# I think Willy Wonka was Wrong to Pick Charlie to Run the Chocolate Factory **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 28, 2006, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-willy-wonka-was-wrong-to-pick-charlie-to-run-the-chocolate-factory/350274 "2006-03-28T18:39:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![mobo85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@mobo85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mobo85)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-willy-wonka-was-wrong-to-pick-charlie-to-run-the-chocolate-factory/350274/41 "2006-03-29T19:37:21Z")
> [@Diceman](#): > > Also, I don’t remember the book mentioning anything about Slugworth stealing Wonka’s secrets. I believe there were three names of rival candymakers mentioned in the book which stole secrets from Wonka- Slugworth, Ficklegruber, and one other one. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Hamster\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8edcca/32.png) [@The\_Hamster\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Hamster_King)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-willy-wonka-was-wrong-to-pick-charlie-to-run-the-chocolate-factory/350274/42 "2006-03-29T20:23:20Z")
No … [Summer](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1388927/) should run the chocolate factory … even if she is a grade-grubber … . ---
**Author:** ![Unintentionally\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unintentionally_blank/32/5418_2.png) [@Unintentionally\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unintentionally_Blank)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2006, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-willy-wonka-was-wrong-to-pick-charlie-to-run-the-chocolate-factory/350274/43 "2006-03-30T00:59:13Z")
I’m just wondering who’d WANT to spend time with Michael Jacks, er, Neo-Wonka. Honestly, I wish Hollywood would leave well enough alone. ---
**Author:** ![RobuSensei](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/919ad9/32.png) [@RobuSensei](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RobuSensei)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2006, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-willy-wonka-was-wrong-to-pick-charlie-to-run-the-chocolate-factory/350274/44 "2006-03-30T01:49:46Z")
Hmm. Well, according to [an article at Something Awful](http://www.somethingawful.com/articles.php?a=2249), Charlie has a lot more business acumen than y’all think… > [@](#): > > Ladies, gentlemen, Oompa Loompa’s, thank you all for coming today. As many of you may know the esteemed Mr. Wonka has decided to hand sole ownership of his candy production facility over to me. Mr. Wonka believed that because I was a child I would be naïve and continue to do things around here in the whimsical and shockingly inefficient manner he has. I am here to say that things are not going to be the same at all. After speaking with Mr. Wonka’s accountant I have come to discover that the factory here is rarely operating in the black. In fact, Mr. Wonka has basically saddled me with years of debt caused by some of the ridiculous expenses involved in producing our candy here. ---
**Author:** ![Leaper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/4bbf92/32.png) [@Leaper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaper)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2006, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-willy-wonka-was-wrong-to-pick-charlie-to-run-the-chocolate-factory/350274/45 "2006-03-30T02:21:59Z")
> [@RobuSensei](#): > > Hmm. Well, according to [an article at Something Awful](http://www.somethingawful.com/articles.php?a=2249), Charlie has a lot more business acumen than y’all think… I wonder if it was written before or after that SNL sketch that’s come up at least twice… ---
**Author:** ![Guy\_Incongnito](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4af34b/32.png) [@Guy\_Incongnito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guy_Incongnito)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2006, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-willy-wonka-was-wrong-to-pick-charlie-to-run-the-chocolate-factory/350274/46 "2006-04-29T13:09:10Z")
> [@Diogenes the Cynic](#): > > No, Charlie’s main qualification was that he was _honest_. He was chosen because he was the only kid who wouldn’t sell the gobstopper. If he hadn’t returned the gobstopper, he would have been rejected, poor or not. In fact, he already _had_ been rejected. Oh, Mike Teavee, one day you will realize that entertainment exists in forms other than the visual. ---
**Author:** ![flurb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/51bf81/32.png) [@flurb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flurb)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2006, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-willy-wonka-was-wrong-to-pick-charlie-to-run-the-chocolate-factory/350274/47 "2006-04-29T23:59:31Z")
Look at it this way. Given the suspiciously secretive nature of his enterprise, Wonka has to have any number of regulatory agencies trying to pry into this operations. Besides the already mentioned appauling labor conditions, he’s also demonstrated a gross disregard for food safety regulations (that open-air lake of lukewarm chocolate is a breeding ground for bacteria), basic R&D safety protocols (Mike and Violet have no problem getting into the middle of experiments in progress), and animal welfare standards (employing squirrels to sort nuts, under God-only-knows what kind of conditions). Also, that he’s been able to