# I think my daughter is going to get proposed to tonight... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 22, 2011, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-my-daughter-is-going-to-get-proposed-to-tonight/600484 "2011-10-22T23:34:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Farmer\_Jane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Farmer\_Jane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Farmer_Jane)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2011, 7:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-my-daughter-is-going-to-get-proposed-to-tonight/600484/21 "2011-10-23T07:47:30Z")
I hope the guy wasn’t all nervous because he was going to dump her. That would be bad. ---
**Author:** ![PandaBear77](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@PandaBear77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PandaBear77)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2011, 7:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-my-daughter-is-going-to-get-proposed-to-tonight/600484/22 "2011-10-23T07:49:01Z")
I can’t see a guy getting all dressed up to dump a girl. ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2011, 9:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-my-daughter-is-going-to-get-proposed-to-tonight/600484/23 "2011-10-23T09:34:55Z")
> [@Alessan](#): > > Also, don’t panic when she tells you, like my father did. Our actual conversation: > > Me: Dad, I have some news - we’re getting married! > Dad: To who!? > Me [patiently]: To each other, Dad. \ I got an interesting response from my dad the first time I wanted to bring the guy I was dating home for thanksgiving vacation. When I told him he was in the Navy he was … doubtful. Dad spent 30 years in the Army. :dubious: \ ---
**Author:** ![velvetjones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/5f9b8f/32.png) [@velvetjones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/velvetjones)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2011, 11:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-my-daughter-is-going-to-get-proposed-to-tonight/600484/24 "2011-10-23T11:32:47Z")
No update yet? Now you got me wondering what happened. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2011, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-my-daughter-is-going-to-get-proposed-to-tonight/600484/25 "2011-10-23T16:19:45Z")
> [@PandaBear77](#): > > I can’t see a guy getting all dressed up to dump a girl. A person whom I had been dating for about a year put on a “Surprise, you’re dumped” party for me, with all our friends in attendance. ---
**Author:** ![Ludy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Ludy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludy)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2011, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-my-daughter-is-going-to-get-proposed-to-tonight/600484/26 "2011-10-23T16:31:33Z")
> [@Rhiannon8404](#): > > Probably not. This is an antiquated practice stemming from when women were considered property. My dad told me years ago that if a guy ever ask him for my hand in marriage the answer would be no because he wouldn’t want me to marry a guy who thought I was my father’s to give away. Unless of course I really wanted to marry him anyway…I mean, he wasn’t going to prevent me from marrying a guy just because he had misguided old fashioned ideas if I really wanted to. I agree. I would flat out say no to any guy who talked to my parents before asking me. It’s none of my parents buisness who I marry, and I hate the idea that they would know before I do. Luckily my husband is not the old fashioned type. ---
**Author:** ![MikeG](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mikeg/32/4329_2.png) [@MikeG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MikeG)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2011, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-my-daughter-is-going-to-get-proposed-to-tonight/600484/27 "2011-10-23T16:33:48Z")
> [@Muffin](#): > > A person whom I had been dating for about a year put on a “Surprise, you’re dumped” party for me, with all our friends in attendance. [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/WDgq-K2oYLo/hqdefault.jpg "No! No, man! Shit! No, man!!!") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WDgq-K2oYLo) ---
**Author:** ![Taomist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@Taomist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taomist)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2011, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-my-daughter-is-going-to-get-proposed-to-tonight/600484/28 "2011-10-23T21:15:36Z")
> [@Muffin](#): > > A person whom I had been dating for about a year put on a “Surprise, you’re dumped” party for me, with all our friends in attendance. Holy crap!! That is shitty. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2011, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-my-daughter-is-going-to-get-proposed-to-tonight/600484/29 "2011-10-23T21:50:54Z")
She was well intentioned – just trying to make the break-up as painless as possible. The party was first rate, but the beaking up bit sucked. A for effort but F for execution. BTW, we’re still friends nearly 35 years later. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2011, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-my-daughter-is-going-to-get-proposed-to-tonight/600484/30 "2011-10-23T21:58:03Z")
Wow. “You’re doing it wrong” would have been a massive understatement if she was trying to make it “painless”. Hey! Let’s bring in everyone we know to see your pain and amplify the humiliation! That will make the whole thing a lot easier! ---
**Author:** ![Taomist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@Taomist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taomist)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2011, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-my-daughter-is-going-to-get-proposed-to-tonight/600484/31 "2011-10-23T22:20:06Z")
The only way I can see a party like that truly being well-intentioned is if she had invited a bevy of babes with well-built “shoulders” for you to cry on. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![PandaBear77](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@PandaBear77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PandaBear77)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2011, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-my-daughter-is-going-to-get-proposed-to-tonight/600484/32 "2011-10-23T23:17:28Z")
> [@Ludy](#): > > It’s none of my parents buisness who I marry This blows my mind. Is it their CHOICE who you marry? Of course not. How could it NOT be their business, though, in some ways? You’re their child, they want what’s best for you, why wouldn’t they take an interest in you settling down with the right kind of guy who may end up being the father of their grandchildren? If you brought home a guy that was, in every way, shape, and form, a really bad match (let’s go all out and say, oh, active crack dealer with a rap sheet a mile long) - I’d hope they’d at least say something instead of going “meh. None of our business.” Particularly considering when the marriage falls apart it’s often the parents that end up helping their adult children put their lives back together for a while. This is assuming one has normal parents, of course (and I realize I threw out an extreme example). In the case of toxic parents I can definitely see how it wouldn’t be any of Mom and Dad’s bidness. (It sure as hell wasn’t any of my dad’s business who I married.) ---
