there?
Me: They’re busy right now.
TM: Well, I need to speak to one of them right now.
Me: (In a sultry, seductive voice) I said they’re busy. But, I’m not and you can talk to me…you sound like a nice man…
TM: Ma’am, I really need to speak to one of them.
Me: (Sexy voice) It’s “Miss” to you and what’s wrong with talking with me? You don’t have to be afraid of me.
::Click::
That was the first time I ever acted suggestively towards anyone in my life. It was funny, though.
---
### Author:  [@Miss\_Violaceous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Violaceous)
#### Post date: [March 9, 2005, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-may-have-just-accidentally-ticked-off-a-telemarketer/293597/9 "2005-03-09T04:08:56Z")
Wow. I used to get telemarketers who would call, and straight off the bat ask “may I speak to your mommy or daddy?” because, I suppose, I must sound young. This thread made me realize that I haven’t received a call like that in quite a while. Made my day! 😃 It almost makes up for being mistaken for 12 on occasion. _mumbles something about how not many 12-year-olds have a figure like mine_
Anyway, telemarketer story: I just have fun fending off the Bally’s people. My dad has this quirk where he’ll cancel a credit card or otherwise muck around with a company he feels is billing him unfairly. True, it isn’t the best for his credit rating, but he seems to get more of a kick out of messing with people trying to rip him off (in his estimation) than preserving his credit. So, after getting 3 calls a day from the Bally’s people every time I visit home, I asked him recently “uhhhh, did you perchance sign up with Bally’s?” He’s pretty business-savy, and I couldn’t contemplate him signing up for one of those three-years-and-your-soul deals they have going. Turns out he enrolled a few years ago, and payed monthly and in CASH. Now it sounds like my dad. But somehow he cancelled and they didn’t, and now they are calling.
I had to get pretty creative about all the calls. He literally never answers his home phone, just his cell. He uses the landline like a spam-magnet e-mail address. I answer it because you never know what zany thing you’re going to hear if you pick it up. But now it’s always Bally’s. It would be the same two or three sales people, chick in the morning, guy in the evening, I forget who in the middle of the day. I knew it was them, they knew it was me, and we’d say the same things to each other. In the past I’ve tried explaining to people on that line, “no, my dad is not available, and he’ll never be available. An act of Og could not get him to pick up this phone, and I’m sure as hell not even going to try.” That never worked. So with Bally’s, we all just humor each other.
_ring_
Me: Hello?
MorningChick or EveningGuy: Hello, is mister (at first butchered, but improved with practice, dad’s name) available?
Me: No he isn’t, may I take a message?
MCoEG: Certainly, please tell him that MCoEG called from Bally’s, and we need to talk to him as soon as possible regarding his membership. We can be reached at (phone number) from (hours) to (hours).
Me: Uh huh… uh huh… uh huh… (appropriate pauses to imitate someone who is writing something down)
MCoEG: (skeptical and disillusioned) Did you get all that?
Me: Yup!
MCoEG: Thank you, goodbye.
Lather, rinse, repeat.
---
### Author:  [@Gorsnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorsnak)
#### Post date: [March 9, 2005, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-may-have-just-accidentally-ticked-off-a-telemarketer/293597/10 "2005-03-09T04:39:14Z")
You _may_ have _accidentally_ ticked off a telemarketer?? Be ashamed. Be very ashamed. Next time be sure.
---
### Author:  [@Keapon\_Laffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Keapon_Laffin)
#### Post date: [March 9, 2005, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-may-have-just-accidentally-ticked-off-a-telemarketer/293597/11 "2005-03-09T04:50:30Z")
> [@danceswithcats](#):
>
> There’s always, “Sure, hold on” followed by laying phone on desk, causing TM to twiddle their privates, drum fingers on desktop, and wait while you go about your business. It’s on their dime, so too bad. You could also pretend to have sex, or make other interesting sounds, causing them to listen longer. 😃
Oooh, I like that. Make them listen to \*badgerbadger \* or _Barney learns the ABCs_?
😃
---
### Author:  [@Starving\_Artist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Starving_Artist)
#### Post date: [March 9, 2005, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-may-have-just-accidentally-ticked-off-a-telemarketer/293597/12 "2005-03-09T05:00:28Z")
I had a friend once who was an Encyclopedia Brittanica sales manager. He had previous experience running a magazine sales boiler room (what can I say, I like colorful people) so he thought he’d try telemarketing to boost sales. I was at his house when he decided to try this. The best response:
Jack (my friend): “Mr. Johnson?”
Johnson: “Yes.”
Jack (in loud, friendly voice): “Hi, Mr. Johnson. This is Jack Thompson with Encyclopedia Brittanica.”
Johnson: "Yeah, Jack. Thanks for calling.
::click::
---
### Author:  [@Phnord\_Prephect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phnord_Prephect)
#### Post date: [March 9, 2005, 10:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-may-have-just-accidentally-ticked-off-a-telemarketer/293597/13 "2005-03-09T10:34:41Z")
I love this sport.
My newest tactic, and by far the most effective, is the polite request for a repeat of the information you have just been given. It goes something like this:
Me: Hello?
Them: Good day Mr. or Ms. Wallet. Blah blah blah, blah blah, blah blah blah blah. Blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah. Blah blah. Blah, blah blah blah blah. Blah?
Me: I’m sorry, could you repeat that?
Them: Certainly! Good day Mr. or Ms. Wallet, Blah blah blah blah… …blah blah. Blah?
Me: I’m sorry, could you repeat that?
