# I think I may have lost my only guy friend **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 8, 2015, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-may-have-lost-my-only-guy-friend/727288 "2015-08-08T01:49:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 21
**Author:** ![April\_R](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@April\_R](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/April_R)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2015, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-may-have-lost-my-only-guy-friend/727288/401 "2015-08-26T02:38:42Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > Not cut ties for the sake of your marriage and kids. I disagree. Neither my kids nor my marriage have been negatively affected. ---
**Author:** ![raventhief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/raventhief/32/4_2.png) [@raventhief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raventhief)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2015, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-may-have-lost-my-only-guy-friend/727288/402 "2015-08-26T02:41:43Z")
> [@April\_R](#): > > If my husband asked me to cut ties I would. So it’s your husband’s responsibility to ask you to cut ties with a man who is clearly a threat to your marriage? And he didn’t ask, so you’re golden? ---
**Author:** ![raventhief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/raventhief/32/4_2.png) [@raventhief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raventhief)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2015, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-may-have-lost-my-only-guy-friend/727288/403 "2015-08-26T02:45:52Z")
> [@April\_R](#): > > I disagree. Neither my kids nor my marriage have been negatively affected. Seriously? Your relationship has not been impacted in any way? Show your husband this entire thread and then ask him if there’s been an impact. We’ll wait. ---
**Author:** ![April\_R](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@April\_R](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/April_R)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2015, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-may-have-lost-my-only-guy-friend/727288/404 "2015-08-26T02:51:59Z")
raventhief, I’m not going to answer you because no matter what I say you’ll twist it. I am fine. My marriage is fine. My kids are fine. Sorry no drama for you to feed off of anymore. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2015, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-may-have-lost-my-only-guy-friend/727288/405 "2015-08-26T02:52:25Z")
> [@April\_R](#): > > Right now I think staying in touch with Guy Friend as a friend is right. > He didn’t do anything wrong. He enjoys talking with me, and I can be a fantastic friend. It would be even more immature and selfish of me to ignore him because I couldn’t decide to cut the lusty crap. I may be a very emotional person, but I’m not a jerk. I see. You’re doing it for humanitarian reasons. ---
**Author:** ![raventhief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/raventhief/32/4_2.png) [@raventhief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raventhief)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2015, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-may-have-lost-my-only-guy-friend/727288/406 "2015-08-26T03:06:53Z")
Honestly april I’m not trying to twist a damn thing. I have been on the innocent side of an emotional affair - i get that you are just doing what you’re doing and just trying to live your life. You don’t want to be a jerk to guy and your husband seems ok. But having dealt with emotional betrayal - i think your husband is affected. He’s great, he’s fabulous - but i would be downright shocked if he wasn’t also hurting. ---
**Author:** ![raventhief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/raventhief/32/4_2.png) [@raventhief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raventhief)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2015, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-may-have-lost-my-only-guy-friend/727288/407 "2015-08-26T03:15:58Z")
QUOTE=raventhief;18632033]Honestly april I’m not trying to twist a damn thing. I have been on the innocent side of an emotional affair - i get that you are just doing what you’re doing and just trying to live your life. You don’t want to be a jerk to guy and your husband seems ok. But having dealt with emotional betrayal - i think your husband is affected. He’s great, he’s fabulous - but i would be downright shocked if he wasn’t also hurting. [/QUOTE] Missed edit window: Like i said I’ve been in the position your husband is in now. At least they didn’t have sex. And we can work it out. And we did. But it still fucking hurt. ---