foot the bill to construct and maintain an elaborate, whimsical wonderland, when we know that he operates in a cutthroat candybar market that must have razor-thin profit margins, leads me to believe he’s probably got a revenue stream or two that the taxman doesn’t know about. My bet is that he’s tumbled to the fact that he’s two steps ahead of an indictment, and the Golden Ticket campaign was created for two purposes. First, as a pre-emptive PR campaign to get the public on his side when the feds come crashing through the front gate. Second, to identify the perfect patsy to install at the head of the company for when it hits the fan. Charlie’s honest, a bit naieve, not particularly bright, and loyal to a fault. Wonka will pin everything on him. And while Charlie’s doing a dime in the pokey, Wonka will reluctantly come out of retirement to “clean up the mess” that his successor made of his beloved company. Ken Lay would be proud. ---
**Author:** ![Taber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ac91a4/32.png) [@Taber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taber)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2006, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-willy-wonka-was-wrong-to-pick-charlie-to-run-the-chocolate-factory/350274/48 "2006-04-30T01:15:13Z")
> [@Scupper](#): > > the vermicious knids Band name ---
**Author:** ![NDP](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ndp/32/55_2.png) [@NDP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NDP)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2006, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-willy-wonka-was-wrong-to-pick-charlie-to-run-the-chocolate-factory/350274/49 "2006-04-30T01:36:01Z")
> [@Scupper](#): > > the vermicious knids > [@Taber](#): > > Band name [Done](http://www.allmusic.com/cg/amg.dll?p=amg&token=ADFEAEE4781BDE4BAF7420E8B30869E89A26AB5BFE66C2AD37146F1BFF9A1C54942C5DF85EFB9D88FDFE6AB670B0FD2EA45C43DAC0ED55F6DF652D5DF0&searchlink=VERMICIOUS&samples=1&sql=11:rzjxlfke0cqu~T0) ---
**Author:** ![HPL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3da27b/32.png) [@HPL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HPL)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2006, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-willy-wonka-was-wrong-to-pick-charlie-to-run-the-chocolate-factory/350274/50 "2006-04-30T04:23:15Z")
> [@flurb](#): > > Look at it this way. Given the suspiciously secretive nature of his enterprise, Wonka has to have any number of regulatory agencies trying to pry into this operations. Besides the already mentioned appauling labor conditions, he’s also demonstrated a gross disregard for food safety regulations (that open-air lake of lukewarm chocolate is a breeding ground for bacteria), basic R&D safety protocols (Mike and Violet have no problem getting into the middle of experiments in progress), and animal welfare standards (employing squirrels to sort nuts, under God-only-knows what kind of conditions). Not to mention most of the kids barely got out of there alive…and I doubt certain government agencies would approve of chocolate being sold that a kid nearly(?) drowned in.(“I want you to go up there and poke around in the chocolate with a stick”) ---
**Author:** ![Crowbar\_of\_Irony\_3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f08c70/32.png) [@Crowbar\_of\_Irony\_3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crowbar_of_Irony_3)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2006, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-willy-wonka-was-wrong-to-pick-charlie-to-run-the-chocolate-factory/350274/51 "2006-04-30T14:03:37Z")
I have no idea where in the world is my copy of the book, but I thought the reason why Willy Wonka picked Charlie is because he listened to instructions? Willy just wanted a kid who would listen to what he says, I guess. ---
**Author:** ![bobkitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c67d28/32.png) [@bobkitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobkitty)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2006, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-willy-wonka-was-wrong-to-pick-charlie-to-run-the-chocolate-factory/350274/52 "2006-04-30T14:43:52Z")
> [@ExtraKun](#): > > I have no idea where in the world is my copy of the book, but I thought the reason why Willy Wonka picked Charlie is because he listened to instructions? Willy just wanted a kid who would listen to what he says, I guess. At the end of the Wilder version, Wonka specifically says he could never get an adult to run the company because they would want to do it their way; he intentionally went hunting for a kid that would do things the Wonka way. So, yes, he wanted someone he could mold into his own image, who wouldn’t think for himself, who would be the perfect mini-Wonka. [rough paraphrase]“Bring the child up in the way that he should go and he shall not depart from it…”[/rp] ---
**Author:** ![hawksgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ed655f/32.png) [@hawksgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hawksgirl)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2006, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-willy-wonka-was-wrong-to-pick-charlie-to-run-the-chocolate-factory/350274/53 "2006-04-30T23:03:02Z")
> [@Taber](#): > > Band name Hey, I wouldn’t mind a factory run by [Veruca Salt](http://www.verucasalt.com/) . Chocolate enfused with the power of music? Genius!! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-think-willy-wonka-was-wrong-to-pick-charlie-to-run-the-chocolate-factory/350274.md?page=2)