# I think I'm an alcoholic **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 16, 2010, 7:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-im-an-alcoholic/557324 "2010-10-16T07:18:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Aswan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c68b51/32.png) [@Aswan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aswan)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2010, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-im-an-alcoholic/557324/21 "2010-10-16T18:48:30Z")
As most people have already said, I don’t think you’re an alcoholic. I think, like all of us, you have demons in your life that you are trying to slay. Alcohol is a depressant and, in your case, it appears to give your demons an opening. You typically drink little but occasionally go overboard. Is there some mechanism triggering these events? Bad boss? Difficulties with the wife or kids? Financial problems? I don’t think you need a shrink or AA. I think you simply need some introspection. And serious support from those closest to you. Talk about it with someone you love and trust. Your wife. Your brother or sister. This is where you need to go overboard. Let it all out. The worst thing you can do keep it to yourself. You can’t change what you did. Forgive yourself. And resolve not to do it again. There has only been one perfect life—and we all know how \*that \*turned out. You’re imperfect. Accept that you’re going to screw up occasionalily. Just don’t screw up too badly. You can swerve some, just keep it between the ditches. My best regards. ---
**Author:** ![guizot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guizot/32/3636_2.png) [@guizot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/guizot)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2010, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-im-an-alcoholic/557324/22 "2010-10-16T19:11:50Z")
AA isn’t treatment, so it’s impossible to determine whether it “works” or not using data collected with that kind of methodology. (Most of it self-reported, by people who are by nature liars and by definition anonymous? Come on.) AA is a spiritual program, so to say it “doesn’t work” makes about as much sense as saying “Lutherism doesn’t work.” If AA works for one person, (namely **Twikster** ), then AA works. (Of course, by its very design, AA requires more than one person.) To see such an effort to research AA to such a ridiculous degree, gives pause to wonder if the lady doth protest too much. ---
**Author:** ![Kaio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c68b51/32.png) [@Kaio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaio)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2010, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-im-an-alcoholic/557324/23 "2010-10-16T19:55:30Z")
Given the underlying aggression issues, I’d also suggest, first, going to your doctor and getting a complete physical, and then getting a referral to a therapist. From what you said, it seems like your problem is less about alcohol, and more about some serious anger or other emotional garbage lying just under the surface. When you’re in control, it stays bottled up, but when you’re not… boom. Not drinking will certainly help with the symptoms, so to that extent that’s an excellent first step, but I think addressing the underlying cause will ultimately be a more long-term solution. If emotional pressure is building up like that, it’s better to find healthy ways to release it a little at a time, in a timely fashion, rather than letting it build up to a giant once-a-year blowup. If you never learn to do that, I imagine it’s quite possible you’ll find some other means than alcohol to blow. It might mean you snap every year and a half instead of every year, but that’s not much help if snapping involves waving loaded weapons around. ---
**Author:** ![SecretaryofEvil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@SecretaryofEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SecretaryofEvil)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2010, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-im-an-alcoholic/557324/24 "2010-10-16T20:14:07Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > > [@twickster](#): > > > > That’s gotta be one of the most ignorant fucking things you’ve ever spewed here. AA absolutely does work, for me and millions of other people. > > [Are](http://www.orange-papers.org/orange-effectiveness.html) [you](http://cbtrecovery.org/AAefficacyrates.htm) [sure](http://www.addictioninfo.org/articles/1587/1/Estimates-of-AAs-Effectiveness/Page1.html) about that? A 2-5% success rate isn’t very good. A 10% success rate wouldn’t be very good. A 25% success rate wouldn’t be much better. It seems that AA doesn’t really effect whether a person is going to stay sober or not. > > > [@Addiction Info](#): > > > > In terms of new-member dropout rate, all five surveys were in close agreement. According to the “Comments” document, the “% of those coming to AA within the first year that have remained the indicated number of months” is 19% after one month; 10% after three months; and 5% after 12 months.xii In other words, AA has a 95% new-member dropout rate during the first year of attendance. > > > > If success is defined as one-year’s sobriety, on the face of it this 95% dropout rate gives AA a maximum success rate of only 5%; and a great many new members do not remain continuously sober during their first year in AA, which causes the apparent AA success rate to fall even lower. > > People in AA have the same success rate as those not in AA. Thank you! I say stuff like this about AA all the time, and people look at me like I’m the devil. Dangle, cutting out the alcohol won’t magically solve all of your problems, but it certainly couldn’t hurt. Good luck, I hope you work things out. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2010, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-im-an-alcoholic/557324/25 "2010-10-16T20:19:03Z")
> [@Contrapuntal](#): > > > [@twickster](#): > > > > **DangleYourModifier** , check out AA and see what you think, instead of taking the word of some asshole on the 'net who’s talking on who knows what kind of uninformed basis. > > Moderators get to call posters assholes in MPSIMS now? Nice gig. I wasn’t speaking as a moderator, but as a regular poster. That said, I shouldn’t have called the Melon an asshole. **Melon** , I’m sorry I called you an asshole. ---
