# I think I inadvertently met my girlfriend's physical boyfriend today **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 16, 2010, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-inadvertently-met-my-girlfriends-physical-boyfriend-today/564330 "2010-12-16T04:05:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![PSXer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/48db29/32.png) [@PSXer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PSXer)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2010, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-inadvertently-met-my-girlfriends-physical-boyfriend-today/564330/1 "2010-12-16T04:05:02Z")
Being the mental boyfriend, I am there for emotional support and having a rich relationship. The back story is this: we met two years ago and she was my first hug, hand hold, kiss, etc. I bought her tons of gifts to lead up to telling her I loved her, and then I told her I loved her after a month and wanted to try having sex. She told me she ruined too many relationships because having sex with someone takes away from the mental aspect of the relationship. She wanted me to stay a pure virgin and love her as much as I always did. Anyways, today I was walking through the hallway at school and I took out my Droid, which has a picture of me and her on the lock screen. This guy was looking down at me from above on the second floor and started laughing at me for some reason. I turned around and he winked at me, and I realized he had perfect view of my phone. So I went home and explained how he looked to my girlfriend and asked her if it was him, and she was giggling and wouldn’t tell me yes or no. She told me I shouldn’t know who it is because it will mess up the dynamics of our relationship for when we get married. What do you guys think? Do I have the right to know now that I have most likely seen who the physical boyfriend is? ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2010, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-inadvertently-met-my-girlfriends-physical-boyfriend-today/564330/2 "2010-12-16T04:14:07Z")
Why in the world would you have the “right” to know who your friend is dating? ETA, you do realize that you’re not her boyfriend, right? You are ‘the friend’ which means, in all likelihood, you will never date her. She’ll keep you thinking it might happen someday, but in actuality, you’ll always be the person she just uses to complain about her boyfriends to. > **[Friends](https://xkcd.com/513/)** > > Friends with detriments. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2010, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-inadvertently-met-my-girlfriends-physical-boyfriend-today/564330/3 "2010-12-16T04:16:16Z")
So your “mental girlfriend” doesn’t want to ruin you by having sex with you so instead she takes one for the team and fucks other guys instead? I’m convinced the OP is a joke. But in the small chance that it isn’t, I’d say you’ve got yourself a keeper! ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2010, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-inadvertently-met-my-girlfriends-physical-boyfriend-today/564330/4 "2010-12-16T04:17:09Z")
Do you have a right to know? No. Do you have a right to ask? Yes. Does she have the right to refuse to answer? Yes. Do you have the right to no longer be her boyfriend if you’re not okay with that (or anything else in your relationship)? Absolutely yes. And she has the same right. Look…just about anything is okay in a relationship as long as everyone in the relationship is okay with it. I’m sensing you’re not okay with the way she’s treating you (and I can’t say that I blame you. I’m polyamorous, but I would not tolerate a partner laughing at me when I asked for some simple information about their other lover(s).) ---
**Author:** ![Keith\_Berry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/22d042/32.png) [@Keith\_Berry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Keith_Berry)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2010, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-inadvertently-met-my-girlfriends-physical-boyfriend-today/564330/5 "2010-12-16T04:18:59Z")
Agreed, this has to be some kind of joke…cause if it isn’t, well, I don’t think any kind of comment or advice can help. ---
**Author:** ![HazelNutCoffee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ac91a4/32.png) [@HazelNutCoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HazelNutCoffee)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2010, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-inadvertently-met-my-girlfriends-physical-boyfriend-today/564330/6 "2010-12-16T04:21:04Z")
This OP is so bizarre. I’ll tell you what’s going to mess up your marriage dynamic. It’s the fact that your future wife is screwing other guys while expecting you to be “pure” and faithful towards her. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2010, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-inadvertently-met-my-girlfriends-physical-boyfriend-today/564330/7 "2010-12-16T04:27:52Z")
You are mental. You are a doormat not a boyfriend. Everytime she screws up she’ll make herself feel better by wiping her feet on you. If this is real. I doubt it, but you should seek professional help if it is. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2010, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-inadvertently-met-my-girlfriends-physical-boyfriend-today/564330/8 "2010-12-16T04:33:29Z")
My friend says I should leave this thread open. I’m going to be keeping an eye on it, though. Behave, y’all. **twickster** , MPSIMS moderator ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2010, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-inadvertently-met-my-girlfriends-physical-boyfriend-today/564330/9 "2010-12-16T04:36:06Z")
