# I think I am as close to perfect as a woman can come . . . **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 28, 2002, 6:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-am-as-close-to-perfect-as-a-woman-can-come/129998 "2002-09-28T06:16:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![AladyLikeNoOther](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@AladyLikeNoOther](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AladyLikeNoOther)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2002, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-am-as-close-to-perfect-as-a-woman-can-come/129998/61 "2002-10-01T01:12:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Scylla \* > \*\* > > …In a glaxy far, far, away. \*\* So you figured out that I am actually an alien from another galaxy. And just when I was begining to believe that no intelligent life could be found here . . . I am off to uranus now. Catch you on the flip side . . . ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2002, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-am-as-close-to-perfect-as-a-woman-can-come/129998/62 "2002-10-01T01:19:24Z")
> [@](#): > > I am off to uranus now. Last time I heard that, Gloria Steinam was holding a wine vacuum pump and a bag of Hershey’s Kisses against her naked belly. ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2002, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-am-as-close-to-perfect-as-a-woman-can-come/129998/63 "2002-10-01T03:34:25Z")
You frighten me, **lieu** , you really do. ---
**Author:** ![NurseCarmen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5daacb/32.png) [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2002, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-am-as-close-to-perfect-as-a-woman-can-come/129998/64 "2002-10-01T17:33:42Z")
I see many valid points, but no deal breakers. My question to you, Ms. AladyLikeNoOther, is twofold. Can you _sail?_ Can you keep quiet through 4 quarters (and possibly overtime) of American Football? If yes to both, then yes, you are indeed approaching perfection. unless, of course, you are a Packers fan ---
**Author:** ![Daerlyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/898d66/32.png) [@Daerlyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daerlyn)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2002, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-am-as-close-to-perfect-as-a-woman-can-come/129998/65 "2002-10-01T18:38:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by superbee \* > \*\*Does anybody else think there’s an “M” missing from the beginning of her name? \*\* MWAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAAHAHA. I like that. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2002, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-am-as-close-to-perfect-as-a-woman-can-come/129998/66 "2002-10-01T20:34:59Z")
I’d be perfect if I weren’t so damned conceited. ---
**Author:** ![seawitch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a587f6/32.png) [@seawitch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/seawitch)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2002, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-am-as-close-to-perfect-as-a-woman-can-come/129998/67 "2002-10-01T21:03:27Z")
Every time I announce my perfection, I suddenly notice that my dress is tucked into the waistband of my pantyhose. I find that humility is not only becoming, but far less embarassingly breezy. ---
**Author:** ![mouthbreather](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a698b9/32.png) [@mouthbreather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mouthbreather)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2002, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-am-as-close-to-perfect-as-a-woman-can-come/129998/68 "2002-10-01T21:13:12Z")
Where is Michael Masterson when you need him? The two of them could have created a breed of superkids. All your perfections, Lady, and your timing is off. Had you been here about two years ago you would have met your soulmate. So sad. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![AladyLikeNoOther](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@AladyLikeNoOther](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AladyLikeNoOther)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2002, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-am-as-close-to-perfect-as-a-woman-can-come/129998/69 "2002-10-02T13:27:35Z")
I have already found my soulmate, the arrogant bastard . . . ---
**Author:** ![AladyLikeNoOther](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@AladyLikeNoOther](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AladyLikeNoOther)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2002, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-am-as-close-to-perfect-as-a-woman-can-come/129998/70 "2002-10-04T02:36:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by NurseCarmen \* > \*\*I see many valid points, but no deal breakers. My question to you, Ms. AladyLikeNoOther, is twofold. > > Can you _sail?_ > > Can you keep quiet through 4 quarters (and possibly overtime) of American Football? > > If yes to both, then yes, you are indeed approaching perfection. unless, of course, you are a Packers fan \*\* I have not ever actually sailed but I believe I can if I were taught. I have sailed in my mind, and imaginary trip, inspired by the song “Sailing” by Christopher Cross. I can’t keep quiet, I got to yell at the players, moan when my team(s) screw up, and hoop and holler and dance around like a lady who has lost her mind when my teams score, sorry . . . I guess I am not approaching perfection in your eyes then. Does not change the fact that I am in mine . . . 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2002, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-am-as-close-to-perfect-as-a-woman-can-come/129998/71 "2002-10-04T18:37:42Z")
Dear Alady, How exactly do you turn into a pizza after amking love? Cheers, Keithy ---
**Author:** ![NurseCarmen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5daacb/32.png) [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2002, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-am-as-close-to-perfect-as-a-woman-can-come/129998/72 "2002-10-04T19:36:08Z")
Cheering for football teams scores a point. “Sailing” by Christopher Cross negates it. ---
