# I think my pet rock is sick. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 24, 2014, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-my-pet-rock-is-sick/679626 "2014-01-24T16:53:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2014, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-my-pet-rock-is-sick/679626/1 "2014-01-24T16:53:08Z")
Recently, I adopted a pet rock. I named him “Dwayne” after my favorite actor - Dwayne Johnson. Dwayne is a [Gabbro](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gabbro) which is a breed known to be very stable, but still retain some of the volcanic nature that makes them such good guard rocks. Only he hasn’t seemed very volcanic lately. He hasn’t touched his food since I brought him home and I don’t think he’s moved all day. Is this part of a normal adjustment period, or does Dwayne need to go to the geologist? ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2014, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-my-pet-rock-is-sick/679626/2 "2014-01-24T17:06:24Z")
Probably lonely. Did you read up on the requirements of his type before acquiring him? Do you play with him? Take him for walks (drags)? Skim him across the bathtub? I bet you bought him from a store that got him from a ::gasp:: rock quarry, where his formative years were spent in a cage that he never even turned around in. :mad: ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2014, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-my-pet-rock-is-sick/679626/3 "2014-01-24T17:09:59Z")
I 'spect you’re gonna have to get in touch with **Snowboarder Bo** for guidance. I think he needs a last name, too. Dwayne “Rocky” Lane might work. ---
**Author:** ![F.Pu-du-he-pa-as](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c89c15/32.png) [@F.Pu-du-he-pa-as](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/F.Pu-du-he-pa-as)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2014, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-my-pet-rock-is-sick/679626/4 "2014-01-24T17:11:47Z")
What are you feeding Dwayne? Liquid water speeds up chemical erosion, and ice causes physical erosion, especially if it seeps in between the grains. Salt is especially bad, since salt crystals can form in cracks and wedge apart the grains. Chances are, you’re trying to feed your precious Dwayne poison! Instead, you might try giving him a high-temperature solution of silica dissolved in water-- that should fill in any cracks he might have with durable quartz, and help keep him full and happy for a long time to come. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2014, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-my-pet-rock-is-sick/679626/5 "2014-01-24T17:14:21Z")
[Thaidog] I burning your rock! [/Thaidog] Sorry, that wasn’t very gneiss. He may just be a little put off by you participating in a board that is sworn to fighting igneous. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2014, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-my-pet-rock-is-sick/679626/6 "2014-01-24T17:18:03Z")
When you place him on a log, does he just sit there like a rock on a log? Does he get the chills when it is cold outside? Does he have the inclination to get out of your way when you walk over him, or does he just sit there? ---
**Author:** ![ReticulatingSplines](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e274bd/32.png) [@ReticulatingSplines](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ReticulatingSplines)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2014, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-my-pet-rock-is-sick/679626/7 "2014-01-24T17:19:35Z")
He’s too cold and has entered a state of hibernation. Get him a heat lamp and he’ll be active again. 1200 degrees C should suffice. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2014, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-my-pet-rock-is-sick/679626/8 "2014-01-24T17:21:17Z")
> [@ReticulatingSplines](#): > > He’s too cold and has entered a state of hibernation. Get him a heat lamp and he’ll be active again. 1200 degrees C should suffice. Bad advice!! I tried that, and my poor Rocky got the runs bad. ---
**Author:** ![johnpost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f17d59/32.png) [@johnpost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/johnpost)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2014, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-my-pet-rock-is-sick/679626/9 "2014-01-24T17:23:54Z")
he wishes he was a sedimentary rock. ---
**Author:** ![ReticulatingSplines](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e274bd/32.png) [@ReticulatingSplines](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ReticulatingSplines)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2014, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-my-pet-rock-is-sick/679626/10 "2014-01-24T17:25:10Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > Bad advice!! I tried that, and my poor Rocky got the runs bad. Let me guess: He was never quite the same after that. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2014, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-my-pet-rock-is-sick/679626/11 "2014-01-24T17:40:21Z")
^ Complete metamorphosis. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2014, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-my-pet-rock-is-sick/679626/12 "2014-01-24T17:50:23Z")
It doesn’t sound good to me. Pet rocks should be bright and perky, not dull and sedimentary. Do you have a regular clinical geologist that you can take him to? If not, you can call a vet’s office and they should be happy to give you a referral. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2014, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-my-pet-rock-is-sick/679626/13 "2014-01-24T17:51:35Z")
It’s a tuff problem. Rocks live so much slower than us that it takes careful observation to determine what they’re doing: whether they’re in mid-motion jumping up to greet you, whether they’re running away from or lunging at someone, or whether they’re simply asleep. ---
**Author:** ![randompattern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7993a0/32.png) [@randompattern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/randompattern)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2014, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-my-pet-rock-is-sick/679626/14 "2014-01-24T18:15:51Z")
Perhaps Dwayne had offspring before you got him and he’s missing his adorable little pebbles. ---
**Author:** ![Vita\_Beata](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/a9a28c/32.png) [@Vita\_Beata](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vita_Beata)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2014, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-my-pet-rock-is-sick/679626/15 "2014-01-24T18:21:37Z")
ArmedMonkey, Make sure your rock doesn’t feel like you are taking him for granite. ---
**Author:** ![Aquadementia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aquadementia/32/555_2.png) [@Aquadementia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aquadementia)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2014, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-my-pet-rock-is-sick/679626/16 "2014-01-24T18:35:53Z")
It’s not unusual for rocks to display that kind of sedentary behavior. If you want him to be frisky you should think about moving to a more seismically active location. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2014, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-my-pet-rock-is-sick/679626/17 "2014-01-24T19:00:19Z")
My biggest problem with Rocky is getting a properly fitted collar. He keeps slipping his and jumping through windows. ---
**Author:** ![Enola\_Gay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/3ab097/32.png) [@Enola\_Gay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enola_Gay)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2014, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-my-pet-rock-is-sick/679626/18 "2014-01-24T20:01:32Z")
Have you given him a drug test? He sounds stoned. ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2014, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-my-pet-rock-is-sick/679626/19 "2014-01-24T20:05:56Z")
Give Dwayne an electric guitar and a Marshall Stack. ---
**Author:** ![Molotok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecd19e/32.png) [@Molotok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Molotok)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2014, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-my-pet-rock-is-sick/679626/20 "2014-01-24T20:10:25Z")
Sounds like he needs to harden up. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-my-pet-rock-is-sick/679626.md?page=2)