# I think I'm going to cry. Whining, rage, and advice inside. (Hair related) **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 14, 2013, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-im-going-to-cry-whining-rage-and-advice-inside-hair-related/647191 "2013-01-14T17:54:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![RandMcnally](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@RandMcnally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandMcnally)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2013, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-im-going-to-cry-whining-rage-and-advice-inside-hair-related/647191/21 "2013-01-15T00:27:35Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > I’m sure you mean well with this advice, but you’ve never been black, have you? I can’t just walk into Aveda, or wherever, in a largely white neighborhood and trust someone to put chemical relaxers on my hair. For black women living in white neighborhoods, good hair care is a great, soul crushing quest. It’s not just women who have this issue (although it is worse for them). My brother-in-law, although he’s white, has hair just like mine (I’m black and Mexican) and one day he needed a haircut and randomly went to a black barber and was amazed that the guy was able to cut his hair perfectly. He’s only gone to black shops ever since. I’m kinda lucky in that, although I have the hair, I just get a high and tight, 0 on the sides, 1 on top every time, so it’s really hard to screw up (although most mess up the fade). ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2013, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-im-going-to-cry-whining-rage-and-advice-inside-hair-related/647191/22 "2013-01-15T02:20:42Z")
> [@Nzinga\_Seated](#): > > Find a Dominican salon. They will have your herr laid, girl. All they’re gonna do is use a blow dryer and a rolly brush. > [@RandMcnally](#): > > It’s not just women who have this issue (although it is worse for them). My brother-in-law, although he’s white, has hair just like mine (I’m black and Mexican) and one day he needed a haircut and randomly went to a black barber and was amazed that the guy was able to cut his hair perfectly. He’s only gone to black shops ever since. Oh yeah, I’ve seen a few ultra curly haired white girls at the salon before. In college I once recommended my salon to a white girl with a Jew fro. She was skeptical at first, but then I told her if they could make _this_, while pointing to my hair which at that point had been straightened without chemicals, straight and shiny, they got you. She went and thanked me. So okay, I have an appointment tomorrow with a complete stranger. Oh god, I’m so scared. ---
**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2013, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-im-going-to-cry-whining-rage-and-advice-inside-hair-related/647191/23 "2013-01-15T02:26:54Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > All they’re gonna do is use a blow dryer and a rolly brush. Look, MOL. I have been rocking my hair naturally kinky for over 15 years now. I don’t know what to tell you. I just felt left out and wanted to chime in. Plus, I swear I have heard black girls rave about those Dominican salons. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2013, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-im-going-to-cry-whining-rage-and-advice-inside-hair-related/647191/24 "2013-01-15T02:37:54Z")
Ha. Those girls raving about the Dominican salons are right, btw. They know magic and can get your hair bone straight with just a blow dryer, but I need something that can withstand sweat. I don’t want to my hair to poof up after 10 miles of cycling. Also, I don’t want to be afraid of the pool. Not that this will come up during a Midwestern winter, but still. ---
**Author:** ![Black\_Bisector](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ce73a5/32.png) [@Black\_Bisector](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Black_Bisector)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2013, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-im-going-to-cry-whining-rage-and-advice-inside-hair-related/647191/25 "2013-01-15T02:42:11Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > Hush! > > I’m sure you mean well with this advice, but you’ve never been black, have you? Just the other day I woke up black, the first thing I thought was, “Man, my dick is HUGE!” ---
**Author:** ![kayT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayt/32/3633_2.png) [@kayT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayT)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2013, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-im-going-to-cry-whining-rage-and-advice-inside-hair-related/647191/26 "2013-01-15T02:43:34Z")
Please come back and tell us how it went, **MOL**. ---
**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2013, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-im-going-to-cry-whining-rage-and-advice-inside-hair-related/647191/27 "2013-01-15T02:46:29Z")
> [@kayT](#): > > Please come back and tell us how it went, **MOL**. You are quick on the edit finger. I was gonna tell you how a huge black dick goes. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2013, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-im-going-to-cry-whining-rage-and-advice-inside-hair-related/647191/28 "2013-01-15T02:56:39Z")
What part of town you at, **MOL**? I’d ask some of the ladies at work, but I think they mostly live west or south, our office being in Oak Brook. I had a Dominican lady cut my white-boy hair a couple times, but she kept insisting on doing a good job instead of the slash-and-burn-everywhere-with-a-#8-clipper haircut I asked for. The last time I went to a place that only charges five bucks, but between a haircut done with scissors duller than what I bought at Everything’s a Buck and results that even I could tell were substandard I shan’t be going there again. ---
**Author:** ![kayT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayt/32/3633_2.png) [@kayT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayT)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2013, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-im-going-to-cry-whining-rage-and-advice-inside-hair-related/647191/29 "2013-01-15T03:01:49Z")
> [@Nzinga\_Seated](#): > > You are quick on the edit finger. I was gonna tell you how a huge black dick goes. Don’t let me stop you… ---
**Author:** ![zoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zoid/32/336_2.png) [@zoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoid)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2013, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-im-going-to-cry-whining-rage-and-advice-inside-hair-related/647191/30 "2013-01-15T03:10:07Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > You’re black? Funniest fucking thing I’ve read all week! MOL - Chicago isn’t that bad. I swear we’re pretty nice in Chicago. ---
**Author:** ![April\_R](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@April\_R](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/April_R)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2013, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-im-going-to-cry-whining-rage-and-advice-inside-hair-related/647191/31 "2013-01-15T03:14:24Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > but thanks to Chicago’s ordinance banishing all black people to the south and west sides,? Can you elaborate on this. It sounds strange and wrong to me 😕 ---
**Author:** ![zoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zoid/32/336_2.png) [@zoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoid)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2013, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-im-going-to-cry-whining-rage-and-advice-inside-hair-related/647191/32 "2013-01-15T03:15:45Z")
> [@April\_R](#): > > Can you elaborate on this. It sounds strange and wrong to me 😕 Really? ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2013, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-im-going-to-cry-whining-rage-and-advice-inside-hair-related/647191/33 "2013-01-15T03:20:33Z")
