# I threw up on the substitute and now I'm a hero **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 3, 2004, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-threw-up-on-the-substitute-and-now-im-a-hero/272837 "2004-11-03T20:34:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![START](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@START](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/START)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2004, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-threw-up-on-the-substitute-and-now-im-a-hero/272837/1 "2004-11-03T20:34:44Z")
I had a substitute teacher in one of my classes today and I was sitting at my desk not feeling like myself. I ate some leftover pizza at my buddy’s house this morning, I think that is what made me sick. I was trying to wait for class to be over but it seemed like every 1 minute was worth 3 minutes so I raised my hand so I could be excused and the sub kept saying “I will get to you later”. I felt sick but I didn’t know I was going to throw up but I wanted to get some air because the classroom seemed unusually stuffy. I finally got up without asking and began walking out of the room and Mr. Substitute Teacher gets in front of me and says “This isn’t a University where you can come and go as you please” and as soon as he said that I just heaved all over him. I vomited on his chest and his shoes and after that I was so embarassed I just walked past him and went to the restroom. After I had thrown up on him the whole class was cheering like some 2nd graders and also from what I hear after I left the room everybody STARTed throwing paper at him. Anyway I went into the restroom and the Health Clerk knocks on the door and asks if I’m ok and then I get taken to the office because the the Health Clerk doesn’t think I should drive home right away and the whole time I am in there students keep coming by congratulating me, telling me how great what I did was and saying to me how much that particular substitute deserved it because he was a “pussy”. I swear I did not plan to vomit on anybody. Things spread very fast because I had people congratulating me that were not even in that class. All I have to say is that this throwing up on the teacher thing was not planned so I could get props from the whole school but it feels nice. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2004, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-threw-up-on-the-substitute-and-now-im-a-hero/272837/2 "2004-11-03T21:04:01Z")
You know, fifty years from now, at your class reunion, someone will probably _still_ remember that, and say, “Hey! Remember how you threw up on the teacher? that was so cool!” Face it, this is what you are going to be famous for. 😃 I find it hilarious, because the teacher did sound like a jerk. I don’t approve that the rest of the class threw paper at him however. Yours was an accident, their actions were deliberate. From Baker, an old geezer almost fifty years old. ---
**Author:** ![Caricci](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Caricci](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caricci)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2004, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-threw-up-on-the-substitute-and-now-im-a-hero/272837/3 "2004-11-03T21:09:16Z")
It sounds like the sub deserved it. Good for you and I hope you feel better. ---
**Author:** ![MysteryFellow63427](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e4f/32.png) [@MysteryFellow63427](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysteryFellow63427)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2004, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-threw-up-on-the-substitute-and-now-im-a-hero/272837/4 "2004-11-03T21:26:09Z")
**START** , Don’t tell _anybody_ that it was an accident. Let the legend grow. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2004, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-threw-up-on-the-substitute-and-now-im-a-hero/272837/5 "2004-11-03T21:38:07Z")
You are so about to get laid. ---
**Author:** ![Ghanima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Ghanima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ghanima)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2004, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-threw-up-on-the-substitute-and-now-im-a-hero/272837/6 "2004-11-03T21:40:19Z")
The thread title alone makes you a hero. I was laughing before I even opened the thread! ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2004, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-threw-up-on-the-substitute-and-now-im-a-hero/272837/7 "2004-11-03T21:44:14Z")
You could ride that stream of vomit all the way to President of the Student Council! ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2004, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-threw-up-on-the-substitute-and-now-im-a-hero/272837/8 "2004-11-03T21:46:26Z")
What’s it called when you’re pukin’ and have diarrhea at the same time? In retrospect I suppose this could have been a lot worse for him. ---
**Author:** ![ExTank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/35a633/32.png) [@ExTank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ExTank)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2004, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-threw-up-on-the-substitute-and-now-im-a-hero/272837/9 "2004-11-03T21:47:40Z")
START: Student Most Likely To Vomit. ---