**Author:** ![fervour](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@fervour](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fervour)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2015, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-may-have-lost-my-only-guy-friend/727288/408 "2015-08-26T04:31:04Z")
> [@raventhief](#): > > Seriously? Your relationship has not been impacted in any way? > > Show your husband this entire thread and then ask him if there’s been an impact. We’ll wait. I agree with raventhief, “Show your husband this entire thread and then ask him if there’s been an impact. . .” My guess is you are too ashamed to show him this thread or you think his response would be "that’s just April being April. . . " -----This is your husband. Aren’t you supposed to feel that you can share anything with him? Really. You need to stop communicating with the other guy. Drop it. No explanation. Nothing. You need to walk away from the crazy before it consumes you. Don’t put your crazy on your husband. Recognize that you love him. —Or choose the other guy and try something new. It won’t be better. eta- I hope it works for you and no one is hurt too bad. I think your best option is to break it off with the other guy and never tell your husband. Accept it is a mistake made. Resolve to love your husband more. ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2015, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-may-have-lost-my-only-guy-friend/727288/409 "2015-08-26T04:33:17Z")
> [@April\_R](#): > > I don’t know to be honest. Part of me would almost see it as a relief, that I wasn’t completely the bad guy in this whole thing. But as it is, he doesn’t do things like that. I don’t understand April. You said your husband is fine with this. Your guy friend is fine with this. His mother and sister are fine with this. Your kids are fine with this. And you’re fine with this. Everyone is fine with this! Completely and totally fine. This is 100% acceptable and appropriate for everyone involved. So then why are you saying you’re the bad guy? ---
**Author:** ![dude77](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@dude77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dude77)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2015, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-may-have-lost-my-only-guy-friend/727288/410 "2015-08-26T05:21:26Z")
lol … planning on going to see another man(who you find sexually attractive) in some other state far far away from your family while you leave your beloved husband to tend to the kids … wrong on so many damn levels … I would say what in the fk is wrong with you … but it seems as if your husband is perfectly ok with this cuckold arrangement … would you be ok if your husband was doing this ? … if you are, then well I commend you at least for being consistent ---
**Author:** ![April\_R](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@April\_R](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/April_R)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2015, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-may-have-lost-my-only-guy-friend/727288/411 "2015-08-26T13:42:30Z")
I cannot emphasize this any more than I have already. Sexy stuff has stopped between me and Guy Friend. Point blank. My husband isn’t cuckholded, stop using that word, it’s gross. If I visit Guy Friend it’s because I have earned a child free few days away from home by myself. My husband took a week away to go to a conference in Toronto two years ago a few days after our youngest was born, leaving my home to take care of two 5 yr olds and a newborn. I am more than a little offended at the suggestion that I am wrong for thinking my husband could handle taking care of the kids without me for a bit. Not even a week. That’s messed up that a woman has to feel guilty for leaving her husband, the father of her children, alone so she can have a well deserved break. Y’all are wrong for that. ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2015, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-may-have-lost-my-only-guy-friend/727288/412 "2015-08-26T13:49:29Z")
> [@April\_R](#): > > I cannot emphasize this any more than I have already. > Sexy stuff has stopped between me and Guy Friend. Point blank. My husband isn’t cuckholded, stop using that word, it’s gross. > If I visit Guy Friend it’s because I have earned a child free few days away from home by myself. My husband took a week away to go to a conference in Toronto two years ago a few days after our youngest was born, leaving my home to take care of two 5 yr olds and a newborn. I am more than a little offended at the suggestion that I am wrong for thinking my husband could handle taking care of the kids without me for a bit. Not even a week. That’s messed up that a woman has to feel guilty for leaving her husband, the father of her children, alone so she can have a well deserved break. Y’all are wrong for that. If you were leaving your husband and kids alone to attend a conference, April, not one person in this thread would suggest you should feel guilty. ---
**Author:** ![Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Living_Well_Is_Best_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2015, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-may-have-lost-my-only-guy-friend/727288/413 "2015-08-26T13:53:27Z")
> [@April\_R](#): > > I cannot emphasize this any more than I have already. > Sexy stuff has stopped between me and Guy Friend. Point blank. My husband isn’t cuckholded, stop using that word, it’s gross. > If I visit Guy Friend it’s because I have earned a child free few days away from home by myself. My husband took a week away to go to a conference in Toronto two years ago a few days after our youngest was born, leaving my home to take care of two 5 yr olds and a newborn. I am more than a little offended at the suggestion that I am wrong for thinking my husband could handle taking care of the kids without me for a bit. Not even a week. That’s messed up that a woman has to feel guilty for leaving her husband, the father of her children, alone so she can have a well deserved break. Y’all are wrong for that. Comparing your husband going to a conference with you visiting “guy friend” shows just how clueless you really are. I feel sorry for your husband. ---
