# I think the Iraqi Information Minister is a pisser **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 5, 2003, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-the-iraqi-information-minister-is-a-pisser/166684 "2003-04-05T15:57:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![stuyguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@stuyguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stuyguy)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2003, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-the-iraqi-information-minister-is-a-pisser/166684/1 "2003-04-05T15:57:19Z")
As much as it galls me to say it, I can’t get enough of of that Iraqi Information Minister guy – the Saddam mouthpiece with the uniform and berret who peppers his statements with references to the Coalition forces as “bastards,” and “losers” and who describes impending battlefields as our “cemeteries.” Every time I catch him while flipping the channels I can’t help but watch. Unlike all the other grumbling, sourpuss Iraqi representatives (eg. their grouchy UN rep with the bad comb-over) this guy seems to at least be making the best of a bad situation and having fun with his job. He seems to get a real kick out of coming up with colorful digs and insults about us. He can hardly keep from cracking up as he invents new and colorful ways to belittle us as he blathers on about fictional Iraqi battlefield victories. Does anyone else find this guy as much fun as I do? ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2003, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-the-iraqi-information-minister-is-a-pisser/166684/2 "2003-04-05T16:03:28Z")
You have to admire a guy who can keep a straight face while saying those sorts of things. And if I’m going to watch a politician lie to me, I’d rather watch one who does it in as obvious a manner as possible. ---
**Author:** ![Tansu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/67e7ee/32.png) [@Tansu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tansu)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2003, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-the-iraqi-information-minister-is-a-pisser/166684/3 "2003-04-05T16:18:51Z")
He can _just barely_ keep a straight face. During his “Then, right, then we took the airport, expelled the emeny troops and cleaned the area” briefing, his delivery was almost that of an old-fashioned end-of-the-pier comic. ---
**Author:** ![peepthis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9d8465/32.png) [@peepthis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/peepthis)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2003, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-the-iraqi-information-minister-is-a-pisser/166684/4 "2003-04-05T17:03:33Z")
I got a kick out of what the [Iraqi VP had to say the other day](http://www.msnbc.com/news/895116.asp?cp1=1), in response to the Saudi Foreign Minister recommeding Saddam step down. The VP (Ramadan) called Saudi Prince Saud “a minion and a lackey,” adding, “You loser, you are too small to talk to the leader of Iraq. … You failure, go to hell." How’s that for diplomacy? ---
**Author:** ![Stratocaster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stratocaster/32/16393_2.png) [@Stratocaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stratocaster)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2003, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-the-iraqi-information-minister-is-a-pisser/166684/5 "2003-04-05T17:16:45Z")
I absolutely agree, he’s a pisser. My wife and I watch his news conferences and do bad imitations. “Foolish infidels! You think the criminal Americans have achieved victory at the airport? Hah! Now they are stuck there eating $11 airport sandwiches. And they’re not even very good sandwiches. You ever been stuck at the airport? We have the vile infidels right where we want them! Allah be praised!” ---
**Author:** ![Ximenean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/aca169/32.png) [@Ximenean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ximenean)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2003, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-the-iraqi-information-minister-is-a-pisser/166684/6 "2003-04-05T18:39:03Z")
I wonder what happened to his sidekick (the guy with the chrome-plated Kalashnikov)? They were a great double act. Did you see how they were holding hands during their press conference? ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2003, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-the-iraqi-information-minister-is-a-pisser/166684/7 "2003-04-06T18:57:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Bob Cos \* > \*\*“Foolish infidels! You think the criminal Americans have achieved victory at the airport? Hah! Now they are stuck there eating $11 airport sandwiches. And they’re not even very good sandwiches. You ever been stuck at the airport? We have the vile infidels right where we want them! Allah be praised!” \*\* 😃 When this Information Minister thing falls through, I bet he could get a job at Comedy Central. Couldn’t you just imagine him hosting _Politically Incorrect_? ---
**Author:** ![MetalDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecb155/32.png) [@MetalDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MetalDog)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2003, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-the-iraqi-information-minister-is-a-pisser/166684/8 "2003-04-06T19:17:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Usram \* > \*\*I wonder what happened to his sidekick (the guy with the chrome-plated Kalashnikov)? They were a great double act. Did you see how they were holding hands during their press conference? \*\* Just as an aside, it’s fairly common for friends to hold hands in the middle-east. My ex boyfriend went out there to do some work on radar systems and he said the air traffic controllers who were buddies were often holding hands while they worked. I thought that was kind of nice. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2003, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-the-iraqi-information-minister-is-a-pisser/166684/9 "2003-04-06T19:20:00Z")
And off we go to the BBQ Pit. ---
