# I thought I was a newbie, but Noooo! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 6, 2005, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-thought-i-was-a-newbie-but-noooo/298065 "2005-04-06T17:47:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2005, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-thought-i-was-a-newbie-but-noooo/298065/41 "2005-04-08T17:04:33Z")
Oh. My. Og. Is it too late to do imprinting on it? And where _is_ this place? ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2005, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-thought-i-was-a-newbie-but-noooo/298065/42 "2005-04-08T17:12:08Z")
**Daithi** , are you saying that thing was a _chick!!!_ :eek: [sub]Figures. The only time in my life I have a chick chasing after me, it’s a murderous mutant duck…[/sub] I don’t know where this place is. But it’s a hell of a lot better than being trapped in the Initation Complex. We have to get **sneezy** out of there. :: Following **Kythereia** , **Sunspace** returns to the room. :: Just don’t close that door… there’s some damned strange stuff going on around here, and who knows whether this valley will still be accessible next time someone opens it? ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2005, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-thought-i-was-a-newbie-but-noooo/298065/43 "2005-04-08T17:21:38Z")
Well, in for a penny, in for a pound… _checks to make sure the door is still wedged, and heads upstairs_ Hey - where’d **Kythereia** get arrows? ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2005, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-thought-i-was-a-newbie-but-noooo/298065/44 "2005-04-08T17:22:59Z")
**Daithi** –maybe you’ve met my son, Cupid? 😉 _hurtles to a stop_ Everybody duck! It’s coming this way! ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2005, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-thought-i-was-a-newbie-but-noooo/298065/45 "2005-04-08T17:31:58Z")
::Runs in through door brandishing his shiny new axe:: PREPARE TO DIE, FOUL BEAST! ::Charges at “the Duck”:: Escape now! I’ve got a plan! [SIZE=1] shit… what was that plan again? [SIZE] ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2005, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-thought-i-was-a-newbie-but-noooo/298065/46 "2005-04-08T17:37:14Z")
::Runs in through door brandishing his shiny new axe:: PREPARE TO DIE, FOUL BEAST! ::Charges at “the Duck”:: Escape now! I’ve got a plan! [SIZE=1] shit… what was that plan again? [SIZE] ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2005, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-thought-i-was-a-newbie-but-noooo/298065/47 "2005-04-08T17:41:53Z")
::Avoids a blow from the Duck:: Wow. This place seems to be full of echos today. ::Takes a wild, powerfull swing:: ::Duck falls on one side I think I wounded it! ::Duck falls over:: Alright, I got it! ::Turns around:: ::Sees a massive shadow rise up, brimming with both tenticles _and_ feathers:: Oh, shit. ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2005, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-thought-i-was-a-newbie-but-noooo/298065/48 "2005-04-08T17:43:14Z")
Okay, just for the record “::Duck” should have been “:: Duck” ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2005, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-thought-i-was-a-newbie-but-noooo/298065/49 "2005-04-08T17:55:43Z")
> [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](#): > > ::Avoids a blow from the Duck:: > > Wow. This place seems to be full of echos today. > > ::Takes a wild, powerfull swing:: > :: Duck falls on one side > > I think I wounded it! > > :: Duck falls over:: > > Alright, I got it! > > ::Turns around:: > ::Sees a massive shadow rise up, brimming with both tenticles _and_ feathers:: > > Oh, shit. What? You’re telling me that thing… BRED?!?! ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2005, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-thought-i-was-a-newbie-but-noooo/298065/50 "2005-04-08T18:17:11Z")
> [@Kythereia](#): > > What? You’re telling me that thing… > > BRED?!?! What, a Giant Duck with a Giant Squid? Who’s the pitcher and who’s the catcher? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2005, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-thought-i-was-a-newbie-but-noooo/298065/51 "2005-04-08T18:30:12Z")
Dude, we’re being attacked by a giant squiduck and you wanna debate the physics of it getting _laid_?!!? _crash, thud, squelch, QUACK_ ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2005, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-thought-i-was-a-newbie-but-noooo/298065/52 "2005-04-08T18:52:22Z")
Are we actually being _attacked_? :: looks around uneasily :: ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2005, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-thought-i-was-a-newbie-but-noooo/298065/53 "2005-04-08T18:53:36Z")
I’m not sure… _moves closer to **Sunspace** and **Daithi** , still aiming bow_ we haven’t been actually touched by those–_ugh, shiver_ _tentacles_–or anything, I– –wait! :eek: Where’s Mariah? ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2005, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-thought-i-was-a-newbie-but-noooo/298065/54 "2005-04-08T18:54:13Z")
\ The technical term for my latest creation is a “Squck”. Hey! Stop giggling! ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2005, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-thought-i-was-a-newbie-but-noooo/298065/55 "2005-04-08T19:09:46Z")
:: Indeed, Mariah’s tank is empty. :: And where’s **sneezy**? And what are those marks on the other door, the one where the newbies enter? ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2005, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-thought-i-was-a-newbie-but-noooo/298065/56 "2005-04-08T19:12:07Z")
Zeus! What if the Squck got Mariah and– _shrill scream from next room_ ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2005, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-thought-i-was-a-newbie-but-noooo/298065/57 "2005-04-08T19:35:48Z")
Well, looks like it’s time to form a war party to go in and save her. So far we have me, and a woman with a bow. Any other volenteers? ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2005, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-thought-i-was-a-newbie-but-noooo/298065/58 "2005-04-08T19:44:01Z")
Er, uh… I used to have +3 Vorpal but I lost it… And, yes, I \*am \* interested in beastly mating habits, as a matter of fact! ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2005, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-thought-i-was-a-newbie-but-noooo/298065/59 "2005-04-08T19:49:08Z")
That scream was from the Squid Storage Room… with the deep pool. Can any of you… swim? ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2005, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-thought-i-was-a-newbie-but-noooo/298065/60 "2005-04-08T19:49:37Z")
Oh, here, is this your +3 Vorpal? I found it over there somewhere… _passes it over_ (@$_&@_, I have to run and catch the bus for home… don’t storm the evil monster’s lair without me!) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-thought-i-was-a-newbie-but-noooo/298065.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-thought-i-was-a-newbie-but-noooo/298065.md?page=4)