**Author:** ![DummyGladHands](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/49beb7/32.png) [@DummyGladHands](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DummyGladHands)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2015, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-may-have-lost-my-only-guy-friend/727288/414 "2015-08-26T14:13:20Z")
Still?? Really??? ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2015, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-may-have-lost-my-only-guy-friend/727288/415 "2015-08-26T14:15:29Z")
You ‘earned it’? (You have to ‘earn’ a few days away?) By him going to a conference, for his work, two years ago? (Nice score keeping! Sure sign of a healthy adult relationship!) He can’t be left to manage his own kids alone for a week? (What? Is he a Duggar maybe?) It just gets creepier, yikes! ---
**Author:** ![bucketybuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/898d66/32.png) [@bucketybuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bucketybuck)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2015, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-may-have-lost-my-only-guy-friend/727288/416 "2015-08-26T14:20:39Z")
> [@April\_R](#): > > I cannot emphasize this any more than I have already. > Sexy stuff has stopped between me and Guy Friend. Point blank. My husband isn’t cuckholded, stop using that word, it’s gross. > If I visit Guy Friend it’s because I have earned a child free few days away from home by myself. My husband took a week away to go to a conference in Toronto two years ago a few days after our youngest was born, leaving my home to take care of two 5 yr olds and a newborn. I am more than a little offended at the suggestion that I am wrong for thinking my husband could handle taking care of the kids without me for a bit. Not even a week. That’s messed up that a woman has to feel guilty for leaving her husband, the father of her children, alone so she can have a well deserved break. Y’all are wrong for that. Damn right girl , you earned that cock so don’t listen to the haters, just you go and get that well deserved rogering from your “friend”. Your husband is a total cuckold though. I bet he doesn’t mind because he probably got his at the conference in Toronto. In fact, no probably about it, so you would be totally justified about going to get yours. ---
**Author:** ![eclectic\_wench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ac91a4/32.png) [@eclectic\_wench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eclectic_wench)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2015, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-may-have-lost-my-only-guy-friend/727288/417 "2015-08-26T14:25:01Z")
Nice straw man. No one in this thread has suggested that your husband can’t or shouldn’t handle taking care of the kids for a week. No one has suggested that you should feel guilty for taking a break. People are saying that _going to visit the guy you were just sexting and getting passionate about_ is a bad idea. If you were taking that exact same break to stay with your best woman friend, do you seriously think anyone here would say that was a bad idea? ---
**Author:** ![Bruce\_Wayne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@Bruce\_Wayne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bruce_Wayne)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2015, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-may-have-lost-my-only-guy-friend/727288/418 "2015-08-26T14:36:24Z")
Next time I here some guy lamenting on being single, I’m referring him to this thread. ---
**Author:** ![April\_R](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@April\_R](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/April_R)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2015, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-may-have-lost-my-only-guy-friend/727288/419 "2015-08-26T14:41:13Z")
I am not getting any cock from any one other than my husband. Y’all need to get your heads out my panties. ---
**Author:** ![April\_R](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@April\_R](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/April_R)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2015, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-may-have-lost-my-only-guy-friend/727288/420 "2015-08-26T14:43:30Z")
> [@elbows](#): > > He can’t be left to manage his own kids alone for a week? (What? Is he a Duggar maybe?) Fuck you. That’s crossed the line asshole. I don’t care if I get modded for this. How fucking dare you ever insinuate my husband would ever molest a child, you sick fucker [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-may-have-lost-my-only-guy-friend/727288.md?page=20) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-may-have-lost-my-only-guy-friend/727288.md?page=22)