# I think "Respect Your Elders" shouldn't apply to this old coot. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 22, 2016, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-respect-your-elders-shouldnt-apply-to-this-old-coot/775407 "2016-12-22T23:42:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2016, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-respect-your-elders-shouldnt-apply-to-this-old-coot/775407/21 "2016-12-23T14:02:47Z")
> [@Bryan\_Ekers](#): > > We can speculate on various forms of dementia, but sometimes a cigar-seeking jerk is just a cigar-seeking jerk. And sometimes they’re not. You at least need to take that possibility into account and not make a knee-jerk assumption like the OP did. ---
**Author:** ![Azeotrope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/0ea827/32.png) [@Azeotrope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Azeotrope)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2016, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-respect-your-elders-shouldnt-apply-to-this-old-coot/775407/22 "2016-12-23T14:09:07Z")
> [@elbows](#): > > You’ve heard of Karma, right? > > Being unnecessarily judgmental of the odd actions of a disturbed senior smells like inviting a life lesson into your world, to me. Like the universe almost feels obligated to give you some first hand experience with this illness, so you actually can _understand_. > > It might be wise to pay at least a little regard to the type learning you’re clearly begging the universe to deliver to your life, I should think. > > At any rate, I highly recommend; less judgy, more lovey! That last line broke my irony meter :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![campp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@campp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/campp)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2016, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-respect-your-elders-shouldnt-apply-to-this-old-coot/775407/23 "2016-12-23T14:09:39Z")
My FIL had dementia at age 90, and he wanted his cigars. I’d buy them for him, and he would always ask what they cost. I’d tell him, and he would blow a gasket! “No, just get the 5c ones, in the jar by the register”, he would scream at me. ---
**Author:** ![Azeotrope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/0ea827/32.png) [@Azeotrope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Azeotrope)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2016, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-respect-your-elders-shouldnt-apply-to-this-old-coot/775407/24 "2016-12-23T14:27:36Z")
> [@Martini\_Enfield](#): > > I’m not sure where everyone’s getting the Alzheimers theory from. I’ve worked in retail before and cantankerous old people are not an unusual encounter. Having said that, neither are cranky or entitled younger folks. I’ve spent the past 20-ish years dealing with the general public in one job or another, and can usually tell the ordinary crabby old farts (fr’ex the woman who shouted at me **“THOSE ARE NOT CLOTHES!!!”** because they weren’t the sort of thing she wanted) from the ones with dementia (fr’ex, the one who screamed that he was gonna get me fired because I told him my name isn’t Nadine). ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2016, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-respect-your-elders-shouldnt-apply-to-this-old-coot/775407/25 "2016-12-23T14:56:25Z")
As an old(er) person, I say we don’t get a free pass. If we’re being assholes, tell us to shut up. Or maybe just say “Quiet down or Big Sven from Security will escort you out.” Or you can bite your tongue and vent to a messageboard. That’d be my plan… “I am gonna be pitting this guy SO hard…” I don’t think it’s an either/or. I think we can be understanding and maybe find out why they’re acting up and try to be patient… AND call them on being a jerk. ---
**Author:** ![Biotop](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biotop/32/321_2.png) [@Biotop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biotop)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2016, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-respect-your-elders-shouldnt-apply-to-this-old-coot/775407/26 "2016-12-23T15:29:43Z")
Most everyone who works with the public learns quickly that there are a fairly large number of difficult people out there. They are difficult for a variety of reasons. The best thing to do is just smile and in moments they are out of your life. Someone else probably has to deal with them on a full-time basis. One of our jobs as non-difficult people is to spread smiles and tolerance as much as possible. ---