> [@zoid](#): > > Funniest fucking thing I’ve read all week! > > MOL - Chicago isn’t that bad. I swear we’re pretty nice in Chicago. Well, yeah, but she’s a mean old lady, so… ---
**Author:** ![zoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zoid/32/336_2.png) [@zoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoid)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2013, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-im-going-to-cry-whining-rage-and-advice-inside-hair-related/647191/34 "2013-01-15T03:28:39Z")
> [@April\_R](#): > > Can you elaborate on this. It sounds strange and wrong to me 😕 Assuming you were sincere… Chicago has a long history of self-segregating. We have Greek-town, Little-Italy, Chinatown, etc. For better or worse people tend to aggregate in neighborhoods of their own ethnicity. The African American neighborhoods are on the South and West sides and tend to be economically depressed. Chicago unfortunately has not become integrated as it should be. It’s not unknown but far too rare to find neighborhoods that are diverse. The reason my wife and I chose to move to Oak Park was based largely upon the fact that we are an interracial couple. OP is very accommodating to that. The city makes an effort to welcome people of all backgrounds. There is a village government effort to welcome multiracial families, gay and lesbian families, immigrant families, single families, etc. We believe our diversity is our strength. ---
**Author:** ![Taomist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@Taomist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taomist)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2013, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-im-going-to-cry-whining-rage-and-advice-inside-hair-related/647191/35 "2013-01-15T03:30:18Z")
I need to find me a black salon! Or at least a male stylist. My hair isn’t that weird, but just curly/wavy/stubborn enough that nobody can do shit with it! Would probably help if I knew what I wanted them to DO with it, but apparantly walking in and saying “I really need to look more professional than this; can you help?” isn’t the answer, lol. Also, to hell with stylists that insist on cutting hair wet. It’s nothing what it looks like dry, NOTHING. I leave the place and two hours later it’s 3 inches shorter, gddamnit. My dad was raised on the south side, and he’s white, but that didn’t stop him from fighting with the italians the next block over, or the Serbs on the next, or the Irish on the other side. Segregated as hell! ---
**Author:** ![April\_R](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@April\_R](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/April_R)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2013, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-im-going-to-cry-whining-rage-and-advice-inside-hair-related/647191/36 "2013-01-15T03:43:44Z")
> [@zoid](#): > > Assuming you were sincere… > > Chicago has a long history of self-segregating. We have Greek-town, Little-Italy, Chinatown, etc. > > For better or worse people tend to aggregate in neighborhoods of their own ethnicity. > > The African American neighborhoods are on the South and West sides and tend to be economically depressed. > > Chicago unfortunately has not become integrated as it should be. It’s not unknown but far too rare to find neighborhoods that are diverse. > > The reason my wife and I chose to move to Oak Park was based largely upon the fact that we are an interracial couple. OP is very accommodating to that. The city makes an effort to welcome people of all backgrounds. There is a village government effort to welcome multiracial families, gay and lesbian families, immigrant families, single families, etc. We believe our diversity is our strength. Oh. I didn’t know if it was an historical legacy or a current ordinance. If it had been a current enforced ordinance I was going to be all like :eek: Not that a historical and persisting legacy of segregation aren’t also bad, of course. Growing up mostly in the South I have seen this legacy of segregation and it is never a good thing. Living in Memphis I am thankfully exposed to more diversity, but there are still pockets of racial enclaves that just persist no matter what, and it is disheartening. One of the reasons we moved were we did in Bartlett was the extreme diversity in our neighborhood. I love it. I think we may be the only white family on the block. We have people from Laos, Vietnam, Africa, the Dominican Republic, and of course AA on our street alone! ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2013, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-im-going-to-cry-whining-rage-and-advice-inside-hair-related/647191/37 "2013-01-15T04:05:38Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > …but thanks to Chicago’s ordinance banishing all black people to the south and west sides, Whu?? ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2013, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-im-going-to-cry-whining-rage-and-advice-inside-hair-related/647191/38 "2013-01-15T04:18:07Z")
> [@zoid](#): > > Assuming you were sincere… > > Chicago has a long history of self-segregating. We have Greek-town, Little-Italy, Chinatown, etc…snip… I was curious too. Not everyone has a good working knowledge of how things work in the “big cities” or is trying to be snarky about this sort of thing (former sheltered Alaskan here). Some of us honestly didn’t know, so thanks for explaining. PS, why do you have to have your hair relaxed **MOL**? The natural look is cute (also an honest question). ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2013, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-im-going-to-cry-whining-rage-and-advice-inside-hair-related/647191/39 "2013-01-15T04:21:43Z")
Well, the city couldn’t do it legally but the lenders and insurance companies did it through redlining and the Chicago Real Estate Board did it through racial-deed restrictions, which Dr King came here to protest. [http://www.chicagomag.com/Chicago-Magazine/The-312/June-2012/The-Early-History-of-Segregation-in-Chicago/](http://www.chicagomag.com/Chicago-Magazine/The-312/June-2012/The-Early-History-of-Segregation-in-Chicago/) ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2013, 6:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-im-going-to-cry-whining-rage-and-advice-inside-hair-related/647191/40 "2013-01-15T06:48:47Z")
Does your stylist take a day off that the other one is working? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-im-going-to-cry-whining-rage-and-advice-inside-hair-related/647191.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-im-going-to-cry-whining-rage-and-advice-inside-hair-related/647191.md?page=3)