**Author:** ![BlinkingDuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eada6e/32.png) [@BlinkingDuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlinkingDuck)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2011, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-my-daughter-is-going-to-get-proposed-to-tonight/600484/33 "2011-10-23T23:49:08Z")
Update. No. My wife and I are flabbergasted. Our theory is he chickened out. He should be nervous. A yes from her isn’t automatic though it probably would be a yes. ---
**Author:** ![Taomist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@Taomist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taomist)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2011, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-my-daughter-is-going-to-get-proposed-to-tonight/600484/34 "2011-10-23T23:52:52Z")
Bah, well maybe next time! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Uosdwis\_R.Dewoh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Uosdwis\_R.Dewoh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uosdwis_R.Dewoh)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2011, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-my-daughter-is-going-to-get-proposed-to-tonight/600484/35 "2011-10-23T23:57:13Z")
> [@Muffin](#): > > A person whom I had been dating for about a year put on a “Surprise, you’re dumped” party for me, with all our friends in attendance. Aside from that, was it a good party? ---
**Author:** ![gwendee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/35a633/32.png) [@gwendee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gwendee)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2011, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-my-daughter-is-going-to-get-proposed-to-tonight/600484/36 "2011-10-24T01:20:59Z")
> [@Rhiannon8404](#): > > If she comes home tonight and says, “Guess what!!!” Don’t guess “You got engaged?!” for two reasons… 1. if it’s true she doesn’t really want you to guess it, she wants to tell you, and 2. it might not have happened and she might be telling you something else. > > Trust me on this. I agree. when I called my uncle (more like my dad) to tell him I was engaged I said “I have news!” Apparently he subscribes to your newsletter because he said, “I know, you got new tires!” It was the right answer. A few years later his son (my cousin who is more like my brother) had been dating a woman we all loved for a while. Whenever he called any of us with news he had to start with “I have news, no I’m not engaged.” the same way the daycare calls and says “This is the daycare. Junior’s fine.” really fast. > [@pulykamell](#): > > I called the dad before I proposed, but it wasn’t to ask for my girlfriend’s hand in marriage, it was just to give him a heads up and to say that I hoped for his blessings. I agree that in this day and age asking for a father’s permission to marry is antiquated and weird, but I still think having a quick chat with pops to tell him what’s what before popping the question is sweet and most fathers will appreciate it. I agree with this. A lot about marriage and weddings is steeped in tradition and this approach is a respectful nod to that. The cousin I just mentioned eventually did propose, but before he did he invited his beloved’s dad to lunch to talk it over with him. Not to ask permission, just to put the idea out there. From the speech her dad gave at their wedding, the fact that he did that seemed to make quite a favorable impression. > [@PandaBear77](#): > > I can’t see a guy getting all dressed up to dump a girl. I thought I had a response to this until I read: > [@Muffin](#): > > A person whom I had been dating for about a year put on a “Surprise, you’re dumped” party for me, with all our friends in attendance. That is severely messed up. All I got was 2 dozen long stemmed roses. ---
**Author:** ![PandaBear77](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@PandaBear77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PandaBear77)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2011, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-my-daughter-is-going-to-get-proposed-to-tonight/600484/37 "2011-10-24T01:32:01Z")
> [@BlinkingDuck](#): > > Update. > > No. > > My wife and I are flabbergasted. Our theory is he chickened out. > > He should be nervous. A yes from her isn’t automatic though it probably would be a yes. Awww! ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2011, 11:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-my-daughter-is-going-to-get-proposed-to-tonight/600484/38 "2011-10-24T11:07:05Z")
> [@gwendee](#): > > I thought I had a response to this until I read: > That is severely messed up. All I got was 2 dozen long stemmed roses. I got dumped over the phone while I was in the hospital with my kidneys shutting down after almost dying … and it wasn’t because Charlie was out of town or anything, he just didn’t feel like doing it in person. :dubious::rolleyes: I got revenge on him though .. he had used the line about staying friends so my buddy Eddie and I invited him to go out bar crawling with us a couple months later after I got out of the hospital. We started at the TGI Fridays, segued into Maxwells Silver Hammer, then ended up a the Liberty Pole, where we sort of abandoned him on the dance floor. Charlie at the time was an absolutely gorgeous sort of long haired surfer dude frat boy, totally wasted and very hetero. Liberty Pole at the time was a fairly aggressive gay dance bar with an interesting back room. Oddly enough we never heard from Charlie ever again … where is the [evil smiley](http://thumbs.dreamstime.com/thumblarge_583/1297829792vkc2mK.jpg) when you need one! ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2011, 11:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-my-daughter-is-going-to-get-proposed-to-tonight/600484/39 "2011-10-24T11:45:29Z")
nm ---
**Author:** ![chela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chela/32/21582_2.png) [@chela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chela)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2011, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-my-daughter-is-going-to-get-proposed-to-tonight/600484/40 "2011-10-24T13:58:10Z")
> [@BlinkingDuck](#): > > Very nervous and dressed up boyfriend in the living room…going to a fancy place. His mother demanded he get a haircut today. > > Somethings up 🙂 > > My daughter, of course, is clueless. Or maybe its me… Mom is still calling the shots on the grooms personal appearance? How young are these crazy kids anyway? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-my-daughter-is-going-to-get-proposed-to-tonight/600484.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-my-daughter-is-going-to-get-proposed-to-tonight/600484.md?page=3)