# I TOLD YOU SO ! This is why we shouldn't allow same-sex "marriage" **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 22, 2004, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-told-you-so-this-is-why-we-shouldnt-allow-same-sex-marriage/241415 "2004-04-22T13:27:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![calm\_kiwi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9fc348/32.png) [@calm\_kiwi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/calm_kiwi)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2004, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-told-you-so-this-is-why-we-shouldnt-allow-same-sex-marriage/241415/21 "2004-04-22T14:44:23Z")
Do androids come with vacum/dusting/dishwashing attachments? If so I want to I feel an urgent need to be married. ---
**Author:** ![calm\_kiwi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9fc348/32.png) [@calm\_kiwi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/calm_kiwi)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2004, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-told-you-so-this-is-why-we-shouldnt-allow-same-sex-marriage/241415/22 "2004-04-22T14:45:27Z")
> [@calm kiwi](#): > > Do androids come with vacum/dusting/dishwashing attachments? If so I want to I feel an urgent need to be married. Ignore that gobbledy gook. I want to marry one. ---
**Author:** ![Binarydrone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3da27b/32.png) [@Binarydrone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Binarydrone)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2004, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-told-you-so-this-is-why-we-shouldnt-allow-same-sex-marriage/241415/23 "2004-04-22T14:46:01Z")
> [@Ravenman](#): > > I’m in favor of human-android marriages. So long as I can be the android. > > Beep boop whirrrrr. > > Danger, danger: this whole thread is illogical! Hey, you all laugh now, but what about when people start wanting to marry their Realdolls. Then what? Holy shit, what if the Realdoll is the same gender as the person wanting to marry it? A double threat! Gay android marriage! The real threat to society. Please oh please won’t someone think of the children? ---
**Author:** ![calm\_kiwi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9fc348/32.png) [@calm\_kiwi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/calm_kiwi)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2004, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-told-you-so-this-is-why-we-shouldnt-allow-same-sex-marriage/241415/24 "2004-04-22T14:52:30Z")
> [@Binarydrone](#): > > Hey, you all laugh now, but what about when people start wanting to marry their Realdolls. Then what? Holy shit, what if the Realdoll is the same gender as the person wanting to marry it? A double threat! Gay android marriage! The real threat to society. Please oh please won’t someone think of the children? They won’t wash the dishes though! (yes I am ashamed I have seen the website) ---
**Author:** ![SkipMagic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skipmagic/32/20706_2.png) [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2004, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-told-you-so-this-is-why-we-shouldnt-allow-same-sex-marriage/241415/25 "2004-04-22T14:55:37Z")
> [@Hamadryad](#): > > Oh, I don’t think you’re going back far enough. I’m imagining a 40-year-old, who USED to, when he was 15, whack off to pictures of Sean Young in _Blade Runner_. Or maybe Daryl Hannah. New from Philip K. Dick: _Do Androids Dream of Electric **Jimmy Joe Meager**?_ ---
**Author:** ![Balduran](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/cc9497/32.png) [@Balduran](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balduran)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2004, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-told-you-so-this-is-why-we-shouldnt-allow-same-sex-marriage/241415/26 "2004-04-22T14:56:28Z")
> [@Binarydrone](#): > > Hey, you all laugh now, but what about when people start wanting to marry their Realdolls. Then what? Holy shit, what if the Realdoll is the same gender as the person wanting to marry it? A double threat! Gay android marriage! The real threat to society. Please oh please won’t someone think of the children? The human children or the android children? ---
**Author:** ![Binarydrone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3da27b/32.png) [@Binarydrone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Binarydrone)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2004, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-told-you-so-this-is-why-we-shouldnt-allow-same-sex-marriage/241415/27 "2004-04-22T14:59:29Z")
> [@Balduran](#): > > The human children or the android children? Well, obviously the human heterosexual children. The rest can go be separate but equal, or some shit. ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2004, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-told-you-so-this-is-why-we-shouldnt-allow-same-sex-marriage/241415/28 "2004-04-22T15:06:54Z")
Sounds like our OP might be a Latent Appliance Fetishist: A Latent Appliance Fetishist Is a person who refuses to admit to his or herself That sexual gratification can only be acheived Through the use of MACHINES . . . Get the picture? So when the OP’s learned how to speak German, he goes in this place and he sees these little Kitchen Machineries dancing around with each other, and he sees this one . . . that looks like it’s a cross between an industrial vacuum cleaner and a chrome piggy bank with marital aids stuck all over its body . . . it’s really exciting . . . and when he sees it, he BURSTS INTO SONG . ---
**Author:** ![UrbanChic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9dc877/32.png) [@UrbanChic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UrbanChic)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2004, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-told-you-so-this-is-why-we-shouldnt-allow-same-sex-marriage/241415/29 "2004-04-22T15:08:38Z")
Hold on there, folks. I think he’s on to something with this solo marriage concept… ---
**Author:** ![calm\_kiwi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9fc348/32.png) [@calm\_kiwi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/calm_kiwi)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2004, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-told-you-so-this-is-why-we-shouldnt-allow-same-sex-marriage/241415/30 "2004-04-22T15:10:12Z")
> [@Binarydrone](#): > > Well, obviously the human heterosexual children. The rest can go be separate but equal, or some shit. Think of the grandchilren!! Foam rubber grandchilren are no fun. ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2004, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-told-you-so-this-is-why-we-shouldnt-allow-same-sex-marriage/241415/31 "2004-04-22T15:25:34Z")
BTW it looks as if **JJM** is NOT going to be sticking around here much longer, barring a last-minute donation. As mentioned, the “logic” that allowing one means allowing all, is not valid. So he hasn’t “told us so” anything we did not know, namely that people would try and piggyback their own pet issue on this one. ---