I don’t think you need to worry about the dynamics of your relationship getting screwed up. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Mondegreen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/91b2a8/32.png) [@Lord\_Mondegreen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Mondegreen)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2010, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-inadvertently-met-my-girlfriends-physical-boyfriend-today/564330/10 "2010-12-16T04:40:38Z")
> [@Keith\_Berry](#): > > Agreed, this has to be some kind of joke…cause if it isn’t, well, I don’t think any kind of comment or advice can help. I don’t know, this is the guy who claims to give a [$5 tip to the person who tears his movie ticket in half](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=588651). That’s at least two threads he’s started which have made me go :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![not\_alice](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/not_alice/32/7283_2.png) [@not\_alice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/not_alice)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2010, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-inadvertently-met-my-girlfriends-physical-boyfriend-today/564330/11 "2010-12-16T04:40:48Z")
This is a 9th grade boy and a senior girl, right? Dude, grow a pair. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2010, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-inadvertently-met-my-girlfriends-physical-boyfriend-today/564330/12 "2010-12-16T04:42:45Z")
Maybe if you cut off the other guy’s dick, you can be her physical boyfriend too. ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2010, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-inadvertently-met-my-girlfriends-physical-boyfriend-today/564330/13 "2010-12-16T04:42:47Z")
This is insane. You realize that you’re not really a boyfriend of any sort to her, right? ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2010, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-inadvertently-met-my-girlfriends-physical-boyfriend-today/564330/14 "2010-12-16T04:50:52Z")
So, you’re into the whole cuckold fantasy thing eh? If that’s what you’re into I get it, but don’t delude yourself into thinking this girl is actually going to marry you (unless you somehow get rich; then she may decide to siphon off you while continuing to bang other dudes). ---
**Author:** ![movingfinger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@movingfinger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/movingfinger)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2010, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-inadvertently-met-my-girlfriends-physical-boyfriend-today/564330/15 "2010-12-16T05:08:11Z")
Dude, you are getting screwed without even getting kissed. ---
**Author:** ![RandMcnally](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@RandMcnally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandMcnally)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2010, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-inadvertently-met-my-girlfriends-physical-boyfriend-today/564330/16 "2010-12-16T05:11:20Z")
Unasked for advice time: Dude, you’re making things harder on yourself with this girl. I mean, not only is it nearly impossible to get past the “friend” stage, you’re also giving her a reason never to want to. You’re probably thinking, “if I’m there for her through anything she’ll see how much she needs me and leave her uncaring boyfriend.” No. Why would she do that? She’s getting her physical needs met by not-you while you’re meeting her emotional needs. You are her friend whore. Her emotional booty call. The status quo is working perfectly for her. ETA: [Something Positive Comic](http://www.somethingpositive.net/sp02142004.shtml)! ETA Again: [Ladder Theory](http://www.laddertheory.com/). Read it. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2010, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-inadvertently-met-my-girlfriends-physical-boyfriend-today/564330/17 "2010-12-16T05:14:37Z")
I’m a little bit in awe of the “girlfriend” - she’s taken a very innovative route with a guy she’s not interested in. ---
**Author:** ![Euphonious\_Polemic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/euphonious_polemic/32/3002_2.png) [@Euphonious\_Polemic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Euphonious_Polemic)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2010, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-inadvertently-met-my-girlfriends-physical-boyfriend-today/564330/18 "2010-12-16T05:14:52Z")
By looking at her real physical boyfriend, you were actually being unfaithful to her. You should punish yourself . You are not worthy of this fine girl’s attention. No wonder she boinks other guys. ---
**Author:** ![Ostrya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/35a633/32.png) [@Ostrya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ostrya)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2010, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-inadvertently-met-my-girlfriends-physical-boyfriend-today/564330/19 "2010-12-16T05:20:32Z")
PSXer, you keep asking advice but never take it. Now go out there and get that Jeep. ---
**Author:** ![PSXer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/48db29/32.png) [@PSXer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PSXer)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2010, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-inadvertently-met-my-girlfriends-physical-boyfriend-today/564330/20 "2010-12-16T05:26:01Z")
but I am taking the advice of most of the board by NOT buying the Jeep. everyone said my idea was dumb [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-inadvertently-met-my-girlfriends-physical-boyfriend-today/564330.md?page=2)