**Author:** ![koufax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7ea924/32.png) [@koufax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/koufax)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2010, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-im-an-alcoholic/557324/26 "2010-10-16T21:17:06Z")
If you were allergic to a certain food and it could possibly kill you, wouldn’t you be able to stop eating that food? If you drink again, it is VERY possible that you will accidentally shoot someone or kill someone in your car. AA saved my ass 36 years ago so I must be in that lucky 2-5 %. What are the odds that with such a small percentage at least two of us are on the SDMB posting on this very thread. Dangle, it doesn’t matter whether you are really an alcoholic or not. You can’t handle alcohol so don’t drink alcohol. It is that simple. And if you cannot do this on your own, get some kind of help or you could possibly end up dead or in prison. It doesn’t have to be AA, although I have met many great people there. (and a few assholes too) When I first got sober, I was reluctant to tell anyone for fear of ridicule but once I did, everyone I told said they had a friend or family member who should stop drinking and not one gave me any shit about it. Good luck! ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2010, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-im-an-alcoholic/557324/27 "2010-10-16T23:03:26Z")
> [@DangleYourModifier](#): > > I’ve decided that the only real answer is not to drink at all. Given what you say, yeah, probably. I’m not qualified to say if you’re alcoholic or something else, however, what I got from your OP is very simple: when you drink you have problems. So… you’re a _problem drinker_. > [@](#): > > Most importantly how do I fix what I did? What actions can I take to show my family that I can change. I’ve said I will but talk is cheap, as they say. Stop drinking. First and foremost, if the problems show up when you drink then stop drinking. Period. Full stop. There are several alternatives out there to support you. I’ll let those who have had this or similar problems discuss them. Good luck, I wish you success. ---
**Author:** ![Ibanez](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a4c791/32.png) [@Ibanez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ibanez)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2010, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-im-an-alcoholic/557324/28 "2010-10-16T23:04:15Z")
Snip > [@davidNZ](#): > > in my opinion you are not an alcoholic.. Yes he is. Blacking out and firing a weapon in a house with your family inside then ramming the car into the house is a serious problem brought on by **alcohol**. **DangleYourModifier** get rid of your weapons and go to an AA meeting ASAP. Best of luck to you. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2010, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-im-an-alcoholic/557324/29 "2010-10-16T23:06:50Z")
I don’t know about the alcoholic label, either. I stopped drinking years ago because I got wicked hangovers from a ridiculously small amount of alcohol. You get drunk and stupid about once a year from alcohol. It seems to me that the answer to your problem is the same as mine - stop drinking. Then, if you have blow-ups, you’ll know that you need some other kind of help, and it isn’t alcohol-related. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2010, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-im-an-alcoholic/557324/30 "2010-10-16T23:53:10Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > > [@twickster](#): > > > > That’s gotta be one of the most ignorant fucking things you’ve ever spewed here. AA absolutely does work, for me and millions of other people. > > [Are](http://www.orange-papers.org/orange-effectiveness.html) [you](http://cbtrecovery.org/AAefficacyrates.htm) [sure](http://www.addictioninfo.org/articles/1587/1/Estimates-of-AAs-Effectiveness/Page1.html) about that? A 2-5% success rate isn’t very good. A 10% success rate wouldn’t be very good. A 25% success rate wouldn’t be much better. It seems that AA doesn’t really effect whether a person is going to stay sober or not. > > > [@Addiction Info](#): > > > > In terms of new-member dropout rate, all five surveys were in close agreement. According to the “Comments” document, the “% of those coming to AA within the first year that have remained the indicated number of months” is 19% after one month; 10% after three months; and 5% after 12 months.xii In other words, AA has a 95% new-member dropout rate during the first year of attendance. > > > > If success is defined as one-year’s sobriety, on the face of it this 95% dropout rate gives AA a maximum success rate of only 5%; and a great many new members do not remain continuously sober during their first year in AA, which causes the apparent AA success rate to fall even lower. > > People in AA have the same success rate as those not in AA. The fault, dear Brutus, is not in the program, but in the people availing themselves of it. If you fail at remaining sober, it’s YOUR failure, not the program’s failure. Alcoholics and drug addicts have a horribly high rate of recidivism, and most blame everyone but themselves. My son is having success because he really wants and needs to succeed. He wants to keep his family, his job and his house and can only do that sober. His wife goes to AA for the community support and feels it has helped her immensely in understanding what motivates an addict. The same goes for my brother. My father, on the other hand, drowned in his own blood from a hemmoraged artery in his throat at age 53. He just didn’t give a shit about himself or anybody else. Quoting statistics is just bullshit. ---
