# i think its time for me to pit myself **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 25, 2005, 7:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-its-time-for-me-to-pit-myself/314020 "2005-07-25T07:29:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![comrade33](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e99b99/32.png) [@comrade33](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/comrade33)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2005, 7:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-its-time-for-me-to-pit-myself/314020/1 "2005-07-25T07:29:06Z")
i have been foolish. there are so many things that i have done over in my life that warrant me pitting myself. i don’t know where to start because i’m drunk as hell. i am a bad son, husband and father. bad son because i can not talk to my parents. they are the only people on the face of this planet that truly irritate me. i yell at them all the time, have no respect for them and they have had no respect for me since i left the lds church. i am a bad husband because i overdosed two years ago and the day they let me out of the hospital my girlfriend (now wife) told me she was pregnant (she had been afraid to tell me before but decided to tell me because she was afraid i’d try it again (i think i would have tried again if she had not told me)). so i married her even though i did not (do not and probably never will) really love her as much as a husband should love his wife. i am in love with another woman (my wife knows i have relations with this woman, but does not know that i love my “mistress” more than i love her), obsessed is more like it. i wish i could leave my wife for this woman (see why i am pitting myself? i am a pig). then there’s the drinking. i drink way too much, i’m going to end up killing myself with booze one of these days. i haven’t had a sober night in months. i need to get my act together. i can’t even support my own family. i live with my parents and i am 21 for christ’s sake. i pit myself for being me. i am too young for this shit and yet here i am. i don’t care what any of you have to say about this, i just needed to say it somewhere. ---
**Author:** ![Aeschines](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aeschines/32/16251_2.png) [@Aeschines](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aeschines)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2005, 7:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-its-time-for-me-to-pit-myself/314020/2 "2005-07-25T07:57:38Z")
Many have not come as far as you have: realizing you have a problem. My advice starts here: Think about what you want, decide what you want, get what you want (within the bounds of the ethically acceptable). Right now it sounds as though you have conflicting wants. You want to be with your girlfriend, but perhaps that conflicts with your desire to be a “good father.” As the Joe Jackson song said, “You can’t get what you want till you know what you want.” Think about it. Then write down your vision. Then write down the steps you need to achieve that. Also, prayer helps. Pray to any good higher power: “Benevlolent Powers, help me to be good and overcome all of my problems and get through all my trials.” Help will come–sometimes amazingly quickly. But I find that, whenever help comes, it is only enough to get me 90% of the way there. I have to find the last 10% in me. The Powers are always looking for a chance to help you grow, you see. I wish you the best of luck! ---
**Author:** ![comrade33](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e99b99/32.png) [@comrade33](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/comrade33)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2005, 8:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-its-time-for-me-to-pit-myself/314020/3 "2005-07-25T08:47:46Z")
i am agnostic and recognize no higher power. i have not prayed in years and will not do so now. ---
**Author:** ![ParentalAdvisory](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/53a042/32.png) [@ParentalAdvisory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ParentalAdvisory)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2005, 8:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-its-time-for-me-to-pit-myself/314020/4 "2005-07-25T08:51:42Z")
You are your own power. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2005, 10:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-its-time-for-me-to-pit-myself/314020/5 "2005-07-25T10:14:07Z")
> [@comrade33](#): > > i am agnostic and recognize no higher power. Lord help us all if you’re the top of the heap. ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2005, 10:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-its-time-for-me-to-pit-myself/314020/6 "2005-07-25T10:37:18Z")
Not cool, **Lib**. ---
**Author:** ![FisherQueen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58f4c7/32.png) [@FisherQueen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FisherQueen)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2005, 10:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-its-time-for-me-to-pit-myself/314020/7 "2005-07-25T10:48:25Z")
Something that may or may not be relevant to your situation: People leaving a repressive or fundamentalist religion often experience depression and anxiety. I know I did. Therapy, and the time necessary to rebuild an identity for myself outside of the church, helped a lot. ---
**Author:** ![Uvula\_Donor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e19adc/32.png) [@Uvula\_Donor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uvula_Donor)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2005, 10:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-its-time-for-me-to-pit-myself/314020/8 "2005-07-25T10:59:42Z")
> [@Rilchiam](#): > > Not cool, **Lib**. Yeah, because we should all join the pity party. \ ***OP:** “Wah wah wah, I’m such a loser, I pit myself.” **Chorus:** Awwww, gee whiz, you’re not a loser. {{{hugs}}} We’ll all help you change.\* Fuck that. Quit getting drunk in your parent’s basement and wallowing in self-pity on a fucking message board and go out and _do something about it._ and while you’re at it, learn how to use the \*\*SHIFT \*\*key. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2005, 11:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-its-time-for-me-to-pit-myself/314020/9 "2005-07-25T11:00:19Z")
