# I thought I was a newbie, but Noooo! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 6, 2005, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-thought-i-was-a-newbie-but-noooo/298065 "2005-04-06T17:47:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2005, 12:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-thought-i-was-a-newbie-but-noooo/298065/121 "2005-04-13T12:01:30Z")
I don’t know, I find the frequency of these abominations somewhat disturbing. Is it something in the water? And to think that when Yes sang “There’ll be no mutant enemy, we shall certify,” I foolishly believed them… ---
**Author:** ![sneezy5660](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6a8cbe/32.png) [@sneezy5660](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sneezy5660)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2005, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-thought-i-was-a-newbie-but-noooo/298065/122 "2005-04-13T14:31:35Z")
> [@Daithi Lacha](#): > > I don’t know, I find the frequency of these abominations somewhat disturbing. Is it something in the water? > And to think that when Yes sang “There’ll be no mutant enemy, we shall certify,” I foolishly believed them… Abominations? Who said anything about abominations? When I joined, all I heard about was goats and the occasional squid. Let’s vote. Go on the expedition, or take our trail mix and go watch some videos? Polls close at midnight, get your vote(s) in now. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2005, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-thought-i-was-a-newbie-but-noooo/298065/123 "2005-04-13T18:00:00Z")
I vote for expedition, darling! Who knows what kind of mutant enemies and horrifying monsters we’ll meet? Just as soon as we get rid of this one… _slams door shut, yanks everyone inside as a loud, enraged **GRONK** is heard and the entire building shudders_ ---
**Author:** ![sneezy5660](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6a8cbe/32.png) [@sneezy5660](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sneezy5660)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2005, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-thought-i-was-a-newbie-but-noooo/298065/124 "2005-04-13T18:24:17Z")
_Wipes brow with sleeve_ Thanks **Kytheria** , that was close! Ya know, trail mix was mentioned, but did anybody bring water? _cough, cough, hack_ ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2005, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-thought-i-was-a-newbie-but-noooo/298065/125 "2005-04-13T18:36:14Z")
Well, there’s… um… the bin that Mariah was in… I suppose… ---
**Author:** ![sneezy5660](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6a8cbe/32.png) [@sneezy5660](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sneezy5660)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2005, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-thought-i-was-a-newbie-but-noooo/298065/126 "2005-04-13T18:59:13Z")
Squid water? Ummm, no. I don’t think I could handle water that been around initiation animals. Evian anybody? ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2005, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-thought-i-was-a-newbie-but-noooo/298065/127 "2005-04-13T19:55:56Z")
> [@sneezy5660](#): > > Squid water? Ummm, no. I don’t think I could handle water that been around initiation animals. > > Evian anybody? Well, I _thought_ there was water in the room through that glowing doorway over there, but I wouldn’t recommend going into it. [Bad](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=6030371&postcount=108) [juju.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=6033624&postcount=113) ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2005, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-thought-i-was-a-newbie-but-noooo/298065/128 "2005-04-13T21:02:06Z")
Well, I vote that we kill that GRONK-ing thing, and drink it’s blood. Why’s everybody looking at me like that? It’s a viable option! Like sarge said, “I only dirnk the blood of my enemies!” ---
**Author:** ![sneezy5660](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6a8cbe/32.png) [@sneezy5660](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sneezy5660)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2005, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-thought-i-was-a-newbie-but-noooo/298065/129 "2005-04-14T16:23:06Z")
> [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](#): > > Well, I vote that we kill that GRONK-ing thing, and drink it’s blood. Why’s everybody looking at me like that? It’s a viable option! Like sarge said, “I only dirnk the blood of my enemies!” **Regallag** , was that Sarge’s name \*\*Dracula \*\* by any chance? I guess we could use some iron in our diet, but I don’t know how thirst quenching it would be. (sorry it took me so long to reply, but work and sleep interfered. I worked till 1 am and just got up!) Sneezy ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2005, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-thought-i-was-a-newbie-but-noooo/298065/130 "2005-04-14T16:39:37Z")
:: **Sunspace** goes over to the mountain door, and cautiously opens it. :: :: Beyond is nothing but another dank concrete room. :: Um… people? I think you should have a look at this. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2005, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-thought-i-was-a-newbie-but-noooo/298065/131 "2005-04-14T16:41:43Z")
:: A closer look reveals that the roots growing through the mountain door have been neatly sheared off… parallel to the door’s surface. :: Something odd is going on here. ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2005, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-thought-i-was-a-newbie-but-noooo/298065/132 "2005-04-14T18:26:44Z")
_comes up behind **Sunspace** , peers into room_ What do you see? I can’t see a thing… _hears a SQUELCH_ :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2005, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-thought-i-was-a-newbie-but-noooo/298065/133 "2005-04-14T18:36:57Z")
:: **Kythereia** and **Sunspace** back up hurriedly. The squelching noice is coming from the Squid Sorage Room… where the Monster Bread had gone to meet its destiny in the Squid Storage Pool. :: I’m… not really sure I want to know what’s going on in there… ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2005, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-thought-i-was-a-newbie-but-noooo/298065/134 "2005-04-14T19:06:57Z")
Me either, but this could be dangerous to the newb… _another wet SQUELCH and a slop-slop-slop noise_ ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2005, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-thought-i-was-a-newbie-but-noooo/298065/135 "2005-04-14T19:30:25Z")
:: They go cautiously up the stairs. In the main room the sounds are much louder. Water is leaking past the damaged and half-open doors of the Squid Storage Room. :: :: Mariah is shuttling back and forth in her tank, her tentacles writhing. :: ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2005, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-thought-i-was-a-newbie-but-noooo/298065/136 "2005-04-14T19:40:51Z")
Mariah! Speak to us, honey! Are you all right? What– _SQUELCH_ ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2005, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-thought-i-was-a-newbie-but-noooo/298065/137 "2005-04-14T19:50:21Z")
Aw, _shit._ That doesn’t sound good… ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2005, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-thought-i-was-a-newbie-but-noooo/298065/138 "2005-04-14T20:28:12Z")
To arms! **Daithi** , get your Vorpal Blade ready! **Sunspace** – _a resounding SQUELCH as–it–crashes into the room_ ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2005, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-thought-i-was-a-newbie-but-noooo/298065/139 "2005-04-14T21:32:08Z")
Sac-ree-mento, California! Just _look_ at that thing! I don’t know if my +3’s going to be able to do much… Shoot, where’s a flame-thrower when you need it… ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2005, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-thought-i-was-a-newbie-but-noooo/298065/140 "2005-04-14T21:38:12Z")
A flame-thrower…? **Rue**! Where’s **Rue**? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-thought-i-was-a-newbie-but-noooo/298065.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-thought-i-was-a-newbie-but-noooo/298065.md?page=8)