# I think I may have lost my only guy friend **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 8, 2015, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-may-have-lost-my-only-guy-friend/727288 "2015-08-08T01:49:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 15
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2015, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-may-have-lost-my-only-guy-friend/727288/281 "2015-08-13T23:08:39Z")
> [@SmartAleq](#): > > Well, if you can be forgiven for whatever you do, why not just go get fucking laid and stop whining about it? _You_ decided to be part of a repressive sex negative religion,\* you\* decided to get married, _you_ vowed it was forever and one person only,\* you\* decided to have kids and now _you_ want to bitch and moan because (as is completely and mundanely and tediously usual for people who got married too young because their religion says that’s the only way they get to have sex) you’re wanting some strange but your own decisions are standing in your way. So of course it’s “society’s fault” you can’t get your itch scratched. Uh huh. Either shit or get off the pot, really, every single person in the world has gone through some version of this jejune plot twist at some time in their lives. You aren’t speshul or magical or in wuv or whatever it is you’re dressing it up with–you’re bored, you want strange dick but you’re too chicken to go for it so you play brinksmanship riiiiight up to the edge of what’s “forgivable” to your religion and whine about it all online. FFS, grow up. Or, y’know, get a journal. ![](https://i.giphy.com/q0N87UcxJV34k.gif) ---
**Author:** ![SmartAleq](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smartaleq/32/163_2.png) [@SmartAleq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmartAleq)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2015, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-may-have-lost-my-only-guy-friend/727288/282 "2015-08-13T23:23:23Z")
> [@April\_R](#): > > And done. > > You are absolutely right…but what am I supposed to do? Just throw my hands up and say, fuck it!? Do whatever the fuck you want, just do it quietly and try to have some dignity if it all goes pear shaped. Own whatever it is you do–either stay in your marriage and your religion and make that work or blow it all to hell and gone being a total slut bucket or sneak off and figure out how to get some of what you want without getting caught. Just pull up your big girl panties and accept whatever fallout there is with some grace. That’s what grown ups do. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2015, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-may-have-lost-my-only-guy-friend/727288/283 "2015-08-14T00:25:14Z")
> [@Omar\_Little](#): > > Hey now, I personally think that in order to keep it in the family, **dropzone** should just fly to Memphis. Fly? I have spent most of my life near airports. One of my earliest memories is being taken to see what happens when a jet fighter undershoots the runway, through a bunch of back yards. A private plane crashed in our corporate front yard, killing a father and son; the wreckage stayed in the junkyard up the block looking the same as it did when it went in. I saw the smoke from two miles away when Flight 191 went in. “Went in” is a part of my vocabulary. _ **Fly** _ to rip off a piece of Mormon ass? Thank you, no. Um, no offense intended toward you, April. I’m sure you are a fine piece of Mormon ass that any man would be honored to violate in several ways, all night long. Just not me in this lifetime. 😛 Oops! An old girlfriend used to say, “Don’t stick it out unless you intend to use it,” so I’ll change that to ;). > [@April\_R](#): > > It’ll get better Sure will! Start by ignoring the hurt. It will get duller as time goes on. > [@April\_R](#): > > Only if it’s at the Peabody, no way am I hitting one of those seedy motels on Elvis Presley Blvd Sheee-it, we should do it on Elvis’ grave! I mean, um, whatever. :o ---
**Author:** ![leftfield6](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leftfield6/32/18780_2.png) [@leftfield6](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leftfield6)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2015, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-may-have-lost-my-only-guy-friend/727288/284 "2015-08-14T02:10:44Z")
Why does the phrase " don’t stick your dick in the crazy" pop into my mind when I read this thread? ---
**Author:** ![Missy2U](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3bc359/32.png) [@Missy2U](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Missy2U)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2015, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-may-have-lost-my-only-guy-friend/727288/285 "2015-08-14T02:32:39Z")
I’ve seen more subtle attention whoring on Rush Street after the bars close. April, do yourself and us a favor and knock this shit the hell off. You aren’t unique, you aren’t special, and this soap opera you can’t seem to stop ressurecting has become pointless. Quit texting Super Dude Garage Band I Wanna Do Him But I’m So Confused Tee Hee and GROW UP! If you have any sense at all, quit posting and let this trainwreck of a thread die! ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2015, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-may-have-lost-my-only-guy-friend/727288/286 "2015-08-14T02:42:41Z")
> [@Missy2U](#): > > Super Dude Garage Band I Wanna Do Him But I’m So Confused Tee Hee Whadya wanna bet he’s a drummer? Or, at best, a bass player? :rolleyes: > [@](#): > > If you have any sense at all, quit posting and let this trainwreck of a thread die! **Missy** , in the minds of some readers this is the most action this fat, old man has gotten in years! It can’t die. People think I still have game. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Missy2U](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3bc359/32.png) [@Missy2U](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Missy2U)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2015, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-may-have-lost-my-only-guy-friend/727288/287 "2015-08-14T03:01:46Z")