> [@Rilchiam](#): > > Not cool, **Lib**. I disagree. It is clear to me that there are higher powers than the OP, and the sooner he consults one of them, the better. Nothing good will come of wallowing in the bottom of the well while rejecting every hand that reaches down to him. He doesn’t need pats on the head telling him that he’s all right. He knows he isn’t all right. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2005, 11:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-its-time-for-me-to-pit-myself/314020/10 "2005-07-25T11:03:48Z")
Jeebus-the people here are something. If I were you, I would call AA. They will help. You seem to have several large problems on your plate at present–and the first thing you need to do to deal with them is get sober. There is one very good thing in your post: you recognize that you have a problem. Call AA. One step at a time. I also recommend therapy–AA may have some referrals lists. ---
**Author:** ![bluecanary](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bluecanary/32/3614_2.png) [@bluecanary](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bluecanary)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2005, 11:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-its-time-for-me-to-pit-myself/314020/11 "2005-07-25T11:06:01Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by **Liberal** > Lord help us all if you’re the top of the heap. You fucknugget. Please tell me you didn’t come into this thread, read the first 3 posts and consciously decide to take a shit on the OP’s beliefs–because that’s sure what this looks like to me. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2005, 11:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-its-time-for-me-to-pit-myself/314020/12 "2005-07-25T11:20:46Z")
I already explained what I meant. Maybe you should read 9 posts before taking shits of your own, fucknugget. ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2005, 11:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-its-time-for-me-to-pit-myself/314020/13 "2005-07-25T11:21:26Z")
> [@Liberal](#): > > Nothing good will come of wallowing in the bottom of the well while rejecting every hand that reaches down to him. He doesn’t need pats on the head telling him that he’s all right. He knows he isn’t all right. Well, if you’d just put it that way in the first place. All I was saying is, I didn’t see anything in the OP or his reply that indicated he thought he **was** “top of the heap”. That said, if he doesn’t believe in a higher power, he just doesn’t. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2005, 11:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-its-time-for-me-to-pit-myself/314020/14 "2005-07-25T11:24:22Z")
> [@Rilchiam](#): > > Well, if you’d just put it that way in the first place. All I was saying is, I didn’t see anything in the OP or his reply that indicated he thought he **was** “top of the heap”. That said, if he doesn’t believe in a higher power, he just doesn’t. He’d better start. I’m not talking about God; I’m talking about whatever it takes to climb out of his hole. That will not happen so long as he believes himself to be the highest power. ---
**Author:** ![bluecanary](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bluecanary/32/3614_2.png) [@bluecanary](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bluecanary)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2005, 11:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-its-time-for-me-to-pit-myself/314020/15 "2005-07-25T11:26:20Z")
So you are trying to tell me that your first response was not meant to be as insluting as I read it? Get this through your head: Not. Everyone. Believes. In. A. Higher. Power! ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2005, 11:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-its-time-for-me-to-pit-myself/314020/16 "2005-07-25T11:32:32Z")
> [@bluecanary](#): > > So you are trying to tell me that your first response was not meant to be as insluting as I read it? Some people seek out insults like moths seek out light. > [@](#): > > Get this through your head: Not. Everyone. Believes. In. A. Higher. Power! That’s fine if you’re the top of the heap. But if a man’s sky is the heel of a beggar’s sandal, then your dogma is his doom. ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2005, 11:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-its-time-for-me-to-pit-myself/314020/17 "2005-07-25T11:44:54Z")
> [@Liberal](#): > > He’d better start. I’m not talking about God; I’m talking about whatever it takes to climb out of his hole. That will not happen so long as he believes himself to be the highest power. **Lib** , what I’m about to say is meant to help. (It’s also not a {{{hug}}}.) If you would make good points such as the above in your **first** post to a thread, instead of dropping smartass one-liners and **then** coming back to clarify, you might not get flamed so often. Justathought. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2005, 11:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-its-time-for-me-to-pit-myself/314020/18 "2005-07-25T11:56:10Z")
> [@Rilchiam](#): > > **Lib** , what I’m about to say is meant to help. (It’s also not a {{{hug}}}.) > > If you would make good points such as the above in your **first** post to a thread, instead of dropping smartass one-liners and **then** coming back to clarify, you might not get flamed so often. Justathought. I appreciate that. But due respect, every clarification I have made is contained in the original words. I’m confident that Comrade33 knows full well what I meant. The less complicated a message is for a man who holds his parents in contempt, does not love his wife, flaunts his affair (she knows about it, he says), and drinks to excess, the better. My concern at this point is for the child. ---
**Author:** ![TVeblen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@TVeblen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVeblen)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2005, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-its-time-for-me-to-pit-myself/314020/19 "2005-07-25T13:11:12Z")
This thread isn’t salvagable, and it sure isn’t moveable. Locked. Veb