# I think I may have lost my only guy friend **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 8, 2015, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-may-have-lost-my-only-guy-friend/727288 "2015-08-08T01:49:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 17
**Author:** ![April\_R](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@April\_R](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/April_R)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2015, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-may-have-lost-my-only-guy-friend/727288/321 "2015-08-15T19:58:55Z")
> [@CarnalK](#): > > That’s awesome! I mean you tried so hard to break it off but he just won’t take the hint so now you just have to keep chatting with him! So sad yet so awesome. Right? No. It means we can just be cool and I didn’t ruin everything. I’m not saying it’s typical, but I am saying I’m happy this turned out this way. I am pretty adept at detecting sarcasm in the written word. ---
**Author:** ![Napier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ce73a5/32.png) [@Napier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Napier)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2015, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-may-have-lost-my-only-guy-friend/727288/322 "2015-08-15T21:14:28Z")
> [@April\_R](#): > > […] Going by what this board has said, I should have been cast to the wolves and stoned. […] Well, it isn’t that simple, there’s quite a range of what people have said. I think you were taking some chances, were conflicted, were a bit deceitful if I remember right, and clearly needed to work on some things. And your margin for error got unacceptably thin, and for all I know if external events had worked a bit differently you would have really screwed up. However, I don’t see that you actually did anything all that wrong – I don’t think you cheated, or hurt anybody very badly. It sounds like everything can turn out just fine, and this is more because you were questioning your actions than any other single reason. I would have said no stoning, but maybe we would have stood you in front of a wolf and let him growl at you (which should be pretty damn scary). ---
**Author:** ![Penfeather](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/penfeather/32/384_2.png) [@Penfeather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Penfeather)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2015, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-may-have-lost-my-only-guy-friend/727288/323 "2015-08-15T21:39:40Z")
> [@April\_R](#): > > I was enjoying the attention. Guy Friend said me visiting was not a good idea, I got mad at him. I was hoping he’d go away if I was mean enough. He hasn’t either. Is there any way of letting \*\*April \*\*know that her account here has been hijacked by a couple of 15 year old girls? ---
**Author:** ![Emiliana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@Emiliana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emiliana)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2015, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-may-have-lost-my-only-guy-friend/727288/324 "2015-08-15T21:59:14Z")
> [@Grotonian](#): > > It was presumptuous and uninformed of me to declare repentance for adultery a universal nightmare. Some denominations are more lenient than others. And perhaps some don’t require informing the spouse. As far as I know, though, vows are always made to God, and transgressions against God are a far more serious offense than those against man. Again, if your denomination is cool with breaking vows, YMMV. > > All Jews are Christians; some of you just don’t know it yet. Yeah, that’s exactly what I said. Actually, we all get up on the altar just before the Eucharist, fling our Sunday best into the sacristy, and engage in extraordinarily lewd sex with each other’s spouses. You are incapable of not being an asshole, aren’t you? ---
**Author:** ![April\_R](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@April\_R](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/April_R)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2015, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-may-have-lost-my-only-guy-friend/727288/325 "2015-08-15T22:48:50Z")
> [@Penfeather](#): > > Is there any way of letting \*\*April \*\*know that her account here has been hijacked by a couple of 15 year old girls? Like tots funnay :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2015, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-may-have-lost-my-only-guy-friend/727288/326 "2015-08-15T22:50:26Z")
“Adept”, how apt! ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2015, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-may-have-lost-my-only-guy-friend/727288/327 "2015-08-15T23:23:01Z")
> [@April\_R](#): > > I told him everything. I mean EVERYTHING. I stopped responding to this thread because I needed time to get my thoughts together and pray how to tell him. > > He is really the most incredible person ever. He said he wasn’t angry, just disappointed that I thought he’d hate me and want to divorce me. > > I was enjoying the attention. Guy Friend said me visiting was not a good idea, I got mad at him. I was hoping he’d go away if I was mean enough. He hasn’t either. > > I really am struggling to accept that neither of them hate me. Going by what this board has said, I should have been cast to the wolves and stoned. But I wasn’t. I’m really truly shocked and grateful. > > Husband showed me last night how attractive he still finds me. So basically you’re still letting other people’s reactions dictate what’s right and wrong for you. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2015, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-may-have-lost-my-only-guy-friend/727288/328 "2015-08-16T02:51:35Z")
> [@April\_R](#): > > It means we can just be cool and I didn’t ruin everything. Maybe my advice was too friendly and understanding to be clear. I’ll fix it: _ **Ruin everything** _ between you and him. No good can come of this relationship. End _ **everything NOW** _–no texts, no emails, no nothing. Do not keep him around as your Plan B for when your marriage falls apart because that will make it easier for you to not make the effort to keep your marriage together. End it cold, now. Delete his number and block his texts, with no explanation. He should be dead to you. It will hurt both of you a little. If it hurts a lot, it’s because you were in deeper than you thought, though probably not as deep as a lot of us think. As I said before, do not tell your husband all the details; it will needlessly hurt his feelings and he might add details of his own that may not be true. If you need a shoulder to cry on that knows what’s going on but is separated from the situation, maybe PM one of us in this thread. But assume that Jerry and Ed read all the PMs and save the juicy ones. I’d volunteer my shoulder because I’ve been through a lot of this, but I’ve been through a lot of this and I know it would be a very bad idea. Plus I’d only pretend to listen. ---