**Author:** ![Jenaroph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2004, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-threw-up-on-the-substitute-and-now-im-a-hero/272837/10 "2004-11-03T22:28:38Z")
> [@START](#): > > … I finally got up without asking and began walking out of the room and Mr. Substitute Teacher gets in front of me and says “This isn’t a University where you can come and go as you please” and as soon as he said that I just heaved all over him. Hey, guess what; he’s now aware that there are exceptions where you DO let students come and go as they please. Betcha he never ever blocks a student leaving the room again. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Lao\_Tsu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e79b87/32.png) [@Lao\_Tsu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lao_Tsu)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2004, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-threw-up-on-the-substitute-and-now-im-a-hero/272837/11 "2004-11-03T22:35:15Z")
Betcha he never substitute teaches again. Which is best for everyone involved. Good job, START. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2004, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-threw-up-on-the-substitute-and-now-im-a-hero/272837/12 "2004-11-03T22:42:01Z")
Get yourself a sweatshirt with “Captain Puke” on it. You’ll never lack for friends. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![yanceylebeef](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yanceylebeef/32/12290_2.png) [@yanceylebeef](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yanceylebeef)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2004, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-threw-up-on-the-substitute-and-now-im-a-hero/272837/13 "2004-11-03T22:58:58Z")
> [@](#): > > What’s it called when you’re pukin’ and have diarrhea at the same time? That is known as “The Brown Fountain”. Ah, flu season, how I’ve missed you so. ---
**Author:** ![Mirror\_Image\_egamI\_rorriM](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e56c9b/32.png) [@Mirror\_Image\_egamI\_rorriM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mirror_Image_egamI_rorriM)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2004, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-threw-up-on-the-substitute-and-now-im-a-hero/272837/14 "2004-11-03T23:10:27Z")
This morning, I scared a substitute because I had a rat sitting on my shoulder. It was hilarious. ---
**Author:** ![AwSnappity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a3d4f5/32.png) [@AwSnappity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AwSnappity)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2004, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-threw-up-on-the-substitute-and-now-im-a-hero/272837/15 "2004-11-04T00:19:01Z")
Best story of the week, definitely. There have been some teachers I would’ve liked to chorf on (_accidentally_…yeah, that’s the ticket), but I’ve never been lucky enough. ---
**Author:** ![phouka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c5a1d2/32.png) [@phouka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phouka)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2004, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-threw-up-on-the-substitute-and-now-im-a-hero/272837/16 "2004-11-04T00:28:40Z")
As a substitute teacher, I’d just like to say that your sub probably deserved it. It’s really not that hard to tell when a kid is ill, and if they’re ill and moving for an exit, you stay out of their way. Anything else is just a power play, and it makes the kids hate you (more). ---
**Author:** ![shamrock227](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@shamrock227](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shamrock227)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2004, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-threw-up-on-the-substitute-and-now-im-a-hero/272837/17 "2004-11-04T00:31:38Z")
Great story, START! If I can get my hands on a time machine will you come back with me and throw up on my Geometry Teacher? I hope you are feeling better. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2004, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-threw-up-on-the-substitute-and-now-im-a-hero/272837/18 "2004-11-04T00:34:32Z")
Jesus, what kind of moronic teacher stops a kid who says he’s gonna puke from leaving the room? Way to go, **START**!!! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Already\_in\_Use](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@Already\_in\_Use](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Already_in_Use)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2004, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-threw-up-on-the-substitute-and-now-im-a-hero/272837/19 "2004-11-04T01:09:52Z")
Heh, your story reminds me of a guy I knew in high school who poured a bottle of water on his crotch to give a sub the impression that her refusing to let him leave made him wet his pants. It was hilarious. But I think your anecdote is better. BTW, having to ask to go to the bathroom is one of the things I miss LEAST about elementary through high school. I remember there was a foreign exchange student who thought that was one of the most ridiculous things about American schools, and I agree. It’s not discipline; it’s a prison camp torture technique. (And it’s not like it prepares you for the real world, unless you have either a really strenuous job or a jackass for a boss.) ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2004, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-threw-up-on-the-substitute-and-now-im-a-hero/272837/20 "2004-11-04T01:53:16Z")
> [@lieu](#): > > You are so about to get laid. Just don’t barf on your partner. Unless they, y’know, ask for it. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-threw-up-on-the-substitute-and-now-im-a-hero/272837.md?page=2)