**Author:** ![samarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4da419/32.png) [@samarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samarm)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2003, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-the-iraqi-information-minister-is-a-pisser/166684/10 "2003-04-06T19:30:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Usram \* > \*\*I wonder what happened to his sidekick (the guy with the chrome-plated Kalashnikov)? They were a great double act. Did you see how they were holding hands during their press conference? \*\* That press conference cracked me up! Did you see them cracking little jokes to each other? And did you notice the sidekick with the chrome AK47 had his fucking finger ON THE TRIGGER? I would like to think he had the sense to put the safety on, but I’m not convinced. Every time I see an Iraqi press conference it just gives me more confidence that their regime will crumble sooner rather than later. ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2003, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-the-iraqi-information-minister-is-a-pisser/166684/11 "2003-04-06T19:39:59Z")
“I want to tell the world that these criminals and this international gang of villains deserve to be beaten with shoes!” I don’t know why, but that 'beaten with shoes" part just cracks me up. Let me try my hand at Minister of Information speech writing:\* Coalition aggressors should be given a time-out and made to stand in a corner! Look at that mess those American infidels left at the airport. They should have their faces rubbed into it and then smacked soundly on the nose with a newspaper! \* I like this quote made when Coalition forces overtook the port city of Umm Qasr: > [@](#): > > This is silly talk. Umm Qasr is an Iraqi port and is going to remain an Iraqi port. It will be hard for them to take it. . .I realised that they (U.S.) distributed a video tape that appeared to show their tanks advancing into Iraq and their troops appearing to take Iraqi prisoners. These are not Iraqi soldiers. From [here.](http://www.gulf-news.com/Articles/news.asp?ArticleID=81566) \*Those gangsters do not have the heart to attack our noble country! Those bombs falling are _not_ coalition bombs but are in fact gifts to the Iraqi people from your glorious leader Saddam. \* ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2003, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-the-iraqi-information-minister-is-a-pisser/166684/12 "2003-04-06T19:41:46Z")
Let me clarify-- the stuff in italics didn’t actually come from the Iraqi Minister of Misinformation. ---
**Author:** ![Rayne\_Man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/df705f/32.png) [@Rayne\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rayne_Man)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2003, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-the-iraqi-information-minister-is-a-pisser/166684/13 "2003-04-06T19:45:50Z")
perhaps he is living in a parallel universe and, in his world, the airport is still in Iraqi hands and the US troops are a hundred miles away and going south. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![samarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4da419/32.png) [@samarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samarm)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2003, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-the-iraqi-information-minister-is-a-pisser/166684/14 "2003-04-06T19:48:11Z")
Official Iraqi Policy: BLATANTLY DENY EVERYTHING, REGARDLESS. ---
**Author:** ![Payton\_s\_Servant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3da27b/32.png) [@Payton\_s\_Servant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Payton_s_Servant)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2003, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-the-iraqi-information-minister-is-a-pisser/166684/15 "2003-04-06T20:33:52Z")
Yeah, he’s pretty good, but for my money you can’t beat the Iranian clerics who lvingly refer to the United States as THE GREATEST OF ALL SATANS!!! Can’t beat that. ---
**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2003, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-the-iraqi-information-minister-is-a-pisser/166684/16 "2003-04-06T20:37:35Z")
Let’s face it … we’re just jealous. We Americans aren’t just good at bombastic statements. I wonder what would happen if the Americans had press briefings, and made similar statements … _Those smelly Saddam armpit-kissing 'raquis have breathed their last. Baghdad will be their graveyard! They are running towards our mighty soldiers like lemmings, pleading for their miserable lives! May Christ Jesus be praised!_ “Foolish infidels! You think the criminal Americans have achieved victory at the airport? Hah! Now they are stuck there eating $11 airport sandwiches. And they’re not even very good sandwiches. You ever been stuck at the airport? We have the vile infidels right where we want them! Allah be praised!” \* ---
**Author:** ![Pathros\_1983](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/53a042/32.png) [@Pathros\_1983](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pathros_1983)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2003, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-the-iraqi-information-minister-is-a-pisser/166684/17 "2003-04-06T20:57:08Z")
> [@](#): > > “I want to tell the world that these criminals and this international gang of villains deserve to be beaten with shoes!” > > I don’t know why, but that 'beaten with shoes" part just cracks me up. I just imagine the incident with Mikhel Kruschev (yes I probably butchered the spelling of that name) at the UN meets the daily show with John Stewart. I thought it was particularly funny when he mentioned the Iraqi forces slaughtering the Americans then saying “oh I’ll be happy to show you, just let us clean it up first.” ---
**Author:** ![Pathros\_1983](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/53a042/32.png) [@Pathros\_1983](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pathros_1983)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2003, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-the-iraqi-information-minister-is-a-pisser/166684/18 "2003-04-06T20:59:57Z")
If you scroll down and look on the left in the “side box,” you’ll see a rather hilarious picture (IMHO) of the information minister: [http://www.cnn.com/2003/WORLD/meast/04/06/sprj.irq.war.main/index.html](http://www.cnn.com/2003/WORLD/meast/04/06/sprj.irq.war.main/index.html) ---
**Author:** ![Brutus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@Brutus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brutus)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2003, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-the-iraqi-information-minister-is-a-pisser/166684/19 "2003-04-06T21:13:04Z")
I bet Baghdad Bob finds employement here in the 'States after the war. I can see him as a spokeman for PETA… (“Eating of the beef makes your brains turn to infidel mush. This has been proven by our scientists. I will show you this afternoon!”) ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2003, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-the-iraqi-information-minister-is-a-pisser/166684/20 "2003-04-06T21:19:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Pathros\_1983 \* > \*\*I just imagine the incident with Mikhel Kruschev (yes I probably butchered the spelling of that name) … \*\* You didn’t butcher the part you got right. Nikita Kruschev (or Krushchev). I wonder if the shoe thing is an old Iraqi tradition. I remember early on seeing video of an Iraqi in the south beating on a poster of Hussein with his shoe. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-the-iraqi-information-minister-is-a-pisser/166684.md?page=2)