I **know** you got game hon - and if anyone doubts it, tell 'em to talk to me! I’LL set 'em straight! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Missy2U](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3bc359/32.png) [@Missy2U](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Missy2U)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2015, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-may-have-lost-my-only-guy-friend/727288/288 "2015-08-14T03:16:01Z")
Oh and no - he ain’t a drummer OR a bass player. Hell - I was married to a drummer! And am related to 2 bass players. They can be egomaniacal shitheads, sure - but they will never ever be the angst-ridden artiste type she’s trying to portray him as - they have THAT much self respect at least! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2015, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-may-have-lost-my-only-guy-friend/727288/289 "2015-08-14T03:23:41Z")
Darlin’, I’m a creation of the internet. I have no reality when my computer shuts down. But even at my worst, though I was an “angst-ridden artiste type”/drama queen, I knew when it was time to stop. ---
**Author:** ![Missy2U](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3bc359/32.png) [@Missy2U](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Missy2U)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2015, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-may-have-lost-my-only-guy-friend/727288/290 "2015-08-14T03:35:37Z")
> [@dropzone](#): > > Darlin’, I’m a creation of the internet. I have no reality when my computer shuts down. But even at my worst, though I was an “angst-ridden artiste type”/drama queen, I knew when it was time to stop. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2015, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-may-have-lost-my-only-guy-friend/727288/291 "2015-08-14T14:09:39Z")
> [@April\_R](#): > > That is not how life works apparently. Morals and ethics and relationship guidelines dictate you tough it out and put aside everything for the sake of piety and expectation. > > I know I don’t have to like it…it’s what we are supposed to do right? For the kids, marriage, and the American way So it seems to me you have abandoned the pose that you wanted a platonic friend, and are now tacitly admitting that you have romantic and erotic hopes for your relationship with your friend. ---
**Author:** ![Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Living_Well_Is_Best_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2015, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-may-have-lost-my-only-guy-friend/727288/292 "2015-08-14T14:42:17Z")
> [@SmartAleq](#): > > Well, if you can be forgiven for whatever you do, why not just go get fucking laid and stop whining about it? _You_ decided to be part of a repressive sex negative religion,\* you\* decided to get married, _you_ vowed it was forever and one person only,\* you\* decided to have kids and now _you_ want to bitch and moan because (as is completely and mundanely and tediously usual for people who got married too young because their religion says that’s the only way they get to have sex) you’re wanting some strange but your own decisions are standing in your way. So of course it’s “society’s fault” you can’t get your itch scratched. Uh huh. Either shit or get off the pot, really, every single person in the world has gone through some version of this jejune plot twist at some time in their lives. You aren’t speshul or magical or in wuv or whatever it is you’re dressing it up with–you’re bored, you want strange dick but you’re too chicken to go for it so you play brinksmanship riiiiight up to the edge of what’s “forgivable” to your religion and whine about it all online. FFS, grow up. Or, y’know, get a journal. This was pretty damn awesome. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2015, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-may-have-lost-my-only-guy-friend/727288/293 "2015-08-14T14:57:08Z")
Face your issues and own your shit. You’re 32 for Christ’s sake. Stop dragging other people into your vortex of need and drama just to feed your freaking ego. There are other ways to seek counselling, than paying a therapist. See a minister, see a social worker, see someone who’s wisdom you admire, who’s advice you’d respect. Join a support group, talk with your Gran/Auntie, crack a damn book. They’re your issues, find a way to deal with them, like a grown ass adult. You ARE going to hurt people. And I think you know it. Brilliant rationalizations notwithstanding. Wishing you boatloads of Good Luck. (You’re gonna need it!) ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2015, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-may-have-lost-my-only-guy-friend/727288/294 "2015-08-14T15:12:51Z")
> [@April\_R](#): > > So he texts me today and says he’d still like to text me because he feels like he can tell me just about anything and that I’m pretty awesome. Yeah, you never had a platonic friend. ---
**Author:** ![The\_wind\_of\_my\_soul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecc23a/32.png) [@The\_wind\_of\_my\_soul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_wind_of_my_soul)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2015, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-may-have-lost-my-only-guy-friend/727288/295 "2015-08-14T15:15:00Z")
> [@dropzone](#): > > \*\*I think the board skews heavily male. I read through this thread and don’t really have any advice that hasn’t already been stated several times. But I feel compelled to ask: does the board really skew male? ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2015, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-may-have-lost-my-only-guy-friend/727288/296 "2015-08-14T18:17:15Z")