**Author:** ![sperfur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9adbd/32.png) [@sperfur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sperfur)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2004, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-told-you-so-this-is-why-we-shouldnt-allow-same-sex-marriage/241415/32 "2004-04-22T15:39:36Z")
> [@calm kiwi](#): > > Think of the grandchilren!! Foam rubber grandchilren are no fun. Sure they are! Toss them in the air - if you don’t catch them, they bounce! Much less stressful than human children. If they run out in the street, they’ll bounce off the cars. If the fall out of a tree, they’ve got built in padding. Bio-engineered Foam Rubber Children. Order yours today! ---
**Author:** ![Hamlet](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hamlet/32/2818_2.png) [@Hamlet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamlet)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2004, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-told-you-so-this-is-why-we-shouldnt-allow-same-sex-marriage/241415/33 "2004-04-22T15:53:40Z")
> [@Hamadryad](#): > > Oh, I don’t think you’re going back far enough. I’m imagining a 40-year-old, who USED to, when he was 15, whack off to pictures of Sean Young in _Blade Runner_. Or maybe Daryl Hannah. Definitely Darryl Hannah. Anyone who chooses Sean Young over Darryl Hannah in BladeRunner does not deserve an android spouse. And thanks a lot **sperfur**. I can’t stop singing: \*They bounce downstairs Alone or in pairs And make a rubbery sound. Foam Rubber! Foam Rubber! For Kids it’s a wonderful choice.\* Get it outta my head!!! ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2004, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-told-you-so-this-is-why-we-shouldnt-allow-same-sex-marriage/241415/34 "2004-04-22T16:01:09Z")
> [@Binarydrone](#): > > Probably this is the real source of the Op’s ire. He secretly craves that red-hot android loving. I am somehow picturing a maladjusted 15 year old who has spent far too much time whacking it to pictures of 7 of 9. Or that one movie where the guy’s android short-circuited and he had to get another one with Melanie Griffith. No, no, the other guy. Yeah, that’s the one. Cherry 2000? ---
**Author:** ![badbadrubberpiggy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/57b2e6/32.png) [@badbadrubberpiggy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/badbadrubberpiggy)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2004, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-told-you-so-this-is-why-we-shouldnt-allow-same-sex-marriage/241415/35 "2004-04-22T16:15:46Z")
I like it when people start threads with “I told you so!” It really speaks for their maturity 😃 yes, beginning a thread with a childish taunt really prepares people to take you seriously and read your argument openly and willing to accept your point of view… and to that I have to say…neener neener neener, nobody agrees with you! So there! \*foam rubber children would give a whole new dimension to the phrase “I’m rubber, you’re glue, whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you!” ---
**Author:** ![Finagle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@Finagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Finagle)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2004, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-told-you-so-this-is-why-we-shouldnt-allow-same-sex-marriage/241415/36 "2004-04-22T16:19:31Z")
> [@IzzyR](#): > > However, this would not apply to the other forms of marriage that you describe. These are arrangements that are recognized by almost no one, In the U.S., of course you meant. Several Muslim and African countries implicitly or explicitly allow polygamy; it was also practiced in various parts of Asia, including China and Tibet. We’ll ignore for now the question of whether these marriages are a disaster for women’s rights or not. Objections to polygamy would be much more intelligently based on the unstable dynamics of multiple-person relationships than on any legal or moral objection. As you add more people to a relationship, the more likely it is that the whole edifice will come tumbling down. On the other hand, you could make a reasonable argument that a three-person relationship, if stable, would be ideal in modern American society. Today, you often need two wage earners in order to keep up, and yet a significant portion of those wages get swallowed up in day care. Having one person of a triad (gender undetermined) stay at home would be very handy. ---
**Author:** ![Tentacle\_Monster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ba9def/32.png) [@Tentacle\_Monster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tentacle_Monster)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2004, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-told-you-so-this-is-why-we-shouldnt-allow-same-sex-marriage/241415/37 "2004-04-22T16:31:08Z")
Nevermind all the other arguments about polygamous marriage. Can you imagine the wait to use the bathroom in the morning? Oh, and that was beautiful **gobear**. _Fick mich, du miserabler horensohn…_ ---
**Author:** ![calm\_kiwi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9fc348/32.png) [@calm\_kiwi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/calm_kiwi)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2004, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-told-you-so-this-is-why-we-shouldnt-allow-same-sex-marriage/241415/38 "2004-04-22T16:59:31Z")
I still say rubber grandchilren would be a disater. Never shake a baby is a good message! Those damn foam rubber babies can be bounced off the walls! ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2004, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-told-you-so-this-is-why-we-shouldnt-allow-same-sex-marriage/241415/39 "2004-04-22T17:09:20Z")
Thanks, **Tentacle Monster**. I’m glad to see that I’m not the only Zappa fan here. ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2004, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-told-you-so-this-is-why-we-shouldnt-allow-same-sex-marriage/241415/40 "2004-04-22T17:32:48Z")
> [@Finagle](#): > > On the other hand, you could make a reasonable argument that a three-person relationship, if stable, would be ideal in modern American society. Today, you often need two wage earners in order to keep up, and yet a significant portion of those wages get swallowed up in day care. Having one person of a triad (gender undetermined) stay at home would be very handy. I think that’s exactly the arrangement that **KellyM** and **lee** have worked out. I can’t remember who works and who stays home (or maybe they all work and have their schedules set up so somebody’s always home with the baby), but it seems to be working quite well for them. It’s not something that would work for a great many people, but they seem to have a happy, healthy, loving family so I say good for them. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-told-you-so-this-is-why-we-shouldnt-allow-same-sex-marriage/241415.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-told-you-so-this-is-why-we-shouldnt-allow-same-sex-marriage/241415.md?page=3)