**Author:** ![Scotticher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Scotticher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scotticher)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2002, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-am-as-close-to-perfect-as-a-woman-can-come/129998/73 "2002-10-04T23:14:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Iampunha, you are the sensitive type aren’t you? It’s nice that you post all those sweet things about those that you admire. I assure you, it will keep you in their favor the more you suck up. Not sure if you are a guy or not but if you are, I would not count on al that sucking up to getting you laid tho . . . \*\* Okay, I was willing to go along with your fun until this nonsense. I am happy that you feel so good about yourself. No, really I am. But dissing someone who cares about and appreciates his friends doesn’t place you in MY all time list of people who are " as close to perfect as a woman can come . . . ". In fact, it places you on my list of people who aren’t what they think they are. Just my opinon. And Patrick? You are a darling, and I love you. ---
**Author:** ![Scotticher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Scotticher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scotticher)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2002, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-am-as-close-to-perfect-as-a-woman-can-come/129998/74 "2002-10-04T23:20:25Z")
PS…if you aren’t as much of a twit as it looks like you are, welcome to the board and I hope you enjoy your stay. ---
**Author:** ![hardygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@hardygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hardygrrl)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2002, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-am-as-close-to-perfect-as-a-woman-can-come/129998/75 "2002-10-04T23:56:02Z")
Ummm, **Lady**? You realize that men tend to say a lot of odd things mid orgasm, right? The trick is remember not to take it seriously. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2002, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-am-as-close-to-perfect-as-a-woman-can-come/129998/76 "2002-10-04T23:56:43Z")
Wow. If Scotti calls you a twit, you’ve really crossed a line. I think that’s actually swearing, for her. ---
**Author:** ![Scotticher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Scotticher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scotticher)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2002, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-am-as-close-to-perfect-as-a-woman-can-come/129998/77 "2002-10-05T01:31:09Z")
Yes, dear, it is. And I apologize. I am ill with a cold/sinus thing… and I cranky…but I don’t think I was wrong. I probably wouldn’t have SAID it if I wasn’t cranky, but I would have for sure have thought it. Maybe I should be cranky more often? ---
**Author:** ![Scotticher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Scotticher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scotticher)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2002, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-am-as-close-to-perfect-as-a-woman-can-come/129998/78 "2002-10-05T01:38:23Z")
HEY! Maybe if I try REALLY hard I could become **CrankyAsAnOld Man!** I think that would be REALLy cool, because I think she ROCKS!!! ---
**Author:** ![AladyLikeNoOther](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@AladyLikeNoOther](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AladyLikeNoOther)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2002, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-am-as-close-to-perfect-as-a-woman-can-come/129998/79 "2002-10-05T18:07:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by keithmac \* > \*\*Dear Alady, > How exactly do you turn into a pizza after amking love? > Cheers, Keithy \*\* Is that after making love to myself or to someone else? Either way, we’re going to be too tired to eat . . . Scotticher wrote, "I am happy that you feel so good about yourself. No, really I am. But dissing someone who cares about and appreciates his friends doesn’t place you in MY all time list of people who are " as close to perfect as a woman can come . . . ". Oh but it is ok for that someone to undermine me? LOL! If that is the case, you are all so far from perfect yourselves that you can’t see the light of “perfection.” I did not “diss” Iampunha. But since you claim it was, why don’t you point out which part of my statement was actually disrespectable. I myself considered it to be humorous of the “messing with you” sort and can’t be blamed if people fail to see the humor in it, including you Scotticher. What I find interesting is that I start a thread, insult no one and yet people feeling insulted or offended anyway and insult me, undermine me, and make jokes about me (many of which brought tears to my eyes because I was laughing so damn hard) . . . Where is the love? ---
**Author:** ![AladyLikeNoOther](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@AladyLikeNoOther](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AladyLikeNoOther)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2002, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-am-as-close-to-perfect-as-a-woman-can-come/129998/80 "2002-10-05T18:32:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Scotticher \* > \*\*PS…if you aren’t as much of a twit as it looks like you are, welcome to the board and I hope you enjoy your stay. \*\* I think with that post Scotticher, you just revealed more about your own character than you ever could mine . . . Hardygrrl wrote, “You realize that men tend to say a lot of odd things mid orgasm, right? The trick is remember not to take it seriously.” My feelings about myself are not based on other peoples perceptions of me but of my perception of myself. My self percepetion does however, influence other peoples perception of me. If you or any person takes the time to get to know me, you or they will agree that I am as close to perfect as I say that I am. That is assuming that you or any other person has no psychological problems. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-am-as-close-to-perfect-as-a-woman-can-come/129998.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-am-as-close-to-perfect-as-a-woman-can-come/129998.md?page=5)