Them: Uh… ok. Good day Mr. or Ms. Wallet, blah blah blah blah. blah. Blah?
Me: Hmm… Could you repeat that one more time please?
Them: Blah blah blah. Blah?
Me: Nope, didn’t get it. Could you start over from the beginning again?
Them: Click.
It’s SO satisfying to make a telemarketer hang up on you. 😃
---
### Author:  [@slortar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slortar)
#### Post date: [March 9, 2005, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-may-have-just-accidentally-ticked-off-a-telemarketer/293597/14 "2005-03-09T13:52:48Z")
> [@racinchikki](#):
>
> I recently got a call from a guy saying he was with something (the Dove foundation, maybe?) that was helping “parents and grandparents who want to clean up the language and sexual content in today’s media.” I started giggling and said “Dude, I fuckin’ _love_ sexual content. I am totally hanging up on you now.”
God, I love those guys. I keep getting calls from them for “the lady of the house”. The guy who calls always sounds so straightlaced I can’t help fucking with him. “But…I **like** obscenity. I’m not even wearing pants right now.”
---
### Author:  [@Sgt.Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sgt.Pepper)
#### Post date: [March 9, 2005, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-may-have-just-accidentally-ticked-off-a-telemarketer/293597/15 "2005-03-09T14:12:03Z")
> [@danceswithcats](#):
>
> There’s always, “Sure, hold on” followed by laying phone on desk, causing TM to twiddle their privates, drum fingers on desktop, and wait while you go about your business. It’s on their dime, so too bad. You could also pretend to have sex, or make other interesting sounds, causing them to listen longer. 😃
I did that once, although I didn’t twiddle with my privates or make sex sounds, but I did put the phone down and continued what I was doing. I was playing a game online with a few friends. We use software that allows us to talk online with each other while we play. So, I got the call, told the lady to hold on a minute and put the phone down. Then I told the guys online what was happening, and what I was doing to this person. I’m sure the lady on the phone heard. Then I went back to playing my game. After a bit I hung up on her, figurering she would have given up long ago. Then she called back, and for some reason I felt so bad. Maybe because it was a motherly voice. I’m not above doing it again, and have done it after that time.
The one that really bother’s me is when you pick up the phone and say hello, then there’s that pause before the other person will speak. That pisses me off to no end. So now if I say hello and there’s a pause, then I hang up. Lately, I’ve been just picking up the phone and putting it back down when it rings. Especially the “Private Name/Number” ones. I figure if they want their privacy that bad, then I’ll take it a step further and not even allow the person to reveal who they are to me. They can remain a mystery.
---
### Author:  [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)
#### Post date: [March 9, 2005, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-may-have-just-accidentally-ticked-off-a-telemarketer/293597/16 "2005-03-09T14:34:06Z")
I have sort of have an excuse to hang up on them. A lot of folks think I’m a woman on the phone and when they call me “Maam” I fake getting angry and tell them if they can’t even call me sir then don’t bother calling! Click.
---
### Author:  [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)
#### Post date: [March 9, 2005, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-may-have-just-accidentally-ticked-off-a-telemarketer/293597/17 "2005-03-09T15:01:30Z")
Oh, HORRORS!!!
---
### Author:  [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)
#### Post date: [March 9, 2005, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-may-have-just-accidentally-ticked-off-a-telemarketer/293597/18 "2005-03-09T15:08:08Z")
Next we’ll be seeing a thread called “I might have accidentally sent a murder to jail”
---
### Author:  [@Gorsnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorsnak)
#### Post date: [March 9, 2005, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-may-have-just-accidentally-ticked-off-a-telemarketer/293597/19 "2005-03-09T15:16:53Z")
> [@Sgt.Pepper](#):
>
> The one that really bother’s me is when you pick up the phone and say hello, then there’s that pause before the other person will speak. That pisses me off to no end.
They use autodialer thingies that wait until you say hello before they connect a telemarketer to the line. Makes it real easy to hang up on them before they have a chance to say anything.
---
### Author:  [@PinkMarabou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PinkMarabou)
#### Post date: [March 9, 2005, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-may-have-just-accidentally-ticked-off-a-telemarketer/293597/20 "2005-03-09T15:43:05Z")
> [@Phnord Prephect](#):
>
> I love this sport.
>
> My newest tactic, and by far the most effective, is the polite request for a repeat of the information you have just been given. It goes something like this:
>
> Me: Hello?
>
> Them: Good day Mr. or Ms. Wallet. Blah blah blah, blah blah, blah blah blah blah. Blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah. Blah blah. Blah, blah blah blah blah. Blah?
>
> Me: I’m sorry, could you repeat that?
>
> Them: Certainly! Good day Mr. or Ms. Wallet, Blah blah blah blah… …blah blah. Blah?
>
> Me: I’m sorry, could you repeat that?
>
> Them: Uh… ok. Good day Mr. or Ms. Wallet, blah blah blah blah. blah. Blah?
>
> Me: Hmm… Could you repeat that one more time please?
>
> Them: Blah blah blah. Blah?
>
> Me: Nope, didn’t get it. Could you start over from the beginning again?
>
> Them: Click.
> It’s SO satisfying to make a telemarketer hang up on you. 😃
I’m totally doing that next time!!
I get calls from the Dove Foundation all the time, I just never pick up the phone. Now that I know what they want, I will make sure I have some “questionable” recordings ready and waiting for them. [Like from this site.](http://www.jokes.thefunnybone.com/waves/) This one seems perfect: George Carlin -“Hey, which one of you cute little cupcakes wants to come home with me, cook me a nice meal, and give me a blowjob?”. 🆒
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