> [@April\_R](#): > > I am a very much devote and practicing LDS. > My actions so far have been selfish and shortsighted, but nothing I can’t come back from or be forgiven for. I do believe in a forgiving Heavenly Father, take that as you will Wow, you’re really not very good at being a Mormon, are you? Here are some suggestions for you: 1. Read your bible. There’s lots of good advice in there. I’d advise you to pay particular attention to Galatians 6:7 - “for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap.” 2. Your husband is failing badly in his role as a Mormon husband. From the LDS women’s manual "[It is the husband’s responsibility to preside and provide leadership in the home."](https://www.lds.org/manual/the-latter-day-saint-woman-basic-manual-for-women-part-a/women-in-the-church/lesson-13-women-and-the-priesthood?lang=eng)Regardless of what any non-Mormon might think of this practice, it is the one that you claim to live by. A good leader (and loving husband) would have seen that his decision to approve your keeping in contact with this guy was causing you pain and suffering and helped you to end it. Perhaps you and/or your husband should speak to your bishop about resolving this. If you are as emotionally unstable as you claim, your husband’s failures do not bode well for the future. 3. Perhaps a more religious Doper could address this more thoroughly, but I’m pretty sure that forgiveness practices in the Judeo-Christian religions are not supposed to be a license to do whatever the fuck you want because you will be “forgiven.” We are supposed to do the best we can to avoid transgressions and seek forgiveness for our mistakes. This wasn’t just a mistake. This wasn’t just a matter of you finding yourself having a little bit of a flirt and then backing off when you realized what you were doing. This was you knowingly and deliberately continuing and escalating a pattern of behaviors that you knew were morally and ethically wrong. You took it to a point where you were sexting with him and planned an easy opportunity to have sex with him. To blow that off with an “oh, it’s okay 'cause I’ll be forgiven lah dee dah” is shockingly disrespectful of the faith and the god that you claim to believe in. Your bishop should be able to provide the additional religious education that you sorely need. ---
**Author:** ![bucketybuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/898d66/32.png) [@bucketybuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bucketybuck)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2015, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-may-have-lost-my-only-guy-friend/727288/297 "2015-08-14T18:28:14Z")
> [@April\_R](#): > > And done. > > You are absolutely right…but what am I supposed to do? Just throw my hands up and say, fuck it!? Yep, go and fuck it. We have already given you your ready made excuse, we told you to do it didn’t we! Thats what you really want, isn’t it? As Bricker said, at least you have finally stopped pretending this was about a platonic friendship (which was hilarious btw, as if you would have written that cringy poem about a female friend you were in contact with :p), now you should really get the train moving on this drama llama joyride. ---
**Author:** ![Helena330](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/helena330/32/531_2.png) [@Helena330](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helena330)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2015, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-may-have-lost-my-only-guy-friend/727288/298 "2015-08-14T19:20:21Z")
I try to give people the benefit of the doubt here on the Dope and it’s usually proven to be misplaced. This was no exception. April, grow the fuck up. This is how teenagers act. ---
**Author:** ![Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Living_Well_Is_Best_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2015, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-may-have-lost-my-only-guy-friend/727288/299 "2015-08-14T19:25:55Z")
> [@bucketybuck](#): > > Yep, go and fuck it. We have already given you your ready made excuse, we told you to do it didn’t we! Thats what you really want, isn’t it? > > As Bricker said, at least you have finally stopped pretending this was about a platonic friendship (which was hilarious btw, as if you would have written that cringy poem about a female friend you were in contact with :p), now you should really get the train moving on this drama llama joyride. Wait, there’s a poem?? I need to read this… can someone point me to the post number? I can’t bear to scroll through this hot mess again. ---
**Author:** ![bucketybuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/898d66/32.png) [@bucketybuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bucketybuck)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2015, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-may-have-lost-my-only-guy-friend/727288/300 "2015-08-14T19:44:34Z")
> [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](#): > > Wait, there’s a poem?? I need to read this… can someone point me to the post number? I can’t bear to scroll through this hot mess again. Go to post 220 for April’s “Ode to a platonic friend”. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-may-have-lost-my-only-guy-friend/727288.md?page=14) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-may-have-lost-my-only-guy-friend/727288.md?page=16)