this was the best forum to do so. I didn’t plan on being mocked. > > :rolleyes: :smack: “Hey, why ya keep Pittin’ yourself? Huh? Why ya keep Pittin’ yourself?” ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2013, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-anti-bullying-programs-are-a-bunch-of-crap/673587/25 "2013-11-11T04:48:37Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > Something along the lines of the Spartan _agoge,_ perhaps. Toughens 'em up. Is that like the wolves scene in _300_? While I generally agree with setting wolves on small children, we’re going to need a lot more wolves. ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2013, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-anti-bullying-programs-are-a-bunch-of-crap/673587/26 "2013-11-11T05:03:38Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > I was just saying what I thought, and felt this was the best forum to do so. I didn’t plan on being mocked. > > :rolleyes: :smack: So, help us out here OP. Why do you think programs that address bullying are crap? What would you suggest we offer as an alternative? Do you think we should all just ignore it and the problems will go away? How about adding a bit of substance to yer’ spittle and froth? :rolleyes: > [@](#): > > About half of those are random comments about how women do terrible things, often to their children. The most startling thing about this OP is that she didn’t include a story about a FOAF’s SIL whose kids were grateful to go to school where all they got was bullied. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2013, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-anti-bullying-programs-are-a-bunch-of-crap/673587/27 "2013-11-11T05:16:34Z")
> [@Ethilrist](#): > > That which does not kill us makes us stronger, but first, it hurts a lot. So you’re pro-bullying, then? ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2013, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-anti-bullying-programs-are-a-bunch-of-crap/673587/28 "2013-11-11T05:20:26Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > I was just saying what I thought… WHY do people keep doing this? Did someone tell them this is a good idea? ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2013, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-anti-bullying-programs-are-a-bunch-of-crap/673587/29 "2013-11-11T05:44:56Z")
To be perfectly honest, I do think the world has gone a bit mad over the whole notion of bullying. I’m 53 now, and stuff that was just regular playground shenanigans back then are now **Very Serious Issues**. Minor teasing is now grounds for the victim to claim PTSD (hyperbole folks) when back in the good old days, you might have been teased for a day or so, then you’d be welcomed back into the gang with the role of the teaser! Some kids though were teased mercilessly from Prep onwards: often kids with a developmental delay of some sort, or the very poor where regular hygiene practices were lacking. Either my memory is selective or I’m in denial, but I don’t ever remember being a true bully to anyone: if anything, I befriended the friendless, at least until I got sick of the bad smell or something. I DO remember the day that a little Italian firebrand called Gina who was half my fucking size gave me a big punch in the gob…of course, I _had_ called her a slut just five minutes before, but anyways…(Thornbury High School, 1972 if you happen to be a member Gina!) I was so embarrassed…my mum called the Headmaster and everything, and I just wanted to crawl under a rock for being a dobber. 😃 Now that is not to say that true bullying does not take place, and of course the role of social media outlets have taken face-to-face bullying into a whole new sphere. It’s now so much easier to be a nasty fucker via FBook, and getting a whole heap of ‘Likes’ just fuels the bullying inferno. It is so different now, that I truly believe we need to re-educate (and again and again until it sinks in) that words can hurt. But we also need to educate the _victims_ of bullying that sometimes ya just need to put yer’ big boy pants/blouse on and work through it. Oh god I feel OLD. This is such a new world that kids are trying to negotiate and get through with their psyches intact. Wish I could wave a magic wand… ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2013, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-anti-bullying-programs-are-a-bunch-of-crap/673587/30 "2013-11-11T05:53:23Z")
I’m not a bully. In fact, some of my best friends in school were bullying victims!!! ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2013, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-anti-bullying-programs-are-a-bunch-of-crap/673587/31 "2013-11-11T06:06:02Z")
> [@Ethilrist](#): > > That which does not kill us makes us stronger, but first, it hurts a lot. > [@Colibri](#): > > That which does not kill us just postpones the inevitable. That which does not kill us has made a tactical error. ---
**Author:** ![BubbaDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bubbadog/32/333_2.png) [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2013, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-anti-bullying-programs-are-a-bunch-of-crap/673587/32 "2013-11-11T15:04:37Z")
> [@kambuckta](#): > > So, help us out here OP. Why do you think programs that address bullying are crap? What would you suggest we offer as an alternative? Do you think we should all just ignore it and the problems will go away? > > How about adding a bit of substance to yer’ spittle and froth? :rolleyes: > > 😃 Don’t count on getting any replies of substance. Expect her to toss out a few more random comments the next time she drives by this thread (if she shows at all). ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2013, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-anti-bullying-programs-are-a-bunch-of-crap/673587/33 "2013-11-11T15:57:25Z")
> [@BubbaDog](#): > > Expect her to toss out a few more random comments the next time she drives by this thread (if she shows at all). I don’t know about you, but I’m dipping her pony tails in the ink well the second she returns. ---
