Given the fact his trash was gone before he could retrieve anything from it, he did miss the collector anyway.
I can imagine a wonderful George Costanza-like scene at the landfill with both of you covered in garbage where your neighbor finally admits that he didn’t lose anything in the trash. It would be just like when Susan’s parents knew George was lying about his house on Montauk but made him drive out to it because they didn’t like him.
Wedding ring? Yeah, that stopped me right there. Yeah, he’s weird.
For the record, my next-door neighbor and I occasionally take each other’s bins to or from the curb. We have also shared space in our bin after she had a party - she asked first, so no biggie.
Story in the OP is Teh Weirdness, though. However, I doubt they’re secretly serial killers or anything, since they are not nice, quiet people and don’t keep to themselves!
I was just thinking about this again this morning because it’s so funny! I mean, can you imagine the thought process?
Oh no, we have company coming and my desk is a mess! Let’s see, I have 4 years worth of tax documents that I pulled out to double check. I’ll sweep them into this handy dandy trash bag. Here is a bunch of really important “orignal documents” that I need. Trash bag for them too. Ooh, my wedding ring. No time to put it on now! Into the trash bag it goes.
Hmm, this isn’t really trash, but I don’t want the company to think it is, so I’ll put it in a nice safe spot in the garage. And I’ll just keep reminding myself it’s there and won’t put it out on trash day!
Is your neighbor’s car parked regularly next to the trash can?
Obviously, the only way to make this right is by replacing his trash. While this won’t replace the wedding ring, adding a dead possum would be a thoughtful gesture.
I’m so glad I wasn’t drinking anything when I was reading that. Otherwise you’d owe me a new keyboard, a dead possum, and a wedding ring. (Of course I’d have to know you a lot better before accepting the dead possum.)
Question for married folks: How much of your life do you spend with your wedding ring off?
I won’t ask how much time it spends being stored in a trash bag at the bottom of a trash bin that’s out at the curb on trash day. I think I already know the answer.
Why am I sensing a followup from the OP in a couple of week when the guy complains the divorce paperwork was in a trash bag that accidently went in the trash can and was picked up by the trash truck (but it wasn’t trash).
I’m trying to imagine the conversation that would ensue with this guy’s wife:
“Where’s your wedding ring?”
“It went out with the trash.”
“WHAT!? You THREW AWAY YOUR WEDDING RING?!?”
“No, no, you have it all wrong. I was just storing it in the garbage can on garbage pickup day.”
“…”
Show up at his door with a fake wedding ring and tell him you spent 8 and half hours digging through the garbage for it.
I would not apologise too much. I’d have said something along the lines of, “Huh, I guess now you won’t do something so stupid again, eh?” or “Of course, you know that I know that’s a total bullshit story, right?”
But then, I’m a dick.
I’ve accidentally dropped some good stuff in a garbage can (my glasses fairly regularly when I take them off to wash my face), but as you can all probably imagine, I don’t just LEAVE them there. I’ve sometimes cleaned off a surface before a party by dumping it all in a box, but again, it doesn’t make it all the way to the curb in a trashbag with me thinking I’ll get around to it some time seconds before the truck shows up. There may be a perfectly logical explanation for your neighbour’s behaviour, but I can’t come up with it.
The explanation is obvious: The neighbor is lying.
Years ago I was planning on flying to see my family for the holidays. I was getting ready to get out the door when I did a last minute check to see if I had everything. Suitcase? Check. Carry-on bag? Check. Keys? Check. ID? Check. Cash? Check. Credit card? Check. Traveller’s checks? Check. Plane ticket?
Plane ticket?
Hello, plane ticket?
Panic set in. Where the hell was my plane ticket? I searched all over the place. It was gone. What was I going to do? I’d spent a lot on it and couldn’t afford to buy a last minute ticket for one of the many seats that are usually available on December 24th flights.
After checking in unlikely places such as the bathtub and fridge, I decided to look in the unlikeliest place of all – my trash can. After digging though a lot of trash, I found it. It must have been there for weeks. I probably thought it was junk mail. Thank god I’m a bit of a slob. Had I been a better housekeeper, I would have sent my ticket to the city dump weeks earlier.
I’m really glad my roommate didn’t decide to do me any favors by emptying my trash for me.
I’m just sayin’.
I think I finally figured it out. Your neighbor accidentally threw away a perfectly good white boy.
If there is one of those awful homeowners associations there you have a good out, you were keeping him from a possible fine. You could use that excuse now. Also say a dog was loose and pulling the trash out, be creative. I am sure he is lying, no one EVER visits a JW family. In fact the others flee if they come to visit you.
I might have done what you did, especially if the stuff stunk for instance and I lived right by, but I would have said I know nothing about it if asked. He could always assume the trash people did just pick it up if in plain sight, you know. Even if they normally would not have. Remember that next time.
But is is logical? 
Was he wearing his wedding ring when he told you this story?
Or a ring still worn by a severed finger.
It’s funny, every neighborhood had people like the OP’s neighbors who just send out the crazy vibe. My neighbor two doors up left some tools on his front lawn at the end of the day. In our neighborhood that is just asking for them to be stolen, so I put them up on his porch behind his flower pots.
Then there are the weird neighbors who claimed my mulch (on my side of their fence) was still over their property line. I saw their tools on the wall and thought “good luck with that.”