**Author:** ![Red\_Barchetta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/da6949/32.png) [@Red\_Barchetta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Red_Barchetta)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2010, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-im-an-alcoholic/557324/31 "2010-10-17T00:04:49Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > Quoting statistics is just bullshit. Indeed, personal anecdotes are much better. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2010, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-im-an-alcoholic/557324/32 "2010-10-17T00:29:16Z")
> [@Red\_Barchetta](#): > > > [@Chefguy](#): > > > > Quoting statistics is just bullshit. > > Indeed, personal anecdotes are much better. Piss off. ---
**Author:** ![Quintas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/48db29/32.png) [@Quintas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quintas)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2010, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-im-an-alcoholic/557324/33 "2010-10-17T00:35:52Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > > [@Red\_Barchetta](#): > > > > Indeed, personal anecdotes are much better. > > Piss off. This jibes with my impression that AA works by replacing alcohol addiction with addiction to AA. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2010, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-im-an-alcoholic/557324/34 "2010-10-17T00:42:32Z")
Perhaps, but AA addiction doesn’t cause liver disease or traffic accidents. Arguably, even though an addiction, it’s much healthy for both the addict and those around him. ---
**Author:** ![BorgHunter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@BorgHunter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BorgHunter)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2010, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-im-an-alcoholic/557324/35 "2010-10-17T00:55:26Z")
> [@Quintas](#): > > > [@Chefguy](#): > > > > Piss off. > > This jibes with my impression that AA works by replacing alcohol addiction with addiction to AA. You’re probably right, but I’d argue that replacing a very harmful addiction with an, at worst, moderately harmful addiction is a net benefit. I certainly wouldn’t dispute that programs like AA work for _some_ people—but because AA has such a dismal recidivism rate (specifically in relation to other methods), I also think there are, for the majority of alcoholics, far better methods in which to manage alcoholism. It’s just too demanding and too social a solution for a lot of people. Recidivism to any sort of addiction is going to be high, due to the nature of the beast. IMO, AA shouldn’t be the reflexive, automatic choice for _all_ alcoholics (ETA: like e.g. **Ibanez** ’s upthread suggestion) —treatment should depend on personality, and the general treatment for 85% of people (who _want_ to stay sober—no treatment will work if the person doesn’t want it to) should be a system of negative reinforcement using drugs like disulfiram or naltrexone, administered under the supervision of a psychiatrist and a psychologist. That kind of stuff’s been proved to be effective since Skinner’s days, and I think it’d keep a lot of people away from AA who aren’t suited for that type of treatment. ---
**Author:** ![Quintas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/48db29/32.png) [@Quintas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quintas)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2010, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-im-an-alcoholic/557324/36 "2010-10-17T01:02:13Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > Perhaps, but AA addiction doesn’t cause liver disease or traffic accidents. Arguably, even though an addiction, it’s much healthy for both the addict and those around him. I bet their lung cancer rates are through the roof though. ---
**Author:** ![Red\_Barchetta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/da6949/32.png) [@Red\_Barchetta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Red_Barchetta)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2010, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-im-an-alcoholic/557324/37 "2010-10-17T01:20:45Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > > [@Red\_Barchetta](#): > > > > Indeed, personal anecdotes are much better. > > Piss off. Is that not the basis of what you stated? ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2010, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-im-an-alcoholic/557324/38 "2010-10-17T01:57:10Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > Quoting statistics is just bullshit. Yeah, who needs things like facts when we can just close our eyes and pretend it works. Fact is that if you’re really an alcoholic then check yourself into a rehab center or something. AA isn’t going to effect your chances. Fighting ignorance indeed. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2010, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-im-an-alcoholic/557324/39 "2010-10-17T02:08:21Z")
In an effort to lighten things up, I present my favorite alcoholic joke: Q: What’s the difference between an alcoholic and a drunk? A: A drunk doesn’t have to go to all them goddamn meetings. mmm ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2010, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-im-an-alcoholic/557324/40 "2010-10-17T02:16:58Z")
Lol. I’ll remember that one. 😛 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-im-an-alcoholic/557324.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-im-an-alcoholic/557324.md?page=3)