**Author:** ![wevets](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e9a140/32.png) [@wevets](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wevets)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2013, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-anti-bullying-programs-are-a-bunch-of-crap/673587/34 "2013-11-11T16:12:16Z")
> [@kambuckta](#): > > To be perfectly honest, I do think the world has gone a bit mad over the whole notion of bullying. I’m 53 now, and stuff that was just regular playground shenanigans back then are now **Very Serious Issues**. Minor teasing is now grounds for the victim to claim PTSD (hyperbole folks) when back in the good old days, you might have been teased for a day or so, then you’d be welcomed back into the gang with the role of the teaser! Do you really believe the teased are accepted into the gang? That doesn’t jibe with my experience as a teacher (or from when I was in school either.) I think a much more likely scenario has a kid teasing a whole bunch of people, and depending on their responses, and/or the capriciousness of childhood decision-making, some are accepted socially and others are not. For those who are not, the teasing frequently escalates. > [@](#): > > Either my memory is selective or I’m in denial, but I don’t ever remember being a true bully to anyone: if anything, I befriended the friendless, at least until I got sick of the bad smell or something. Ah, but the social outcasts do their own teasing too - just because someone’s a social outcast doesn’t mean they’re not a bully. I remember quite vividly from high school a kid who was a social outcast for various types of geekery and having a family with much lower income than most of the school, who was viciously cruel in teasing a heavyset kid. There’s multiple layers of bullying, it’s not so simple a kid can even be a victim of bullying in one context, and a bully in another. That doesn’t mean the behavior is not a problem. ---
**Author:** ![Great\_Antibob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47c2d/32.png) [@Great\_Antibob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Great_Antibob)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2013, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-anti-bullying-programs-are-a-bunch-of-crap/673587/35 "2013-11-11T16:17:50Z")
> [@kambuckta](#): > > To be perfectly honest, I do think the world has gone a bit mad over the whole notion of bullying. I’m 53 now, and stuff that was just regular playground shenanigans back then are now **Very Serious Issues**. I’m there with you, but it’s very much a case of “Get Off My Lawn”, and I understand how wrong that is. We see similar cases everywhere. In football, it’s not just concussions that are bad but thousands upon thousands of low level hits. It’s not outright racism or sexism but thousands upon thousands of unintentional suggestions and innuendo that add up. It’s not just outright bullying but hundreds upon hundreds of low level bits of bad behavior. We’ll never have a perfect world, but giving up and saying “no harm meant” is ultimately very destructive. ---
**Author:** ![WilyQuixote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f9ae1b/32.png) [@WilyQuixote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WilyQuixote)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2013, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-anti-bullying-programs-are-a-bunch-of-crap/673587/36 "2013-11-11T16:47:20Z")
**Kambuckta** your examples consist of at least two sets of actions, that if committed by adults, would be crimes. Charges could be laid at a police station and an appearance in a court of law would follow. Why should the same actions, if they happen between kids, simply be something they should endure? ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2013, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-anti-bullying-programs-are-a-bunch-of-crap/673587/37 "2013-11-11T17:12:21Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > And they only benefit the kids who do it, so they can learn new abuse techniques and how to hide what they do. Really? Please send me your newsletter that is just chock full of information and cites on why bullying programs are crap? I ask solely because I teach an anti-bullying program that is wildly successful. If it’s supposed to be crap, I’d like to find out what I’m doing wrong. ---
**Author:** ![Lobohan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobohan/32/79_2.png) [@Lobohan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobohan)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2013, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-anti-bullying-programs-are-a-bunch-of-crap/673587/38 "2013-11-11T17:20:05Z")
> [@Clothahump](#): > > Really? Please send me your newsletter that is just chock full of information and cites on why bullying programs are crap? > > I ask solely because I teach an anti-bullying program that is wildly successful. If it’s supposed to be crap, I’d like to find out what I’m doing wrong. Is this the first time you’ve had the impulse to check if what you believe is true? ---
**Author:** ![wevets](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e9a140/32.png) [@wevets](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wevets)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2013, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-anti-bullying-programs-are-a-bunch-of-crap/673587/39 "2013-11-11T17:58:54Z")
It seems more likely that there’s a bit of unwritten sarcasm/snark in **Clothahump** ’s question. ---
**Author:** ![BubbaDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bubbadog/32/333_2.png) [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2013, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-anti-bullying-programs-are-a-bunch-of-crap/673587/40 "2013-11-11T18:46:31Z")
And more likely that **Lobohan** was going for the burn. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-anti-bullying-programs-are-a-bunch-of-crap/673587.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-anti-bullying-programs-are-a-bunch-of-crap/673587.md?page=3)