**Author:** ![April\_R](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@April\_R](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/April_R)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2015, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-may-have-lost-my-only-guy-friend/727288/329 "2015-08-16T02:53:55Z")
> [@IvoryTowerDenizen](#): > > So basically you’re still letting other people’s reactions dictate what’s right and wrong for you. No ---
**Author:** ![April\_R](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@April\_R](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/April_R)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2015, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-may-have-lost-my-only-guy-friend/727288/330 "2015-08-16T02:56:14Z")
> [@dropzone](#): > > Maybe my advice was too friendly and understanding to be clear. I’ll fix it: _ **Ruin everything** _ between you and him. No good can come of this relationship. End _ **everything NOW** _–no texts, no emails, no nothing. Do not keep him around as your Plan B for when your marriage falls apart because that will make it easier for you to not make the effort to keep your marriage together. End it cold, now. y bad idea… He isn’t my plan B, I don’t have a plan B. I don’t need one ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2015, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-may-have-lost-my-only-guy-friend/727288/331 "2015-08-16T03:10:25Z")
> [@April\_R](#): > > No Well, up thread you said texting him went against your moral code and you were vomitting over how bad you feel, so you were going to stop texting for a whole week. But when hubby and buddy said ‘all is well’, everything became great now? ---
**Author:** ![raventhief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/raventhief/32/4_2.png) [@raventhief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raventhief)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2015, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-may-have-lost-my-only-guy-friend/727288/332 "2015-08-16T03:52:33Z")
> [@April\_R](#): > > I told him everything. I mean EVERYTHING. I stopped responding to this thread because I needed time to get my thoughts together and pray how to tell him. > > He is really the most incredible person ever. He said he wasn’t angry, just disappointed that I thought he’d hate me and want to divorce me. > > I was enjoying the attention. Guy Friend said me visiting was not a good idea, I got mad at him. I was hoping he’d go away if I was mean enough. He hasn’t either. > > I really am struggling to accept that neither of them hate me. Going by what this board has said, I should have been cast to the wolves and stoned. But I wasn’t. I’m really truly shocked and grateful. > > Husband showed me last night how attractive he still finds me. So, are you planning to keep in contact with Guy Friend? ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2015, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-may-have-lost-my-only-guy-friend/727288/333 "2015-08-16T04:44:02Z")
> [@April\_R](#): > > He isn’t my plan B, I don’t have a plan B. I don’t need one You didn’t address what I said. You seem to have stopped at that point and stuck your fingers in your ears. This is why so many of us say you sound like a teenager. ---
**Author:** ![April\_R](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@April\_R](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/April_R)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2015, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-may-have-lost-my-only-guy-friend/727288/334 "2015-08-16T05:46:17Z")
Yes, I am still going to treat Guy Friend like a friend and not ignore him. Sorry you feel I’m ignoring you DZ, I’m not. I just don’t agree severing contact is necessary. Sorry ---
**Author:** ![Grotonian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c2a13f/32.png) [@Grotonian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grotonian)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2015, 6:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-may-have-lost-my-only-guy-friend/727288/335 "2015-08-16T06:07:42Z")
> [@Emiliana](#): > > Yeah, that’s exactly what I said. Actually, we all get up on the altar just before the Eucharist, fling our Sunday best into the sacristy, and engage in extraordinarily lewd sex with each other’s spouses. That new Pope is just letting you liberals run wild, isn’t he? > [@](#): > > You are incapable of not being an asshole, aren’t you? The tree is known by it’s fruit. Your tree, clearly, gives bitter, bitter fruit. ---
**Author:** ![Emiliana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@Emiliana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emiliana)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2015, 12:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-may-have-lost-my-only-guy-friend/727288/336 "2015-08-16T12:18:38Z")
> [@Grotonian](#): > > That new Pope is just letting you liberals run wild, isn’t he? > > The tree is known by it’s fruit. Your tree, clearly, gives bitter, bitter fruit. You’re quite the evangelizer. Carry on. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2015, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-may-have-lost-my-only-guy-friend/727288/337 "2015-08-16T13:17:13Z")
> [@Emiliana](#): > > You’re quite the evangelizer. Carry on. _shrug_ Preachers gonna preach. I’ve been doing my own sort of preaching in this thread. ---
**Author:** ![desertmonk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/898d66/32.png) [@desertmonk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/desertmonk)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2015, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-may-have-lost-my-only-guy-friend/727288/338 "2015-08-16T16:08:37Z")
April, what do you consider cheating? What’s does your husband consider cheating? ---
**Author:** ![leftfield6](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leftfield6/32/18780_2.png) [@leftfield6](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leftfield6)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2015, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-may-have-lost-my-only-guy-friend/727288/339 "2015-08-16T18:38:14Z")
> [@April\_R](#): > > Yes, I am still going to treat Guy Friend like a friend and not ignore him. > Sorry you feel I’m ignoring you DZ, I’m not. I just don’t agree severing contact is necessary. Sorry Really stupid decision. It just is. But I’m sure that YOU can succeed in what almost everyone here has said is asking for trouble. ---
**Author:** ![CarnalK](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnalk/32/486_2.png) [@CarnalK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CarnalK)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2015, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-may-have-lost-my-only-guy-friend/727288/340 "2015-08-16T19:42:49Z")
> [@April\_R](#): > > No. > It means we can just be cool and I didn’t ruin everything. I’m not saying it’s typical, but I am saying I’m happy this turned out this way. But you aren’t going to just be cool. The next time you aren’t feeling enough attention from adoring welcome mat hubby you are going to start flirting again. I am sure you’ll deny it but there’s no doubt in my mind. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-may-have-lost-my-only-guy-friend/727288.md?page=16) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-may-have-lost-my-only-guy-friend/727288.md?page=18)