# I think I need a good laxative... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 8, 2001, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-need-a-good-laxative/71750 "2001-07-08T23:40:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![aha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eada6e/32.png) [@aha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aha)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2001, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-need-a-good-laxative/71750/1 "2001-07-08T23:40:55Z")
Things just ain’t movin’ the way the should know what I mean? I don’t like water that much either. Unless I get real hot and thirsty. But then I a ramblin… Any suggestions? Please be kind. Thanks ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2001, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-need-a-good-laxative/71750/2 "2001-07-09T01:23:01Z")
Any suggestions other than please stop starting threads like this, because whenever I see your name on anything I feel compelled to open it regardless of the subject matter and now I’m sitting here wondering if I should be excited or embarrassed that I’ve just read about how an Aging Rock Star is having bowel problems? Nope, sorry, can’t help ya. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2001, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-need-a-good-laxative/71750/3 "2001-07-09T01:40:16Z")
Sounds like a job for [http://www.colonblow.com/](http://www.colonblow.com/) Go on, try it. Dare ya. ---
**Author:** ![Sultan\_Kinkari](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7bcc69/32.png) [@Sultan\_Kinkari](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sultan_Kinkari)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2001, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-need-a-good-laxative/71750/4 "2001-07-09T01:42:35Z")
My first thought was to have a friend tie a rope around your feet then drag you behind their ski boat, but then I thought of a much better idea. - Rent a jetski for the day and pull up along a sandy shore. Tie it off on both sides with ropes that are anchored to the ground. Have a friend hop on the jetski and gun the throttle. Instead of moving, the jetski will shoot out a big rooster tail. Bend over in front of it. - Drink some 10W-40 Quaker State. It’s summertime so you would want a heavier oil. - Buy some prunes. - Get shitty drunk off of the cheapest beer you can find. After you have tried everything I have suggested, you should be pretty much back to normal. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![aha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eada6e/32.png) [@aha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aha)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2001, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-need-a-good-laxative/71750/5 "2001-07-09T02:38:26Z")
Perse: > [@](#): > > Aging Rock Star is having bowel problems? Maybe so but I take comfort in the fact that most of my groupies are probably having the same problem right now. Besides one can be my age, constipated and devilishly handsome at the same time you know. :rolleyes: > [@](#): > > Sounds like a job for [http://www.colonblow.com/](http://www.colonblow.com/) > > Go on, try it. Dare ya. Gives a whole new meaning to blow it out your ass doesn’t it muffin? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Diane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2acd7d/32.png) [@Diane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diane)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2001, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-need-a-good-laxative/71750/6 "2001-07-09T02:41:59Z")
> [@](#): > > My first thought was to have a friend tie a rope around your feet then drag you behind their ski boat, but then I thought of a much better idea. > > - Rent a jetski for the day and pull up along a sandy shore. Tie it off on both sides with ropes that are anchored to the ground. Have a friend hop on the jetski and gun the throttle. Instead of moving, the jetski will shoot out a big rooster tail. Bend over in front of it. Maybe I’m not picturing it right, but wouldn’t that make it worse? ---
**Author:** ![bunnymom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c4cdca/32.png) [@bunnymom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bunnymom)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2001, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-need-a-good-laxative/71750/7 "2001-07-09T03:50:30Z")
Does this have anything to do with the mouse? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Whammo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8dc957/32.png) [@Whammo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whammo)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2001, 6:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-need-a-good-laxative/71750/8 "2001-07-09T06:19:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by three bunny mama \* > \*\*Does this have anything to do with the mouse? 😉 \*\* I think he tried the 'ol Hamster up the tube trick to get the mouse out of the car… If not, DUDE, you dont need laxitives… all you need ia a long handled spoon. ---
**Author:** ![Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bad_News_Baboon)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2001, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-need-a-good-laxative/71750/9 "2001-07-09T16:49:15Z")
go eat at mcDonalds. and drink a big latte, too. works like a champ. ---
**Author:** ![BunnyGirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@BunnyGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BunnyGirl)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2001, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-need-a-good-laxative/71750/10 "2001-07-09T16:52:37Z")
Lots of apple juice and mexican food with lots of beans. You’ll be right as rain in no time. Of course, that doesn’t go for the people that have to live with you! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![plnnr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2001, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-i-need-a-good-laxative/71750/11 "2001-07-09T18:32:35Z")
I once dated a girl who had to, had to, had to have a cigarette and a cup of coffee every morning to get things moving. What is it about nicotine and caffiene that seems to stimulate peristalsis?