**Author:** ![Damuri\_Ajashi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/898d66/32.png) [@Damuri\_Ajashi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Damuri_Ajashi)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2016, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-respect-your-elders-shouldnt-apply-to-this-old-coot/775407/27 "2016-12-23T16:21:16Z")
> [@Brodi](#): > > When I was at the store this afternoon I got to watch a senior citizen acting like a toddler. > > The man and his wife looked to be in their 70s-80s and they both came into the store hunched over using canes. The wife went shopping and the man stopped by the registers. > > “IS ANYONE GOING TO HELP ME!?” He screams several times, getting louder and louder with each repetition. > > It is crazy loud and busy in there and he stays standing a ways from any bagger or cashier, so of course they don’t hear him till he is practically shouting. A bagger (teenage girl) goes to see what he wants. > > “I WANT SOME OF THOSE CIGARS, GODAMMIT!” > > So, no fire, no medical emergency. Just an old toddler wanting his cigarettes. :rolleyes: I understand that dementia can totally destroy a person’s “social filters”, but still, it sounded like a toddler “I WANT THAT CANDY/TOY/THING!” He doesn’t have a lot of time left. he can’t be standing around waiting for someone to get him his cigars godammit. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2016, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-respect-your-elders-shouldnt-apply-to-this-old-coot/775407/28 "2016-12-23T17:43:03Z")
> [@Biotop](#): > > Most everyone who works with the public learns quickly that there are a fairly large number of difficult people out there. They are difficult for a variety of reasons. The best thing to do is just smile and in moments they are out of your life. Someone else probably has to deal with them on a full-time basis. I used to say this all the time when I worked in fast food. “At least we only have to put up with him for five minutes. Somebody else has to live with him.” ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2016, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-respect-your-elders-shouldnt-apply-to-this-old-coot/775407/29 "2016-12-23T17:59:51Z")
And he has to live with himself all the time. ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2016, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-respect-your-elders-shouldnt-apply-to-this-old-coot/775407/30 "2016-12-23T20:11:38Z")
> [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](#): > > I’ll bet his cigars are delivered by scantily clad women who bring them straight from Havana. I WANT ONE OF THOSE CIGARS, DAMMIT!!! [sub]screamed Doctor Jackson, who has been out of his mind since he came out of the womb[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2016, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-respect-your-elders-shouldnt-apply-to-this-old-coot/775407/31 "2016-12-23T20:21:27Z")
Bet it was Walmart. Had to be Walmart. Where the effing hell was the greeter? ---
**Author:** ![Brodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/cc9497/32.png) [@Brodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brodi)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2016, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-respect-your-elders-shouldnt-apply-to-this-old-coot/775407/32 "2016-12-24T00:11:20Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > **Brodi:** Nothing that guy said or did was as offensive as your OP. If you can’t have a little compassion for someone who may have problems you’re unaware of, I pity you. How is my post offensive? A man entered a store and started yelling at already harried employees. What problems gives the man the right to yell at people? > [@elbows](#): > > You’ve heard of Karma, right? > > Being unnecessarily judgmental of the odd actions of a disturbed senior smells like inviting a life lesson into your world, to me. Like the universe almost feels obligated to give you some first hand experience with this illness, so you actually can _understand_. > > It might be wise to pay at least a little regard to the type learning you’re clearly begging the universe to deliver to your life, I should think. > > At any rate, I highly recommend; less judgy, more lovey! The “disturbed” senior’s actions weren’t “odd”, the were assholish! Yes, I’ve had first hand experiance with the condition. My own grandmother died from it! He wasn’t acting confused, he walked into the building, went to the tobacco case and yelled out what he wanted. > [@Morgenstern](#): > > Bet it was Walmart. Had to be Walmart. Where the effing hell was the greeter? Almost correct. It was my state’s version of Walmart. Basically a marginally more expenssive Walmart. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2016, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-respect-your-elders-shouldnt-apply-to-this-old-coot/775407/33 "2016-12-24T00:40:32Z")
So your Walmart-that-isn’t-a-Walmart has displays of cigars? But locked so crazed grandpas don’t start chewing on them? I’m trying to picture what kind of store it is where Granny can say “I’ll be in the Ladies’ Lingerie and Jigsaw Puzzle department. You just stand here quietly and watch these boxes of cigars rotate behind bulletproof glass”. ---
**Author:** ![Calico\_Jack](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calico_jack/32/7320_2.png) [@Calico\_Jack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Calico_Jack)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2016, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-respect-your-elders-shouldnt-apply-to-this-old-coot/775407/34 "2016-12-24T00:43:21Z")
> [@Brodi](#): > > When I was at the store this afternoon I got to watch a senior citizen acting like a toddler. > > The man and his wife looked to be in their 70s-80s and they both came into the store hunched over using canes. The wife went shopping and the man stopped by the registers. > > “IS ANYONE GOING TO HELP ME!?” He screams several times, getting louder and louder with each repetition. > > It is crazy loud and busy in there and he stays standing a ways from any bagger or cashier, so of course they don’t hear him till he is practically shouting. A bagger (teenage girl) goes to see what he wants. > > “I WANT SOME OF THOSE CIGARS, GODAMMIT!” > > So, no fire, no medical emergency. Just an old toddler wanting his cigarettes. :rolleyes: I understand that dementia can totally destroy a person’s “social filters”, but still, it sounded like a toddler “I WANT THAT CANDY/TOY/THING!” Well he probably had Alzheimer’s so not sure you can hold him personally accountable. ---
**Author:** ![Calico\_Jack](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calico_jack/32/7320_2.png) [@Calico\_Jack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Calico_Jack)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2016, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-respect-your-elders-shouldnt-apply-to-this-old-coot/775407/35 "2016-12-24T00:44:21Z")
> [@Morgenstern](#): > > Bet it was Walmart. Had to be Walmart. Where the effing hell was the greeter? Walmart cut the greeters awhile back to save costs. ---
**Author:** ![Fiveroptic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fiveroptic/32/8257_2.png) [@Fiveroptic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fiveroptic)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2016, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-respect-your-elders-shouldnt-apply-to-this-old-coot/775407/36 "2016-12-24T00:48:46Z")
> [@Calico\_Jack](#): > > Walmart cut the greeters awhile back to save costs. No they didn’t. They still have them during peak hours. ---
**Author:** ![Martini\_Enfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/martini_enfield/32/11123_2.png) [@Martini\_Enfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martini_Enfield)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2016, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-respect-your-elders-shouldnt-apply-to-this-old-coot/775407/37 "2016-12-24T01:46:18Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > I would hope that people might bear this in mind when dealing with the elderly. Perhaps the OP (and you) might learn something from the responses to this thread. This is one of the things that really irritates me about this place sometimes. Being mildly annoyed by the unusual or disruptive behaviour of a stranger and venting about it online seems like a pretty unremarkable thing to do. But no, apparently it’s been decided that the elderly gentleman in question has some sort of health issue and therefore the OP is a horrible judgemental asshole for not politely smiling and nodding and carrying on with their day, regardless of the fact they disapproved of the situation. Would you all have preferred the version where the OP picked the lock on the cigar cabinet for the old man and filled his pockets with fine tobacco? And FWIW, I’ve got plenty of experience dealing with the elderly. I worked in retail for more than a decade. I’m an experienced journalist who has done a _lot_ of stories about elderly folks and elder issues. I have elderly parents and relatives. I don’t live in the _Logan’s Run_ universe. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2016, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-respect-your-elders-shouldnt-apply-to-this-old-coot/775407/38 "2016-12-24T01:49:46Z")
> [@Morgenstern](#): > > Bet it was Walmart. Had to be Walmart. Where the effing hell was the greeter? He WAS the greeter. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Brodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/cc9497/32.png) [@Brodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brodi)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2016, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-respect-your-elders-shouldnt-apply-to-this-old-coot/775407/39 "2016-12-24T03:28:24Z")
> [@Martini\_Enfield](#): > > This is one of the things that really irritates me about this place sometimes. Being mildly annoyed by the unusual or disruptive behaviour of a stranger and venting about it online seems like a pretty unremarkable thing to do. But no, apparently it’s been decided that the elderly gentleman in question has some sort of health issue and therefore the OP is a horrible judgemental asshole for not politely smiling and nodding and carrying on with their day, regardless of the fact they disapproved of the situation. > > Would you all have preferred the version where the OP picked the lock on the cigar cabinet for the old man and filled his pockets with fine tobacco? > > And FWIW, I’ve got plenty of experience dealing with the elderly. I worked in retail for more than a decade. I’m an experienced journalist who has done a _lot_ of stories about elderly folks and elder issues. I have elderly parents and relatives. I don’t live in the _Logan’s Run_ universe. The voice of reason, thank you. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2016, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-respect-your-elders-shouldnt-apply-to-this-old-coot/775407/40 "2016-12-24T04:37:18Z")
I can guarantee you that the employees have dealt with much, much worse than some old dude yelling that he wants his smokes. At the very worse, it’s probably something they’d laugh about back in the break room. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-respect-your-elders-shouldnt-apply-to-this-old-coot/775407.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-respect-your-elders-shouldnt-apply-to-this-old-coot/775407.md?page=3)